


The Song of the Stars and Sea

by AsprinForest



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angels, Angst, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Nymphs & Dryads, Selkies, Werewolves, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-06-10 17:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 117,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15296367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsprinForest/pseuds/AsprinForest
Summary: Kara can't help but feel this strange draw to the daughter of Lillian Luthor. Rumors say that she's nothing more than the bastard child of the widow while others say she's something else entirely. The Luthors are known for their immense wealth and powerful magic and no one dares to associate with them unless it's the dead of night and they're desperate. Alex tells Kara to stay away, but the song she hears from the stars at night says differently. Kara couldn't help but feel like she didn't belong on the farm with the Danvers Dryads and she felt like Lena didn't belong in the manor with the Luthors Witches. Little did she know that they both belonged somewhere else entirely.ORA forbidden love story between an angel without her wings and a selkie without her skin





	1. Chapter 1

The streaks of color from the rising sun had just begun to soften when Alex flicked the reins to urge the horses on. The cart roughly jerked forward, jolting Kara awake as she started to fall backwards in her slumber.

“Have a good nap, sis?” Alex laughed as she nudged her elbow in Kara’s side.

Kara groaned in response and batted away Alex’s arm. She arched her back in attempt to stretch out her now sore muscles from the hard-wooden bench of their cart. How she fell asleep against such an uncomfortable surface only served as a testament to her exhaustion. 

“It's your fault for waking me up so early, you know,” Kara grumbled as she attempted to rub the last remnants of sleep from her eyes.

“Well I’m not going let that pesky bean farmer beat us out of our spot of the market again,” Alex explained. “The last two weekends, he’s taken our slot at the front. And have you seen his peas?” She tossed her head back with a loud scoff. “I’ve never seen anything more shriveled and wrinkled in my entire life.”

“Oh yeah,” Kara yawned. “How could I forget?”

Alex narrowed her eyes at the disinterest in Kara’s tone. When it looked as if her sister would nod off again, she tugged the reigns to the left, aiming at the dip in the road.

“Oh gosh!” Kara jerked as the cart clanged against the pot hole. “Where did you learn to steer?!”

Alex just laughed.

“Just wanted to make sure you were still with me, lil sis,” she said.

“We should install some sort of strap to keep me tied into this thing,” Kara grumbled as she loosened her firm grip on the wood. “At the very least, a bar or railing I can hold on to as you insist on taking this cart off road.”

“Or you could just stay awake and keep the driver company.”

“If you wanted that, then I suggest leaving two hours later.”

Alex just rolled her eyes and continued to urge the horses. This time, she avoided the dips and holes along the road, but mostly for the sake of the produce in the back rather than her sister up front.

“What time did you get to bed last night?” Alex asked.

Kara shrugged.

“I got up in the middle of the night to get some water and I saw you were still awake in your room,” Alex continued.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Kara mumbled as she attempted to keep her eyes on the road ahead of her and not on her sister.

“You were looking out the window,” Alex said, eyeing her sister beside her.

Kara stiffened slightly, her hands resuming the tight grip on the wooden bench. She stayed focused on the horses’ movement in front of her as they traveled down the dirt road and waited for Alex to say more, but her sister stayed silent.

“It was like they were calling to me,” Kara finally whispered.

“Calling to you? The stars?” Alex asked. “Like they did in the beginning?”

“Sort of. It was more like a jumbled noise then. Like many voices all at once: some angry, some happy, some sad. It was much easier to ignore. But this was just one voice.”

“What did it say?”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t understand it. But it sounded like a woman singing. Her song was so beautiful, but so haunting. There was just this sadness to it…this longing.” Kara shook her head. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Maybe a widow’s lament?” Alex offered.

“Maybe,” Kara shrugged. “I just don’t know.”

“Do you think you’ll hear it again?”

“I don’t know. I sort of hope not since I’d much rather just get some sleep and I’m exhausted, but…” Kara sighed. “I want to help her.”

“Kara–”

“I know, I know,” Kara interrupted. “There isn’t anything I can do. I don’t even know if she exists. But I don’t want her to feel like no one’s listening, you know?”

Alex sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Then stop hitting pot holes.” 

“Kara, I’m serious.”

“It’s not like I have much choice in the matter, Alex,” Kara snapped. “I can’t exactly close the curtains and pretend it’s nothing. It comes to me whether I like it or not.”

“Okay, okay,” Alex sighed. “Just at least try to get some sleep, alright? You’re not exactly the best company when you’re tired.”

Kara snorted and attempted to settle herself against the hard-wooden bench once again.

“Just stay on the road,” Kara said as she closed her eyes. “And wake me up when we get there.”

“I meant get some sleep at night!” Alex replied as she tried to jab Kara’s side, but Kara dodged it easily this time.

\---

Due to Alex’s diligence, they had been the first to arrive at the market. Now, they were the ones setting up at the prime stall as the pesky farmer with the shriveled beans arrived. He glared at them as he passed by. Alex just smirked in response only causing his gaze to darken. Kara just rolled her eyes and took on the job of sorting through the produce that Alex unloaded from the cart in an attempt to create an alluring display of fruit and vegetables on their limited table space.

It wasn't long before the farmer approached their stall, most likely in an attempt to study these two young women and analyze whatever threat they posed. His browed furrowed when he saw their impressive display of nice round melons, plump purple radishes, and ears of thick corn. When his calloused, dirt stained fingers picked up one of the clean ears, Kara had to fight back the urge to snatch it back from him.

“A bit early for corn, isn’t it?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, you just got to make sure you space them out properly,” Kara smiled. “You going to buy that? I can cut you a deal if you buy the radishes with them. Maybe I’ll even throw in some peas.”

The man just scoffed and turned away, tossing the corn behind him as he left. Kara quickly moved to catch the corn before it hit the ground, but accidently knocked several melons off the table in the process. 

“Space them out properly?” Alex asked as she dropped another crate of radishes on the table. “Really, Kara? You couldn’t have said fertilizer or sunlight or something that sounded remotely plausible?”

“Oh, yes because I know everything about farming,” Kara grumbled as she picked up and wiped the dirt off the melons. 

Alex rolled her eyes as she wiped the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.

“Just finish unloading the cart,” Alex ordered. “I’ll take over the display and answering questions.”

“Ugh, fine,” Kara groaned as she stood up. “But you owe me.”

“I don’t owe you anything. Besides with your strength, you’ll unload that cart twice as fast as I ever could.”

“You’re just saying that so you can rearrange my display.”

“Well, who in their right mind puts the radishes next to the potatoes?! They’re incompatible! Or the melons on the end of the table? You don’t put the round produce on the edge. They’re just going to constantly roll off!”

Kara rolled her eyes and went to work unloading the rest of the cart.

The sky was clear today and the temperature had warmed up nicely which drew a nice sized crowd into the market. And business was going quite well for the two girls. Alex was selling the produce almost as fast as Kara unloaded it. People were buying the potatoes even if they were next to the radishes and the melons even if they had rolled off the table and corn even if it was a bit early, but Kara kept this detail to herself. 

As the sun reached its highest peak in sky, the crowd began to die down a bit for lunch. Another round of people would typically surge in the early afternoon, and if business continued like it had, Alex and Kara could expect to be home for an early dinner. Sitting on an upturned crate, Kara bit into her lunch of sweet corn while Alex remained standing, attempting to lure in customers with promises of unbeatable freshness and taste.

“Tired?” Alex asked as she saw Kara lean her head in her hand.

“More from lack of sleep than moving crates.” Kara explained as she took another bite of her corn.

“I don’t know how you do it.”

Kara shrugged. “Same way you grow stuff, I suppose.”

“Yeah, but that’s different… oh no,” Alex's face fell suddenly as she stood up straighter and turned to completely face the front.

“What?” Kara asked as she stood up to look. “Oh.”

Kara let the corn fall to the ground beside her as she quickly wiped the corn juice from her mouth in an attempt to look at least somewhat presentable. She attempted to adopt the same straight-back-with-arms-behind-her position of her sister, but Alex had always had better posture and a cooler head than her. Of course, Alex had much more experience with this family than she had, but Kara doubted that it would make any real difference how much time with them would make. She’d always feel the same dark, unsettling feeling clench in her stomach. 

A path always seemed to rise before the Luthors where ever they went and today was no exception. The crowd parted to make way for the regal, dark haired woman known as the famous Lillian Luthor. One look from her alone had been known to make full grown men cry. Beside her walked her son known simply as Lex. The skin on his bald head gleamed in the sun light as he moved. Rumors claimed he lost his hair in a fire when he was young while others said it had been removed by a court order to prove he wasn’t hiding a witch’s mark there. Regardless, the young man somehow made the look all the more threatening. 

Behind them walked the pale skinned, raven haired beauty that was Lena Luthor. While older folks agree that she was the bastard daughter of the Luthors, they argued which of the parents were hers. Some said that she was the only thing left of Lillian’s husband so Lillian tolerated her, only taking her in when she was older and had no place to go. Others claim that her cold eyes could only have come from the blood of Lillian herself. One thing was for certain though: whether it be because of gender or blood, Lex was the favorite child.

As the Luthors continued to walk, Kara’s eyes widened as she realized with a start that they were headed straight towards their stall. Her mouth suddenly felt dry and she wiped her sweaty palms against her cloth apron and wonder how on earth her sister remained calm and collected beside her with her head held high. 

Lillian stopped in front their stall, Lex flanking her right with Lena on the left, but a few steps behind. The hair on the back of Kara’s next stood on end as she felt Lex’s eyes grazed over her and she fought the urge to flinch back. He smirked when Kara’s gaze quickly dropped to the ground. Alex, however, held her stare firmly with them, determined not to give them such satisfaction. After a few tense seconds, Lillian finally spoke.

“Do you have the supplies I asked for?” her calm but stern voice sent chills down Kara’s back.

“Of course,” Alex replied as she bent down and reached for the cloth satchel under the table. “I hope everything is to your liking.” 

Lillian gave a slight nod of her head to Lex who then took the satchel from Alex’s hold. Carefully, he removed the ingredients from their cloth wrap one by one, checking to ensure that everything was in order. And it was. Alex knew better than try to swindle a Luthor. Everyone knew better. Those that had to learn still bore the scars.

“Sage, poppy, honey suckle,” his lips curled as he held up a branch of spiked green leaves and red berries. “Even holly. And all fresh.”

“As I told you,” Lillian said as her head turned back towards Alex. “The Danvers always have a way of procuring the freshest ingredients. Regardless of the season. Some say it’s due to their green thumb.” Her eyes gleamed before her voice dropped a tone. “Others say it’s like magic.”

Alex’s nostrils flared, but otherwise, she remained unfazed. Unlike Kara whose heart leapt in her chest as her eyes quickly darted across the market, fearful someone overheard. Luckily, everyone seemed too busy in their own business to care about theirs. And of course they would be. A Luthor wouldn’t make such a incriminating comment unless they were sure they could get away with it.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” Alex asked in an even tone.

Lillian raised an eyebrow, most likely surprised that Alex didn’t take the bait, but then she dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

“Lex, pay the woman,” she sighed as she started to turn her gaze away. “And Lena, be a dear and gather the flora. Then pick up some of those carrots and corn for the house.”

Lex tossed a bag of coins towards Alex a bit hard, but she caught it easily, not even breaking her gaze with him as he did. She didn’t need to count it. The Luthors prided themselves too much in their wealth to cheat a simple produce farmer. His lips twitched in a sly smirk as he turned to follow his mother, leaving his sister to gather the plants and food demanded of her. Her movements were quick but graceful and fluid as she rewrapped the flowers and branches and placed them inside her satchel along with the vegetables Lillian asked for. Movements so graceful and fluid that it went unnoticed when her pale arm carelessly knock the holly branch off the table. When she had turned and begun to leave, Kara finally spotted it on the ground next to her feet. 

“Wait!” Kara called out as she scooped up the branch in her hand and raced after her.

It wasn’t until Kara had placed her hand on Lena’s cloaked shoulder did Lena stop, flinching and twisting out of Kara’s grip to face her. Kara’s heart skipped a beat as Lena’s hard, almost murderous look in her eyes cut through her. A gaze that could only be brought from a Luthor.

“You dropped this,” Kara explained in a small voice, holding up the holly branch as evidence.

Lena’s gaze automatically softened and drifted almost towards fear before she reigned it back in. She plucked the holly from Kara’s hand and carefully placed it back deep within the satchel to ensure that it wouldn’t fall out again. 

“Thank you,” she murmured before she swiftly turned to catch back up with her mother and brother.

Kara’s response caught in her throat. She held out her hand to stop her, but Lena had already left and Kara’s legs, much like her tongue, briefly forgot how to function. All she could do was watch the raven-haired woman disappear into the crowd.

“Everything okay?” Alex asked when Kara finally did make her way back.

“It wasn't the stars,” Kara whispered. “It was her. She’s the voice at night that’s been calling me.”


	2. Chapter 2

With the cart empty of most of the produce, the horses trotted back to the market to the Danvers’ farm at a much quicker pace, but the tense silence between the sisters made the ride feel more like an eternity. Kara picked at her nails nervously. A dull ache had begun in her upper back since they left the market. She blamed it simply on the nerves and tension between them, but she couldn’t be entirely sure. Occasionally, she’d roll her shoulders in an attempt to relieve the pain as well as sneak a glance over at Alex to see if her white knuckle grip on the reigns had lessened. If anything, her grip only seemed to tighten. Finally, Alex spoke.

“You must be out of your mind,” Alex said, her voice rigid.

Kara’s eyes flicked over to Alex, but when she saw that her sister’s gaze remained on the road before her, Kara’s own fell back down to her nails.

“I know what I heard,” Kara mumbled.

“You heard her say two words!” Alex snapped, her nostrils flaring as her grip and shoulders tensed impossibly more.

“And that was enough!” Kara shouted back as she turned to face to her sister who still refused to look at her. 

It wasn’t often that the two sisters fought and even less that Kara fought back. She preferred to just let things go or assume that she was in the wrong rather than her sister. Alex was older and therefore knew more. But this was different. That voice from the stars had haunted her since it first graced her ears. It could have been just one word, one syllable, or even one note and Kara would still have recognized it. And she was not about to have anyone, not even her sister, tell her otherwise.

“Kara this is serious,” Alex’s voice softened slightly at Kara’s vindication, but the tone still remained stern. “She’s a Luthor.”

“But if she needs my help—”

“No,” Alex interrupted firmly, her eyes closing as she attempted calm herself. “No one helps the Luthors. No one gets _involved_ with the Luthors. Especially dryads.”

“Then why did you give them flowers and branches today in the market?” Kara persisted as she leaned towards her sister, determined to make Alex meet her gaze. “I don’t know about you, but that definitely seemed like involvement with the Luthors to me. The kind of involvement that can only be done with dryads.”

“That was different,” Alex's jaw tighten slightly as she kept her eyes forward. “They sent us a letter asking for a selection of ingredients in exchange for payment so we gave it to them.”

“That still sounds like involvement to me.”

“We didn’t have a choice!” Alex spat as she snapped her head towards Kara with a fire in her eyes that made Kara stagger back. “Do you want out fields burned? What do think happened to the Henshaws? Those dryads refused and the Luthors responded by sending flames in return. Flames that took not only Hank’s fields, but also his family. Why do you think we still here his screams across the land at night? The fire may be over on his farm but his mind is still plagued with those flames. Do you want that happen with our family? Do you want to be only one left and not even be able to make a fire to warm your food without fear and tears seizing you?”

Kara reeled back from Alex’s fury, her grip on the wooden seat being the only thing keeping her from falling as she stuttered, "I-I-I didn't know."

Alex closed her eyes and exhaled deeply through her nose. Her tight hands on the reigns pulled back, pulling the horses to a stop. She took another deep breath through her nose and out through her mouth. Kara thought it was to control her anger, but when she saw the tear spill down her face, she knew it was something more. Cautiously, Kara placed her hand on Alex’s shoulder, testing to see if Alex would push her away. When Alex relaxed at her touch, Kara began rubbing her hand in soothing circles along her back.

“I forget you weren’t here then,” Alex whispered. “It was only a few years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. We were preparing breakfast when we saw the smoke from out our kitchen window. Mom went to the other farms for help while Dad and I raced over to see if they were alright. Then we heard their screams.” Alex’s voice broke and she quickly ducked her head down as more tears threatened to overflow. “Megan was one of my best friends.”

“Oh Alex,” Kara wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her close. “I’m so sorry.”

Alex wasn’t typically one for crying, but she definitely wasn’t one for sobbing. She remained still in Kara’s arm as she refused to let the sobs rack her body, but still allowed her tears to stain Kara’s shirt. Kara did her best to utter soothing words to her sister, but she didn’t really know what to say. The Danvers weren’t exactly ones known for being emotional. Instead, Kara found that holding her sister tightly too her while rubbing circles along her back seemed to provide the best comfort.

After what felt like hours for Alex but only minutes to Kara, Alex pulled away. She held her head down slightly as if she were embarrassed as she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry about that,” Alex muttered, but Kara wasn’t sure if she meant that about her anger from earlier or about her tears just now.

“It’s okay,” Kara replied as she patted her hand on Alex’s shoulder. “I’m glad you told me.”

Alex scoffed in response.

“I probably should have told you in a less dramatic way,” she said. “I don’t think I could have shoved more emotion in that if I tried.”

Kara smiled kindly as she brushed a strand of Alex’s hair behind her ear.

“It’s important to you,” Kara insisted. “I don’t think you could have taken any of that emotion out if you tried. Even you don’t want to show it, you love fiercely. That’s just one of the reasons why you’re such a great sister and friend.”

“And you’re just sappy,” Alex said as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. With a flick of the reins, the cart surged forward, pushing both girls back into the seat. “But that’s why we keep you around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Kara laughed as she rolled her shoulder, still attempting to relive the ache from before.

“You okay?” Alex asked, noticing her sister’s discomfort.

“What? Oh yeah,” Kara pulled her arms in front of her, trying to stretch through the tension. “I’m fine.”

“It’s not…” Alex started.

“I’m fine,” Kara insisted a little more forcefully than she intended. “Please, just don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’s nothing. I probably just pulled something moving all those crates.”

But Alex knew she was lying. But she also knew that she wouldn’t get anything from her sister if she pushed her on it.

 

“Look who’s home early,” Eliza called out as she saw the girls roll up the drive on their cart. 

“Look who sold most of the produce,” Alex called back in response as she stopped in front of her mother standing on the porch. “Not an ear of corn or bushel of potatoes left.”

“What about the radishes?” Eliza asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Ugh,” Alex rolled her eyes. “Of course not. We still have almost a whole crate left. People in this town just don’t appreciate them like they should.”

“Well bring it inside then,” Eliza sighed. “I guess we’ll be having them for dinner then.”

Kara couldn’t hold back a groan. The only downside living with a bunch of dryads was that they never ate anything they didn’t grow themselves which resulted in some rather dull meals. Sure, herbs and spices could do wonders to any recipe, but sometimes Kara just wanted to slather her carrots in butter or mix the mushrooms with some beef. Or just leave off the mushrooms completely and just have a steak. 

“Hey!” Alex elbowed Kara in the side. “Don’t complain. Vegetables are good for your mind and body.”

“Yeah, but not my taste buds,” Kara moaned.

“Well tough cookies, sis.” Alex told her as she snapped the reigns.

“Cookies?” Kara perked up.

Alex just rolled her eyes and steered the horses towards the barn at the end of the drive. The barn wasn’t much. Just a wooden structure with peeling white paint that was barely large enough for the cart and the stalls for the horses. With not enough room, the plow had to sit outside beneath a crooked tin awning along the side. Even if the wood had come from dead trees, dryads typically only took the bare minimum when it came to lumber. If the Danvers had it their way, everything would be brick and mortar like their house, but of course, farmers didn’t have that sort of wealth. 

After the cart had been parked and the horses had been led back to their stalls and fed, Kara grabbed Alex’s arm before they headed inside.

“You’re not going to tell them, are you?” she asked.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Alex replied, shrugging her shoulders “Right?”

Kara’s couldn’t stop the remorse that tore through her stomach. Without a doubt in her mind, she knew that Lena needed her, but so did Alex. Her family.

Wasn’t blood stronger?

“Right,” Kara agreed, giving her sister a weak smile. “Of course.”

\---

Kara excused herself early that night. She blamed it on her exhaustion which was partially true, but really the ache in her upper back had become a bit too much for her to bear. Alex watched her attentively as she left and even stood up to follow, but Kara just shook her head, closing the door to her room before her sister could even take a step.

Behind closed doors, Kara quickly pulled the curtains closed and removed herself from her clothing. Luckily the cool summer night hadn’t settled in yet for her to feel the chills across her bare skin. She made her way before the cracked, faded mirror propped up on her book shelf in the corner of her small room. Taking a breath to calm herself, Kara turned so that her back was facing the mirror. Craning her neck over her shoulder, she pulled aside her long blonde hair to expose the two parallel, vertical scars along her shoulder blades.

They hadn’t been this red in a while.

When the Danvers first found her unconscious under that pine tree on the edge of their farm and took her in, the wounds had bled almost constantly. Her blood ruined so many of Eliza’s white sheets. But Eliza’s kind heart prevailed through it all, and eventually, her herbs and bandages had done their trick and the vertical slashes slowly scabbed over. Those scabs then became scars. Scars Kara so often forgot about it. Scars she willfully forgot about. They were the only physical attribute that proved she wasn’t a dryad like everyone else in town, besides the Danvers, believed. 

That she wasn’t just an adopted daughter, but a disgraced bastard as well.

Maybe that’s why Lena’s song found her, Kara thought. An unwanted bastard’s lament to another.

Sighing, Kara slowly turned away from the mirror and slipped her nightgown over her head. There was no sense on concerning herself with them now. Maybe she really did just over extend herself unloading the crates at the market. All she probably needed was a good night sleep. Yes, sleep. That was all she needed. 

Crawling under the covers, Kara carefully laid on her stomach, worried that lying on her back would only disturb her scars all the more. For a brief moment, she considered opening the window to allow the cool breeze and song of night to soothe her, but she resisted. She promised Alex she wouldn’t pursue what the stars had given her, and she didn’t intend to break that promise especially so soon after she made it. Instead, Kara rolled herself on her side, facing away from the window and urged herself to sleep before the stars began calling her again, but it was no use.

When Lena’s haunting song floated down from stars and crept in through the closed window that night, Kara didn’t sit up to listen to it like she normally did. Instead, she remained still, lying down beneath her covers. But Kara didn’t close her eyes. Whoever the artist be, she couldn’t let the beautiful lament go unheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Feedback is still always appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

“Would you stay on the road!” Kara sniped as she attempted to brace herself for another hard bump, barely keeping the hot tea in her hands from sloshing over the rim of her mug. 

“I am on the road!” Alex yelled back, pulling the reigns to the side in an attempt to miss a deep gouge in the road ahead. “It’s not my fault this road's full of dips and pot holes.”

“Then go slower,” Kara hissed as she curled over her mug protectively.

“I would but _someone_ didn’t wake up when they were supposed to this morning, and now we’re over an hour late on our deliveries.”

Kara narrowed her eyes at her sister before taking another small sip of her tea, doing her best not to spill it on her lap as they bounce across the rough road. 

“Well sorry,” Kara sneered, mimicking her sister’s derision. “You try not getting a wink of sleep during the night only to finally drift off to be suddenly awakened by some tree woman banging on your door.”

“Look, if you didn’t want to come then you should have just stayed behind.”

“I didn’t exactly know that was an option,” Kara mumbled over the rim of her mug.

“Have you been drinking that chamomile tea I gave you?” Alex asked, glancing at her sister over her shoulder, her voice softening when she noticed the deep purple bags prominent hanging under her blue eyes.

“Two cups every night,” Kara sighed before taking the last gulp of her green tea. “I would drink more, but then I’d spend most of the night in the bathroom than the bedroom.” She tossed her mug into the back, hearing the metal clang against the wood. “It just doesn’t seem to work though. Nothing does.”

“Have you tried ear plugs?” Alex asked.

Kara let out a loud laugh. 

“Trust me I’ve tried everything. I know it comes from the stars, but it appears in my head. It’s like she’s singing right beside me, but I can’t leave and she refuses to be ignored.” 

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Kara leaned back, instantly jerking away when her sore back pressed against the wood backing. The pain shot through her and down her spine making Kara grit her teeth in pain as she arched forward.

“Do you want me to look at that?” Alex offered. “I’m sure we can use some marigold or something to take care of it. Mom still probably has some of the salve from before or we can make more.”

“No,” Kara said quickly, but her resolve cracked under the look Alex gave her. “It’s just… this time it feels different. It’s not just the scars. I don’t think the salve will work, and I really don’t want to worry any more people about this.”

“We worry because we care, you know,” Alex told her as she pulled back on the reigns to slow the horses pace. “And hiding it will only make it worse.”

Kara sighed.

“Please Alex,” Kara begged. “Let me just try to handle this my own way first. I promise I’ll let them know if it gets any worse, but right now… I’m handling it.”

“By snapping on your sister every morning?” Alex asked, raising her thin eyebrows.

“You made me spill my tea!” Kara defend, gesturing to the wet spots on her lap.

Alex scoffed. “Must you always have to criticize my driving?” 

“Well, you could always let me drive,” Kara offered, leaning her head towards Alex.

“Yeah right. Our goal is get the produce delivered today, not next week.”

“There is nothing wrong with taking it slow! So what if I like to enjoy the scenery and take my time to avoid the potholes rather than fly over them?”

“Oh whatever. Face it, I’m the one that keeps us on the schedule. Just sip your tea from the passenger seat and enjoy the same scenery we past almost every day.”

Shaking her head, Kara crossed her arms.

“Dibs on driving back then.”

“Oh, well see about that,” Alex said cocking an eyebrow.

\---

Despite her pain, Kara insisted on carrying the crates during the delivery, claiming that it was less painful that surviving the same small talk with the locals over and over or the constant haggling with business owners like Cat Grant. All Kara had to do was drop the crates off in the hands of the receiver or place it where they so desired and then wait for them to unload so she could take the empty crate back to the cart to be used again. Alex handled collecting the payment and writing down what and when their customers sought their produce again. Kara couldn’t help her smugness when not one customer commented on their later than normal arrival. All except Cat Grant, but she took every opportunity to try to save a penny. Thankfully, the sisters only had to deal with her on a biweekly basis. 

They had made good time and when the last delivery came around, Kara was already looking forward to lunch. She’d discretely bought brown sugar from a merchant on the edge of town earlier that morning and couldn’t wait to get home and cover her warm sweet potato with it. Maybe she could find some pecans in the pantry to add to it. Hank probably had some, she thought. He had a knack when it came to tree nuts. Maybe she could even get some almonds. Would those taste good with brown sugar? By the way Kara’s mouth watered, she was sure that they did.

As they pulled in front of Jess’s Tavern, their last stop for the day, something caught Alex’s eye over at the business across the street, and she immediately sat up straighter in her seat. Her nimble fingers hastily undid her ponytail only to redo it. She quickly wiped her face with hand as if she thought something could be on it. Kara could swear she saw a little color flare to her sister’s cheeks.

“Can you do this last one solo?” Alex asked as she climbed down from the cart straightening out her clothes and brushing the dust off afterwards. 

“I mean, I guess,” Kara replied, cocking her head to the side. “But why?”

“I just have to go, uh, see someone,” Alex answered, a deeper blush coloring her cheeks.

Kara narrowed her eyes. 

“Who?”

“No one you know,” Alex quickly brushed off as she turned to cross the road. 

“Alex!”

“I’ll meet you back by the cart!” she called back over her shoulder.

Kara sighed and turned towards the back of the cart, grateful when she saw that only one crate remained. Jess’s Tavern wasn’t exactly the place that prided itself on fruits and vegetables, but the owner always preferred to have a nice basket of fresh apples out. She claimed it enhanced the atmosphere, and therefore the actions of the clientele. Kara was sure that there was more to it, but as far as she knew, Jess’s Tavern had probably the lowest number of violent altercations in the area. Even lower than the courthouse. And if apples were a part of that, then Kara would do her best to provide them.

Even though the tavern was technically opened, the place was mostly deserted as it was still before noon. The owner, Jess, stood behind the bar, cleaning the glasses with a towel when Kara walked in. Jess jerked her head towards the counter in front of her; Kara obliged by setting the crate down there.

“Same time and order next week?” Kara asked.

“As always,” Jess answered, her tone clipped as she slapped the cash in Kara’s hand before taking the crate in the storage room back behind the bar.

If anything, Kara could always count on Jess being brief and despising small talk.

As she counted the coins in her hands to double check the payment - although she doubted Jess would ever intentionally cheat her – Kara noticed a raven-haired woman at the end of the bar. She became drawn to watching the way the woman’s green eyes danced over the pages of the open book in front of her, and her pale fingers flipped through the pages while sipping from a glass of what looked like water from the other. She sat perched on the wooden stool with a grace and posture that seemed almost unnatural and absolutely uncomfortable, but she didn’t seem to mind. And Kara knew within a heartbeat exactly who she was: none other than Lena Luthor.

Kara’s heart skipped a beat and then took off in a sprint. Lena Luthor, the very same girl whose song had kept her awake the past several nights, was sitting alone by herself just mere feet in front of her. And Kara couldn't help but feel this draw to befriend her and hopefully soothe her sorrow and pain. But how? She didn’t know, but talking seemed like the easiest way to start. Alex wasn’t here to stop her. Alex didn’t even have to know. But Kara would know and Kara would know that she broke a promise with her. Wasn’t blood stronger than this strange pull? It had to be.  
But she so desperately wanted to hear that voice speak to her again. Not in its mourning song, but just in simple speaking voice, almost like at the market. Maybe even a conversation. And soon, Kara found her feet leading her towards breaking her sister's promise.

“Hi,” Kara greeted with a smile as she approached the Luthor witch.

Lena glanced up from her book, her green eyes flicking up and down Kara as if she was either attempting to remember her or sizing up a prey. However, from the way her eyebrow arched, she seemed to lean more towards indifferent annoyance.

“Hi,” Lena replied, but by her tone and the way her gaze returned to her book, it felt more like a bid farewell than a warm welcome.

Kara opened her mouth, but shut it quickly as she silently kicked herself for her inability to engage in simple small talk. Her nerves had already wound her up and Lena’s response only rattled her more. Even if it Lena had been trying to be dismissive, she still spoke in the same voice that Kara automatically recognized as the one from the song the stars brought her. And she desperately wanted to hear it again.

“You’re Lena, right?” Kara asked despite her own certainty of the fact.

“So it would seem,” Lena’s mumbled, not taking her focus away from her book.

“Lillian Luthor’s daughter, right?” Kara persisted.

Lena’s jaw clenched as she looked up from her book. “So it would seem,” Lena repeated slower. “And you’re the delivery girl. Don’t you have more deliveries to make?”

“It’s, uh, Kara actually,” Kara corrected, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck. “Kara Danvers. And I’m not just a delivery girl. I mean, yeah, I make deliveries, but I do more than that. I was actually one of those girls at the market the other day who sold you the holly and stuff.”

“Oh that’s right,” a brief light of recognition shone in her green eyes before her annoyance flared back up. “So, it’s farm girl then.”

“Um, yeah, I guess so.”

Kara’s eyes dropped down to the worn, leather bound book in Lena’s hands that had her enamored. Kara scanned the cover for a title and found none, but whatever it was, by the wear and tear along its binding and by the writing along the dog-eared pages, it was clearly one of Lena’s favorites.

“What book is that?” Kara asked.

“It’s not a book actually,” Lena replied, snapping it shut. “It’s a play.”

“Oh, sorry, it just looked like a book.”

“Well, you of all people should know how often appearance conflicts with reality.”

Kara felt her mouth go dry. Her chest constricted. Her shoulder blades tingled. How did she know?

“All your family really,” Lena continued as she stood up. “Is it really fair to the other farmers to have them competing with the likes of you?”

Kara’s lungs deflated as she breathed a sigh of relief. How quickly she forgot about the dryad she was supposed to play. 

“We just sell enough to get by,” Kara explained slowly as she realized the attack behind Lena’s words. “And we do our bests to make it fair. I mean, we don’t venture out of the produce market and we don’t sell in the winter and spring months.”

“But you still play a part you’re not,” Lena drives.

“Well, I mean, can’t the same be said about you?”

“Precisely,” Lena’s lip curled as she started to move towards the door. “And I suggest that not be something you easily forget, farm girl.”

Her words sounded like her mother's, but her tone lacked the harsh cruelty that Lillian’s was known for. And then there was the faint hint of an accent that hung on certain words. An accent Kara couldn’t place. Perhaps English was her second language, Kara thought. One she learned after the one she sung her sorrows in.

“Thank you, Jess,” Lena nodded at Jess as she walked towards the door. “Perhaps next time I’ll be able to stay longer.”

“Wait!” Kara called out as she grabbed the empty crate Jess had recently returned.

She raced to follow Lena out the door, but Lena ignored her call. Instead, she pulled herself up gracefully on top of her black horse and drew the hood of her brown cloak up to block her pale skin from the sun. For a brief second, Kara’s blue eyes met Lena’s green ones, and she could have sworn she saw some flicker in them. A flicker of something more than the insensitive and hard attitude she projected. But then, it was gone with a turn of her head. Clicking her heels against the horse’s side, Lena trotted down the road and into the woods and out of Kara’s sight. 

Kara’s blue eyes lingered where Lena had faded into the trees and brush, sucking her teeth as she ran her fingers through her blonde hair. But her frustration was nothing compared to the fury that lied in Alex’s livid expression when Kara turned her gaze back to the cart. Kara’s stomach twisted into a tighter knot with each step she made towards her.

“Alex…”

“I thought we agreed that you weren’t going to pursue this.” Alex seethed, her arms crossed in front of her.

“I know, but I just wanted to talk,” Kara feebly explained.

“Well that seemed to go really well,” Alex sneered as she took a step towards Kara, taking the wooden crate from her hands. “Just tell me when I should expect to see smoke rising from our crops.”

“Please, Alex –”

“No Kara! What were you thinking? Are you trying to get us killed?!”

“It’s not like that!”

“Then what is it?!” Alex demanded, throwing the crate into the back of the cart before recoiling her hand in pain. “Dammit!”

“Alex!” Kara cried, this time out of concern rather than anger.

She ran up to her sister, who was cradling her hand against her side. Gingerly, Kara lifted Alex’s hand to examine the damage. A small cut ran along Alex’s palm from what looked like where a wood splinter had torn through her skin as she had thrown the wooden crate. A small line of blood had begun to drip down her hand.

“It doesn’t look too bad,” Kara murmured. “Just hold still.”

Kara gave a quick look up and down the empty street and the surrounding businesses to see if their argument had drawn any sort of crowd, but she saw not a soul, so she turned her attention back to Alex’s hand. Gently, Kara placed her thumb on wound, triggering a sharp intake of breath from Alex. Humming softly to herself, Kara drug her thumb along the cut, leaving healed skin behind her touch. It wasn’t until she had finished did Alex finally let go of the tension in her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Kara muttered, her eyes still focused on Alex’s hand she held in hers.

“Look,” Alex sighed. “Just promise me that you won’t talk to her or about her again. Or any business with the Luthors. Just promise me you’ll stop all this, okay?”

“Okay,” Kara mumbled. 

She kept her head down as she fought the strange sudden waves of tears prickling her eyes.

“Hey,” Alex whispered, placing her hand on sister’s cheek so she could look at her watering, blue eyes. “I just don’t want you getting hurt. Or any of us for that matter. It’s for our own good.”

Kara nodded against Alex’s hand.

“I know.”

It wasn’t until then that Kara realized she hadn’t felt her scars the entire time she was in the tavern with Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all - so I added a fluff tag cause that's pretty much what every other conversation is and I have a tendency to ramble on way too long when any food is concerned. I also added Winn to characters because he somehow slipped my mind earlier. Don't worry, I'll try to make it up to him next chapter.  
> As always, thank you for reading and feedback is always appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

Kara carefully held her woven basket level as she dismounted her horse under the mighty oak tree just off the road. Stroking the chestnut fur of her horse, Kara moved the reins so that they could be tied to one of the oak’s low hanging branches. Smiling, she held out her palm to reveal the treat she had been hiding in her pocket: a thick, orange carrot. The horse’s lips moved swiftly to snatch the carrot out of Kara’s hand into its teeth, but only knocked it on the grass below. Kara just laughed and stroked the horses neck, dropping another carrot in the grass for the horse to munch on later before she made her way into the small apothecary.

It wasn’t a very large establishment, but the owners had certainly made the most of it given the number of shelves, cupboards, and other various things nailed to the wall and ceiling. From the faded windows and cracks within the wooden walls, yellow sunlight streamed in from unexpected places, giving the substances in some of the glass jars an odd glow. The floor boards underneath her feet groaned and creaked under the new weight, but she knew they were sturdy as she walked across the slanted foundation. A strong musky scent crinkled her nose that she wasn’t quite able to place, but she thought she noticed notes of rosemary and lavender underneath it. Regardless of whatever headaches the smell often gave her, it was still one of her favorites as it always triggered cheerful memories and a smile.

“Kara! I didn’t know you’d be stopping in this afternoon.”

“Hey Winn,” Kara smiled. “Yeah, sorry for the lack of notice, but I just wanted to ask you for something.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Winn said hastily and intentionally cutting her off. “I’ll be with you in just a second.” He jerked his head towards the older lady at the other end of the counter looking at the different spices within a off-kiltered shelf of multicolored glass jars.

A mortal. Kara nodded, understanding immediately. Their conversation would have wait until they lacked a non-magical audience. She busied herself among the cramped assortment of varying sizes and colors of bowls and vessels along the narrow aisle along the back. For a moment, she considered touching one, but feared she would knock over one the precariously stacked piles piled much too high. She pitied anyone who caught their eye on the container at the bottom of the stack as it would surely take nothing less than an earthquake to get to it.

After several minutes, Winn finally succeeded in ushering the older woman out the door with a bag of material in hand. Waving her goodbye and urging her come again, Winn finally shut the door and let out an exasperated sigh before heading back to the counter.

“Mortals,” he groaned. “I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand them. How can it take anyone almost an hour to buy one thing?”

“I guess some people are just like that,” Kara shrugged as she noticed him writing a note down. “What are you doing?”

“I always write down the date and names of those that I sold rat poison to,” he explained. “I don’t always trust that they’ll use it for rats. This way when police come knocking, I’ll have what they need, and I won’t look suspicious.”

“Wow. Has that happened before?” She wrinkled her brow in concern.

“I’ve heard stories before from the town over. Of course, I may just be being paranoid, but it never hurts.” He dropped his pencil and rubbed his forehead exasperated. “This job just isn’t worth it sometimes.”

“Would some food help?” Kara held up her woven basket. “I brought some radishes and carrots.”

“Oh yay, rabbit food,” Winn muttered sarcastically. “When are the Danvers going to start growing something exotic like sugar cane or bananas? Some man came in here the other day raving about this fruit called the coconuts. Sweet fruit, full of milk, and you can even use the husks to make like small bowls afterwards. Now that sounds like what I call exciting.”

“Because that wouldn’t raise suspicion at all,” she said as she approached the counter to set the basket down. “We’re already pushing it bringing in crops that are out of season.”

“I’m not saying that you guys bring them to market,” Winn explained in a whiny voice. “Just like grow them in secret and then bring me some. Just give me a few weeks and I can even supply the seeds. Please?”

“Nice try, Winn,” Kara smiled. “But you’ll have to make this argument with Eliza and Jeremiah. Although, I’m sure you could sway Alex.”

“Oh please,” Winn scoffed. “That woman would punch me through a wall as soon as I said the word ‘banana.’”

“You know she does like you, right?” Kara said after laughing. “And that she forgave you a long time ago.”

“Yeah, no. I don’t think anyone really forgives the one who accidently gave them what they claimed was an antidote to a migraine but really caused them to break out in boils.”

“But you did cure her migraine.”

“I think that becomes irrelevant when boils are concerns.”

Kara shrugged. “Oh well. I still think she’s forgiven you.” She held up the basket once again. “Do you want the food or not?”

“Have I ever turned down your food before?” he waved his hands forward. “Oh, and I have something that I think you’ll like.” Winn leaned back into the storage room behind the counter and picked up a dinner roll with melted butter dripping across the top from his desk there. “I was going to eat it as a snack, but I thought you might want it.”

Kara’s eyes widen and her mouth watered. “Please!” 

She snatched the roll from his hands and swiftly bit into it. Her eyes closed and a soft moan escaped her lips as the warm bread filled her mouth and liquid butter sweetened the taste.

“I love butter,” she mumbled through a mouthful before taking another bite.

Winn couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I know. Although, I must say, it’s a little bit alarming. Especially coming from a girl most people think is vegan.”

Kara just ignored him and finished her bread much faster than she would have liked.

“So, what brings you here?”

“Oh, um,” Kara stammered as she set the basket down on the counter, her nerves tightening and stomach twisting. “I was wondering if you had any tonic or, uh, salve, for, um, shoulder pain.”

“Shoulder pain?” he arched an eyebrow. 

“And inflammation,” Kara added softly.

“Would this have anything to do with…” he let the final words hang in the air as he gestured to his back.

“Yeah,” she sighed as she looked away. “They’ve been hurting the past few days… and I don’t want Eliza to worry.” 

Kara was already worried enough.

“I can see what I can do,” Winn assured her. “But I can’t make any promises. I don’t really have much experience with angel half-breeds.”

“Winn!” Kara shouted as she hastily looked around to see if anyone had heard him in the empty store. At home it was one thing, but here in a store that just anyone could walk into at just any moment, it was something else entirely.

“Relax Kara,” he brushed her anxiety off with a wave. “No one’s in this store but us. And I doubt anyone will walk in any time soon. Rush hour’s already passed and business has been slow for a while anyways. Unless you’re an old lady looking to kill her husband with rat poison, but hopefully there aren't too many of those around.”

She ran her fingers through her thick blonde hair. Of course, he was right, but it still never stopped Kara’s own paranoia that someone besides Winn or the Danvers would discover the truth. Just hearing someone say it aloud stole the breath away from her chest. That simple truth that she didn’t belong here, not even in the magical community. No matter how hard she tried.

“I know, I just don’t like it being said that’s all,” Kara said, her eyes lingering on the door. “We can never be too careful, you know?”

Winn arched. “Whatever you say, I guess.” He waved her over to the lopsided shelves lining the back on the side. “Let’s see what we have.”

Much like everything else in the store, there was more crammed in the small space than Kara thought imaginable. Everything from jars to sticks to strips of clothes seem haphazardly thrown on top of one another. How Winn even managed to pick something up without triggering an avalanche amazed her. Most of the glass on the jars had clouded with age while the labels on others had turned yellowed and begun to crack away. On top of it all settled a fine layer of dust. Yet, he seemed to know what lied in every corner of the rickety shelves, even if he did have to squint and shake it a little first. However, despite his competence, Kara thought it’d be best to keep her distant.

“So, does it burn?” Winn called out behind him. “I got some aloe cream here… I think.”

“Sometimes, I guess.”

Winn tossed it aside and ducked down to check out the lower shelves.

“Is it the muscle around it or the, um, cuts itself?”

Kara couldn’t help but winch at his wording. 

“Both,” her voice a bit smaller now. 

Winn nodded and waddled over to the other side of the shelf, still crouched down as he dropped his head to inspect the bottom shelf.

“Is it causing in headaches? Migraines?”

“I don’t know.” Those could be from lack of sleep alone.

Winn pursed his lips as he picked up an opaque green jar. 

“Is it hormonal?”

“Winn!”

“Just thought I’d ask, jeez!” Winn stood up, stretching out his back as he did, his vertebrae popping against one another. “I’m a witch, not a psyche. I just want to make sure I’m covering all the bases, okay? I don’t think I’ll be able to escape with my life if I give another Danvers woman boils. And you’re not exactly giving me a whole lot to work with.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” she ran her hands anxiously through her hair again, this time fisting her fingers in it and pulling until her scalp ached. “I don’t really know how to describe it. It just hurts.”

Winn tapped his lips with his finger as his eyes drifted off. Kara sighed. She knew she hadn’t given him much to go off of, but she really didn’t know what to give. Sometimes her back felt so inflamed that she had to cover it with wet cloth to find any relief while other times she had to sit on her hands to resist scratching its sudden unbearable itch, but then feel pain from touching them just hours later. She’s woken up covered in sweat and, then in the same night, her body convulsed and teeth chattered from shivers. Nothing she tried from the Danvers herb garden seemed to help, not even the old salve Eliza had once used. That’s why she came to Winn. Even if he didn’t know how to solve it, he could at least contribute something, and Kara was desperate for anything at this point.

“Do you know what caused it?” he asked after a moment.

“I…” her voice caught in her throat. Her promise with Alex still stood. Kara hadn’t done or said anything in the past couple of days, but listen to the song from the stars at night. No one knew about it or Lena besides the two of them. Wasn’t it violating her promise if she told Winn even if she was in pain and desperate?

“Kara,” Winn promoted, raising his black eyebrows as he leaned towards her.

He already knew she was hiding something. He always did. And he wouldn’t stop until he found out what it was. Just like he did when he found out what she really was. And Winn always found out.

“I’ve been hearing things,” she mumbled. “At night.”

“Hearing things?” Winn’s dark brown eyes instantly filling with concern as he took a step towards her. “What kind of things?”

“Like… songs, callings,” she explained as she shook her head. “But they’re in a language I don’t understand.”

There was no point in mentioning Lena. That much of her promise she could keep with her sister. Hopefully, it would be enough to get Winn off her trail, but still provide help.

“Hearing things are never good in our world,” Winn muttered as he scratched his head. “Especially when they’re either songs or at night. I wonder…” 

Moving back behind the counter and into the storage room behind it, he quickly returned with a thick, leather bound book with writing Kara didn’t even understand scribbled across the cover. A dust cloud erupted as he dropped it on the counter and rapidly flipped through the pages. Winn’s magic may drastically pale in comparison to the Luthors, but his impressive arsenal of library books and paranormal knowledge went unmatched. 

“Angels, angels, angels,” he murmured, not noticing how his words triggered stiffness in Kara’s shoulders as she held her arms tighter across her front. “Ah! Here it is!” His eyes scanned the page as Kara tapped her foot. “Huh, okay, so it doesn’t really say much about a calling or song… Honestly, it doesn’t say much at all outside of what we already know. They’re warriors, guardians, messengers… Maybe it’s a message?”

“A message?” Kara scoffed. “I’ve been here for years! I'm not even full blooded! And after what they did to me!” Her blue eyes blazed with an anger she rarely expressed. “Why would they even be sending me a message in the first place? Especially one I don’t even understand.”

Winn shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe they’re desperate?”

“Oh, that’s reassuring!” 

Then the door opened. Kara whipped around in an attempt to use her body to block Winn as he hastily shut his book and rushed to hide it under the table. Her anger swiftly faded and turned to embarrassment and panic.

“Mon El!” Kara exclaimed much louder than she meant.

“Kara Danvers!” he responded with mock enthusiasm, cocking his head slightly. “Why are we referring to ourselves by our full name? Where’s Winn? Or should I say Winn Schott?”

“Right here!” Winn jumped up from underneath the counter, his face a little flushed as he attempted to look casual by leaning on the counter. “What’s up, Mon?”

Mon narrowed his eyes as he walked towards them, noting just how red Kara’s face had become as she looked away.

“Did I interrupt something?” he asked, pointing between them two of them.

“What? No!” Winn quickly replied, waving his hands. “I was just showing Kara here our selection of…” his eyes fell to the paper on his desk. “Rat poison.”

“Rat poison?” Mon parroted. “But I thought dryads didn’t hurt animals.”

“Well, uh,” Kara stumbled over her words as she scrambled to think of an excuse. “We’re not technically hurting them. They’ve been destroying a lot of our crops and we’re quite fond of plants, so we thought we could use it to scare them…”

“What brings you in today, Mon?” Winn interrupted in an attempt to save Kara before she drowned herself in the hole she was digging.

“Oh yeah,” he turned towards Winn, forgetting about Kara momentarily. “I was wondering if you had any wolfsbane left.”

While wolfsbane didn’t stop a werewolf’s change, it drastically lessened the pain of it, making it a staple for any pack. After every full moon, Winn barely had any left on the shelves and typically looked to the Danvers for stock. If Kara had remembered, she would have brought some with her.

“That’s right,” she realized. “There’s a full moon tonight.”

“Yep,” Mon nodded. “So, you might want to do me a favor and hold off on putting out that rat poison for a day or two.”

“Um, you better not be coming into my field tonight.” Kara said, narrowing her eyes. 

“Oh, come on,” Mon said as he tossed his back. “Are you still not over that? It’s been months.”

“You tore my scarecrow into pieces!”

“It’s not my fault you made that thing so terrifying. I looked like it was an evil monster lurking in your fields. It thought I was doing you a favor. Believe me, I was just doing a justice to humans and crows everywhere taking that thing down.”

“I had to spend all the next day building a new one.”

Mon shrugged. “What can I say? I did a good job.”

Kara scoffed. “You got any arsenic, Winn? Apparently, my scarecrow needs some extra stuffing.”

“On second thought, you know how sorry I am about that, right?” he said playfully, wrapping his arm around her back.

His touch and pressure of his arm sent a shock of pain through her back, and Kara barely held back a yelp. Still, a small cry escaped as she cringed and twisted out of his hold instinctively, arching her back inwardly to get as quickly out of his touch as she could get. Mon’s eyes widen in alarm and he stepped back immediately. Kara’s hands grasped the counter, adding stability as well as leverage to pull herself closer to it and away from the agony of touch.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered, his playfulness from seconds earlier vanished. “I didn’t know. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Kara breathed out through her teeth, her grip still tight against the counter. “I’m fine.”

“What happened?” Mon asked, holding his hands out in apology, but Kara misinterpreted it as a comforting touch and she stepped back.

“There was an accident on the farm. I’m fine,” Kara mumbled as she made her way towards the door. “I really should get going. Winn, I’ll see if we have any wolfsbane we can send over to help you restock.”

“Thanks Kara,” Winn called back warily. “I’ll try to look more into that thing for you.”

“I’m really sorry, Kara,” Mon started again.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kara reassured him with as much of smile as she could muster while holding open the door. “Stay safe tonight. I’ll see you later.”

She pulled the door closed behind her before he could response.

\---

The full circle of the moon hung low in the sky over the Luthor Manor as a piercing howl tore through the air. But Lillian didn’t even flinch. Instead, she continued to light her candles around her alter and waved out the match when she was done. Monthly wolves such as those were of no concern to her. She already had the tooth and hair she needed from them. They already laid in her metal bowl with poppy, holly, and other ingredients she’d procured over the past month. Taking a bundle of recently dried sage from her pocket, she held it over a candle’s flickering flame, mumbling a short incantation so the flame turned a deep purple before she dropped the sage into the bowl with the others.

Now all she needed was the strongest ingredient to tie it all together: blood.

“Oh Lena,” Lillian called over her shoulder. “Be a dear and come here. Your mother needs you.”

She didn’t so much hear as much as she did feel Lena’s presence when she entered a room. The amount of hatred and darkness pouring off her aroura was enough to rival Lillian even on her good days. It only made Lillian smirk even more as she turned to see the raven-haired woman standing silently in the door. Her white skin seemed to radiate in the pale moon light that steaked through the window.

“Ah, that’s a good daughter,” Lillian said. “Coming right as I call.”

“I am not your daughter,” Lena sneered.

“Would you prefer slave, then?” Lillian asked with a mocking grin. “And here I was trying to give you a compliment.”

Lena bared her teeth. A loud hiss echoed the room, but Lillian barely blinked.

“Is that anyway to treat your owner?” Lillian stood up, cocking her finger towards her. “Now come here.”

Lena’s eyes blazed black and hands curled into fists, but her feet moved her as she was told, silently padding across the cool wooden floor. Her nails dug into her palm as her head shrunk lower as she neared the older woman, stopping once she stood in front of her by the alter.

“Oh, you must know the drill by now,” Lillian said, arching an eyebrow. “Hold out your hand.”

Whether shaking from anger, fear, or both, Lena held out her hand, desperately trying to keep her hand closed in a tight fist, but she knew the fight was futile. Lillian grabbed her wrist, holding it steady as Lena’s fingers slowly uncurled as she was told.

“That’s it,” Lillian taunted as she grabbed the black handle of the athame off the alter. Carefully, she lined the blade up with the thick white scar across the pale skin on Lena's palm. “Now be a dear and don’t make too much noise this time.”

\---

The stars didn’t send Kara a song that night. Instead, they sent her screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all - The Song of the Stars and Sea has hit over 100 kudos! That's honestly a 100 more than I thought this supernatural rambling would ever get. I'm posting a little early as thank you because y'all are amazing and wonderful and I'm truly honored that y'all've given me your time, attention, and encouragement.  
> Thank you


	5. Chapter 5

Kara rubbed her eyes as she stumbled out of her bedroom. She clutched her cloak tightly around her despite the summer sun harshly glaring through the windows. An odd chill had descended upon her since the middle of the night, and she hadn’t been able to shake her shivers or goosebumps since. She’d even pulled down her flannel sheets from her closet and wool blankets from her trunk, but nothing seemed to do the trick. And of course, this only cut into more of the little sleep she was even able to get. 

“My firs, Kara!” Eliza exclaimed as she rushed towards her adoptive daughter. “You look like you've been run over by horse.”

The dark blue bags that hung under Kara’s eyes sunk deep in her cheeks, almost making her face look bruised and her normally bright blue eyes now were now rimmed with a red haze and bloodshot with bright veins. Her blonde hair had effectively been turned into a tangled mess from tossing and turning all night, and the sweat from her sporadic hot flashes had given it a greasy shine. And of course, the thick cloak she clung tightly to was wrinkled and still reeked of the mothballs from the back of her closet. Needless to say, this wasn’t exactly Kara’s best morning. Thank goodness her family had pitied her enough to let her sleep in this morning.

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked. “She always looks like that.”

Well, pity from everyone in her family except Alex anyways.

Kara wasn’t sure if was Alex just trying to cover for Kara or if it was because Alex hadn’t gotten much sleep herself. While her short hair may have been in order and brushed, her brown bloodshot eyes carried similar dark blue bags of exhaustion underneath them as Kara’s and her hands tightly gripped a cup of what Kara assumed was green tea. If anything, it seemed like Kara’s short stents of brief sleep may have been more than Alex received herself. It looked as if she hadn’t slept all night.

“Alex be nice,” Eliza told daughter as she ushered Kara to the couch in the living room. “Now let me get you some tea. I guess that storm kept up both my girls.”

“Storm?” Kara asked.

She briefly remembered flashes of lights outside her window as she tossed and turned, but she had thought it was just the heat lighting of summer nights and nothing more. There wasn’t any thunder. None that she heard anyway. Of course, Kara hadn’t heard anything but Lena’s screams ringing in her ears. They just seemed to keep coming, each new one worse than the last. Even now, just the screech of the rusty hinge on the cupboard door set her teeth on edge as she braced herself for the pain and sound that made her skin crawl.

“Yeah,” Alex said slowly, looking dumbfounded at her sister over her mug. “You know? That freak one from last night that came out of nowhere? The heavy rain on the tin roof was deafening on top of all the thunder.”

“Oh. Yeah, that one,” Kara mumbled as she took the hot mug of tea from Eliza. “Thanks.”

“No problem, cottonwood,” Eliza replied as she brushed some of Kara’s hair off her cheek, making Kara smile slightly at the nickname. “Apparently, it did a bit of a number on the surrounding forest. Several oaks and pines fell.” Eliza’s eyes glossed over a bit and she placed a hand over her chest. She always had been a bit more in tune with the plants around them than the others in her family. Kara blamed it on her instinctively maternal nature. “I know that they were all either old or sick, but still, it wasn’t fair for them to go out like that. They didn’t even have a chance to prepare!”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked as she took a sip of her tea. 

“Trees and plants naturally prepare for upcoming inclement weather,” Alex explained in a low voice as she rubbed her forehead. “It’s just something they do naturally, but these didn’t.”

“Why?” Kara asked, hating to have everything need to be explained to her as if they were talking to a child. It was just one of the many downsides of being the only non-dryad living on a farm full of them. And they wondered why she spent so much time in town.

“It just came up from nowhere,” Eliza explained with a sad shrug. “None of them know.”

“I’m telling you it was the Luthors,” Jeremiah grumbled over his book. “A thing like that could only be magic based. And no one else has that kind of power except them.”

“But why?” Kara asked, feeling more like a broken record than anything else. “There’s no motive or purpose evidence to say so.”

“Like there’s a need for it,” Alex scoffed.

“Alex,” Kara sighed. 

“Oh, come on, Kara,” Alex snapped. “They probably just did it to watch their own destruction. They’d create a sinkhole to shallow the whole town if they could. Maybe some werewolf looked at them wrong or some fishermen didn’t hold the door open for them. They take any excuse they can get. They just want to watch the world burn!” 

Eliza flinched at Alex’s wording out of the corner of Kara’s eye before looking out the window towards Hank’s farm. Kara’s cheeked reddened as she looked down at her tea, realizing how foolish it was to try to say anything in defense of the Luthors, or Lena for that matter, without triggering unwanted memories and trauma for the rest of her family. If anything, they probably were right. No one else had anywhere near that sort of power in town. And the trees would let them know soon enough. They might have been slow when it came to getting word around, but they tended to tell the truth, especially when their fallen brethren were concerned. But of course, she’d have to wait till her family interpreted it for her, and they likely wouldn’t tell her anything they already knew. 

She ran her thumb along the rim of the mug as a silence fell across the room. It was a Sunday, a day the family all agreed was a day that they would rest rather than work as the surrounding members of their town did. And they all went about their typical activities. Jeremiah kept his nose in his book, writing notes along the margins. He found an odd joy in correcting the errors of the human specialists who wrote them. He said he’d write his own book one day, but for now, he enjoyed the private satisfaction of being the only one in the know. Eliza busied herself watering the many houseplants within the room, murmuring quiet endearments to the flowers to encourage them to show off their colorful blooms. Kara never tired of watching the plants grow and blossom before her eyes at Eliza’s praise. Typically Alex was bright eyed and full of energy, always keeping a conversation with someone, but today it seemed like she just fought to keep her head up as she rubbed her eyes with one hand while other kept a death grip on her mug of tea. 

Usually Kara found this atmosphere warm and loving, but this morning, it just felt like it was suffocating her. 

“You know, I think I’m going to head into town,” Kara announced as she stood up. 

“And do what?” Alex grumbled. “It’s Sunday. Every where’s closed.”

“I don’t know,” Kara shrugged as she set her mug of tea on the table. “Probably go see Winn or something.”

“Are you sure you’re up for it, cottonwood?” Eliza asked her, turning away from her watering. “You just look exhausted, that’s all.”

Kara flashed a smile, gripping her cloak tighter. It wasn’t so much because of the cold, but what Kara hid underneath. She was wearing one of the shirts Eliza had sewed for her in the beginning when Kara first started staying with them. Eliza made it with a low cut back so she could treat Kara’s wounds more easily. While she hadn’t worn them in years, lately Kara had found that they were one of the few things she could wear that wouldn’t cause her back discomfort. But if Eliza recognized the shirt, Kara wouldn’t be able to successfully hide her secret pain and songs from her any longer. 

“I’ll be fine, mom,” Kara assured her as she slowly backed out of the kitchen. “I promise.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Eliza replied as she turned her head towards the window. “I’d hate for another one of those storms to come up again.”

“Of course! I’ll keep my eye out for any suspicious clouds,” Kara said before turning to Alex. “Oh, and Alex, do you know if we have any extra wolfsbane? I told Winn I’d bring him some more, but when I checked last night, I didn’t see any.”

“I, um, gave it to a friend,” Alex mumbled, keeping her gaze firm on her tea as she stirred it with her spoon.

“All of it?” Kara asked confused. There had been enough to maybe hold Winn over for another month.

“Calm down,” Alex groaned, closing her eyes as if she was attempting to fight off a headache. “We can always grow more.”

“Yeah, well it better soon,” Kara chided. “We’re Winn’s only supplier.”

“Oh yeah, like we’re in danger of losing Winn as a client,” Alex grumbled. “Not as long as you’re delivering to him.”

Kara cocked her head back and narrowed her eyes. 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Kara demanded.

“What do you think?” Alex snapped as she stood up. “I’m going back to bed.”

She turned towards her bedroom, leaving her tea on the table and Kara confused. Apparently, sleep deprived Alex was worse than Kara.

\---

Kara clicked her heels into her white horse’s side and set off down the road towards town. The white horse, Comet, was the strongest horse the Danvers owned so he spent most of his time with Jeremiah in the fields, but since today was rest day, Comet was all hers. While he was technically Jeremiah’s horse, Kara still liked to call him hers as he apparently liked her best. Eliza had even said so. Of course, she also said it was because of all the carrots and apples Kara snuck him after dinner, but Kara was fine with that. It wasn’t very often any creature, plant or animal, preferred her over her dryad family. 

Comet made his way down the road at a leisurely pace because he knew that Kara wouldn’t push him to go any faster. She took her time looking at the assortment of trees along the dirt road and the birds in the cloudy sky as her horse busied himself nibbling on grass and flowers here and there along the roadside. The once blue sky turned gray rather quickly and seemed to grow darker the longer they traveled and the birds seemed to grow scarcer. When a gust of wind came that shook the trees and threw her hood back, Kara realized that a storm was certainly on its way. Whether it was naturally or magically charged like the one last night, Kara knew that her safest place was at home. And from how Comet kept pawing the ground and shaking his mane, he agreed with her.

But just as they were turning around, something else blew through the trees. A song. One of a voice so soft and foreign but carried that tone of longing Kara would know anywhere. 

Lena.

Pulling back on the reins, Kara held Comet in place as she listened. After a night of screams, this song in the day was greatly welcome. She closed her eyes as she let it wash over her, her own body relaxing as she heard the rise and fall of the cadence. When she opened her eyes, she realized that she had been leading Comet towards the source of the song. She quickly pulled back on the reins, knowing that the last thing she needed was to make an unexpected visit to the Luthor Manor especially if they had just conjured a storm the night before.

But the Luthor Manor was in the other direction. The voice wasn’t coming from there, but down the road leading towards the docks. What would Lena be doing down there, especially with an upcoming storm? Fishermen weren’t even there on a Sunday, and, from how Eliza described the storm this morning, she doubted there wouldn’t be some disarray with the ships and piers from the strong wind and waves churned by the weather.

Then those screams from last night drifted back into her mind. Those awful, blood curdling screams. While the song may mean she was okay, it still wasn’t typical. All those nights, had been exactly that: night. Never had Lena’s song come in the day like this. What if she did need help? What if she was hurt? With a look over her shoulder, Kara realized that she was alone, meaning no one could stop her. Not even Alex. 

She clicked her heels against her white horse, urging him on despite the upcoming storm at a faster trot than before. When the first rain drops fell on her face, she continued to press on at a faster pace than before. As the first of the thunder rolled in, Kara leaned forward and whispered soothing words in Comet’s ear, trying her best to keep him calm on the off chance he might rear. But he stayed focused and continued on at a gallop rather than a trot at his rider’s insistence. 

When the ocean came into view over the grass covered hill, Kara pulled Comet to a stop. The wind had picked up now and Kara had to push her blonde hair out of her face, silently cursing herself for not tying it up earlier. The first of the rain drops dotted across her face as her eyes scanned along the shore, landing on the lone figure standing at the end of the dock amidst the jagged waves of the sea. 

Despite the distance and the grey cloak tied around her so that only her wisps of her black hair were visible, Kara knew without a doubt that it was Lena Luthor. The gray color of her cloak blended with the darkening clouds and the churning waters below as she stood precariously on the edge. While her song had stopped, Kara still couldn’t help but feel the same draw to her as before. She knew she should turn back towards home now if she had any hope of beating the storm, but she stayed planted, telling herself that she just wanted to see Lena turn around first. That way she would know for certain that Lena was okay after last night. And so she could see her face again. So, she waited so she could see just that.

When Lena did turn around, Kara let out a quiet sigh as she saw that Lena appeared just the same as before. If anything, she may have been a little paler, but that was only in the face. Everything else was hidden beneath her gray cloak that Lena’s hand tightly held together as the harsh wind blew against her. But she was okay. Even her walk held the same command and grace as she stepped over the ropes and planks of wood scattered across the dock from last night storm despite its swaying from the rough waves coursing around it. Unfortunately, her head remained low, causing her cloak to obscure most of her face as she traveled down the dock. Still Kara found herself wishing that Lena would look up so that her piercing green eyes would lock on hers. 

However, it seemed as if Kara was paying more attention than Lena because when a wave rocked the dock especially hard, it knocked Lena off her balance ever so slightly. Placing her foot to steady herself, Lena didn’t realize that she had placed it within a loop of a rope that the sea had already begun to grab a hold of and drag deep into the water.

In a split second, the rope pulled taunt around Lena’s ankle, yanking her down as the current pulled away. A cry slipped through Lena’s lips, and Kara felt a shiver run down her spine as she remembers the cries of last night. Frantically, Lena’s pale hands sought out purchase in strips of rope along the sides or within the wooden planks of the dock, but her fight was futile. Her hands only returned with splinters and air. Kara’s chest tightened and her throat constricted as she watched in horror as the rope dragged Lena across the dock on her stomach and eventually within the tossing gray waves of the sea, swallowing her in mere seconds. 

Kara had already dismounted and begun running towards the beach when she saw Lena’s long black hair and desperate white fingers disappear beneath the dark wave, but Kara already knew she was too late. She was too far away. Her feet struggled and muscled burned as she attempted to find good grip within the hundreds of feet of loose sand and silt she still had to cross. Even after that, she knew that she’d still have to fight through the storm enhanced strength of the current as well. She may be stronger than the average human, but her muscles were nothing against the sea within a storm.

But still, she had to try.


	6. Chapter 6

The uneven sand triggered Kara’s knee to give, causing it to buckle and send her falling into the grainy sand. Still, the fall felt like nothing in comparison to the scars burning deep in her shoulder blades. The wind whipped her messy blonde hair over her face, but she pushed it back with one hand while her other pushed her off the ground as she frantically continued her pursuit towards the one place in the rushing waves that she last saw Lena. What had she been thinking dramatically dismounting her horse earlier? She was getting nowhere fast on foot. She damned her pathetic impulsiveness with a swear she rarely uttered as she staggered awkwardly through the sand at an almost running pace. The rain came down heavier now, wetting her face to the point where Kara couldn’t tell her tears from the precipitation. A clap of thunder sounded overhead, but she didn’t care. She’d risk a lightning strike if it meant saving this raven haired Luthor.

In a split second, Kara decided to go for diving off the dock rather than attempting to wade through the rough gray waves pounding against the shores. Of course, she failed to consider how unsteady the dock would be floating along those rough gray waves. She gasped aloud when a large wave hit the dock, drenching her in ice cold water. It may have been summer, but the ocean never relinquished its hold on the cold here. Her teeth chattered, but she pushed through, hoping that maybe this cold would cool the fire eruppting on her back.

Unfortunately, the ungraceful, rough rocking of the dock made Kara’s attempted dive more of a flop into the water. A flop she quickly surfaced from in a needy gasp for air. The water was much, much colder than it had been when the wave had splashed her before. It felt as if it were merely one degree or two above freezing. Her arms flailed until she grabbed another rope hanging from the dock, and she took a breath to steady herself. She could barely hear the howling wind and crashing waves over the pounding of her heart and chattering of her teeth. But it only took her a second to gather her strength and courage to dive back down into the water, submerging herself completely in the cold current.

Kara opened her eyes, but she couldn’t see anything but shades of gray and black. Little flecks of white swirled in front of her as she blinked frantically. The salt stung and she could barely keep her eyes open, but she had to. It wasn’t as if Lena could guide her with a song now. Throwing her arms out in front of her, Kara kicked hard with her legs, doing her best to guide her in whatever direction she hoped Lena could be in. But her lungs burned and her cheeks puffed with arm she couldn’t exhale. Already, fighting the strong pull of the current was proving much more than she could handle. After a few more moments, her legs began to kick up, needing to surface from the frigid water.

She gasped loudly when the warmer air above scorched through the numbness that had become her lungs. The wind blew hard, plastering Kara’s wet blonde hair to her face so she couldn’t see any better than when she was underwater. Her blue eyes now rimmed with bright red as she desperately tried to blink the salt out of them in the few seconds she had before she dove her head back under once again. 

This time, luck seemed to be on her side as her hand wrapped around what felt like a thick rope. Since it lacked the barnacles and bumps of the ropes she normally saw submerged in the ocean by the dock, Kara hoped and prayed that this was the one holding Lena. Guessing blindly, Kara followed the length of the rope towards the dock, hoping that maybe the ocean hadn’t pulled Lena too far in. 

And she was right. Her heart leapt in her throat when she saw the darker gray figure outlined in the water as she swam closer. Lena’s normally straight dark hair floated around her in a disarray in long tendrils, fanning out from her face, outlining the pale skin of her face, her eyelids closed, blocking those green eyes Kara still craved to lock her gaze with. Her gray cloak still remained tied around her neck but billowed behind her as the current attempted to pull her deeper but failed as her ankle still remained tangled in the rope. Her face lacked the hard lines and edges that she normally armed herself with. She looked almost peaceful as if she had finally found rest after a long time. 

Maybe that’s what death does to a Luthor; frees them from the pain they constantly cause themselves and others. Or sent them to their fate of eternal pain. And that’s where Lena was now. All because Kara had failed. 

Kara couldn’t tell if she was breathing. She knew that she had taken too long to get to her. Already, Kara’s own lungs had given out on her, and it wasn’t like the run to the shore alone didn’t take ten minutes. Lena had probably just accidently found herself in an early, watery grave. And there wasn’t anything Kara could do about it. The stars wouldn’t be sending her any more songs. She had failed. She had risked her life just to return with a body. But still, Kara couldn’t bear to leave her. Not like this. 

Kara did her best to bottle down her emotions threatening to overtake her as she swam down to Lena’s ankle and the rope still tangled there. Kara gripped the rope tightly in her hands, doing her best to use whatever enhanced strength and passion she had to her advantage. Her shoulder blades burned with pain and her lungs threatened to burst if she didn’t fill them with air soon, but Kara kept at it, pushing and pulling on the rope until the knot loosen enough for Kara to gently pry the pale ankle it held captive free. Swimming up, Kara went to grab one of the limp arms of the raven-haired beauty, her gaze flicking to look at Lena’s lifeless face.

Except when she looked, she saw those piercing green eyes she craved so much staring right back at her.

Kara gasped. The water she had been fighting to keep back flooded into her mouth and lungs all at once. She tried to cough, but that only seemed to make it worse. Her eyes closed and back curved in on her, her hands coming to her throat as she tried desperately to relieve the intense fire that the frigid water raged inside her. A different darkness than the one behind her closed eyes fell upon her. A numbness began to spread from her extremities and up that wasn’t from the cold. She felt light headed, and Kara was sure that the once pounding heart beat had begun to slow.

If it weren’t for the hand that came to grip her collar and pulled her upwards, Kara was sure she would have drowned in that sea. 

The hand didn’t let go either until Kara was crawling across the sandy beach, choking up the salt water from her mouth and lungs and retching up the bile from her nose and throat. Her muscles ached from the swimming, her head felt as if it were going to split in to, and all Kara wanted was just a glass of fresh water. Goosebumps rippled across her skin, and she soon fought back a convulsion of shivers as the wind blew hard against her as she stood on her quivering hands and knees.

“Can you walk?” a voice shouted in her ear.

Kara knew that voice. Lena? It wasn’t possible. But when Kara looked up, she saw the pale faced, black haired Luthor standing tall right in front of her. Yes, she was drenched, but she was there, honestly looking better than she had before she had been dragged and swallowed by the raging waves. 

How was that possible?

“Can you walk?” Lena repeated, impatience coloring her voice now.

Kara nodded slowly, unsure if her voice would work with her throat this thick and coarse from the salty sea she had swallowed then coughed back up. She swallowed her spit in hopes it would relieve the dryness, but only flinched as the raw flesh of her esophagus rubbed together. Her chest ached as she took a ragged breath to steady herself, and she became acutely aware of just where exactly her lungs were as they heaved through another round of breathing.

“Then get up,” Lena snapped.

Irritation flared through Kara. They both should be dead. Both of them should have drowned. Couldn’t they just take a couple of minutes and appreciate that? Or at least long enough for Kara’s arms to stop shaking or her heart to slow. But despite this, Kara pushed up on her shaking arms so she could stand on her quivering legs. And it wasn’t until she was standing did she understand Lena’s urgency.

The dark swirling clouds above had begun throwing fat raindrops at a faster pace and casting bright lightening within a closer proximity. The wind whipped the trees in the distant, stripping leaves and branches off them with ease. If Kara’s own cloak hadn’t been weighed down with water, it would have been surely blown off her. Behind her, the sea crashed at an even more alarming rate, engulfing the dock with each pass of the silvery black waves. Kara may be stronger than most, but not even she could have escaped that. How had Lena? Especially with the added dead weight of Kara dragging her down.

“Get your horse!” Lena yelled over her shoulder as she set off for her own black stallion tied to the fence post up on top of the hill and pointed to the structure of peeling paint next to it. “And head for that barn!”

Kara’s eyes widened as she suddenly remembered the horse she abandoned and quickly set off towards the crest of grass above the beach. Her first few steps were shaky, her legs nearly buckling on the loose sand, but she gritted her teeth and pressed on. She may have survived a drowning, but Kara knew she wouldn’t survive the wrath of a dryad if anything happened to their strongest horse.

“Comet!” Kara attempted to shout, but her voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

Thankfully, her white horse had been easy to spot as it cowered beneath a pine tree. Kara couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes as she rushed towards her favorite horse. Instantly, guilt washed over her as she saw just how petrified he was, and she did her best to mumble soothing words to it and stroke his head. How he hadn’t been spooked and run off was a miracle in itself.

“We have to go, buddy,” she whispered to him even though she knew he couldn't understand her like he could with the other Danvers. She took his reins in her hands and pulled lightly, but with urgency. “It’s not safe here.”

Slowly, Comet followed her into the sheets of rain that had begun to fall. For a brief moment, Kara considered mounting him in order to get to the empty barn faster, but when a bright bolt of white lightning arched across the sky, it looked as if Comet might rear. Doing her best to calm him down, Kara led her horse at a much faster pace towards the barn, praying all the while that her feet wouldn’t slip on the slick mud. 

Thunder clapped across beach and hills just as Kara led Comet into the open door of the barn. Pushing the heavy wooden door closed behind her, Kara turned back to her horse and continued to stroke his white fur until his tail lowered and nostrils ceased flaring. It was a small barn and it looked mostly as if it had been used for storage from the amount of rusty farm tools and bales of hay within. The rain pounded across the tin roof and musky smell tickled Kara’s nose, but from living on a farm, Kara was quickly able to tune them out. 

When Comet seemed calm enough, Kara pulled her soaking hair to one side, wringing it out into a puddle on the dirt ground in front of her. She was about to take off her wet cloak when she heard the clearing of someone’s throat behind her. It wasn’t until then that Kara realized she was stuck in a barn alone with no one but two horses and Lena Luthor.

“Well,” Lena said, causing Kara to have no choice but to turn towards her.

Gone now was the peaceful Lena she had seen underwater. The lines and edges had come back in a full force as her pale skin seemed starker than before. Her dark wet hair had seemingly been raked back with her fingers into a smooth, but somewhat unruly style so none hung over face except for a few stray black curls. The ocean water had given her hair a wave that Kara couldn’t help but envy. Her gray cloak now laid across a bale of hay to dry, and her wet cloths clung tightly to her skin and figure as her arms laid cross against her chest while it felt as if Kara’s own clothing hung unattractively off her. And those piercing green eyes Kara had longed for now pierced into her very soul.

“What?” Kara accidently whispered. She swiftly cleared her throat, unsure if her whisper was the result of the salt water or Lena’s gaze.

“Well, I believe a thank you is in order,” Lena curtly replied.

“A thank you?” Kara echoed, her eyebrows furrowing.

Lena scoffed and threw her wet hair over her shoulder. “Well, I did save your life, after all.”

“Save my life?” Kara repeated before taking a step forward as a wave of frustration surged. “I was trying to save yours!”

“Oh, was that what you were trying to do? Tell me, was that before or after you attempted to drink all the salt water in the ocean.”

“You- you,” Kara struggled for words as her anger surfaced. “You would have drowned if I didn’t untangle you from that rope!”

“I would have been fine!” Lena snapped.

For a split second, Kara could have sworn she saw Lena’s eyes flash black, but their green color returned before she blinked. Suddenly, all the impossible elements of the past few minutes flooded back to her and stopped Kara's anger in its tracks.

“What are you?” Kara whispered as her eyes darted around Lena’s face as she studied it. 

The question took Lena off guard, her face falling briefly before she stoned it again. Kara saw her throat bob as she swallowed slightly. 

“What are you talking about?” Lena attempted to sneer, her hands curling into fists within her crossed arms.

“In the water,” Kara explained slowly as she attempted to piece the puzzle together in her mind. “You were under too long. You should have drowned long before I got to you.”

“Haven’t you ever seen someone cast a spell?” Lena retorted as she took a small step back.

“I have actually,” Kara replied. She had watched Winn cast spells several times, and they required incantations, hand movements, ingredients, a calm state of mind – none of which Lena had displayed as the rope pulled her down off the dock. “And you never cast one.”

Lena took another step back as Kara took a step forward. A tendon in her neck twitched as her eyebrows raised ever so slightly. She was starting to look more like a cornered prey than the Luthor predator she was. Or maybe wasn’t at all.

“You’re not a witch, are you?” Kara said, her own blue eyes locking with Lena’s green.

Lena’s gaze fell to the ground, and Kara saw the fingers of one hand digging into her arm.

“Are you a nymph?” Kara asked.

Lena huffed, her fierce eyes flashing as she lifted them back up to Kara’s.

“Not everyone’s a spirit, farm girl,” Lena replied tersely.

“I’m not—” Kara stopped herself just in time. Lena may have been caught in her lie, but Kara could still keep hers. She rolled her shoulder as she looked away, realizing once again the pain had stopped when she was talking with Lena. Did that have something to do with what she was? Her mind reeled as desperately tried to think of another water based creature. “Are you a mermaid, then?” 

Lena scoffed loudly this time.

“Don’t compare me to those _fish_ ,” Lena spat out the last word, her teeth flashing and eyes hardening. Clearly, Kara had only offended her more. In that moment, she might have believed it if Lena had simply told her she was actually a Luthor witch purely from the distain her face.

“Then what are you?” Kara asked, taking another step forward, her palm out to show she hadn’t meant any harm.

Lena’s gaze once again dropped to the floor before turning towards the dusty window in the corner. Sighing softly to herself, Lena moved towards it, her expression softening from the hard mask of anger and darkness she constantly held. Kara watched her, noticing that the window provided the perfect view to the churning sea outside through the storm. It almost looked as if this soaking wet, raven-haired beauty was on the verge of tears. Kara raised her hand instinctively to comfort her, but soon caught it and let it fall.

“I am, or at least I _was_ ,” Lena mumbled, her voice shaking ever so slightly before she took a deep breath. “A selkie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I considered cutting off that last sentence for the next chapter, but I figured I'd be nice and at least provide one answer to this mess I'm creating.  
> Once again, thank you so much for your kind words and time


	7. Chapter 7

“A selkie?” Kara gasped. “That’s… um… unexpected.”

Lena’s nostrils flared, her nails digging deeper into the pale skin of her palm.

“What did you expect, then?” Lena snapped, her white teeth baring ever so slightly. “Don’t tell me I play the witch role that well.”

“No, it’s not that, uh,” Kara quickly stammered, waving her hands open out in front of her. She didn’t know how to explain it. Her gut just seemed to know that Lena hadn’t belonged. Much like herself. Although she couldn’t help but feel a bit of her stomach fall upon hearing she wasn’t a half breed or bastard like herself as the rumors suggested. “Um, what do you mean ‘was’?” Kara asked in an attempt to change the subject ever so slightly.

Lena exhaled sharply through her nose as she slowly pulled her head away from the dusty barn window.

“A selkie is nothing without her seal skin,” Lena whispered, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

“Oh,” Kara exhaled, looking down at the barn’s dirt floor.

She didn’t know much about selkies other than they preferred the ocean and only conversing with those who lived within it. The odds of her ever actually encountering one were pretty slim even if she did live close to the shore. The Danvers certainly hadn't ever mentioned stumbling across one. Some said that they were benevolent creatures, friends of all sea creatures and were often seen helping those stranded after shipwrecks. But others claimed that they were the ones that triggered the storms or pushed the ice out in front of ships in hopes of sinking them so they could pull the sailors down to a watery grave. Regardless, sailors learned to be wary of any seal they saw while on open ocean as one rarely survived a selkie’s wrath. Kara had always thought they were almost synonymous with mermaids but without the scales; however, given Lena’s reaction to the earlier insinuation, she strongly doubted Lena would be inclined to agree.

“Lillian?” Kara guessed in a whisper, raising her head slightly.

A harsh hiss rang out through the old, dank barn, higher in volume and pitch than the cacophony of heavy rain pounding against the tin roof over head. The fine hairs on the back of Kara’s neck stood on edge and a sting shot through her back, down her spine. When Kara raised her head to identify the source, she saw Lena gritting her teeth with her now black eyes locked on the storm outside once again, her hands curled into tense fists by her side.

“What other bitch is there?” Lena growled. A bolt of lightning flashed outside, punctuating her claim as if it was planned, but Lena’s sneer only grew.

Despite Lena’s fierce appearance, Kara couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang of sympathy for her. This might have been the first selkie she ever encountered and she didn’t have much more than a foggy notion of them, but she knew what it was like to lose significant part of oneself. A part that one shouldn’t ever have to worry about losing. And how much worse it was when it was taken. Her scars along her shoulder blades displayed the grim reminder. 

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered.

Lena’s head whipped away from the window and back towards Kara, her now green eyes narrowing ever so slightly as she studied the still drenched blonde in front of her.

“Why?” Lena asked, her voice sharp. “You didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“It’s just…” Kara rubbed her hand along the back her neck, barely resisting the urge to try and touch her now itching shoulder blades. “I know what it’s like to lose a crucial part of you like that.”

Lena snorted.

“What?” Lena’s sneering voice sounded like ice. “Someone cut down your favorite tree, farm girl?”

Kara winced, her back arching a bit as her head bent forward. Her hand clamped down on her neck while her other arm wrapped around her stomach, clasping herself there. While her back wasn’t hurting like it had been the past few days, a flash of pain tore through her, her eyes closing as she braced against it. 

Witnessing this, the sneer on Lena’s face dropped, her sea green eyes now filling with concern rather distain. She took a small step forward, but then stopped, her hands dropping by her side as her head hung low in shame.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized in a soft voice barely heard over a clap of thunder outside, her arms crossing in front of her in more of a way to cradle herself rather than a way to act standoffish. The hard mask of anger and hate dropped for a moment and Kara saw just how damaged this young woman was.

“It’s okay,” Kara mumbled as she slowly opened her eyes as the pain subsided. 

“I guess she isn’t the only wicked bitch in town,” Lena sighed as she sat down on a bale of hay by the window, her fingers moving to comb through her wet raven hair. “And thank you.” She added slowly.” For what you did. I don’t know many people who would jump into a stormy ocean to save a stranger. In fact, I don’t think I know any.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kara said as she gave a small smile. “And thank you for pulling me out.”

Lena smirked. 

“Still, it was pretty idiotic,” Lena said as she flipped her long hair over to one side of her shoulder. “I hope you don’t throw yourself into a raging rip current on a regular basis especially if you don’t have someone to pull you out. Unless you have a death wish that is.”

Kara laughed softly. 

“No, I can’t say that I do,” Kara replied before a gust of wind blew, sending a shiver through her.

“It would help if you took that off, you know,” Lena suggested, nodding towards the soaking cloak hanging from Kara’s figure.

Instantly, Kara’s hand tightened on her cloak, her fingers feeling a gush of water run down them as they closed into fists around the soaking material. She still had on her shirt with the low cut back underneath. Not only would that alone raise Lena’s suspicion, but the added scars made herself only more damned. Right now, she could live with the cold and possible illness if that meant Lena never saw the ugly, red, disfigurement. The less people who knew, the better even if they did save her life.

“No,” Kara said too quickly. “I’m fine.”

Lena arched an eyebrow, but pushed no further. Instead, she turned her attention towards her nails, picking the sand and brine from the recent events out of them. Kara’s eyes followed the movement, noticing the stained bandage wrapped around Lena’s hand. Her feet moved to take a step forward as her fingers tingled as if by instinct to want to heal whatever injury had fallen upon this woman. While her powers were extremely limited to mostly just small cuts, scrapes, and the occasional bruise, she still wanted to try. Anything to help this selkie beauty before her. 

Kara stopped in her tracks. What was she thinking? She had only known Lena for a few days and they had had barely two conversations. Already she had almost died for her, and now she wanted to expose herself like this? Alex was right. She was a Luthor. She couldn’t be trusted even if Kara now knew her big secret. Who was to say that she didn’t have countless more? For all she knew, a selkie could be the same as siren. Why else had she been hearing her calls at night? Maybe this was all part of some nefarious plot. 

But then again, why would a siren’s call work on her? She wasn’t a sailor. And why did her heart disagree with everything her mind thought? Lena may carry the Luthor name, but she wasn’t one of them. 

“Is everything alright?” Lena asked, snapping Kara out of her daze.

Kara’s blue eyes quickly flicked upwards, locking eyes with Lena’s green stare seeing a hint of concern in them. Her mouth suddenly felt dry. 

“Um, yeah,” Kara swallowed. “What happened to your hand?”

Lena’s gaze fell to her bandaged hand, her other hand quickly covering it as she folded them in her lap. For a brief moment, Kara thought she saw red lines along the inside of her pale fingers, but Lena closed her fists, blocking any additional view from Kara’s prying eyes.

“It’s nothing,” Lena mumbled. “Just one of the costs of living with the Luthors.”

And Kara’s heart broke. 

It was in that moment that Kara realized just how lucky she was to be living with the Danvers. A family that loved her despite her differences and never demanded any sort of cost. Kara always thought that was something everyone deserved and barely thought otherwise. Perhaps now she was finally understood the pain and longing in Lena’s songs at night.

“You know, you could come back with me,” Kara offered, gesturing to her horse that was now rooting through several canvas bags in the corner mostly likely in search of oats. “You don’t even have to stay with us. We can just give you food and supplies that you’ll need on the road. No one will have to know.”

“If only it were that simple,” Lena sighed, her head turning back towards the window. “As long as she has my skin, I am bound to her.” Her gaze falling back towards her hands. “Whether I like it or not.”

“Oh,” Kara mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

Lena exhaled sharply, a small smile playing on her light pink lips.

“You really must stop apologizing for what is not your fault,” Lena said. 

“Oh, sorry,” Kara mumbled again, blushing when she realized her words. “I guess I just say it a lot.”

The raven-haired woman shook her head, giving a small chuckle as she did – a noise that Kara soon found herself craving to hear again.

“We all have our bad habits, I suppose,” Lena replied, her smile slightly larger. “Although, yours could be much worse.”

“What? Like diving into the ocean during a storm?” Kara joked in hopes to hear that soft bit of laughter again.

And she did.

“You called that a dive?” Lena arched her dark eyebrow. “It looked a bit more like a fall to me.”

“Well, it isn’t exactly easy to be graceful when the dock is moving every which way but the right one,” Kara replied with a fake annoyance in her tone.

The barn momentarily filled with their laughter. As it died, they realized that they could no longer hear the pounding rain against the tin roof, and they both turned towards the window. Now, only a light drizzle fell, and while the sea’s rage had dimmed significantly, the waves still appeared slightly bigger than normal. Out of the corner of her eyes, Kara saw the brief moment of joy on Lena’s face from before fall and be replaced with the stone-cold mask she’d come to learn to wear with the Luthor’s. The weak selkie victim reality dropped in favor for the powerful Luthor witch bravado.

And Kara’s heart broke again for the second time within minutes.

“I really must be going,” Lena said as she turned away from the window to grab her still wet gray cloak hanging from the hay bale. 

“Wait,” Kara said, reaching her hand out as she resisted the urged to touch her. “What if the storm comes back? I mean, that last one came from out of nowhere.”

“I think I can handle a bit of rain, thank you,” Lena retorted briskly as she pulled her black horse towards the barn door, pausing to push it open.

“But…” Kara was at a loss for words as she struggled to comprehend the rapid change in the Luthor’s tone and emotions.

Lena pulled herself up on the saddle with the same grace and poise she always carried even when she was weighed down by wet clothes. This time, she didn’t pull her hood up as she did outside the tavern so Kara felt the full force of her piercing green gaze lock with her blue ones.

“Thank you,” the raven-haired woman mumbled, and Kara had a feeling it wasn’t for pulling her free of the ropes. 

She watched as Lena clicked her black heeled boots into the sides of her black horse, pulling them away both from the beach and barn where the blonde and her horse remained. And once again, Kara was at a loss for words as she watched the pale skinned beauty disappear on the horizon as she descended one of the hills.

Kara sighed, tugging her gaze away from the spot she last saw her and back towards her white horse who was now munching on some of the hay packed tightly within the bales. She couldn’t help but laugh lightly when Comet looked up at her with straw hanging out of the corners of his mouth. He acted like the Danvers never fed him. It was a miracle in itself that Kara didn’t have to constantly add new holes to her saddle straps. But that was just one of the many reasons why Kara loved him all the more. 

“Alright, boy,” she said as she approached him, stroking his nose and white fur above it. “Let’s go home. After what I’ve put you through this afternoon, I think I owe you a couple extra treats.”

She laughed again as Comet’s ears perked up at the last word. Maybe he understood her better than she thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Despite Kara returning home drenched in the water and stench of the sea, she was surprisingly not the Danvers that got sick that day. After Kara fumbled her way through an excuse of how the sudden storm brought a surging wave that hit her while she walked across the beach, most everyone turned their attention back to Alex who had spent the day in her room coughing and groaning with symptoms worsening as the hours drew on, even vomiting in the sink as evening came near. A pang of guilt shot through Kara as she recalled how she had acted towards her sister earlier that morning when she clearly hadn’t been feeling well then either. When Alex closed the door to her room that night, Kara didn’t pursue, praying that all her sister needed was a good night’s rest for things to return to normal.

But when Kara left her room the next morning to not find Alex busying herself in the kitchen, she knew that that would not be the case. On her own, she started a small fire in the oven and placed a metal kettle full of water over it before she riffled through the cabinets looking for some sort of herb to add to the tea that would soothe whatever ailed her sister. While she could recall the names of some and recognized the other dried herbs hanging in the pantry, Kara couldn’t quite remember which one soothed a sore throat, which lowered a fever, or which helped with nausea. 

“Why don’t they just label the darn things,” Kara mumbled aloud as she fumbled her way through them.

When the kettle whistled, Kara moved the kettle more forcefully than she meant to, denting the handle slightly, upset and frustrated that she wasn’t the dryad those around her were. Sighing to herself, Kara settled on chamomile tea, deciding that perhaps they both were plagued with untreated stress.

“Alex?” Kara called as she softly knocked. When a groaned answered, Kara pushed the door open to find her sister twisted in the sheets, her eyes hooded and a glistening sheen of sweet swathed along her face. “I brought you some tea.”

Alex groaned again and rolled over. Kara walked forward, placing the mug of tea on the bedside table.

“It’s chamomile… I think,” Kara said, still not entirely sure she grabbed the right herb. They looked so much like daisies. And of course, since they were in the same family, the Danvers kept them right beside one another.

Alex responded with a stream of rough coughs so heavy that it racked her body, curling her into a ball as her hands covered her face and stomach. Kara’s own instincts took over in that moment and she began patting her sisters back and mumbling soothing nothings until the coughs subsided. Calmly encouraging Alex to roll over to face her, Kara knelt down by her bedside to study the brunette’s face. Gingerly, Kara wiped the damp brown hair off her sister’s face and brushed it back behind her ear. Alex relaxed and closed her eyes at her sister’s cool touch. Unsure whether the redness in her face had come from the coughs or a fever, Kara placed the back of her hand along Alex’s forehead. The mug of steaming hot tea she had just been holding felt cooler than this. 

“Alex, you’re burning up,” Kara said, her brow wrinkling in concern. “I think I need to go get Eliza.”

“No wait,” Alex whispered hoarsely, grasping Kara’s hand in her clammy one. “Your hand feels nice.”

Kara sighed, soothing her hands across Alex’s face and hair before placing a swift, loving kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Kara told her as she stood up slowly.

While Eliza hadn’t quite woken up yet when Kara knocked on her door, she quickly moved to her daughter’s room upon hearing Kara’s concern to tend to her daughter. It turns out that Kara had indeed made chamomile tea, but it wouldn’t have done much good in Alex’s case. Lavender would have helped sooth her headache. Ginger would have treated her nausea. Broadleaf would have relieved her muscle aches. But still, the herbs could only do so much anyway.

Eliza wanted Alex to take her tree form.

Even though Alex seemed to be a bit out of it in the beginning, she adamantly protested about turning to her tree form in the middle of summer. Winter was one thing when it was simpler to go dormant than suffer through the ice and cold of the weather. She’d have to worry about lightning strikes and squirrel infestations now; all things that Eliza insisted were nothing to worry about. The tree form would help conserve her energy— energy her body could spend in trying to heal herself. She would be back to her healthy self in a shorter period of time.

Eventually, Eliza wore Alex down, convincing her that she needed to shift now before her fever and stomach pains possibly worsen. It may have only seemed like a bug, but it had accelerated suddenly. Stumbling out of bed and leaving the hot chamomile tea untouched, Alex made her way out of the house to the forest out back, clutching her cloak tightly as Eliza led her with an arm wrapped around her daughter's shoulder. 

Kara followed, wringing her hands along the way as she was unsure what exactly she should be doing. A dryad shifting into their tree form was a rather private and sacred act. It was one of the times when they were most vulnerable. Other than fellow dryads, an outsider very rarely witnessed this, but Kara wasn’t just any outsider, right? Yes, she wasn’t a dryad, but she was still a Danvers. Well, not by blood, but they still treated her like one. And she didn’t want Alex to think she didn’t care, especially after the small fight they had had before. Still she kept her distance by a few steps so she didn’t intrude on the soft, kind words Eliza mumbled to her true dryad daughter as the two of them walked together.

When they found themselves on the edge of the woods at the end of their fields, Eliza began to help Alex out of her cloak. Kara adverted her eyes as Alex further disrobed and handed her clothes to her mother. Then, Kara heard a small gasp and a whistling wind right before a long crack, almost like a large branch snapping, followed by silence. Lifting her head slowly, Kara saw the tall trunk of red bark in front of her as a gust of wind blew the cedar smell towards her. The redolent scent struck a chord with her as the memories of watching the Danvers turn into their tree form as a harsh winter set in, each taking shifts so Kara was never left alone, but it only made her feel more like a burden than loved in the dark, cold season. 

“Would you mind helping me around the house today?” Eliza asked as she turned away from her now red cedar tree daughter towards her adopted angel half breed.

“Yeah,” Kara mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck, slightly relieved she wouldn’t have to ride into town on her own today. “I can do that.”

\---

By the next day, Kara woke up to find that her beloved sister was still a cedar, meaning that Kara would have to make the deliveries on her own that day. After all, they couldn’t exactly tell their clients that their produce would be late because their head deliverer had dug roots into the ground and sprouted leaves. Kara found herself desperately wishing that she could do the same as she loaded the crates into the carts. She led the horses at a slower pace than Alex, carefully avoiding potholes and doing her best to scrounge up the courage and resolve to face their clients like Cat Grant who would no doubt try to take advantage of the situation by insisting on a lower price. And without Alex to back her up, Kara might just give it to her. She wasn’t a dryad. How was she supposed to know what to do?

But somehow, she managed to get by. She found the words to refuse and even withstood the notorious Cat Grant stare. Of course, Kara almost didn’t hear her accept the regular price due to the loud pounding of her pulse in her ears and she stumbled a bit on the way back to the cart. But still, a victory is a victory. A victory Kara won on her own and it only boosted her confidence all the more.

And by the last delivery, Kara felt almost the same as she would on any normal delivery with Alex. All the deliveries were on time and all the payments were in order. Maybe she didn’t need to be a dryad to do this after all even if she was alone. She jumped down from the cart and carried the last crate of red apples to Jess’s Tavern. Her smile brightened when she saw Jess wiping a rag along the counter, ready and waiting for Kara with the payment in her hand. 

As Kara looked up from counting the coins in her hand, her eyes caught sight of the raven-haired woman sitting in the very same spot Kara had saw her last and even reading what looked like the same leather bound book as before. And just like last time, Kara’s heart skipped a beat and then took off in a sprint. Her mouth suddenly went dry and the same pull in her chest ached within her, practically begging that she talk to this green-eyed beauty again. And after all that had happened, maybe this time would go better than the last.

Taking a breath to calm herself, she made her way over to the end of the bar.

“Hi,” Kara greeted, her voice a bit higher pitched than she had intended leading her to attempt to discretely clear her throat with a cough immediately after, but feared that it only made it worse.

Lena’s green eyes flicked up from her book, Kara’s heart skipped another beat when she saw a glint of delight rather than annoyance in them.

“Hi,” Lena replied, holding her finger on the page as she closed her book.

“Um, how are you?” Kara asked, her hands fidgeting with the recent payment in her hands.

“I feel like I should be asking you that,” Lena said as she arched a thin, black eyebrow. “You were the one that almost drowned the other day if I recalled.”

“Oh yeah,” Kara chuckled nervously as she rubbed the back of her neck. “I guess I forgot about that part.”

“I do hope that’s not because it’s a regular occurrence,” Lena replied, a slight smile playing on her lips. “I don’t think I have the time to pull you out again. And it wasn’t as if the current or your dead weight made it any easier.”

“I’ll try to avoid it,” Kara replied, a smile of her own spreading wider on her lips. “Thanks again by the way. How’s your ankle?”

“It’s just a bit bruised,” Lena shrugged slightly, her hand brushing it off with a wave. “I’ve had worse.”

Kara’s eyes lingered on the nasty red line jutting out against the pale skin of her palm and her heart tightened, her smile falling. Lena’s gaze followed Kara’s and she quickly fisted her hand, hiding it beneath her leather book, and Kara took it as a sign not to bring it up. She had already somehow managed to ruin their brief moment of teasing without saying a word.

“So, you never did tell me what book you’re reading,” Kara smiled, pointing to the leather-bound book in Lena’s hands. “Oh, sorry. I mean, play.”

The corner of Lena’s lip curved up, her green eyes falling back on her well-loved, well-worn, well-read leather book.

“Hamlet,” she said. “It’s one of my favorites of Shakespeare.”

“Who?” Kara asked, her mind racing in an attempt to recall the name.

“William Shakespeare,” Lena repeated slowly, her brow furrowing ever so slightly. “The famous writers. He’s written dozens of plays and sonnets.” 

“I’m sorry,” Kara mumbled, her hand back to rubbing the back of her neck. “I don’t think I’ve ever read anything of his.”

“Well, I insist you do. You really are missing out on a real treat.” Lena assured her as she stood up.

“Wait, where are you going?” Kara asked.

“I have a few errands to run and I do believe that I’ve already stayed to long already,” Lena gave a brief smile as she started her way towards the door. “It was nice seeing you again, farm girl. Oh, and do stay away from docks, will you?”

A deep blush spread over her cheeks and neck as Kara struggled to remember how to make her legs work so she could follow the raven-haired woman as she sauntered out the door. She made her way out the door just in time to see Lena in her gray cloak trotting away on her black horse. With Alex not here to stop her, Kara watched as the Luthor disappeared over the hills.

“Hey, you’re the Danvers’s delivery girl, right?”

Snapped out of her gaze, Kara whipped her head around to see tan skinned woman with black curls standing beside her cart. One hand rested on her hip while the other hung down, giving the girl a casual but confident look, but her brown eyes glinted with a light that Kara couldn’t quite place, but felt at ease by nonetheless. In a way, Kara felt as if she already knew her.

“Yes, I’m Kara Danvers,” Kara replied, smiling kindly. “Can I help you?”

“I was just wondering where Alex was today,” the woman said, her eyes darting to the cart and back to Kara. “She does normally deliver with you, right?” While she made it a question, she said it more like a fact.

“Oh, yeah, she does,” Kara explained. “She just felt a bit… under the weather this morning.”

“Oh no,” the woman’s face and tone dropped. “I hope it’s nothing serious.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Kara assured her. “I’m sure she’ll be back on her feet soon. She just always goes a bit over the top when she’s not feeling well.” She couldn’t help but smile before she added, “I guess you could say that her bark is much worse than her bite.”

The woman’s brow furrowed as she took a small step back and Kara was suddenly worried she had offended her.

“Did she tell you about…” the woman’s voice trailed off when she saw the blank stare on Kara’s face and she just shook her head. “Never mind. Just tell her I said hey and that I hope she feels better soon.”

“Will do!” Kara promised brightly as she began to approach her cart before turning back towards the dark-haired woman as she walked away. “Oh wait, I never got your name!”

The woman spun on her heel, flashing a bright white smile to the blonde.

“It’s Maggie.”

\---

“Kara!” Winn greeted. “Come to replenish my stock of wolfsbane?”

Kara smiled as she approached his counter, careful to avoid any of the new arrivals strewn across the aisles. There were times when his little apothecary shop felt more like a junk yard with all the little bits of metal and gears Winn collected. If he wasn’t experimenting with potions or reading from his library, he was tinkering with something. 

“Not yet,” Kara said. “We’re still growing some, but I think we’ll have them by next week. I’m really sorry about not getting it to you sooner.”

“It’s not like I’ll be needing it for a couple weeks anyway,” Winn shrugged before raising an eyebrow with a coy smile. “So, is this a social call then?”

“Actually, I was hoping I could ask you for something.”

“It’s not for my lunch, is it? Cause a man’s only got so much bread and butter.”

“No, no, no,” Kara explained, doing her best to push down the sudden burst of craving from her stomach and taste buds. “I was actually hoping you had a book I could borrow. Well, it’s actually a play. I think it’s called Hamlet.”

\---

Fortunately, Winn had an entire collection of Shakespeare work, but unfortunately, it was all contained in one volume book. Kara did her best to hide it in her cloak, but a book that thick wasn’t easily hid for long. After putting the cart away in the barn and the horses into the pasture, Kara scrambled into her room, shutting the door behind her. The proud feeling her chest fell when a knock came from her door. 

“One second!” Kara called out, hastily throwing her blanket over the book and spinning around just in the nick of time to see Eliza peeking her head through the open door. 

“Hey cottonwood,” Eliza said. “I just wanted to check and see how things went today with the deliveries.”

“Great!” Kara said louder than she meant. “I mean, everything’s delivered and everyone’s paid. It all went like normal.” She finished with a smile too large for her face.

“You just got back a bit later than usual, that’s all,” Eliza explained.

“Oh yeah, that,” Kara said, wondering if she should tell a lie but decided on the ambiguous truth instead. “I just went by to see Winn a bit.”

“How’s he doing?” she asked. 

“Fine. I mean, Winn’s Winn,” Kara brushed off with a shrug. “Same old same old with him.”

“Right,” Eliza nodded, but her tone sounded as if she knew something was up. “Could you do me a favor and check on Alex? Oh, and harvest the okra in the garden as well. I was thinking about making some vegetable soup tonight.”

Kara barely held back a groan, but wasn’t so successful with hiding her displeasure on her face. For a disgusting vegetable that didn’t even grow in their climate naturally, Eliza sure made meals with it often.

Taking a knife from the kitchen and basket from the porch, Kara set off towards the smaller garden behind the barn where many of their… unique fruits and vegetables grew. A small lemon tree, an ample blackberry bush, a massive squash plant, and others were all huddled together in a private garden behind a fence. Once Jeremiah had even managed to get his hands on a pineapple plant, and Kara had begged him ever since to grow more. If Winn ever convinced the Danvers to grow a coconut or banana tree, it would be grown here. Harvesting the okra by using the knife to cut the pods from the stalk, Kara made quick work of the impressively tall plant, filling her small basket easily with the green pods. Winn had once told her that people would often slice up okra and fry it in a covering of breading and salt. Kara’s mouth watered. If only Eliza would make that for a change.

Once she had finished, Kara placed the basket of okra on the back porch and pocketed the knife before she traversed the yard to the forest out back. Coming across the red cedar tree, she couldn’t help but sigh slightly. Maybe this thing Alex had was worse than they thought. Perhaps it wasn’t just some bug, but something much more serious. The thought of having to make all future deliveries alone terrified Kara, but the thought of losing her sister sprung tears to her eyes. And now she couldn’t even talk to her. She was just alone.

Still, living with dryads had taught her that while she might not understand trees, the trees could understand her.

“Hey, Alex,” Kara mumbled, twiddling with the knife in her hand, careful to not let the blade slice her. “I just came to check in on you. You’re looking pretty good. Well, I mean for a tree. Green and all. No mistletoe anywhere so that’s good. Like yeah, I would prefer you as a person, but please take your time to get well and all. It’s kind of lonely making deliveries without, but I do stay on the road when I drive so there’s always that.”

“I don’t whether to be more offended that you still insult my driving even when I’m sick or that you can’t tell the difference between me and any other tree.”

Kara swiftly spun around, her mouth falling open and eyes widening in shock as her gaze fell up on her sister leaning against a tree, looking as she always did without a hair out of place or a wrinkle in her clothes. A wave of joy overcame Kara as she threw her arms open and threw herself at her sister.

“Alex!” Kara exclaimed as she looped her arms around her sister neck.

“Woah, sis,” Alex said as she smoothed Kara’s blonde hair. “I was only out for two days. Not two months.”

“I know,” Kara said as she pulled away slightly. “I was just really worried. You looked awful last time I saw you.”

“Yeah,” Alex shrugged. “I think it was just something I ate or some strange stomach bug. I’m feeling fine now.” 

“Good, cause making deliveries without you isn’t that much fun.”

“Even with my driving?” Alex asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Even with your driving,” Kara laughed. “I don’t think the horses even knew the route to the market followed a road with how much you lead them off it.

“Hey,” Alex playfully punched her sister in the shoulder and she noticed the knife in Kara’s pocket. “Did Mom make you harvest okra earlier?”

“What?” Kara hands drifted to the knife in her pocket. “Oh no. I was actually going to try and carve my initials in the tree trunk. Maybe even something like ‘Kara was here’ and date it. But it’s not yours so why bother now?”

Alex narrowed her eyes.

“You wouldn’t,” Alex threatened. 

“I mean, you could always change back,” Kara continued. “At the very least, we could hang a bird house from your branches. I think we could always use more songbirds. Maybe Eliza could coax a woodpecker in to keep tempo.”

Alex rolled her eyes.

“To think I could have stayed a tree for just a bit longer,” she mumbled as she began to walk back to the house.

“You know you love me,” Kara said as she looped her arm through her sisters. “Oh, and do you know a woman named Maggie?”

Kara was jerked back as the arm she was holding stopped in place. Turning her face, she saw Alex’s brown eyes wide in shock and mouth hanging open slightly. Her jaw moved up and down before she finally succeeded in getting a word out.

“What?” Alex breathed.

“Maggie,” Kara repeated, her brow furrowing as she scrutinized her sister. “Kind of tan skin, black hair, sort of cocky…”

“I know who Maggie is,” Alex clarified, holding out her hands to stop her sisters rambling. 

“Oh, well she said hey,” Kara shrugged, turning back towards the house.

Her sister’s firm hand on Kara’s shoulder stopped her.

“Wait, was that all?” Alex asked, suddenly seeming more nervous than shocked.

“I mean, she said she hoped you get well soon,” Kara said, waving her hand at Alex. “But that’s pretty irrelevant now since clearly that’s already happened.”

“Oh…” Alex bit her lip slightly, a faint blush highlighting her cheeks. “Did she say anything else?”

Kara’s blue eyes narrowed as she arched her brow slightly.

“Is there something I should I know about?” Kara asked.

“What? No! I was just…”

“You like her, don’t you?” Kara exclaimed, a bright smile spreading across her face.

“Kara…”

“You do!” Kara clapped her hands together excitedly as she bounced on the balls her feet. “Oh, this is so exciting! You’ve never—”

“Kara!” Alex’s harsh voice cutting her off and piercing through Kara’s glee. “Just drop it, okay?”

“But—”

“No, Kara,” Alex’s voice was firm, but her eyes looked weary. “Please,” she added softly. “Don’t say anything more about it.”

“Okay,” Kara whispered.

It wasn’t until they begun to walk back to the house together that Kara felt the twinge of pain from her upper back, reminding her of the other secrets she was keeping from her family. And that only made her think of yesterday and Lena and the book hidden under her bed. How had her life become ensnared in secrets in such a short amount of time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex was going to be a black spruce, but then I learned that their lumber is most commonly used to make chopsticks and I thought the Danvers were too badass to be chopstick trees.  
> And yes! Maggie is in the picture! Bet you thought I forgot about her. Nope! I'm just the queen of dragging things out for far too long


	9. Chapter 9

Kara waited two full days before her will crumbled and she found herself sneaking out of her room and into the stables to saddle up her favorite white horse. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to see Lena again. No, she most certainly did. The scars on her back and the longing in her chest desperately craved relief. But her mind and nerves were all over the place. Would it seem desperate to come so soon? And she needed some sort of reason. Showing up unannounced to a private place was strange enough in itself. Yes, Kara knew she could just tell Lena about her songs, but it just felt wrong somehow. The songs – those beautiful, but sad songs – weren’t meant for her and quite honestly, Kara felt as if was an invasion of privacy. An unintentional invasion of privacy of course, but she doubted Lena would see the difference. And naturally, telling her about her songs that the stars brought her would only lead to more confessions – confessions Kara knew would scare Lena away. She was a wingless angel half-breed bastard. Who would want to come anywhere near that?

But eventually, that song of sorrow ghosted in through the window and through Kara’s ears and snapped her impulse to follow it. Still, her mind swarmed with doubts and uncertainties and anxieties as she rode Comet down the road towards the direction of the song. Three times she pulled Comet to a stop, once again debating this whole endeavor, but each time, she melted as soon as the call hit her ears again. Eventually, Comet grew to ignore his rider’s sporadic stops which only made Kara have to pull on the reigns harder and have more guilt flood through her. Guilt that Comet probably knew would result in more treats when they returned to the stables. He may have been Kara’s favorite horse, but he was a mastermind when it came to getting more treats.

Even in the dark, it didn’t take long for Kara to realize that Lena and her song were coming from the same place as before. As she crested the hill overlooking the dock and the beach below, Kara spotted the same lone figure in a gray cloak once again on the edge of the dock, but sitting rather than standing. Kara couldn’t tell if her feet were dangling into the water or not. This time, however, the sea remained calm with the gray waves gently lapping at the dock and small boats tied around it. Rather than a raging wind, a gentle breeze blew lifting the dark, raven strands of hair off Lena’s cloaked shoulder. A song no longer flow from her lips, but Kara still felt drawn to her.

Despite not even seeing her face, Kara immediately regretted coming.

This was thoughtless, stupid, and impulsive. What was she even thinking? She pulled on the horse’s reigns, but Comet had already found a tuff of sweet grass to nibble on. Kara tried pulling the reigns again, but the white horse only shook it’s mane before lowering his head back down again. When she jabbed her heels in his side, he stamped his front foot, but otherwise, remained unfazed. It’d be easier to swim through those stormy waves than try to move him before he was finished eating at this point.

“Oh, come on,” Kara muttered before sneaking a glance back at the raven-haired woman.

And suddenly Kara found herself off her horse and walking towards her. 

She played with her fingers nervously as she continued to walk down the hill. For a moment, she considered turning around to tie Comet’s reigns to a tree, but she knew he wouldn’t wander anywhere, especially when he stood in a pasture of a sweet grass. Maybe she could pass that off as his treat for bringing her here tonight. When her feet met the sand, her legs threated to buckle, but not because she was running on it like before. Instead, the weight of her nerves and anxiety made her feet heavy and knees weak in the soft beach. 

What was she doing here? This was too strange, even for her. She should just turn around and go home. Comet would probably be convinced if she worked at him and promised enough treats. But she shouldn’t be here. She was lying to her family, breaking her promise to her sister, and endangering them all for this girl she barely knew. A girl she had only spoken a handful of words to. A girl who carried the last name of Luthor.

But she wasn’t a Luthor. Maybe in name, but not in heart. This wasn’t a wicked witch, but a skinless selkie. She was alone and living in a world not her own. She needed someone. Someone Kara so desperately craved to be even though she couldn’t figure out why. Lena was a girl in need and Kara may not have her wings, but she was still part angel and that part wanted to help. Maybe that was why she felt this inexplicable draw to her. Maybe that was why the stars had brought Lena’s song to her. Maybe this was her destiny.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Kara continue on till she reached the dock. Tentatively, she took a step on to the smooth wood that, besides a few cracks and splinters, held no evidence of the storm from a few days past. She expected a creek or groan, but the small pier was sturdier than she thought. With slow steps, Kara made her way to the end of the dock, her heart hammering in her ears louder than the waves and wind around her. And then she was there, standing next to the sitting pale-skinned siren, and her mouth promptly went dry and mind went blank.

“Hi,” Kara squeaked out, immediately regretting the greeting once it slipped her lips.

Lena turned her head slightly to the side, giving Kara a side eye glance with those piercing green eyes that wreaked havoc on Kara’s already racing pulse. A glint of surprise seemed to ghost through them before Lena turned her head back towards the calm waters before them.

“I thought I told you to stay away from docks,” Lena replied, her voice light and calm.

“Oh, um,” Kara fumbled as she twisted her fingers around her wrist. “I kind of thought that this one was acceptable.”

A light scoff left Lena’s pale lips, her head tossing back slightly. 

“This was the precise dock I was talking about,” she explained, gesturing to it, but her eyes remained fixed on the dark waves softly rolling in front of her.

“Oh, right,” Kara smiled slightly as she rubbed her hand on the back of her neck. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing you’re here then. Someone has to save me if I fall in.”

“What makes you certain I won’t watch you drown?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow but still not turning to meet Kara’s gaze.

“Because you’re not like that,” Kara answered automatically, the light nervous tone now gone.

Lena’s face fell from the somewhat playful look to one of pure stone; the glint from before now gone and replaced with a stoic stare. Her pale hands gripped the wooden edge tighter as she leaned forward ever so slightly. 

“You don’t know what I’m like,” she whispered.

Seeing her despair, Kara stepped forward, barely resisting the urge to place her hand comfortingly on Lena’s shoulder. Instead, she knelt down on the dock beside her and stared at the raven-haired woman’s face even though the green eyes refused to return her gaze. 

“I know you’re better than you and everyone else gives you credit for,” Kara replied earnestly. 

“You should stay away from me, farm girl,” Lena said still staring forward. “It’s for your own good.”

“I’m not afraid,” Kara insisted. “Of them or you.”

Lena turned her head towards Kara, her green eyes flashing black momentarily and Kara barely held back her own instincts to flinch.

“You should be,” Lena told her seriously, but Kara caught a hint of pain in her inflection.

Kara kept her kind blue eyes fixed on Lena’s as she slowly reached out and placed her hand softly on Lena’s shoulder. Lena flinched, but Kara kept her touch there.

“I trust you,” Kara whispered, unaware of the words until after she said them, but meant them with every fiber of her being. 

\---

“The girl lived, mother.”

Lillian spun the wooden pen in her fingers as she stared out the window in her office at the night sky. The sky lacked the storm clouds of earlier in the week so the stars in their constellations and the moon in her splendor hung gloriously from the darkness. Her teeth ground as she considered raising another storm to block it all from her sight. The last thing she needed was that horrifically arrogant waning ball of a moon taunting her. She clenched her white hands into fist; the wooden pen snapped in her hands.

“I know,” she bit out harshly.

“Our plan failed,” her bald-headed son sneered. “Just like it always does.”

“Then we try again next month,” Lillian said, struggling to keep her tone calm as she now lacked an object to channel her frustration.

“Our spell wasn’t strong enough and next month is our last chance.”

“Then we’ll make it stronger,” her nostrils flaring as her voice climbed an octave at hearing her son blatantly point out the obvious and their weaknesses. “We have the ingredients. If we double the dose of the potion, it should be enough to kill the girl next time.” 

“That won’t be enough.”

Lillian spun towards her son, her dark eyes flashing and her mouth pressed into a hard line. Her fingernails dug into palm as other gripped the splintered remains of her wooden pen in the others until her knuckles turned white. This may be her son and blood, but no one, not even him, should ever doubt her or her power. If anyone else had spoken those words to her, those words would have been their last. 

But there was something in his face. A look that showed he had a plan of his own. Not one to contradict, but to enhance.

“What do you propose then?” Lillian asked, holding her chin high.

A sly smile stretched across the bald man’s face as a dark flame seemed to dance behind his eyes.

“The selkie’s blood is already the strongest of all our ingredients,” Lex explained. “And it’s our freshest. So why not make all of our ingredients that fresh?”

Lillian lifted her chin and her eyes narrowed as she considered her son’s proposal. It was rather bold and would require much more work on their part. Work they may not have time for and would definitely not be without it’s repercussion. If they were to fail, there would be no turning back and their luxurious life in the manor would come to an end as their bodies burned and heads placed on pikes for the entire town to ridicule. 

But if they were to succeed… 

A wicked grin spread across the witch’s face as her eyes flicked back towards her son.

“Then why limit ourselves to weaker girl?” Lillian asked, slowly walking towards her son. “After all, she’s young and inexperienced with her magic. I’m sure that blonde sister of her isn’t much better. But her parents…”

Lex’s smirk grew.

“Do you think we’ll be able to get the potion to them?” he asked.

“We got it to their eldest daughter just fine,” Lillian shrugged. “I’m sure we can manage. I doubt they even suspected our involvement in the whole ordeal.”

“Dryads are finicky creatures.”

The corner of Lillian’s mouth lifted as she moved to adjust her son’s collar.

“Just make sure that when this one turns into a cedar tree, you burn the forest down afterwards, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're over 200 kudos! Gosh, y'all are just so great. I can't believe I've been this fortunate to have people actual care about this mess like I do. I'm truly touched. Y'all are just amazing people I'm lucky to get to know through comments and kudos


	10. Chapter 10

“What brought you out here anyway?” Lena asked.

They had been silent for a while, both sitting and watching the rolling gray waters. Lena’s voice shocked Kara out of the gentle trance she had been lulled into, her blue eyes widening slightly as she realized that Lena was asking the very question she had been praying to avoid. Thankfully, Lena’s gaze was still on the horizon, missing the slight moment of panic that swept over the blonde next to her.

“Oh, um,” Kara hesitated, biting the inside of her cheek. “I couldn’t sleep.” She waved a hand at the dark sky before them. “Stars and all.”

It wasn’t really a lie, but not exactly the truth either. If anything, it was just obscenely vague, but Kara couldn’t figure out quite how else to put it without leaning more towards either side of the spectrum of verity, but thankfully, Lena didn’t seem to be suspicious of either statement.

“Yeah,” Lena sighed in understanding, her head tilting back a bit. “They do seem brighter tonight.”

And they were, but of course, that could always be the result of this being their first appearance after remaining hidden behind dark clouds for several nights. Kara’s gaze danced around the night sky, her eyes tracing the constellations: the great bear, the lion’s mane, the falling eagle. Did Lena know of the patterns hidden within or the meaning behind them all? Kara had watched the stars ever since Eliza felt she was well enough to go outside again after her initial treatment. It was one of the few things she felt connected with despite her lack of memory. A wave of calm always washed through her as she gazed upon them, but also a sense of nostalgia. The Danvers may find their home in the trees, but she found her's when looking at the stars. 

“You can see them better out here than on the farm,” Kara murmured, entranced that she could spot several glimmers of light that rarely appeared. 

“This is nothing,” Lena sighed with a wave of her hand. “I used to see all this and more every night.” She lifted her pale hand, pointing her finger at the cluster of stars Kara knew as the archer. “We could see the milky way run through there. It’s so beautiful, but half the time, you can’t see it here. And that one beside it was the great fishhook. The wisest of us could use it as a guide and lead us to some of the best food and shelter in the sea.” Lena’s hand fell back down, her voice falling from the happy nostalgia to a bitter sadness. “And you grounders can barely find the north star.”

The sensation blooming in Kara’s chest suddenly made it hard to breath. Lena knew the stars. Lena knew her home or at a least her own version of it. And Lena didn’t just know them, but she felt passion and cared for them. She might have just thrown an insult out directed her way, but Kara didn’t care. The Danvers may know an occasional constellation, but they never saw the stars as anything but dots in a distant sky. But this woman understood their value and worth – something Kara didn’t think anyone but her would ever know.

“I’ve never heard that pattern called a fishhook,” Kara said, her voice starting off thick before she cleared her throat. “It’s always been the scorpion.”

“The scorpion?” Lena furrowed her eyebrows, her mouth shaping in distaste as if she’d never tasted the word before. “What is that?”

“It’s, uh, kind of like a crab,” Kara explained as her look drifted off in thought. “It has the pinchers” – her hands opened and closed, mimicking the crude claws before feeling stupid and laying them back in her lap – “but their bodies are longer. Oh, and they have this long tail with a stinger on the end that curls kind of like a fish hook.”

“Pinchers and a stinger?”

“Yeah. I think the stingers are venomous too.”

“Venomous?”

“Yep.”

“Sounds dreadful.”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely don’t want to come across one of them.” 

“And these creatures live here?”

“Um, I mean, I think so. Maybe,” Kara said as she scratched her head. “But I think they prefer dryer climates.”

“Thank god,” Lena said with slight laugh. “I think I’d prefer seeing a fishhook in the night sky than that monster.” 

Kara laughed. “Yeah, I think I would prefer that too.”

They were quiet for a few moments as they sat with their necks still craned upwards. A gentle breeze blew by, filling Kara’s nose with a sweet salty scent that she instinctively knew didn’t come from the ocean. She fought the urge to shift herself closer the raven-haired source beside her and settled for the few feet of space separating them. A spray of salt water splashed against the dock. Kara quickly wiped the cold dots from her face with her sleeve, but Lena barely even seemed to notice.

“You know,” Lena said slowly. “I’ve heard it called the leaning coconut tree before. The scorpion fishhook, I mean.”

“Really?” Kara asked, turning her attention away from the stars to look Lena. She planned on saying more, but her voice was lost as soon as soon as she saw how the pale, white skin of her face radiated under the starlight.

“I mean, I don’t see it,” Lena shrugged, her head still facing up. “But I figured you may have an advantage on me given your kind.”

“Oh,” Kara exhaled softly. Right. _Her kind_.

“Do all dryads know the sky as well as you?” Lena asked.

“Um, not really,” Kara explained as she craned her head back up. “I mean, they know the winter sky better since they are trees the better parts of the season. There isn’t really much else to do then besides sleep and look up.” 

“They?”

Kara’s eyes widened as her neck snapped back down. How could she have been so careless? She attempted to sneak a glance to the side, immediately becoming trapped in a piercing green gaze clouded with confusion.

“Um,” Kara stammered, her mind still reeling. “Like other dryads. Besides, you know… me.”

Her heart tore as she said the last word. Lying always pained her, but lying blatantly to this woman’s beautiful face beside her just seemed to tear her heart in two.

“You said ‘they are trees,’” Lena’s green gaze narrowed. “As if that doesn’t include you.”

“Oh, um,” Kara’s head dropped, her blue eyes falling down to look at the edge of the wooden dock in front of them. “Well, I, um.” Why did she always have to be such a blubbering mess around Lena? “I’m not exactly…” Oh gosh, was she actually going say it? Alex will kill her. “Very good at being a dryad.” 

Well that was unexpected. Again, it wasn’t exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either. Maybe that’s why her chest still hurt.

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, her tone becoming less suspicious and more curious, but Kara still refused to meet her stare again.

“I don’t exactly have the same skills as my family,” Kara sighed. 

“They’re more powerful than you?” Lena supposed. 

If she wanted to try and connect the dots herself then Kara wouldn’t stop her.

“Yeah,” Kara scoffed. “Definitely.”

Memories of tree turnings, blooming buds, and heavy harvests filled her mind. All things impossible for her. What good was healing a small cut when you could grow a small garden with enough harvest to supply a town? She was nothing but an angel without her wings. Useless.

“Well, believe me when I say this,” Lena said, her voice now kind. “Power is not all that vital as people say it is. ‘Power-lust is a weed that grows only in the vacant lots of an abandoned mind’ after all.”

The fact that those words came from the mouth of a Luthor added an even heavier weight to them as they settled in the cool night air above the gentle waves.

“Shakespeare?” Kara guessed hesitantly.

“Ayn Rand,” Lena corrected, her head tilting to the side a bit. “I don’t agree with everything she says, but she certainly does have some good quotes. Although, I am sure Shakespeare does have some good quotes when it comes to power. He certainly writes about it enough.”

“Oh,” Kara murmured.

She couldn’t help but feel a bit foolish for once again not understanding what Lena was talking about. But then again, Lena hadn’t known what a scorpion was so maybe there was hope for Kara yet. And Lena didn’t seem like one to mock ignorance. At least she hadn’t last time in the bar when Kara confessed she had never heard of Shakespeare. Maybe she could teach Kara a thing or two.

“What’s Denmark?” Kara asked before she lost her nerve.

Lena turned her head away from the stars and back towards Kara, her face scrunched up in confusion. 

“Pardon?” she asked thoroughly perplexed.

“Well,” Kara turned and grabbed the large volume of Shakespeare’s works she had lugged here from her horse earlier and flipped it open to the leaf she’d been using as a bookmark (she had used whatever was in grabbing distance to mark her page and when one lives in a house with a lot of dryads, leaves tend to be everywhere). “It says ‘something is rotten in the state of Denmark,’ but what is Denmark? Is it like an emotion or something? I’ve heard of ‘state of mind’ before, but not this.”

A few second of silence passed through them before Lena shattered it by tossing her head back and letting out a loud peel of laughter. A sound that delighted Kara when she heard it, but then filled her with shame when she realized who it was directed at.

“It’s a place,” she explained after her burst subsided enough for her to get the words out.

“Oh.” Kara’s face fell and her eyes dropped back down to the words on the page as her cheeks reddened. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. Don’t apologize,” Lena assured her as she placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder as she took a deep breath to steady herself. “If anyone should be apologizing it’s me. I shouldn’t be laughing, but you just took me so off guard with that question.” Another chuckle slipped passed her pale lips.

“It’s okay,” Kara mumbled, her blush deepening as she became all too aware of Lena’s touch.

“I am truly sorry,” Lena apologized as she shook her head with a smile. “I forget that I’m rather well traveled compared to those who live here. Of course, I’ve only ever seen places from the water, but still.” She shrugged, moving her hand away from Kara. “It is better than most. The ocean is rather hard to travel if one doesn’t have fins.”

“Where is Denmark?” Kara asked, pulling her legs up from the water and crossing them so she could balance her book in her lap easier.

“Europe, so…” Lena chewed the inside of her cheek as she thought. “It’s not across this ocean but the next one.”

Kara’s blue eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up.

“There’s another ocean?” She couldn’t imagine another body of water this big.

“Oh yes,” Lena smiled fondly. “Of course, we’re only in a bay, but it leads to our world’s largest ocean. The ocean Denmark’s connected to is a bit smaller.”

“Wow,” Kara sighed. “I didn’t know the world was that big.”

“It’s massive. I don’t think anyone could see it all if they tried.”

“I wouldn’t mind trying,” Kara said softly, her eyes fixed on the horizon.

She knew that her life would most certainly be confined to the town boarders no matter how old she became. She’d never have the kind of money needed to travel across the ocean before her or the mountain range behind her. But still, this unexplainable longing resided within her to see more and to know more. Living with the Danvers, she had seen several exotic plants grown, but she desired to see them growing naturally and freely on the mountainsides and tropical islands and wetlands.  
“I guess dryads are rather rooted in one spot?” Lena asked.

“Literally,” Kara mumbled. 

If only she had wings still. Nothing would be out of her reach and she could fly towards that line where the sky met the land or sea for as long she wanted. She could see the world. Maybe that was what she was doing before Eliza found her covered in blood under that tree.

“What’s Denmark like?” Kara asked, her focus returning to the open book on her lap.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Lena praised. “Of course, I only saw the coast, but it was gorgeous. Green blue waves, white sandy shores, black and gray rocks littered across the beach. Oh, and the cliffs! I mean, they’re nothing like the White Cliffs of Dover, but I think they’re still stunning on their own.” She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply as her smile flattered. “I wish I could return.”

Kara smiled sadly. A pain blossomed in her chest as she saw the pain in Lena’s face. Her grip on the book tightened as a burst of anger and hatred tore through her for Lillian and Lex. How dare they keep this kind woman trapped. It was wrong. It was inhuman. Just truly evil. They deserved to pay. 

But what could she even do? Kara’s shoulder slumped as her fury deflated to a feeling of worthlessness. Confronting or even trying to fight the Luthors would only make it worse. And what could a half-breed bastard even do? The Shakespearian lines in her lap began to blur as she blinked back tears.

“But are you enjoying it?” Lena asked nodding to the open book in Kara’s lap.

“Um,” Kara hastened her blinks and hoped that Lena couldn’t see the wetness in her eyes in the dark. With a quick clear of her throat, Kara added, “I don’t really know.”

“What do you mean?” Lena cocked her head to the side a little bit.

“It’s just I don’t think I’m smart enough for it,” Kara murmured, ducking her head slightly in an attempt to cover her light blush.

“Not a chance,” Lena assured her with a quick shake of the head. “Everyone’s smart enough. Anyone who says otherwise is a snob. You might just need a little help and there’s nothing wrong with that.” She scooted closer to the blonde, their shoulders now touching so Lena could now read from the same text. “Besides, it’s more fun to read a text with someone. Especially if it’s a play.”

Kara’s heart pounded in her ears as she awkwardly shuffled the large volume around so it could rest on both of their laps. Their arms brushed together and Kara was sure that her skin must have felt scalding in comparison to Lena’s cool touch. She breathed in and that delightfully sweet scent of salt water filled her nose. This was far closer than she ever thought anyone, especially her, would ever come to a Luthor. It was both thrilling and petrifying. And, she couldn’t help but wish that they were even closer.

“Why do they talk like this?” Kara asked more breathlessly than she would have liked. 

“The ‘thees’ and the ‘thous?’” Lena clarified. “It’s just how they talked back then. Don’t worry it gets easier.” She paused for a moment. “What was the last thing you read anyway?”

Kara’s face turned a deeper shade of red for what felt like millionth time that night.

“The Farmer’s Almanac,” Kara whispered. 

Lena tossed her head back, letting loose that burst of laughter like from before, but this time, Kara couldn’t resist laughing a bit with her. Her laughter was infectious and beautiful and Kara promised herself she would do whatever she could to hear it again.

“Oh, I would expect nothing less, farm girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because ya girl supplies on the fluff tag.  
> I may have been listening to the Moana sound track when I wrote this so I apologize for the references.  
> Also if you're interested in astronomy, NPR has this great guide to the summer constellations - https://www.npr.org/2018/06/26/621935519/how-to-find-the-summer-constellations-360-video
> 
> Again, thank you so much! Y'all are amazing


	11. Chapter 11

The wind whipped her hair back in a wild blonde mess with her cloths rippling out behind her almost as if her cloak was a make shift cape. Kara could feel the cold temperature of the air around her, but she didn’t shiver. If anything, it enlivened her. Despite the thinner air, her breathing still came normally in steady breaths. In fact, she was laughing in delight. 

This was freedom. 

This was flying.

On her back, large, powerful, white wings propelled her forward, thrusting her upwards. It came so naturally to her. She’d lean one way and turn right and another and turn left with barely any effort. Soon she was spinning through the blue sky in corkscrews and flips. Her hands dipping through the white clouds; the moisture accumulating on her finger tips. Another thrill of laughter slipped through her lips and soon she was pumping her mighty wings upwards, craving even higher heights. Maybe if she flew high enough, she could see the stars even in the day.

She could finally go home.

But then the light came. This blindingly bright light above her that forced her to close her eyes; however, the light still streamed in through her eyelids. Her hand covered her face, but it was still too much to bear. Was it the sun? Why couldn’t she just turn her head away from it? How was it everywhere? Angling her wings and tucking them in ever so slightly, Kara shifted her flight downwards rather than upwards. Perhaps a thick cloud could provide coverage from this blinding source? The stars would have to wait until dusk today. 

As she lowered in the sky, she began extending her wings to slow herself, but she only moved that much faster. Her skin erupted in goosebumps as the chilly air seeped into her through the harsher wind blowing against her. The air rushed from her lungs. It suddenly became rather difficult to take even a small breath in. She attempted to snap her wings out to reduce her speed, but nothing worked. Her mighty wings had gone numb. She couldn’t feel them anymore.

When she opened her eyes, she saw that they once sunny sky had descended into darkness. The stinging cold wind brought tears to her eyes as her speed only increased. Turning to look over her shoulder, Kara saw through a blurry gaze that those mighty white wings were now gone. All that laid behind her was a blank, night sky lacking a moon or stars. There was nothing but her in this flight.

But this wasn’t flying. 

This wasn’t freedom.

This was falling.

\---

Kara’s own scream woke her up. She jerked awake, sitting up rapidly in bed, her chest heaving for air. The sheet in her tightly fisted hands had already begun to tear, but Kara couldn’t seem to release her tense grip on them. Her pajamas clung to her sweaty frame and her blonde hair resembled a rat’s nest from all the thrashing in her sleep. The scars on her shoulder blades burned in a way that she hadn’t felt in years. She was okay though. It was just a dream. Typically, she would look out the window at the stars for comfort when nightmares plagued her, but tonight, she couldn’t find the strength.

When her heart and breath slowed down to a more reasonable beat and the tension in body seeped out enough that when she thought she could move, Kara stood up to check the sheets for blood stains. Thankfully, she found none that night, but from the way her back throbbed, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she did.

\---

“Kara! Are you here to finally bring me my wolfsbane?”

Kara smiled and held up her woven basket that held the clusters of dried wolfsbane wrapped in cloth that she knew would keep Winn supplied for the remainder of the month. Just like she promised, and the Danvers were people of their word.

“What else?” Kara asked as she approached the counter in the empty apothecary shop.

“It’s about time!” Winn said with a teasing grin, leaning up against the other side of the counter towards Kara. “I was beginning to think you forgot about it. And I have been out of stock for days.”

“Oh please,” Kara rolled her eyes. “It’s not like you even need for it a few more weeks anyway.”

“Hey, you never know when a full moon’s coming,” Winn said, holding up his hands palm out. “Well… I guess you do actually.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of like a 30-day thing,” Kara said, raising an eye brow playfully. “One would think that someone who so often caters to werewolves would know that.”

“I mean, I have this moon calendar thing,” Winn rambled retrieving up a small book from the shelf behind before nervously flipping through it. “It’s got all that astrology and planet order in outer space. Helps with casting spells and divination. What’s your sign? Oh hey, would you look at that—” Winn pointed down at a page – “next full moon’s lines up with Saturn, Mars, Mercury, and Pluto. Oh, and it’s a blue moon. That like never happens…”

“Winn,” Kara called out, interrupting his ramble. Her blue eyes danced over him before she hesitantly asked, “is everything okay?”

“What? Oh yeah!” Winn exclaimed, tossing his lunar calendar to the side. “Probably just Venus’ influence or whatever. You know how powerful those pesky planets can be, right?”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked, her brow wrinkling in concern.

Winn’s throat bobbed ever so slightly. 

“Can I have that wolfsbane?” he responded, blatantly avoiding the question. 

Kara’s blue eyes kept a firm hold on Winn’s brown, refusing to move even when his blinks escalated in speed. It didn’t take a detective to know he was hiding something. But luckily, Kara was a friend. A friend who wouldn’t push her friend if she thought he was uncomfortable. After a few moments, she dropped her gaze with a sigh and pushed a woven basket towards him over the counter.

“Here,” she said. “I added some ears of corn and a few potatoes too.” She gave him a weak smile. “I know how much you love your starches.”

“Yes!” Winn exclaimed as her pulled the basket towards him and opened it. “The only eatable vegetables are the ones you can slather in butter.”

“Ugh!” Kara tossed her head back dramatically. “Rub it why don’t you.”

“You know you’re welcome to come to me for all your butter needs,” Winn said with a small smile. “We can even eat it with bread if you want.”

“Oh, how you tempt me,” Kara sighed. “But I’m pretty sure Eliza would catch on when my clothes no longer started to fit. And I would definitely eat you out of house and home.”

“True,” Winn nodded, looking off to the side. “I don’t know if my pantry could handle multiple visits from the famous Kara Danvers’s bottomless stomach.” 

“We all have our special skills,” Kara said proudly as she patted her belly.

“Right,” Winn agreed with a small scoff before he leaned closer over the counter. “But how about those other ‘special skills’ you have?”

Kara’s mouth and hand fell as her eyes darted around the empty shop. Maybe it was all the shelves and clutter, but Kara never seemed to feel truly alone and safe here. As if it wasn’t secure as it seemed, but she didn’t have the faintest idea of why. But she saw no one. And she trusted Winn. That should be enough.

“Um,” she cleared her throat. “You wouldn’t happen to have that tonic ready yet, would you?”

Winn’s eyebrow shot up. “Oh, yeah sure.” He pushed himself off the counter and disappeared in the back room. He returned carrying a jar with a light brown substance showing through the glass. “I guess it’s more of a salve than a tonic since you don’t really drink it.”

He handed it to Kara who quickly grabbed it, but almost automatically dropped it due to the shock of cold emanating from it. 

“It’s freezing!” Kara gasped as she fumbled the jar on to the counter, just barely avoiding dropping it to the floor.

“Yeah,” Winn said sheepishly as he rubbed his neck. “When I infused it with magic, the cooling aloe really took it over. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about any burns for a while.”

“I’ll probably need to wrap myself in wool blankets before I use it,” Kara said as she covered her hands in her cloak for protection before picking up the jar again.

“Just set it next to a fire and heat it up a bit before using it. And there’s some marigold, echinacea, and broadleaf mixed in there too, so hopefully the aloe isn’t too overpowering.”

“You’re incredible,” Kara sighed as she unscrewed the lid. 

A harsh smell hit into her nose, triggering her gag reflex and almost causing her to drop the jar again. Her now cloth covered hands only made the glass slide out of her grip that much faster. Luckily, Winn’s quick reflexes snatched the jar from her hands before it slipped out completely and slammed the metal lid back out before more of the rancid odor fumed out.

“That would be the shark stomach and the goat bile,” Winn explained as he plugged his nose. “Not the easiest stuff to get and definitely not the easiest stuff to work with.”

“I have to put that on my back?” Kara cried as she covered her hand over her mouth.

“Sensory adaption! You won’t even notice it after a few minutes… I think.”

“Winn, I’m going to stink!”

“Well, you didn’t exactly give me a lot to work with! I was just trying to cover all the bases!”

“I know, I know,” Kara sighed as she ran her fingers through blonde hair. “I’m sorry. This is fine. I can try to work with it.”

“You know…” Winn looked up from the brown jar he set on the counter slowly. “It would probably help if I could see what I was working with.”

Kara’s blue eyes widened and her jaw clenched. Instinctively, her arms wrapped around her front as she took a step a back. She knew Winn was only curious, but she couldn’t. No one outside of the Danvers had ever seen her scars. Not on the hottest days in summer. Not on the beach days on the weekend. Not on the rainy days when her clothes soaked through. Not ever. And the Danvers hadn’t seen them in years. She made sure of that. They made her feel exposed. Naked. Vulnerable. Proof of her worst moment in life and her greatest weakness immortalized with a pair of scars she couldn’t even remember receiving. It defined her as nothing but a failure and just worthless. 

“Winn…” Kara whispered, her voice cracking as her throat thickened.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Winn said instantly, holding up his hands with his palms exposed to show he meant no harm. “It’s nothing. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Forget I asked. Please.”

“I just can’t,” she whispered, her grip still tight around her.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it,” Winn repeated earnestly. “Actually, I think I have some of that sweet bread in the back. Maybe even some butter. Would you want some? I’m gonna go get some.”

He slowly backed his way out into the back room behind the counter and disappeared. For several moments, Kara’s tension remained before it slowly dissipated. Breathing deeply, Kara fell on to the wooden stool next to the counter, attempting to let the stiffness roll off her as she exhaled. She trusted Winn almost more than anyone else in her life besides Alex, and of course, he hadn’t meant anything with his request. And a part of her felt guilty for how extreme her reaction was, but she just couldn’t shake the pounding, rigid fear that consumed her when he asked. Why would he even want to be her friend after he saw the ghastly, repulsive marks?

After several minutes, the Kara’s shoulder finally slumped back down and the tightness left her chest. When her breathing and pulse returned to normal, steady rhythm, she looked up to see Winn walking back into the room with a steaming loaf of bread in one hand and a glass of water in the other. 

“Here,” he said with a weak smile as he placed it on the counter in front of her. “Sorry, if it’s a little hot. I just warmed it up in the oven. It may be a little stale. But I did put as much butter on it as I could so hopefully that helps.”

“Thanks, Winn,” Kara said with a small, but genuine smile.

“Kara, I didn’t—”

“It’s okay,” Kara assured him as she laid her hand on his arm. “It’s just… difficult. I hope you can understand that.”

Winn stared at her hand on his arm and visibly swallowed, tensing ever so slightly under her touch. 

“I, uh,” his voice squeaked before he quickly cleared his throat as a redness overcame his cheeks. “Of course. And I hope the salve helps.”

“I’m sure it will,” Kara smiled as she removed her hand from his arm and used it to tear off a chunk of sweet bread from the loaf. 

They were quiet for a while. Kara taking small bites of the buttered covered bread, and Winn flipping through the pages of a book on his desk while tapping a pen anxiously on the wooden desk and sneaking a glance every now and then, but Kara didn’t notice. Her own gaze had wandered off to roam around the store, noting the new additions from the past few days. It still amazed her how Winn was able to find anything in what looked like an ever-growing mess. Her thoughts were interrupted when her eyes passed over the window and she noticed the bright sun light streaming in. Instantly, flashbacks of her dream from the night before came flooding back to her. 

“Hey Winn,” Kara said with her head still turned and fixed on the window.

“Yeah?” he asked, straightening his back up taller. 

“I know you just made me this,” Kara said slowly, gesturing to jar of salve in front of her. “Which I’m very much grateful for. And I understand if you need a break, but um.” She took a deep breath as she struggled to figure out her words. “Do you think you could help me with something else?”

“Yeah, of course, anything,” Winn assured her as he crossed his arms and leaned on them over the counter towards Kara, trying to get her to meet her gaze, but Kara’s focus lied with the chunk of bread in her hand her fingers nervously picked at.

“I’ve been having these dreams,” Kara explained in a mumble. “These really strange dreams. And I know that they shouldn’t bother me because they are, you know, just dreams. But they don’t feel like normal dreams. They’re too real. They feel more like… memories. Memories I don’t remember having.” She took a deep breath before finding the courage to raise her head to look at Winn. “I was hoping that you could, maybe, help me remember.”

“Kara…” Winn exhaled, pushing himself off the counter and rubbing the back of his neck with his hands. 

“Please Winn,” Kara begged, her voice thick with desperation. “Just anything would help. And it’s a large range to choose from so shouldn’t that make it easier?”

“No, Kara,” Winn sighed. “The mind is so complex. There are memories, feelings, thoughts all locked up in there and tangled up with one another so that when you pull on one thing, a whole mess comes with it. And it never shuts off. The mind is always thinking and working which means it’s constantly changing, making it almost impossible to do anything without risking damage or some crazy side effect.”

“But I’ve seen you make potions for the mortals when they’ve seen us to make them forget. How is that any different?”

“Erasing it’s one thing, but bringing it back is another thing all together. Not to mention, mortals are incredibly basic in comparison to us.”

“But I’m half mortal.”

“And also, half angel. A species that my books barely know anything about.”

“But you know me. Isn’t that enough?”

Winn tangled his short brown hair in his fists as he paced anxiously behind his counter.

“Please Winn,” Kara plead as she held her hand out to stop his movements. “I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep telling myself that my life started three years ago when Eliza found me under that tree. I can’t keep ignoring all these differences between me and everyone else. I’m not a dryad. I’m not a Danvers. I’m not a farmer. I don’t know who I am, Winn, and that really scares me.”

Winn’s brown eyes stared into Kara’s blue for several long seconds. Her heart pounded in her ears and just when she was about to tell him to forget about it, Winn closed his eyes and let out a loud breath as he bowed his head.

“I can’t promise anything,” he said. “It’ll take a couple days, probably weeks, to get something remotely close to what you need. And there’s no guarantee it’ll even work.”

“Thank you, Winn!” Kara squealed as she pulled him in for an awkward hug across the counter. “I don’t think you know what this means to me.”

“Anytime,” Winn mumbled into Kara’s blonde hair that his face was pressed against.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Kara said as she pulled away, smiling brightly at him.

“I’m gonna need a lot of ingredients though,” Winn said as his eyes drifted off a bit in thought. “Peppermint and blueberry for starters. And ginseng if you have any. Oh, and rosemary especially. A lot of rosemary.”

“Yes, yes, of course!” Kara promised. “Anything. You just say the word and I’ll bring it over.”

Winn smiled, his gaze falling back on Kara.

“I think we make a pretty good team,” Winn said, the corners of his mouth ever tugging upwards.

“Yeah,” Kara agreed with a smile of her own. “I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

Winn’s face fell. He began rubbing his neck as he looked down and away from Kara.

“Kara, there’s something I need to tell you…” Winn began slowly, before the sound of the door opening behind them.

“Kara! Hey!”

The blonde spun around on her heel. In the doorway stood a grinning Mon El with his hand still holding on to the doorknob. She sidestepped in front of the counter, blocking the jar of cold, smelly salve from Mon’s line of sight. Her grip on the bread tightened as well, refusing to let any of the sweet loaf be lost. Werewolves were known for their mighty appetites that almost put Kara’s own stomach to shame. But just almost. 

“Hey Mon!” she greeted with a smile as she lowered the bread to hid inside her cloak. This bread was hers. “What are you doing here?”

“I just thought I’d swing by,” Mon shrugged. “Maybe buy a candle or something. Oh hey, how’d that rat poison go?”

“What? Oh!” Kara’s eye widened momentarily as she struggled to think. “It went fine. I mean, we didn’t use it. Eliza just talked them into changing fields.”

“Oh, well, that went well.” 

“Yeah, you know how persuasive she can be,” Kara said, chewing the inside of her lip. Cold seeped into her back from the cold jar leaning against her back and dread filled her. “You know, I should really be getting back to her and check on the rat status now that you mention it.”

“Wait,” Mon said, moving to block the door. “There’s someone I want you to meet first.” He stepped aside and revealed a familiar tan skinned woman with dark brown hair whom he quickly wrapped his arm around. “This is Maggie. We’re in the same pack. And—” he gave her hair a swift kiss— “she’s my new girlfriend.”


	12. Chapter 12

Kara waited until she could hear the soft snores of Eliza and Jeremiah drift from their bedroom before she slung her bag over her shoulder and snuck out of the house and into the stable. Comet’s ears perked up when he spotted Kara, his hoof stamping the ground impatiently as if Kara was running late. Kara just shook her head and offered him an apple from the palm of her hand which he wasted no time gobbling up. As he chewed, Kara fastened the saddle around his torso and fit the bit in his mouth. Slowly, she then led him out of his stable before mounting him and setting the pace at a slow trot until Kara was certain that they were in the clear. Then she clicked her heels against Comet’s side and let the song brought to her by the stars be her guide. 

By the time she reached the beach, the song had ceased, but the same figure wrapped in gray sat perched on the edge of the pier much like last time with her long raven hair blowing behind her in the gentle breeze. Tying Comet’s reins to a low hanging branch over a patch of sweet grass, Kara made her way down the beach towards Lena. While this was the second night in a row they had met, the heart within her chest still faltered and sprinted. Of course, the added guilt of deceiving her family certainly didn’t do anything to soothe the weight on her chest, but now with Lena in her sights, she knew her legs wouldn’t take her anywhere else. Kara had people that loved her, and Lena deserved the same.

The dock creaked ever so slightly as Kara stepped out on it and her grip on her bag tightened all the more. If she focused on it, she could feel the gentle sway of the wood beneath her feet brought by the calm silver waves. It made her slightly nausea, but the further she walked, the easier her mind became distracted and her stomach became still. Yet, she was still immensely grateful when she finally reached the end of the dock and where she could lower her center balance by sitting next to the raven-haired selkie.

“Am I to expect your presence to become a regular occurrence?” Lena asked as she turned her head slowly to the side towards Kara with a faint smile on her lips.

Kara shrugged as she attempted to act like her pulse wasn’t pounding in her ears erratically.

“Well, it is a nice place to see the stars,” Kara replied with an attempt at a causal wave of her hand and nod of her head upward which Lena’s green eyes followed.

“Do they always keep you awake?” Lena asked, her pale neck craned upwards.

“More so lately,” Kara explained with a quick look over at the woman beside her. The wind had picked up several locks of Lena’s raven hair and pulled them along in a graceful dance behind her, and Kara sat on her hand to resist the temptation of reaching out and lacing her fingers between them. Her eyes drifted towards Lena’s pale lips and she wondered if Lena had always come out her to sing her song of sorrow. She had been with the Luthors for so long. Why wouldn’t she? But then, why had Kara only now just begun hearing her? A wave of remorse filled her and brought her head down with it.

“The sea’s the same way for me,” Lena said in soft voice as her head fell back so it was level with the horizon. “Sometimes it feels like it has me at the end of a rope, and it seeks to pull me beneath the waves. Other times, it’s as if an uncontrollable thirst overcomes me, and I know that only the salt of sea can cure it. It’s so tempting. To just wade in or go for a short swim. To just let the current take me away. But I know if I stick my head under, the pain will only multiply.” Her pale hands clenched into a fist, and Kara caught a gleam from Lena’s teeth in the moonlight. “It’s just a cruel reminder of what I don’t have anymore. Of what was taken from me.”

“Then why keep coming back?” Kara asked after a brief pause. 

“I have to,” Lena sighed. “Even without my skin, the sea is still a part of me.” She closed her eyes and let out another small sigh. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

But Kara did understand. Maybe not to the same extent, but she still had that same pain and longing. She didn’t lose her seal skin, but she did lose her wings. She may not crave a home in the sea, but she craved her home in the stars. And while there was pain in looking at the home she couldn’t have, she still couldn’t imagine her life without it.

But of course, she couldn’t tell Lena that. She was only a dryad to this selkie.

“Oh hey,” Kara said after several moments of silence before she started shuffling through her bag. “I thought our little book club could use some snacks, so I brought us some pomegranate seeds.”

Lena arched an eyebrow; her green eyes fixed on the bag of dark red seeds that Kara held out to her. 

“They’re what?” Lena asked, her nose wrinkling slightly.

“Pomegranate seeds,” Kara repeated before tossing a handful of them in her mouth. They may not be bread or butter, but they were still one of Kara’s favorite foods. “They’re not really grown much around here.”

“Perks of being a dryad?” Lena asked as picked up a red seed carefully with her fingers.

“I guess so,” Kara mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders as she popped some more in her mouth. “We don’t grow a lot of the exotic fruits like this because, of course, we can’t sell them, but they’re more much more exciting if you ask me.”

“Clearly you enjoy them,” Lena nodded to the third handful Kara shoved in her mouth.

A blush creeped over Kara’s cheeks as she quickly looked down, swallowing the mouthful of sweet, tarty seeds.

“They’re pretty good,” she murmured. 

Lena laughed. 

“Well then I guess that’s the only review I need,” she said before eating the single seed in her hand. Kara watched as Lena’s mouth twisted and her nose scrunched as she chewed slowly then relax before she swallowed. “Not very filling, are they?”

Kara couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s why it’s best to eat them by the handful,” she explained before eating another mouthful of seeds. 

“Where are they from again?” Lena asked as picked up a small handful of seeds.

“My sister said that they come from the Mediterranean.” Kara shrugged her shoulders. “But I don’t really know where that is.”

“It’s a sea below Europe,” Lena explained.

“Is it close to Denmark?” Kara asked, her blue eyes perking up. 

“No,” Lena smiled with a small shake of her head. “It’s a couple hundred miles south from there. It’s much different than anything Hamlet probably ever saw.”

“What it’s like?” Kara asked, leaning forward. “The Mediterranean, I mean.”

“Oh, I’ve never been. It’s a bit too far south for my taste. Selkie’s prefer colder waters and ice. Mermaids tend to be more popular there, I think. They’re cold blooded, and they’re just skin and scales so they need the warmer climate and all. I think some nymphs live there too, but they favor freshwater springs and rivers over the salty sea.”

“That sounds pretty cool,” Kara said, turning so her whole body was facing Lena. “Are you friends with any of them?”

“Oh no,” Lena made a face and shook her head. “We all tend to keep to our own kind. Selkies have the north, mermaids have the south, and nymphs have the freshwater. It’s just easier that way. Well…” Lena scratched her head. “That’s not exactly true. I dated a mermaid a while back, but it didn’t really end all too well. Sam’s a bit of a character. Most mermaids are. Always stealing trivial items from sailors like forks and pipes, and then they hoard it all as if that trash were treasure. They can be a bit of nuisance if you ask me. And of course, there is that whole siren thing they do. Nymphs aren’t much better from what I’ve heard. I just prefer to keep my distance now.”

Kara’s jaw froze mid chew when Lena mentioned her past relationship, but luckily, Lena hadn’t seemed to notice. She forced the half-chewed pomegranate seeds down her throat, relishing in the feeling of the pits scraping along the inside of her throat as she forced them down. 

“Oh, did you date a lot?” Kara asked, fidgeting nervously with the edge of her bag. 

Lena shrugged, swallowing a few more seeds before replying.

“Not too much I suppose,” she said. “And none of them were too serious. Maybe you could argue Jack was, but that was really just to get my parents off my back. Mostly it was just other selkies and well, Sam, of course, but those have all been a while back.” She turned her head to Kara with tight smile. “Besides, my options are rather more limited than most.”

Kara didn’t know why she was so surprised. Lena was beautiful and the idea of her struggling to find a date seemed absurd. Still, a pang of jealousy shot through Kara’s chest. She quickly shoved it down. Why should she care? It wasn’t as if Lena was hers. They were just friends and barely even that. She was free to make her own decisions and live her own life without the judgement of someone she just met days ago.

“What about you?” Lena asked, leaning back on her arm to look at Kara’s face easier. “Any evergreens ever caught your eye?”

A short burst of laughter tore through Kara’s throat before she was able to reign it in.

“Um, no,” Kara shook her head. “I can’t say they have.”

“Does tree kind matter to dryads?” Lena asked. “I mean, hypothetically, could an evergreen and, let’s say, a birch work out?”

“Oh yeah. Well, I mean, they’ll be on different cycles and the birch might end up living a bit longer and, of course, their offspring will be one or the other, but yeah, it could definitely work out. I think some dryads are against it, insisting on purity and all, but my family doesn’t seem to care. Jeremiah’s mom was actually a birch, but his father was a cedar like him.”

“Fascinating,” Lena nodded, her eyes drifting off slightly in thought. “Sounds like your family’s rather rebellious.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Kara said with a slight laugh. “They just do what they think is best for us, but they’re still pretty traditionalist. I can’t imagine what Eliza would say if Alex or I brought home someone who wasn’t a dryad.”

“Why do you do that?” Lena asked, cocking her head a little bit to the side.

“Do what?” Kara frowned in confusion.

“Refer to your parents by their names,” Lena clarified. “Isn’t that disrespectful here? Of course, I’m not familiar with all the customs here, but I haven’t even heard Lex do that.”

“Oh,” Kara mumbled, rubbing her hand against the back of her neck. “They’re not really my parents. They just adopted me a few years ago.”

“Oh,” Lena softly said. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Kara shrugged, her eyes now fixed on the ocean rolling off to the side.

“I thought I’d be more over it by now, you know?” she sighed. “It’s just I can’t even remember them. All I remember is this light and then Eliza finding me, but nothing else before.” 

A small weight seemed lift off her shoulders as she spoke the truth. The sensation was addictive, and she just held her tongue in time to stop herself from saying more. Kara could stay silent, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to lie to the woman beside her if she asked her anymore questions.

“Oh wow,” Lena said, running her hand through her raven hair. “I’m assuming that doesn’t happen very often.”

“No,” Kara murmured. “That’s why we don’t talk about it very much.”

Lena nodded slowly, her gaze drifting back to the horizon. They were quiet for several moments, letting the gentle sound of crashing waves and whistling breeze wash over them. The bag of pomegranate seeds laying untouched beside them as they both waited for the other to break the silence.

“Did you read any further in Hamlet?” Lena asked.

“Sort of,” Kara replied, shifting so she could dig through her bag for her thick volume of Shakespeare, thankful for the change of topic. “I have a lot of questions.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Lena smiled, sliding closer to Kara so the book could rest on their lap. A slight shiver ran through Kara as Lena’s sweet salty scent filled her nose, but she did her best to remain composed.

“Okay, um,” Kara mumbled as she scrambled for her thoughts. “So, Gertrude is Hamlet’s mother, right?”

Lena nodded. 

“And the ghost is Hamlet’s father, right?”

“It’s debatable, but yes,” Lena explained. “The dead king is Hamlet’s father.”

“But Claudius is the king now, right? And Gertrude is still the queen?”

“Exactly.” 

“Shouldn’t she have lost her crown when her husband died?”

“Well,” Lena smiled as she fought back a slight laugh. “You’re not wrong. But see, Gertrude married Claudius after her husband, the former king, died.”

“Wait,” Kara said slowly. “I thought Claudius was the old king’s brother.”

“He was.”

“So, she married her brother-in-law right after her husband died?”

“Precisely.”

“That’s disgusting!” Kara exclaimed as she wrinkled her face. “I mean, yeah, they’re not technically related so it's not incest, but it still feels wrong.”

Lena laughed.

“You and Hamlet share that sentiment,” she said pointing to line amidst Hamlet’s speech. “‘Most wicked speed, to post with such dexterity to incestuous sheets.’ While Hamlet is quite over dramatic, he is a bit justified with his anger towards his mother. His father just died and his mother quick marriage was considered one of incest and betrayal at the time. In a sense, his mother is now his aunt and his uncle is now his father.”

“That’s pretty messed up,” Kara said with a grimace. 

“Some families are more dysfunctional than others I suppose,” Lena said with a shrug. 

“And I thought my family was bad,” Kara scoffed.

“What’s wrong with your family?” Lena asked, her voice suddenly more serious.

Kara’s face fell as soon as she realized who she was talking to. Despite whatever petty drama there may exist between her and the Danvers, it was nothing like living with the Luthors. She wasn’t the one with scars on her hand to prove it.

“Nothing,” Kara said quickly. “Just normal things, you know? Small things we disagree on and such. I mean, it’s not always easiest living with a sister especially when we’re so close in age.”

Lena nodded slowly, her gaze shifting back to the horizon. On her lap, she cradled her injured hand, running her fingers along the back where the bandage was a few days ago absentmindedly. It made Kara’s stomach twist. 

“I always wanted a sister,” Lena confessed. “Or a brother. Someone I could talk to besides my parents. Most of my friends had them. They always seemed so great.”

“They are,” Kara replied with a sigh. “I don’t know what I would do without Alex.”

“Then what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just she’s hiding something from me. And I’m worried it’s something bad.”

“Has she ever lied to you before?”

“No. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Then, I say trust her. While I absolutely cannot stand a liar, she’s never done anything to betray your trust prior. Perhaps she has her reasons. And if that’s too hard, just confront her about it. Let her know you’re bothered, but also let her know you care.”

Kara turned to face Lena who still had her gaze on the horizon out in front of them. How could she make it all sound so simple? Looking at her now with the kindness in her green eyes and slight smile on her lips, Kara couldn’t understand how anyone could ever mistake Lena as a Luthor witch. 

“So, does the advice come included with the Shakespeare tutoring or do I need to pay separately?” Kara asked with a playful grin.

Lena arched an eyebrow as she met Kara’s blue eyes, her own mouth curving to match the grin on the blonde’s.

“As long as you keep bringing snacks, I’d say we’re even, farm girl.”

\--- 

The moon was still high in the sky by the time Kara snuck back into house. With Comet in the stable and her cloak hanging by the door, Kara slowly walked around the dark kitchen as she searched for a cup to fill with water. Her volume of Shakespeare had already been dropped off by bedroom door and shoes laid next to it. All she wanted to do was get a drink and then head straight to bed.

The last thing she expected was the kitchen door to open. 

A small yelp left Kara’s lips as the cup of water slipped from her hands and she quickly grabbed a knife from the block to take its place. Wielding it above her head, she spun to face the dark figure lurking in the door frame.

“Woah, Kara! Calm down! It's me!”

“Alex?” Kara gasped, recognizing the familiar voice.

The figure stepped forward into a beam of moon light streaming in from the window and, sure enough, it was her sister. A cloak hung around her neck and the hem of it and her shoes were covered in fresh dirt. Her face was covered in sweat and she held her hands out in front of her to show she meant no harm and was unarmed. Kara slowly lowered her knife.

“What are you doing up?” Alex whispered.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Kara replied as she bent down to pick up her fallen cup, hoping that Alex wouldn’t notice her avoiding the same question. 

“Look, it’s nothing,” Alex insisted. “Let’s just go to bed.”

“What were you doing out, Alex?” Kara asked. “You know it’s not safe to roam the woods this late.”

“I wasn’t roaming the woods, Kara—”

“Then what were you doing?” Kara demanded a little too loud, causing Jeremiah’s snore to falter. They both fell silent and frozen in place as they waited for his snoring to resume the same even pace.

“Let’s just talk about this morning, okay?” Alex said as she turned towards her bedroom.

“Were you with Maggie?” The words slipped out of her mouth before she even realized it.

Alex froze mid step. Even though Kara couldn’t see her face, she knew she was right.

“You know she’s seeing Mon El, right?” Kara continued. “You know, our friend.”

“Kara…”

“Why, Alex?” Her voice broke as tears prickled her eyes. Mon may not have been her best friend, but he didn’t deserve this. No one did. “What did he ever do to you?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” Kara demanded, her voice nearing a dangerous volume.

“It’s complicated,” Alex whispered, her head hanging down in what Kara interpreted as shame.

“I always thought you were better than that,” Kara said before brushing past her sister and into her room, shutting the door behind her so she wouldn’t have to look at her any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm worried this fic is just turning into an excuse for me to ramble about Hamlet and fun facts about plants, but how else do people fall in love? Gosh, this is just straight fluff


	13. Chapter 13

“Kara please just talk to me.”

The ride to market that morning was much more tense than usual as Kara’s customary nap had been replaced with a silent brood. Beside her sister, she sat rigid with her shoulders firm even when the carriage hit the occasional bumps and pot holes along the road. Her green tea sat firmly grasped in her hands, but she barely touched it, her focus only on the road ahead of them. Clearly, Kara was even less up for a discussion this morning than usual as she still had not forgotten the events of last night.

“And say what?” Kara snapped, her blue eyes still firmly on the road ahead. “It’s not like I’m the one having an affair.”

“It’s not like that,” Alex insisted.

“Then what is it exactly?” Kara bit out, her voice firm.

“It’s sort of an arrangement,” Alex explained as she gestured nervously with her hands. “One we all worked out together.”

Kara’s eyes widened and her head snapped towards her sister with a clear look of disgust wrinkled on her face. If she weren’t already on the edge of the seat, she would have scooted even further away.

“You’re seeing Mon too?” she gasped in horror.

“What? No!” Alex exclaimed with a matching look of revulsion, the reins jerking the horse to a stop. “Of course not! Why would you even think that?”

“Then what on earth are you talking about?”

“I can’t really talk about it, Kara,” Alex sighed. “But I promise you, I’m not having an affair and Maggie is not cheating on Mon.”

“Why can’t you just tell me, Alex?” Kara groaned, the stiffness in her posture deflating. “I’m your sister. You’re supposed to tell me everything.”

“It’s just that Maggie being a werewolf complicates things,” Alex exhaled, running her fingers through her short brown hair. “And it certainly doesn’t help that we’re both women.”

“I don’t see why that’s a problem,” Kara insisted. “You’ve been in relationships with women before.”

“Yes, but those relationships have never been between a werewolf and dryad,” Alex replied, her eyes wide and stressed as they fixed on her sister’s. “It’s not only taboo Kara; it’s forbidden.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara asked, leaning forward. “Eliza and Jeremiah never mentioned any dryad law about it. I thought it was just prejudice.”

“It’s prejudice with dryads, but most certainly written in werewolf law. And that law is very clear in both the decree and punishment. Which is why you can’t tell anyone. Not Winn, not mom, not anyone. Just promise me that, okay?”

As she said this, Kara remembered her own relationship with Lena. Not because of the secrecy Alex insisted upon, but the look in her eyes when she did so. Beneath the anxiety and desperation, there was an affection similar to Kara’s own emotions when she saw the selkie. And for a moment, Kara saw herself in Alex’s shoes from before, but rather than looking at the potential dangers of a relationship with a Luthor, it was the potential dangers of a relationship with a werewolf. Kara was already taking enough risk as it was. Was it really smart to think that her sister could risk the same and that they could all make it out unscathed?

“Alex,” Kara sighed. “I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Please Kara,” Alex plead, her voice wavering. “I need you to promise me.”

Both the words and the tone cut deep for Kara. She had already broken one of her last promises to her sister to the best of her ability and now she was being blindly trusted with another. But Alex never sounded like this. She never sounded so vulnerable or even begged. She never looked at Kara so blatantly with tears in her eyes or spoke with a lump in her throat. And Kara couldn’t figure out how to say no.

“I promise.”

\---

“I was beginning to worry that you had gotten lost.”

Kara plopped down on the wooden dock next to raven-haired selkie, dropping her bag beside her as she did. All the sudden weight jostled the floating structure ever so slightly but they remained upright. Eliza and Jeremiah had gone to bed later than normal and Kara had been anxious to make up time on the ride over, pushing Comet a bit harder than she ever had before. After the pace he kept, he definitely deserved plenty of treats when they returned home. The wind from the ride had swept Kara’s blonde hair into what she was sure was knotted mess that even running her fingers furiously through her hair couldn’t fix. But she was here so hopefully that was all that mattered.

“I’m sorry!” Kara said as she ran her fingers through her messy blonde hair. “Right as I was about to head over, I realized I had forgotten the knife to cut the limes.”

“Limes?” Lena asked, her thin eyebrows raising. 

“Yep!” Kara said with a bright smile as she reached into her bag and took out two medium sized, green limes before holding one out to Lena. “Typically, they’re juiced, but you can still eat them as fruit.”

Lena picked one up, weighing it in her hands before tossing it back forth a bit. 

“What do they grow on?” she asked as she held it closer to her face, eyeing the smooth texture. “A bush?”

“It’s a tree actually,” Kara explained as she started to search in her bag for the small knife. “Ours is kind of small, but that might just be because of how cold it can get here. They prefer much warmer climates, but their fruit still keeps pretty well so they’re easy to transport.”

Lena nodded before bringing the green orb up to her nose for a sniff.

“I’ve seen sailors with these before,” Lena said. “Especially the British.”

“Like Shakespeare?” Kara asked excitedly, looking up from her search.

“Yes,” Lena smiled. “Just like Shakespeare. If he were a sailor, I mean. They say these can prevent scurvy.”

“Scurvy? That doesn’t sound pleasant.”

“It’s not. It’s a disease sailors often die from especially if during long voyages. I guess it’s just one of those things about humans,” Lena shrugged. “But they say drinking lime or lemon juice can prevent it.” 

“I think you’ll like limes more than lemons,” Kara said as she finally pulled the small knife from her bag. “They don’t taste nearly as sour.”

“If you say so,” Lena said as she watched Kara closely as she cut into the lime. And of course, this meant Kara had a very difficult time focusing on her task at hand or that there was a sharp blade in one of hers.

“Dang it,” Kara swore as the tip of the knife sliced into her finger. 

She sucked her breath in sharply, the handle of the knife falling with a clatter on the wood between the two of them, but the lime bounced and rolled off the dock and in to the churning ocean below, disappearing from sight.

“Are you okay?” Lena asked, moving forward as if to cradle Kara’s now bleeding hand in hers.

“Yeah,” Kara said as she sucked on her injured finger. 

She was in the midst of healing her cut when she remembered just exactly where she was and who she was with. Swiftly, she removed her finger from her mouth with the once deep cut now resembling a paper cut. Of course, she would have preferred it look at least a tad bit worse so she wouldn’t look quite so much like a wimp.  
“Lime juice,” she added in a weak defense. “It can make cuts really sting.”

Lena arched her eyebrow slightly but didn’t press. As she lowered her hands, Kara caught sight of the still nasty, red line down the middle of Lena’s pale palm and once again, Kara’s chest tightened. When Lena saw Kara staring, she quickly hid her hand within her cloak.

“Can I trust you to cut mine?” Lena asked clearly attempting to avoid that topic. “I’m assuming we’ll have to split it between the both of us now.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” Kara mumbled as the nimbly took the green fruit from Lena’s pale hand and did her best to ignore the light, red scars along the inside of Lena’s fingers that she had noticed once before. “I mean, it’s not really one of those fruits you eat a lot of anyways. Mostly, people just juice them, I think.”

This time, her hand remained firm and with a couple swipes of the blade, Kara had cut the fruit into several slices. Setting them down on the cloth bag between them, she offered one to Lena’s outstretched hand.

“How does one eat this?” the selkie asked as she eyed the light pale fruit and darker, thick skin. “Do you bite into the peel?”

“Oh no,” Kara quickly told her. “I think the peel is edible but most people just toss it.” She gripped the slice so that the skin was resting on the inside of hand. “Just hold it like so and bite into it. Like this.” When she bit in, the tart, bitter juice flooded her mouth and she couldn’t help but make a bit of a face as the juice dribbled down her chin. Quickly, she swallowed it along with much of the pulp and smiled. “It’s easy.”

Lena watched her warily for a few moments before she did the same. When her teeth sank into the fruit, her face twisted and nose wrinkled disdainfully at the taste. It looked almost as if she would spit it out but her throat bobbed anyways as she swallowed. She pulled her face back, opening her mouth as she gagged slightly. 

“I don’t know if I’d call that easy,” she gasped as she tossed the peel into the waves in front of them. “If it weren’t for potential scurvy, I don’t see why anyone would eat that.”

“Does that mean I get the rest of yours?” Kara asked, the corners of her mouth rising.

“Please take them!” Lena laughed. 

Kara grabbed another slice, grimacing through the bitter taste she strangely loved as she ate another piece. When she looked over, she saw Lena smiling as she watched her.

“What?” Kara asked as she dropped the green peel into the sea.

“Hold still,” Lena said as she leaned forward, her hand outstretched and hidden by the sleeve of her gray cloak. Kara instantly froze in place and tensed as Lena carefully dabbed her covered hand to the side of her mouth and chin. “There’s lime juice all over your face.”

Kara relaxed slightly, fighting the urge to lean too much into Lena’s touch and the whimper that came to her lips as Lena pulled her hand away.  
“Yeah, it’s not exactly the easiest fruit to eat,” Kara said, blushing slightly as she looked down.

“The taste certainly doesn’t help either,” Lena replied as she put her arms out behind her and leaned back. “So, did you get the chance to talk to your sister?”  
Kara frowned as she flicked one of the lime slices with her finger.

“Yeah,” Kara grumbled. “It turns out she’s dating this girl. She didn't tell me because she knew I wouldn’t approve.”

Lena cocked her head back and raised an eyebrow with her lips in a tight line.

“Because she’s a woman?” she guessed, her nostrils flaring ever so slightly.

“What? No,” Kara quickly assured her with a wave of her hand and furious shake of her head. “I’ve known about Alex’s sexuality for years, and I don’t see why people want to make such a big deal about it. I mean, it’s not like it’s hurting anyone, so why do people care?” 

Lena nodded slowly, her gaze flicking over Kara carefully as she relaxed.

“So, what is it, then?” she asked.

“Well, the girl she’s dating also claims to be in a relationship with one of my good friends.”

“Oh,” Lena’s eyebrows shot up. “So, she’s cheating on him?”

“That’s what I said, but Alex says it’s not like that,” Kara sighed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. “She said he was just like a cover for them so they could date. I mean, I understand why that would be ideal. They’re gay and different kinds, but I just don’t see why my friend would agree to this, you know? He’s mostly my friend not my sister’s. I’m surprised Alex even knew his last name. And he’s a nice guy and all, but not that nice.”

“Huh,” Lena said as she wrinkled her brow in thought. “That is unusual.”

“Not to mention that Eliza and Jeremiah will kill Alex if they ever found out,” Kara groaned. “She maybe could convince them with a human, but a werewolf is another thing entirely.”

“Oh wow,” Lena mumbled, her green eyes widening. “That is quite the jump from a dryad.”

“I don’t know what she’s gonna do,” Kara sighed as she pressed her head into her hands.

“Well, I mean they aren’t really that different,” Lena said. “Yes, one can turn into a tree and the other a wolf, but they’re still both human most of the time. Relationships between different kinds can still work.”

Kara’s brow furrowed as she looked up from her hands at Lena.

“I thought you didn’t believe in dating different kinds,” Kara said.

Cocking a thin eyebrow, Lena leaned back with a frown clear on her pale lips and her eyes narrowing.

“When did I say that?” she asked.

“Yesterday,” Kara insisted. “You said you dated the mermaid, but then that it didn’t end well and that your options were more limited than most since then. I thought that meant you hadn’t dated since you hadn’t been around any other of your kind.”

Lena stared at her in disbelief before she started shaking her head and laughing softly.

“Farm girl,” Lena sighed, tilting her head so she could look at the blonde. “When I said that my options were more limited than most, I didn’t mean that I exclusively date selkies and the like. I meant that I only date women.”

“Oh,” Kara breathed, her eyes widening. “But you said Jack and Sam…”

“Sam short for Samantha,” Lena explained with a wave of her hand. “Jack was just to give my parents what they wanted: a straight selkie man. When they realized two of those wouldn’t ever be the case, they more or less dropped it after several tense arguments. Of course, that never stopped them from pushing the selkie part, but the rebellious side of me takes immense pleasure in defying that as well.”

“Oh,” Kara nodded, her eyes falling down and towards the ocean’s wave beside them. A strange feeling that she couldn’t explain had started blooming in her chest. It felt somewhat akin to ecstasy even though she wasn’t sure why. “Okay.”

“That’s not a problem, I hope?” Lena began it as statement, but ended it as a question.

“Of course not!” Kara swiftly assured her as she raised her head back up to Lena, noticing a glimmer of fear in those green eyes she cherished. “That would never be a problem, especially between us.”

Lena closed her eyes briefly as she exhaled, her body visibly relaxing as her mouth formed a small, relieved grin.

“That’s good to hear,” she said as she fixed her now piercing green eyes on the blonde next to her. “I’d hate for anything to come between us. You are the first friend I’ve had in a very long time.” She placed her hand on Kara’s shoulder, triggering Kara’s pulse to take off. “I care about you a lot, Kara.”

Kara would like to tell herself that it was because of the unsteady dock or maybe even an especially rough wave. Anything would be better than admitting that she lost her balance from just the look of another person or the fact that that person had addressed her by her name aloud for the first time. Of course, that person was Lena Luthor. Regardless of the cause, Kara still fell, once again, off the dock and into the cold sea. 

“Kara!” Lena cried out.

Kara swiftly resurfaced, whipping her blonde hair back from her face and coughing up mouthfuls of salt water as she treaded against the waves. The shock of frigid water gave her a sudden burst of energy and convulsions as she searched for something hanging from the dock to latch on to. Luckily, the sea and current weren’t nearly as rough as it had been last time and her hands stumbled across a thick, briny rope for her to cling to. She gasped for air between coughs, praying that she didn’t look as idiotic as she felt.

“Oh gosh,” Lena fretted above from the wooden edge as she held out her hand. “Give me your hand. I’ll try to pull you up.”

However, due to Kara’s strength, she pulled down quite a bit harder than Lena pulled up and soon Kara was not the only woman treading water.

“I’m so sorry!” Kara exclaimed as Lena broke the surface, her pale body shaking from coughing. “I swear I didn’t mean to.”

“This is precisely why I told you to stay away from docks!” Lena replied breathlessly between coughs as she grabbed on to the rope Kara offered her.

“I know and I’m sorry!” Kara fretted. “I swear it was an accident. I remember what you told me about the pain from sticking your head under or being in the sea and I’m so sorry. I can go around and try to pull you up or help you get to shore or something. I swear I never—”

“Shhh,” Lena said as she placed her palms on Kara’s shoulders, effectively cutting off the blonde’s rambling. “I’m fine.”

Lena dipped her head back under, coming back up so that her black hair was slick back and off her pale face, revealing a smile on her pale lips and a dance in her green eyes. It was then that Kara realized that it wasn’t coughs that had been raking Lena’s body, but laughter. And now, Kara couldn’t help but be rendered breathless by how stunning Lena looked in the water with one of those rare grins on her face. 

“But I thought…” Kara’s voice trailed off as Lena’s fingers came up to brush a few wild strands of wet blonde hair from her face.

“I’m never in pain when you’re by my side,” Lena whispered, her hand coming to rest against Kara’s cheek.

Lena’s fierce green eyes stared into Kara’s tranquil blue, and Kara suddenly realized just how close Lena’s face was to her own. She watched as those green eyes darted down to her lips and her blue eyes noticed how Lena’s own pale lips were slightly parted. When those green eyes closed and Lena began to lean in, Kara’s felt her own eyelids flutter close and her heart take off in an erratic pulse so loud that it blocked out the sounds of the gentle waves or whistling wind.

Then Lena’s lips were on hers. They tasted like lime and salt water, and Kara instantly couldn’t get enough. Her home wasn’t in the stars after all, but right here in the sea.

But then Lena pulled away all too soon and a frigid cold from the sea rapidly replaced the burst of warmth that had recently flooded Kara’s chest.

“I’m so sorry,” Lena said swiftly, moving her hand away from Kara’s cheek. “I don’t know what came over me. I should have asked or said something—”

This time, it was Kara’s turn to cut off her rambling. She promptly tangled her fingers in Lena’s wet raven hair and pulled those pale lips back to hers before another worry could leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've hit 300 kudos! Y'all are incredible and I'm still blown away that people actually seem to enjoy my rambling about a supernatural romance that involves more plant trivia than any story should ever have. But truly, I am humbled and will forever be immensely grateful.  
> Thank you


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief warning that the first part of this chapter is a bit more graphic and intense than the ones that have come before it. If needed, feel free to skip down to the second half where it's quite a different tone and fluff

Kara was flying again. High in the clouds with the wind whipping against her face and carrying her strong wings above. In the back of her mind, she knew it was just a dream. The same one she had been having night after night and the one she should just ignore because she knew exactly where it would lead; however, it was just so easy to lose herself in the sensation. The kind of sensation that made her finally feel whole after feeling broken for so long. And with a tip of her wings, she surrendered to it completely. 

Closing her eyes, she tucked in her wings and spun into a barrel roll through a white vapor of a cloud, letting a loud laugh of delight spill through her lips as she did. Lightheaded from excitement and ecstasy, she quickly opened her eyes in search for a new cloud to throw herself through. Cold air rippled across her skin and she knew she should be covered in the goosebumps, but the pleasant burning of her muscles and heat of her delighted spirit kept her warm. This was her heaven.  
However, when the bright light came, the same bright light that came to ruin most of her dream, Kara was still taken off guard. Rather than finding warmth from this light as she would the sun, a frigid chill ran over her. The pleasant burn of her muscles turned into a throbbing ache and her lungs begged for breath she couldn’t seem to take. 

But unlike before, Kara refused to let it stop her this time.

Shielding her eyes from the light with her hand and turning away, Kara pushed through the pain and pumped her wings as hard as she could in the opposite direction. It may have been hopeless to try to out run the speed the of light, but Kara had put her faith in less before. White feathers blew through the air in front of her and she knew they were her own. She was losing altitude, but still she pressed on. What other choice did she have?

“ _Kara_.”

Her wings faltered as the voice drifting through the wind. She’d know that voice anywhere. The voice that had haunted her since it had first graced her ears that night. She could even picture how those pale lips had shaped her name when the voice first uttered it. Those lip that had tasted like lime and salt water as they swam together in the waves just hours before.

Lena.

But where? Kara jerked her head from one side to the other frantically as she scoured the ever-darkening sky, but only gray clouds and darkness lied before her. Pushing harder, Kara flew through the sky faster, racing against the inevitable as she tried to tell herself that the voice was just a trick of the wind.

“ _Kara, help me. Please_.”

This time Lena’s voice was louder and impossible to try to brush off, but still, she saw nothing. Kara gritted her teeth as tried to fight through the ever-growing pain in her upper back and her eyes desperately searching for that raven-haired beauty she called more than friend.

But then the rip came. A rip more painful than ever before as the sound of tearing flesh filled her ears. A scream tore out Kara’s throat as agony erupted from her shoulder blades. Her once white wings, now missing patches of feathers and covered in her own blood, fell faster than her. They spiraled down into the darkness and out of her sight, but she couldn’t bring herself to watch as her focus still laid on finding the origin of that pleading voice.

“ _Kara!_ ”

“Lena! Where are you?”

“Kara, wake up!”

Kara’s eyes snapped open and she saw that she was no longer in the black sky, but in her bedroom. With a loud gasp, she shot forward, but strong hands held her steady. She whipped her head to the side, but she couldn’t see anything in the dark room with the curtains closed. With a loud yelp, she jerked herself to the side as she attempted to fight off the grip, but the fingers on her forearms only tightened.

“Shhh, Kara! It’s me!”

Kara’s movements slowed and then stopped as her eyes began to adjust to the darkness. Gradually, the figure in front of her took the shape of sister with short red hair, pale skin, and concerned brown eyes sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“Alex?” Kara gasped.

“Yes, Kara. It’s me,” Alex assured her as she brushed the back the blonde strands of hair sticky from sweat from her sister’s face. “It was just a dream. You’re safe.”

“Oh Alex,” Kara whispered as she sagged into her sister, shoving her face into her shoulder as the sudden tears assaulted her.

“Shhh, I’m here,” Alex said as she cradled Kara’s head against her, petting her blonde hair. “It was just a dream. Everything’s alright. You’re okay.”

“But it was so real Alex,” Kara said, her voice muffled from crying and placement. “I couldn’t escape it or stop it. I couldn’t find her.”

“You mean the Luthor girl?” Alex asked, her soothing strokes along Kara’s head coming to a halt. 

Kara stilled in Alex’s arm as a chill ran down her spine and shocked through her chest. After a few seconds to find her courage, she pulled back from her sister’s embrace even though Alex kept her hands cradled around face. Her touch brought Kara comfort, and Kara couldn’t bear to lose them just yet especially after how tense their relationship had been over the past few days.

“What?” Kara asked, wiping her sniffling nose with the back of her hand. 

“You talk in your sleep,” Alex explained with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered as her gaze fell down to the bed. 

“It’s okay,” Alex told her as she brushed away a tear from Kara’s cheek with her thumb. “It was just a dream. It’s not like you had any control over it.”

It sounded as if she meant it, but when Kara looked back up, she could tell from her sister’s expression that she knew it had been more than just any dream. But neither of them wanted this moment of brief peace to end. A moment when they only cared for each other rather than who they spent their time with.

“Kara, you’re bleeding,” Alex said suddenly, with gaze locked on the sheets behind her sister and her forehead wrinkled in concern as she jumped up from Kara’s bed.

Kara spun around, instantly regretting it as a sharp sting shot through her. A small cry escaped her lips as her eyes screwed shut as she struggled to breathe through the pain. Alex watched with her hand over mouth as the stain on the back of Kara’s shirt grew in size. 

“Grab that jar from the dresser,” Kara whispered through gritted teeth as she worked up the courage to take off her shirt. 

Holding her breath, Kara slowly peeled her shirt off, hissing slightly as she tugged the damp fabric out of its hold on her shoulder blades. She dropped the stained shirt next to her bed, cursing to herself that she hadn’t worn one of the shirts with the old low cut backs that Eliza had once made for her and the again for staining another set of Eliza’s sheets with her blood. Fisting the covers in her hands, she brought them up to cover her chest as she exposed her back to her sister. She couldn’t help but tense as she heard the pop of the lid as Alex unscrewed the jar.

“Oh gosh,” Alex gagged. “What is this?”

“Winn made it,” Kara mumbled. “Just rub it on with a cloth or something.”

She heard a shuffling behind her as Alex searched for a rag. Kara kept her eyes closed as she attempted one of the breathing exercises Eliza had taught her all those years ago to calm down. In through her nose for five seconds, then out through the mouth for another five. And repeat. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to do much good tonight.

“Okay, I’m just going to move your hair, alright?” Alex said, waiting for Kara to nod. 

When Kara did, Alex gingerly began to pull the blonde locks aside. Damp from sweat and blood, Kara’s hair clung to her back and made Kara’s spine stiffen in pain as it peeled away in a sticky mess. She’d have to wash her hair along with her sheets and shirt in the morning. A wave of shame and embarrassment washed over Kara when she heard her sister gasp behind her as she exposed the puffy, bleeding gashes along her back. Her grip tightened on the covers in her hand and her head bowed as she cringed before the magic salve even touched her. She wouldn’t blame Alex for not wanting to continue.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whimpered, attempting to fight back the tears in her eyes that weren’t completely from the pain.

“There is nothing to apologize for,” Alex told her. “I’m going to start applying it, okay?”

Kara bit her lip and nodded slightly. She jerked forward as the cold salve touched her bare back. Her eyes screwed shut even tighter as she fought the urge to buck against and away her sister’s touch. Her spine arched forward as she bowed against the agony of the application and she gritted her teeth to hold back the screams tearing at her throat. Although it felt like hours, within a few minutes, a cold numbness began to sink in. Still, Kara sagged, crumbled in a fetal like position against her bed as her sister continued to rub in the foul-smelling tonic.

“Alright, I’m going to go get the bandages to wrap this,” Alex said as she screwed the lid back on to the jar. “And then I’ll wash your shirts and sheets.”

“You don’t have to, Alex,” Kara protested, still unable to look at her with her face buried in the covers.

“You’re my little sister, Kara,” Alex said. “It’s my job to take of you. For better or for worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered again.

A soft hand came to rest delicately on her shoulder.

“Look at me,” Alex told her.

Kara turned her head and opened her eyelids, revealing the glistening blue irises rimmed with red underneath. Her nostrils flared briefly as she struggled to hold back more tears when she saw nothing but love and sincerity in the brown eyes looking back at her.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Alex told her as she gently stroked her cheek. “Okay? Absolutely nothing. This isn’t your fault. And don’t you dare think that I love you any less because of it. You’re my sister and nothing is going to change that.” Her own eyes started to tear up as she brushed a lock of blonde hair back behind Kara’s ear. “And we can keep this between us until you’re ready. But please, just let me take care of you, okay?”

Kara bit her lip and nodded. Her grip on the cover loosened ever so slightly.

“Okay,” she whispered. 

\---

“Alright, so I have so many questions.”

The blonde and raven haired woman sat perched in their regular spot on the end of the dock, but this time, they didn’t bother with the courtesy space between them. Lena pressed her shoulder against the blonde’s as she watched Kara flip through the thick volume of Shakespeare on her lap. Even with their first kiss behind them, Kara still couldn’t help but fumble through the pages as she kept opening to a page either too far or too short from the one she desired. It was quite difficult for her to stay focus with the source of that sweet, salt water scent so close and enveloping her. 

“What’s that smell?” Lena asked, pulling away for a second as she sniffed the air.

Instantly, Kara stiffened, her fingers freezing in their search. She wasn’t wearing the salve or bandages right now since she never felt the pain or ache when she was with Lena. She’d even showered before she came, but the putrid smell of the medicine wasn’t exactly an easy one to overcome.

“It was just a hard day on the farm,” Kara muttered as she did her best to will her fingers to move again, but of course, they were even worse at moving the pages than they were before.

“Having trouble?” Lena asked with an arch eyebrow and growing smirk as one of the thin pages tore slightly as Kara turned through it.

“Ugh, I should have marked the page,” Kara groaned.

“There is actually this wonderful new invention made for exactly that purpose,” Lena said, cocking her head to the side to watch Kara’s face as she continued her search. “They’re called bookmarks. I can even get you some if you’d like.”

“You’re too funny,” Kara muttered, her tone dripping with sarcasm, but a genuine smile played on her lip. “Here it is!”

Lena brought her attention back down to the open book in front of her, leaning over her head down so she could figure out just what part of Hamlet Kara had gotten to.

“You’re already in Act 3?” Lena asked, breathing out a slight chuckle. “And I thought I read fast.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Kara explained quickly with a wave of her hand, desperately fighting back the urge to tense at the memory of last night’s events. “Okay, so Claudius like definitely killed Hamlet’s dad, right? Just like the ghost said?”

“Just like the ghost said,” Lena affirmed with a smile, turning her face away from the text and back to Kara. 

“And Hamlet now knows this, but he stabbed Polonius?”

“Exactly.”

“Polonius—Ophelia’s dad Polonius?"

“Yes,” Lena nodded, a sly grin forming as she realized where Kara was going.

“So, Hamlet, the man who can’t even kill the man who killed his own father, kills his girlfriend’s father?”

“Precisely,” Lena said with a small laugh.

“Oh gosh,” Kara groaned. “I guess that’s the end of that relationship.”

“Yes, although I must say that Shakespeare probably isn’t the best person to take love advice from. Most of his romances end in tragedy.”

“Oh, what fun,” Kara said as she closed the book.

“Of course, that doesn't have to stop our own,” Lena said, pressing back into Kara’s side so her breath came out against Kara’s neck. She smiled when she saw goosebumps blossom across Kara’s exposed skin there and a shiver run through her.

Since the few days since they first kissed in that cold ocean, Kara had quickly come learn that reading wasn't Lena's favorite pastime. And the more time Kara spent with Lena, the more influence Lena seemed to have over Kara. Not that Kara minded though. Her kiss with Lena may have been the first one she had ever remembered having, but she most definitely had come to see why people always made such a big deal about it.

“Just promise me you won’t stab my father,” Kara replied, turning her head so her face was only mere inches from Lena’s.

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep,” Lena flashed a sly grin as she leaned forward, but Kara pulled back.

“What do you mean by that?” Kara asked with a quirk of her lips and brow as she found more enjoyment than she’d like to admit in seeing the results of her teasing had on the selkie in front of her. It was reassuring to know that she wasn’t the only one effected by the other.

“If there is someone spying on me from behind a curtain within my own private chamber, I believe I have every right to stab them.”

“Even if they were my own father?”

“He should know better,” Lena insisted as her hand began to pull on Kara’s collar in an effort to tug Kara’s lips towards her, but Kara resisted. “Oh, come on.”

“Just promise me,” Kara said with a teasing smirk. “Jeremiah’s life hangs in the balance here.”

“Fine,” Lena groaned. “I promise not to stab your father as long as he’s not in some compromising or nefarious position where he completely deserves it. Happy now?”

“I guess I can live with that,” Kara replied.

And then her lips were on Lena’s once again. While they didn’t taste like lime and salt as they did the night before, Kara still found their taste equally addictive. Lena’s cold hands cupped Kara’s hot cheeks while Kara’s own fingers curled behind Lena’s neck and into her raven hair. The now dry hair felt soft beneath her finger tips and Kara couldn’t resist the urge to wind her fingers through the locks. Still, their lips moved slowly against one another, each relishing in the sensation and thrill brought from one another’s embrace. Kara had lost her last night, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing her again now.

Eventually Kara pulled away, resting her forehead against Lena’s as she attempted to catch her breath. Their nose brushed against one another as Lena’s thumbs stroked soothingly along Kara’s cheeks. Slowly, Kara opened her blue eyes to find Lena’s green already fixed on her.

“Hi,” Kara whispered, feeling her cheeks redden under Lena’s attentive gaze.

“Hi yourself,” Lena said with a smirk. “I guess not all of us have the same lung capacity as a selkie.”

Kara laughed breathlessly and shook her head.

“I guess not.”

They sat like that for several moments with their foreheads still pressed together; both relaxing and enjoying the soft sounds of the gentle breeze and waves mixed with their steady breathing as well as the proximity of one another. 

“So, you never did tell me what fruit you brought tonight,” Lena said.

“Oh, yeah!” Kara exclaimed as she pulled away and began rummaging through her sack before she pulled out two round, green and yellow pieces of fruit. “I brought mangos!”

Lena raised her eyebrows, but smiled at Kara’s enthusiasm. Gingerly, she took the bright orb from Kara’s hand, weighing it in her hands before holding it up to her face and sniffing it.

“It smells sweet,” Lena said slowly, her nose wrinkling and her mouth curving into a frown.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Kara laughed.

“I’m not much of a fan for sweet things,” Lena explained as she rolled the fruit between her hands.

“Why not?” Kara asked. “I thought everyone liked sweet things.”

“Not everyone grew up in the sea like I did,” Lena said as her gaze drifted back towards the ocean. “We ate only fish, squid, and kelp and trust me when I say that none of that is even close to being remotely sweet.”

“Well, I’ve never had any of those things, but I’d like to think that mangos at least taste better than kelp,” Kara smiled. “They’re like the most popular fruit in India for a reason after all.”

“How do you know that?” 

“That’s what the tree says,” Kara said with a shrug. “Jeremiah knows a guy who knows a guy who got us our mango tree and it told us all about India and stuff. I’m still not sure where India is, but it did convince Eliza to decorate the house in mango leaves once like people in India do.”

“A tree convinced her to redecorate?” Lena asked, her eyes wide and skeptical.

“Apparently, they can be quite persuasive.”

Lena tossed her head back and laughed. 

“Oh, farm girl, you never fail to surprise me.”

A deep blush overcame Kara as she looked down at her mango in hand.

“Just eat your mango,” she mumbled before she took a bite into the sweet fruit.

Lena watched Kara for a second, chewing her lip before summoning up her own resolve to taste the mango for herself. Taking a generous bite, Lena scrunched her nose as the fruit’s sugary juices flooded her mouth. Closing her eyes in concentration, Lena worked her way through the taste and strange texture, finally chewing it enough to swallow it down.

“Not a fan?” Kara asked, her eyes soft with a slight frown on her lips.

Lena grimaced and shook her head and placed the bitten in mango down on the dock beside her.

“So that two of my favorite fruits you don’t like,” Kara said before taking another bite of her mango.

“Well, to be fair,” Lena said scooting closer to Kara. “I did quite enjoy the taste of limes when served a certain way.” Her green eyes darted down to Kara’s lips. “Perhaps I’ll enjoy mangoes if served likewise.”

Kara swallowed. The half-eaten fruit fell from her hands and rolled off the dock.

“You have a one-track mind, Luthor,” Kara whispered as she felt herself leaning towards those piercing green eyes fixed on her.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lena mumbled before tasting Kara’s mango flavored lips with hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Mao Zedong was actually the first to introduce mangos to China and he used them as a symbol for his love for the people of China. So yeah, mangos helped bring communism to China. I didn't try to include this in the fic cause after talk of scurvy and stabbing of fathers, I feel like communism is just strike three when it comes to topics worthy of date conversation. Gosh, this is why I'll forever be single.  
> But thank you all so much for your support from the last chapter. I tried to add some extra fluff in this one as kind of like a thank you and also kind of like an apology for things to come since the angst is become unavoidable. Thank you all so much again for your time and feedback because y'all are just great.


	15. Chapter 15

The ride to town was quiet that morning, but not for the same reasons it had been lately. The tension between the sisters didn’t hang heavy like before, but rather just a sheer mix of exhaustion, irritation, and rigidity instead. While neither sister knew the details, they both knew that each of them had been out late into the night on several occurrences with company neither were fond of. Alex had already stumbled into an awkward encounter with a sputtering Kara soaked from head to toe just a few nights before while Kara had caught Alex sneaking in with dirt covered shoes and leaves in her hair not long after. Without saying it aloud, each understood that neither wanted to know anything more. Silence kept the peace. Silence kept them civil. Silence kept them sisters. 

And of course, there was the elephant in the room. Alex had kept to her word and hadn’t told Eliza about Kara’s nightmares or the reopened wound on her back as well as continually redressed it as needed. Even now, their noses would wrinkle when a breeze would blow the unfortunate, foul stench of the freshly applied salve towards them. Kara never said anything as Alex treated her, biting her tongue to hold back the apologies that she knew she’d be admonished for. The nightmares would come and go, but the wound hadn’t bled like it had that one night since. Luckily, Alex had been able to get the fresh blood out before a stain set in. In everything she had done, Alex had gone above and beyond and been the perfect sister, but this only made Kara feel even more guilty and more like a burden than a sister, and she couldn’t help but wait for when the other shoe would drop.

Fortunately, the delivery route wasn’t that long today. With it being midweek, many of their customers had no need for fresh produce, especially with the market just two days away. Unfortunately, this meant that their normal last stop at Jess’s Tavern had been cut which put both of them in a sour mood, but each were careful not to take it out on each other. Instead, they held their mugs of green tea tightly in their hands as Alex took the carriage at a pace slightly slower than normal as she attempted to keep her hot tea from sloshing on to her lap when the inevitable pot holes hit, and Kara held back her usual complaints.

Despite their exhaustion, they delivered their produce on time and on route. Kara moved the heavy crates as always while Alex took the payment and set up the next delivery date. However, the sunny disposition known of the sisters clearly lacked, but no one thought better to mention it. When Cat Grant saw the deep bags of the blonde's cheeks and the red rimmed eyes of brunette, she thought better of her normal haggling and accepted the delivery without hassle. While normally Kara would be relived at this, she couldn’t help but long for the normalcy of before. Still, she bore the weight of the awkwardness in silence throughout their route even as they neared the end.

“Why don’t you go see Winn?” Alex suggested with a tight smile as she nodded towards his shop. “We’re right here, after all.”

“But there are still more deliveries,” Kara protested, looking up with a frown from the notebook she recorded payments in.

“Not too many and they’re all within walking distance,” Alex said with a shrug. “Besides, I still owe you from all the times when I’ve left you to deliver alone.”

“But...” Kara stopped herself before she continued. Of course, those times when Alex had left her to deliver alone had been when she had either been sick or to visit Maggie; neither were instances Kara wanted to discuss now as it would inevitably lead to a fight. Instead, Kara grabbed her cloth bag and slung it over her shoulder, hoping Alex wouldn’t ask any questions about it. “I’m sure it won’t take long. I have some things to give him anyway.”

“Take your time,” Alex said as she watched Kara climb down with a sad smile. “I’ll meet you back at the wagon.”

“Okay,” Kara said with a small wave. “See you then.”

And with that, Kara turned towards to apothecary, clutching her bag tightly. She desperately wished to turn around and just spill everything that had been clawing at her throat to escape. She just wanted her sister back. But what kind of sister would she be if she just continued to add the heavy weight of her problems to the heavy burden of her sisterhood? How long would it be before it snapped? Alex already tended to her persistent wounds and received nothing in return. She didn’t need to know about her desire for memories or conflict concerning her identity. Kara had already been selfish enough. It was time she stopped afflicting others with her problems and learned to carry them on her own. 

The tinkling of a bell in front of her shocked her out of her inner turmoil. She stepped back barely in time so that the swing of the front door just missed her foot. An old lady hurried out, holding her head rather high for someone who looked no more than farmer’s wife while clutching her basket tight to her chest. She regarded Kara with a look of distain from bored eyes at the top of a fat nose before brushing past, not even caring to hold the door open for the blonde who was clearly headed in. Normally, Kara would have tried to act more civil, but today with her already ill mood and lack of sleep, she sucked her teeth loudly as she caught the brass knob before the door shut all the way.

“Hey Kara!” Winn called from behind his counter as he scribbled on a piece of paper. “What’s up?”

“What was her problem?” Kara asked as she shut the door behind her.

“She’s just like that,” Winn shrugged. “And she did just buy her second round of rat poison.”

“Oh, it’s her,” Kara said as she approached the counter. “I knew she looked familiar.” 

“I guess her husband’s still alive.” Winn said with a wiggle of his eyebrow. “Well, not for much longer anyways.”

“You’re too paranoid,” Kara rolled her eyes as she dropped the basket on the counter. “Oh, and I have those ingredients you asked for.”

Winn’s eyes lit up as he leaned closer to the counter.

“Already? Wow, that was fast.”

“Never underestimate the Danvers Drayds, especially Eliza,” Kara said as she started to pull the ingredients individually wrapped in cloth out. “I brought both dried and fresh peppermint leaves since I wasn’t sure. Same goes for rosemary. The ginseng was a little more difficult to get since it isn’t grown around here, but Eliza can probably get you some more in a week or so if you need.”

“You told her about this?” He asked as he looked up from inspecting the contents of the cloth sacks.

“No,” She mumbled slightly as she kept her head ducked down in her own bag. “She knows you need it for a spell, but I just didn’t tell her what kind.”

“Kara,” Winn said slowly. “You know it wouldn’t be a bad thing if she knew, right?”

“It’s not her problem, okay?” Kara snapped as she whipped her head up towards Winn, blue eyes flashing. 

“I’m sorry,” he said swiftly, holding his hands up. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Winn,” Kara mumbled as she dropped her head in her hands, her anger dissipating into guilt as rapidly as it came. Gosh, she just needed sleep, she thought. “I’m just sick of people I care about worrying about me.”

“That’s what people who care about people do. We worry.”

“I know, but I just want it limited, you know? I’m sick of being a burden on people.”

“Kara you’re not a—”

“Oh, and here are the blueberries,” Kara said quickly, tossing the larger sack of blueberries at him as she desperately tried to cut him off. She’d been around too many false promises and lies lately. She couldn’t bare another. “They’re in season so I brought some extra for you to snack on if you wanted.”

Winn caught the sack against his chest, thankful for the tight cord wrapped around it to keep it closed so he wouldn’t have to spend the next twenty minutes sweeping them off the dusty floor. With a huff, he set the bag on the counter next to the other supplies. He opened his mouth to say more, but the quickly shut it. Instead, he gave Kara a sad smile, but didn’t push. He couldn’t risk scaring her off now. Not when he had already worked up his courage so.

“Thanks Kara,” he said. “I’m sure I’ll be able to have something together real soon. How’s the salve doing?”

“It’s alright,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck. “It hurts to apply. And I reek all the time, but it does the trick. And it stops the bleeding.”

“Bleeding?” Winn’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me about bleeding.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Kara quickly assured him. “It’s only been bad once and that was several nights ago. I’m fine. Really.”

“Are you sure?” Winn asked as his eyes flicked over in concern. 

That look was exactly why Kara didn’t want to tell Eliza. That look as if she was glass doll teetering on the edge of the highest shelf. That look as if she were standing in the middle of a road right as stagecoach was barreling around the bin. That look as if she were about fall apart and meet her evitable end right in front of them. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, and she absolutely hated it.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Kara insisted as she pressed her hand on his arm. “I promise I’m fine.”

“Have the voices gone away?”

“What?” Kara asked, her hand dropping from his arm as her eyes widened. She hadn’t told him about Lena, had she?

“You said you had been hearing things,” Winn explained. “Like songs or something. I thought you said they were what caused it.” 

“Oh,” Kara said as relaxed slightly. “Yeah, they’re still there. But it’s not so bad anymore. You really shouldn’t worry about it.”

“Actually, I have,” Winn said as he pulled up an old leather bound book from under the counter. “I’ve been doing some research, and I think it might be, you know—” his voice dropped to a hushed tone— “ _angel related_.”

“Winn,” Kara sighed as she considered how to tell him to drop it, but caught herself. She still didn’t know why she had been hearing Lena’s song and the sooner she figured it out, perhaps the less guilt she would feel, and perhaps even figure out how to tell Lena that much sooner. “Wait, what do you think it is?”

“I think I was wrong about the messenger part,” he said as he began flipping through the pages. “Like yes, you’re receiving a message of some kind, but what good is a message if you can’t understand it? Pretty pointless if you ask me. So, I started thinking about what other reasons you’d be receiving a message. And then I realized it could not be a message at all, but a call. One that only certain someone could give. Only someone absolutely desperate for a higher power.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara asked as she shook her head impatiently.

“I’m talking about a call for help,” Winn slapped his hands on the worn, yellow pages as he finally turned to the page he had been looking for and spun the book upside down so it’d be right side up for Kara across from him. Although the dark words scribbled on the page laid in a different language, her eyes immediately fell to the immaculate drawing of a figure of pure strength and wings standing over a sleeping child. “I’m talking about a guardian angel.”

“Me?” Kara squeaked, stepping back as she suddenly found it rather difficult to breath. “You think I’m a guardian angel?”

“Part guardian angel,” he clarified. “And whomever you’re hearing is your charge.”

Suddenly, Kara’s legs felt weak and her body heavy. She slumped down in the seat of the stool at the counter next to her. Lena was in trouble. She had been ever since the Luthors stole her skin. That part was valid and Kara could fully believe, but not the rest. There was too much and it all robbed her of her breath and put a hole in her chest.

“You can’t be serious,” she whispered.

“Why not? It’s a perfectly valid theory.”

“Then that means my charge is screwed!” Kara shouted as she stood up suddenly. “I can’t guard her. I can’t protect her. I can’t do anything!” Tears wield up in her eyes as her hands fisted in her blonde hair. “I’m not a guardian! I’m just broken!”

She wasn’t enough for Lena. She had always feared that, but now with the confirmation, there was no denying it. Lena deserved better than anything Kara could possibly give regardless of how much she would try. She would be the reason why Lena would forever be trapped in this Luthor hell. She was the reason why the woman she adored was in so much pain. 

“Woah, hey,” Winn raced around the counter and wrapped up her shaking figure in his arms. “You’re right. I’m not serious. It was just a bad joke. Just forget about it. Pleased don’t cry.”

And Kara tried not to, but a few tears still managed to slip out anyways as she rested her head against his chest. She’d never been this close to anyone except the Danvers and Lena, but she found herself slowly starting to relax anyways despite the unfamiliarity. Winn smell like his shop: old books and dust, but with small hints of pleasant herbs underneath. And the way she felt safe in his arms as he stroked her head reminded her of Alex. Soon she was clutching to him as if he were her sister, desperate for the closeness and comfort that came from only a sibling. 

She didn’t know how long they stood like that, holding each other close in a tight embrace, but eventually, Kara felt as if the tears no longer threatened to overflow and her legs no longer threatened to buckle so she pulled away. Despite the lack of any true full on sobbing, Kara’s nose still sniffled and she wiped it with her sleeve. 

“Here,” Winn said, offering her his white handkerchief. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, turning her head to wipe away the tears in the corner of her eyes. It smelled strangely of sawdust and metal.

“No problem,” Winn assured her with a soft smile as he rubbed her bicep. “Is there anything I can get you? I think I have stale biscuits in the back.”

Kara laughed softly. 

“I think I’m good,” she said. “Thank you though.”

“No problem,” he replied, his smile a bit wider now as he brushed a blonde strand of hair off of Kara’s face.

“I think I’ll sit back down though,” Kara said, pulling herself away from Winn’s hold. “I don’t want to look like a complete mess when I leave.”

“Take all the time you need,” he told her as he leaned up against the counter next to her as Kara resumed her seat on the stool and nodded towards the door. “I doubt anyone else is coming into the shop for a while anyway. Not in the middle of the day. The crowds don’t typically come until the evenings anyway.”

“That’s a relief,” she sighed as she gazed over to the still open book in front of her.

Again, the mighty figure on the page drew her focus. It looked like a man; broad shoulders, impossibly tan, fierce eyes, a long mane brown hair, and biceps that could bench a carriage. His halo hung in a bright ring above him with massive white wings fanned out around him and he was robed in white. Kara was just a sunburned, greasy haired, smelly farmer with frizz instead of a halo and scars instead of wings. She couldn’t be a guardian angel. Maybe one of her parents was, but not her. Maybe that was how her parents met, she thought. Maybe her father was a guardian angel like the one on the page and her mother had been a damsel in distress. He rescued her and then they fell in love. Then they had Kara and realized they’d be happier without her so they cast her out, cutting off their daughter’s wings so they wouldn’t have to worry about her coming back. 

The tears threatened to overflow once more as Kara quickly turned the page. On the next page, another angel stood, but this one holding a lyre and skipping through the clouds around him. Barely holding back a gag, Kara flipped several more pages in, determined to get out of the angel section. Anything else would do. She passed by dryads and nymphs, werewolves and shifters, ghost and spirits, witches and warlocks, but none of them caught her eye. Her turning did finally slow however when she hit the mermaids. Those beautiful women with long hair, flat stomachs, and colorful tails. Was that what Sam looked like? If so, Kara could certainly understand the appeal, but still, a flare of jealousy shot through her. Irritated now, she flicked the page harder than the others, earning a small gasp from Winn.

Just as she was about to turn her head to apologize, her gaze became trapped on the page. In the center rested a drawing of a pale skinned woman with her bare back exposed and turned towards the reader. Dark hair cascaded down her back, and her thighs and below were obscured by waves. Her arms and lower back were concealed in gray skin as if they were removing the skin as if were a coat, but the gray skin was tipped with a black nose and whiskers. Kara’s heart leapt in her chest and seemed to settle in her throat. Her eyes ran over the writing scribbled next to it, but the language wasn’t one she understood.

“What does that say?” Kara whispered, pointing to a paragraph next to the figure.

“Ugh,” Winn arched his neck over Kara’s shoulder, squinting as his eyes flicked over the page. “‘With skin so ill fitting, blemished, and shameful, the creature spends its life hiding in the forest away from people and to cry over its appearance without being seen.’ Oh wow, that’s sad.”

Kara sat, dumbstruck for several moments before she found her voice again.

“What?” she asked, baffled. 

“A squonk,” he clarified. “Apparently, they’re quite depressing. Luckily, they don’t live around here. Says they live in the hemlock groves of eastern North America. There isn’t a picture though, but I sure wish there was. Especially if it’s as ugly as it claims.”

“No,” Kara groaned shaking her head and pointing furiously at the figure of the woman on the page. “What does it say about her?” 

“The selkie?” Winn lowered his head once again to read from the page once again. “‘Preferring to spend their life confined to the sea in their seal skin, selkies are rare and private creatures. Not easily distinguishable from other seals, a selkie will often only reveal itself to sailors who have caused their aquatic home harm. Though normally peaceful, their wrath is not a kind one. In an effort of revenge, sailors learned selkies are easy to enslave by simply stealing their skin. While this is highly difficult, once done a selkie is bound to anyone to who possesses it, obeying every order and even bearing children all in hopes of one day having their skin returned to them. Regardless of the life they form on land, a selkie will always leave it behind if their skin is either returned or destroyed for their heart only belongs to the sea.’”

Kara felt her mouth grow dry as she forced down the lump growing in her throat. Lena may not be bound to a sailor or be forced to bear children, but being bound Lillian Luthor seemed just as worse if not more. It felt almost as if ice had been injected in her veins as she moved her hand to cover her mouth.

“I guess that’s not so bad, especially when you think about the squonk,” Winn said with a shrug as he leaned back against the counter. “I mean, granted they don’t lose their skin. Cause that would obviously suck. But that barely happens. They aren’t even that common anyways. I think they mostly live further north anyways. And in Ireland. They love that place.”

“Does it say anything about returning it?” Kara asked. “The skin, I mean.”

“Ugh,” Winn skimmed over the page again. “Not really. I think it only ever happens whenever the sailors return it or they find it for themselves. Why?”

“Just curious, I guess,” Kara mumbled as she ran her fingers through her hair, her blue eyes still focused on illustration of the woman removing her seal skin. She looked so vulnerable especially with her back bare like that with nothing to protect her.

When a clock chimed in the back, Kara suddenly realized just how long she had been in Winn’s shop and just how long Alex had been at the cart waiting for her. Their relationship lately was already tense enough and Kara certainly had done much to make it better.

“Oh gosh, I need to get going,” she said, jumping up from the stool, her basket already in hand. “Thank you so much for everything Winn. You’re amazing like always.”

“Anytime, Kara,” Winn smiled, his cheeks reddening. “It’s always a pleasure.”

“And um, sorry about earlier,” she mumbled, her fingers fumbling with the wicker handle of the basket in hand. “I didn’t mean to snap or break down like that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Winn assured her, rubbing her arm. “It happens to all of us.”

“I just don’t you to worry about me, that’s all,” she told him with a tight smile.

“Hey,” he gently grabbed her arm. “I’ll always worry. Because that’s what people that care about each other do. And I care about you, Kara.” His grip tightened as his voice dropped. “I care about you a lot. I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now.”

“Thanks, Winn,” she replied softly, patting his arm in return. “I care about you too.”

While Kara meant her touch as one of mutual friendship and love more similar to that of a sibling, Winn did not. That had been the dynamic for a while. One that Kara had never learned. That was of course until Winn suddenly had his mouth against hers.

She didn’t realize they were kissing at first. She thought for a brief moment that maybe he had leaned too far forward or maybe he just tripped. But from the way her wide eyes saw his closed ones and how his hand rested on her hip, she knew that wasn’t so. 

Pulling her head back and pushing her palms against his shoulders, she broke off the kiss with a turn of her head. Winn’s mouth tried to follow her at first, but she held him back. Biting her lip, Kara took a step back and his hold from her quickly fell.

“Winn…” she murmured, struggling to make eye contact. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered hastily, his voice breaking as he stumbled backwards. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kara told him, holding her hand out in concern for her friend as he slammed his back into the counter. “It’s fine.”

“I’m gonna go,” Winn said, quickly turning so he could round the counter and disappear in the backroom, leaving Kara standing there with an empty basket in an empty store.

\---

The ride home was silent. Alex never uttered a word or took her eyes off the road while Kara never loosen her grip on the seat. When they returned to the farm, Alex retired to her room for the afternoon while Kara went to the kitchen where she rapidly swallowed several glasses of water and furiously wiped her sleeve on her lips in an attempt to remove the lasting taste of Winn from her mouth. It was a hard, dry taste only made worse when she thought of the soft, salty taste of Lena she foolishly thought she’d only ever exclusive taste. Kara soon gargled with salt water and found the closest semblance of relief. 

When she finished, there still laid this heavy weight on her shoulders. One that she knew salt water wouldn’t cure. It wasn’t so much on her shoulders but her soul. So much had happened from the guardian angel possibility to Winn kissing her and even Lena kissing her. Kara had had her first kiss and she hadn’t been able to talk to anyone about it. And she was now seeing this incredible, beautiful woman and she wasn’t able to tell a soul. It was killing her.

But she wasn’t the only one in a secret relationship. Alex probably suffered under the same burden. Who else knew about Maggie except her and Mon, but could either of them really count especially considering how Kara’s been treating it all. Yet, it wasn’t as if Kara didn’t care about Alex and her relationship; it was because she was so worried. So worried that Alex would get hurt or worse. Worried that she was just risking it all on some girl she shouldn’t even be with in the first place.

But how was that any different than her own situation with a certain selkie?

Placing the kettle on the stove, Kara heated the water and poured out two cups of tea. With one steaming cup in each hand, she walked across the empty home and gently pushed the door to Alex’s bedroom open with her hip. Alex shot her a confused look from the small tree she was trimming in her window sill, but didn’t protest. Setting one of the cups down on the window sill beside her, Kara perched herself on her sister’s bed. After a careful sip, Kara returned her focus back on the brunette.

“Tell me about Maggie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though there is no plant trivia, there is the squonk trivia and let's face it, the squonk needs all the love it can get because it absolutely deserves it.  
> I also apologize for the probably many grammar issues and probably left out words in this. It is 1:30 AM and I'm a tad bit tipsy but I'm strangely motivated nonetheless. That's also probably the only reason why I'm even including the squonk part anyway.  
> Thank you again for reading this. I still don't understand how there is an actual audience for this or that the audience is so nice and kind and just the loveliest people I've ever met. I'm immensely grateful that our lives have crossed paths in this unconventional and unexpected way


	16. Chapter 16

“Well, um, what did you want to know?”

“What’s she like?” Kara asked as she folded her legs up under her. “Is she funny? Serious? Causal?”

“I guess all those things,” Alex said as she ran her finger along the rim of her cup with a small smile slowly forming on her lips. “She’s smart and she’s tough and she’s beautiful. She’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah?” Kara asked, letting a smile form on her lips.

“Yeah,” Alex said, a blush now coloring her cheeks as she peaked out the window towards the sky. “She’s just incredible. Incredible, but so stubborn,” she let out a short laugh. “That woman is so stubborn. But she makes up for it with so many things. Her kindness, her passion, her loyalty…”

“Is that werewolf side of her?” Kara quipped, raising an eyebrow.

“Kara…” Alex sighed, closing her eyes and setting down the mug on the sill.

“I’m only kidding, Alex,” Kara clarified, placing her hand tenaciously on the bed frame in front of her. 

“Oh,” Alex murmured, her gaze falling back down to the small, pruning shears in her hand. “Are you though?”

“Well yeah,” Kara said with a shrug as she took a brief sip of her tea. “I mean, yes, I would prefer it if she weren’t a werewolf because of how it complicates almost everything and it adds so much stress, but you can’t exactly help who you fall for.”

“Yeah,” Alex mumbled as her fingers fiddled with the leaves on the small tree beside her. “Is there anything else that bothers you about her?”

Kara frowned and shook her head.

“I only met her that once and she seemed perfectly fine,” Kara replied, shrugging her shoulders a bit. “I don’t see anything wrong with her.”

“Not even that she’s a she?” Alex asked quietly.

Kara coughed and sputtered on her tea, blowing and sloshing the hot liquid on her lap and bedspread.

“What?” she gasped. “Of course not.”

“It’s just that—”

“Alex, I promise I’m more than okay with it. Trust me.” Kara insisted as leaned forward so her tone could be clear and emphasized. “I’m not passing any judgement or disapproval what so ever. I’m happy—no, thrilled— that you’ve found someone regardless of whatever gender or kind _she_ is.” She let out a loud exhale as she furiously ran her hair through her hair as she slumped back. “Gosh, why would you even think that? I thought we were past all of this. Have I done or said something?”

“No, but…” Alex sighed as her hands fell away from their fumbling and back to her lap to fidget with the recently pruned leaves and branches there. “I guess I’m just scared. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like this for someone. She’s all I can think about. How she talks, how she laughs, how she smells. And as soon as we part, this whole in my chest opens and I just can’t stop missing her.” She tilted her head back to look out the window, her eyes glistening in the light as her voice became a bit thicker. “I think I’m falling for her, Kara.”

“Alex,” Kara grinned. “I think you’ve already fallen. And pretty hard it seems.”

Alex scoffed, but a smile danced on her lips.

“You’re probably right,” she mumbled as a blush colored her cheeks.

They were silent for several moments, Kara staring at Alex while Alex stared out the window as if she were waiting or searching for something. Both smiling, but for different reasons. Kara took another sip of her tea and scooted closer to her sister and away from the wet spot from the tea she’d lost earlier.

“Do you mind if I ask how you two met?” Kara asked.

“It was a couple months ago,” Alex smiled as she exhaled loudly, turning her head back to her sister. “We first met through the deliveries. She’s one of the last stops.”

“I’m guessing that’s why I’ve been delivering solo to Jess’s tavern?” Kara asked with a raised eyebrow over the rim of her tea mug.

“Yeah, sorry,” Alex blushed and ducked her head slightly. “It’s one of the only times we get to see each other during the day.”

“I guess I’ll let it slide,” Kara said with a wave of her hand and a smile. After all, without Alex being there, nothing held her back from finally talking to Lena. Something Kara couldn’t hold against her even if she tried.

“Thanks,” Alex brushed her short brown hair back behind her ear. “And then I saw her at a bar one night—”

“Wait,” Kara interrupted, setting down her tea. “You went to a bar without me?”

“Yeah, I’ve done it plenty of times,” Alex replied with a confused frown and causal brush of her hand.

“What?! Since when?”

“Since like forever?” Alex shrugged and took a small sip of her tea. “You’re not exactly the best drinking buddy. You don’t even drink.”

“Well, excuse me if all beer and wine taste disgusting!” Kara said with mock offense, throwing her arms in the air. “Why does alcohol have to even be involved? What’s wrong with just plain old juice?”

“This is exactly why you’re not a fun drinking buddy,” Alex replied, rolling her eyes and taking another sip. 

“Whatever,” Kara groaned as she leaned back on the bed.

“Well, as I was saying, we saw each other at the bar and we talked for hours. And then we did it again the next night and then the next.” Alex’s gaze had drifted off and an unfamiliar silly grin stretched across her face as she became lost in thought. “And then I just knew. I knew I wanted to keep talking to this woman for long as I lived.”

Kara nodded. The feeling was all too familiar to the one she felt when she first sat on that dock and shared Shakespeare play and pomegranate seeds with that raven-haired beauty.

“And by some miracle, she felt the same for me,” Alex continued with a slight laugh and shake of her head. “We knew that we couldn’t keep meeting in the bar. We were already drawing too much attention as it was. Werewolves aren’t really… encouraged to have close friends outside of their pack. I mean, casual acquaintance is one thing, but nothing more than that. Most are too stuck up to even have to worry about it, but Maggie’s different. She wanted to try to make us work, even if we couldn’t tell anyone.”

“So how does Mon fit into all of this?” Kara asked before swallowing the rest of her tea. 

“We weren’t careful enough in the beginning,” Alex sighed, slowly stirring the tea with small branch she pruned earlier from the tree. “He caught on to us. We thought for sure he was going to turn us in for sure, especially with him being the alpha’s son and all, but he only wanted to make a deal with us. Apparently, he has a thing for this human girl, Imra I think, and he needed a cover.” 

“So that’s where the whole him and Maggie dating comes from?” 

“Yeah. It’s a fake relationship so they can both secretly date who they want.” Alex took a long drink from her tea and sighed. “Of course, it’s only temporary. Who knows how this will end besides badly.”

“There must be something,” Kara insisted as she scooted forward, balancing her mug on the bed frame. “Can’t you just change the law? I mean, it all sounds more like rather outdated prejudice if you ask me.”

Alex tossed her head back with a scoff.

“That’s what a pack is built on,” she explained. “The only one who can change the law is the Alpha, and I know he’s your friend and all, but Mon doesn’t really have what it takes to ever challenge his father and have any chance of winning.”

“Oh,” Kara mumbled.

“We can maybe try to leave, but we don’t exactly have a lot of options,” Alex sighed as she set down her mug so she could rest her head in her hands. “Western red cedar can only live on the along the northern coast. I might be able to make the east coast work, but I have no way to get there fast enough. My tree side wouldn’t live.” She fisted her hands in her hair as she closed her eyes. “I’m the reason we’re trapped here.”

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Kara sighed, reaching forward and touching her sister’s knee.

“It’s fine,” Alex exhaled deeply before smoothing her hands back over her hair. “We’ll work it out. Somehow. I think.”

“If there’s anything I can do, just let me know,” Kara said, squeezing her sisters leg.

“Thanks,” Alex murmured. “What about you? We haven’t really gotten to catch up in a while. How are things?”

“Uh,” Kara’s gaze and hand dropped as the fringe on the bed spread suddenly became much more interesting. “Not a whole lot, I guess. Well, Winn did kiss me today.”

“What?” Alex’s head shot up. “He kissed you?”

“Yep.”

“Was this the first time?”

“Yep.”

“Well, it’s about time.”

“What?” Kara asked, her head lifting and brows furrowing as she looked at her sister.

“Well, Winn’s had feeling for you since like, well, forever,” Alex explained with a shrug. 

“Really?” Kara asked, her frown only deepening.

“Yeah,” Alex said with a slight laugh. “It’s so painfully obvious. I thought knew.”

“I didn’t,” Kara mumbled as her attention fell back to the fringe in her hand. “I just thought we were friends. I mean, he’s always been more like a brother to me than anything.”

Alex raised her eyes brow and made a face close to an awkward pity.

“I’m guessing you didn’t enjoy it then?”

Kara shook her head and grimaced. 

“I rinsed my mouth out with as much salt water as I could when we got back,” she whispered.

“Oh, Kara, I’m sorry,” Alex told her as she moved from the window sill to the bed next to her sister so she wrap her arm around her, careful to avoid her shoulder blades she had bandaged earlier that day. “Everyone has an awful first kiss. I promise it gets better.”

“Um, Alex,” Kara said as her sister rubbed her shoulders, her face already turning a deep red. “It wasn’t exactly my first kiss.”

“Wait, what?” Alex froze as she cocked her head to the side. “Who was your first kiss then?”

If things hadn’t gone so well with discussing Maggie, Kara wouldn’t have even considered mentioning her own love life. Alex would kill her. But she’d have to tell her eventually. And she’d have to die eventually anyway. Kara figured there was no time like the present and did her best to swallow past the lump in her throat.  
“Lena Luthor,” Kara mumbled with her head down, unable to make eye contact.

“Wait, what?!” Alex exclaimed, jumping up from the bed and spinning around to face the blushing blonde. 

“We’re kind of a thing,” Kara muttered, the bed spread fringe even more captivating than ever.

“Since when?”

“I guess since the night after the full moon.”

“Oh gosh,” Alex groaned as she flopped back on the bed, her hands holding the sides of her head. “So, that’s where you were all those nights you snuck out?” Kara nodded. “And you two were…” Kara nodded again, her red color deepening. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I wasn’t really sure how you’d react…”

“A Luthor?! Really, Kara?”

“I mean, technically she’s not even a Luthor…”

“So what she’s adopted—”

“More like enslaved—”

“Kara!” Alex threw her arm over her mouth and groaned loudly into it, effectively silencing them both. 

Kara’s fingers tangled even further into the fringe as she cautiously sneaked peaks at her sister, waiting for her to say something. All in all, her sister was taking it better than she thought she would. Of course, it had only been a few minutes, but she had completely expected Alex to shout and then storm out seconds after she found out so this was definitely something. 

Finally, Alex lifted her arm and turned her head towards the blonde, locking her somewhat feverish eyes with Kara’s nervous blue ones. She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Sighing, she turned her head back towards the ceiling and then tried again.

“I didn’t even know you were gay!” she finally exclaimed.

“It’s a rather recent development,” Kara mumbled.

“I didn’t even know angels could be gay,” Alex said, pushing the hair out of her own face. “I mean with the whole religious thing…”

“Love is love Alex,” Kara said, her fingers clenching and pulling a few threads out of the comforter. “Regardless of who it’s between.”

“Well, yeah, of course I know that. It’s just… ugh,” Alex pushed herself up on her elbows so she could look at her sister. “You’re springing a lot on me at once. Give me time to process all this.” She breathed loudly through her mouth as she threw her head back. “Gosh, I didn’t even know so much could happen in a week.”

“Yeah,” Kara murmured as she laid back against the bed next to her sister. “It’s been a lot.”

“Seriously,” Alex snorted with a smirk before nudging her leg against Kara’s. “I’m happy for you though.”

“Really?” Kara asked, arching an eyebrow, unable to see her sister as they both laid on their back staring at the ceiling above.

“Of course,” Alex insisted. “I would prefer her not be a Luthor, but you must really trust her especially if you turned for her.”

“I didn’t—”

“I’m kidding, Kara,” Alex told her, placing her hand on her sister’s between them.

“Oh,” Kara sighed, before a smirk tugged her lips as she remembered their similar exchange from earlier. “Are you though?”

“Shut up,” Alex mumbled as she elbowed the blonde in the side and they both laughed. “How did she take it though? The angel thing, I mean.”

“She, um,” Kara fumbled, her smile swiftly disappearing. “I haven’t exactly told her…”

“What?” Alex sat up so she could look at her sister. “Kara, you need to tell her.”

“It’s complicated…”

“If you care for her, then you need to tell her. Especially if you think this is going somewhere.”

“It’s not that simple, Alex.”

“Yes, it is. The longer you wait, the worst it’s going to be.”

“I know, I know,” Kara grumbled as she dragged her palms across closed eyes. “I just don’t know how.”

“Simple: you say, ‘Hi, I’m an angel half breed. Sorry, I didn’t tell you sooner.’ See? That wasn’t so hard.”

“Alex, please,” Kara whispered, her voice cracking as she realized her eyes weren’t watering just from her touch. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alex exhaled quietly. Kara felt a tug against her scalp as Alex began running her fingers through her blonde hair. “But if you care about her, you’re going to have to tell her.”

“I know,” Kara mumbled, her eyes still closed as she relished in the feeling on her sister combing her hair out with her fingers much like she used to do when they were younger.

“And you know your scars are nothing to be ashamed about, right?”

But Kara didn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: according to a brief google search, 15% of the population is allergic to dogs and 5% of the population is allergic to Western Red Cedar trees, so best case scenario, like 1 in 5 people have adverse reactions to this version of Sanvers and I find that oddly fitting. Plus, it's literal Flora and Fauna so how much more perfect a couple could you get? Well, besides selkie and angel obviously. 
> 
> Also, unfortunately, updates are becoming more spread out as the work load starts to pile on, but it'll keep coming. This has become a much needed break from business classes and theory. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for your time and your feedback. Your comments never fail to make my day better


	17. Chapter 17

“So, the weather didn’t scare you off then?”

“You mean this light drizzle?” Kara asked as she made her wave down the dock, her hood covering her face. “I’ve offended that you think I haven’t handled worse. Besides, I think it’s tapering off anyways.”

“Just walk slower,” Lena insisted, cocking her head to the side as she watched the blonde walk towards her. “The wood’s slicker now and the last thing I want to do is have to drag you out of the ocean _again_.”

“Oh please,” Kara rolled her eyes, but not a second later, her foot lost its grip for a second and her arms flailed before she regained her balanced soon after. Lena regarded her with wide green eyes and eyebrows raised in warning. “Okay, okay. I’ll slow down.”

“This is why I worry about you, farm girl,” Lena sighed as she shook her head.

“I’m not that bad,” Kara said as sat down next to Lena, nudging her in the side. “Besides, I don’t recall you worrying very much last time I fell in. Actually, you seemed to enjoy it.”

Even though Lena kept her gaze on the horizon, a blush still colored her cheeks as a smile curved her lips.

“I suppose there is always an exception,” Lena said. “But currently, I’d rather not take an unexpected dip. I’m already wet enough as it is.”

“You’re from the ocean. You’ve literally lived most of your life underwater.”

“And the land has spoiled me. Do you know what salt water does to someone’s hair? I didn’t know that hair could be this healthy or shiny.”

Kara shook her head and laughed as she turned so she was facing the hooded woman beside her.

“I think your hair’s beautiful when it’s wet,” Kara said as she gently pulled the gray cloak off Lena’s head.

“Well now it’s just going to be a frizzy mess,” Lena groaned. “Why’d you have to do that?”

“Because now it’s easier to do this.” Kara said, leaning forward to kiss Lena’s pale cheek which flushed red under her lips.

“You’re insufferable,” Lena mumbled as she ducked her head into Kara’s shoulder.

“I try,” Kara replied as she pressed her lips the top of Lena’s head, the forming frizz tickling her nose, but she only thought it made Lena more adorable. Resting her head on Lena’s, they both sat and relaxed into the sounds of their steady breathing and the steady waves around them. Kara’s eyes fixed on the clouds gliding above and Lena’s on the ocean churning below as the previous rain had brought a fog with it that obscured the horizon from view. The drizzle had all but ceased when they were interrupted by a low growl from Lena’s stomach. 

“Hungry?” Kara asked as Lena swiftly wrapped her arms around her stomach.

“I think it’s been all these midnight snacks,” Lena explained as she ducked her head. “Your exotic foods have thrown my stomach off schedule.”

“Well allow me to relieve that,” Kara said with a laugh as she dramatically reached into her cloak for her bag. “Because I have just the thing for you!”

She whipped out her bag with a flourish and dropped it on her lap. Lena arched a delicate eye brow as she watched Kara reach in and retrieve a small, round fruit to put in her palm.

“What is this?” Lena asked as she rolled it in her hands. It was about the size of a grape but much too round like a sphere and a bit bigger. And the color was… brown?

“It’s a scuppernong!” Kara smiled proudly as she straightened her back and puffed out her chest. “I grew them myself actually. All on my own too.”

“That’s nice darling,” Lena said with a wave of her hand. A dryad boasting about growing something was just about as impressive as the several dozen times she had swum the English Channel. “Now what is it again?”

“It’s a scuppernong,” Kara said, her back slouching and chest deflating a bit at Lena’s unimpressed tone. “It’s a type of muscadine.”

“Okay, now you’re just making up words.” 

“It’s kind of like a grape,” Kara explained with a smile. “I think they’re grown on the southern side of the east coast over there,” Kara explained with a wave in the opposite direction as if the east coast wasn’t thousands of miles away. “Apparently, you can make a really good wine from it. Jeremiah’s been trying for years, but the best he’s come is a fruity flavored vinegar.” Kara scrunched up her face as she remembered the tastes. “I thought I’d save these few from such a sour fate.”

“Do you just eat it?” Lena asked as she squeezed her fingers around it experimentally. “The skin seems a bit tough.”

“Yep!” Kara popped one in her mouth and ate it. “It’s just a little chewier. Oh, and don’t swallow the seed in the middle.” She turned her head and spat the side out into the waves. “I promise, they’re good. They aren’t nearly as sweet as those mangos from earlier either.”

“If you say so,” Lena mumbled as she wrinkled her nose before closing her eyes and taking a bite. “Oh.” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as the tart but sweet taste flooded her mouth as her teeth broke into the tough skin. “They actually aren’t bad.” She opened her eyes and flicked them towards Kara and her bag. “Could I have another?”

“Really? You actually like them?” Kara asked with a bright smile and excited eyes.

“They’re certainly different,” Lena shrugged as she reached towards the bag, “but an enjoyable different.”

“Don’t forget to spit out the seed!” Kara reminded as Lena grabbed another handful.

“Yes, yes,” Lena brushed her off with a wave of her hand. “I’ve eaten cherries and grapes before. I think I can handle a few scubadongs or whatever they’re called.”

“Scuppernongs.”

“Yes, that,” she popped another one in her mouth. “It’s a shame about Jeremiah though because this would make some terrific wine.”

“Maybe we can give it a go sometime,” Kara suggested with a smirk.

“It might be best if you lead that endeavor, farm girl. When it comes to cooking, baking, or anything else with food, it tends to be best for me to stay as far away as possible. Everything I try to make always comes out much too salty even though I barely touch the stuff. No, I think a dryad like yourself would do much better on her own without me.”

A biting chill swept over Kara at Lena’s word, constricting her chest to the point where breathing became painful. A dryad like her. Alex’s words floated back through her head. She needed to tell Lena. She owed it to her, but how? They had such a good thing going and Kara couldn’t bear to ruin it just yet. She wanted more time. This was the closest she’d ever felt like being herself even if part of it was a lie. But that lie still managed to sour all of it. And Lena deserved more.

“Yeah,” Kara whispered as she lowered her head.

Lena turned her head to look at Kara, confused and concerned at the shift in tone.

“Is everything okay?” the selkie asked, gingerly placing her fingers on Kara’s cheek in an attempt to coax Kara’s blue eyes back up to her green.

“Yeah,” Kara said with a weak attempt at a smile. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Well…” Kara’s mouth suddenly became dry cutting off what she was going to say. She licked her lips and swallowed before trying again. She could do this. “Well, Hamlet for starters.”

The words came out before she could stop them. Apparently, she couldn’t do this.

“Did you finish it?” Lena asked, her eyes lighting up and a bright smile replacing her frown.

“Yeah, I did actually,” Kara said as she shook her head, causing Lena’s hand to fall away. She didn’t deserve Lena’s touch right now. “A little warning about the ending would have been nice, you know.”

“And spoil the ending?” Lena scoffed playfully. “Never. I’m not that cruel. Besides, it is a tragedy, after all.”

“No one told me that!”

“The title is literally ‘The Tragedy of Hamlet.’”

“I thought that meant the dead ghost king! Not the main guy! How am I supposed to know when there are multiple people named Hamlet in the play?”

“Oh, farm girl,” Lena laughed. “It’s precisely reasons like those why I’ve loved reading Hamlet with you.”

“Yeah?” a blush crept over Kara’s cheek as she lost track of her rant.

“Yeah,” Lena grinned as pressed a kiss to the blonde’s cheek.

“I do have one question though.”

“Why did Hamlet not kill Claudius sooner?”

“Yes! I mean, he knew basically the entire play that Claudius killed his father, but he just kept dragging his feet and making it all so much worse in the end.”

“A lot of people question that,” Lena shrugged. “They say that it’s his tragic flaw; the one that brings about the tragic ending for everyone, but I disagree.” She shifted so she was now facing Kara directly even though her eyes remained distant in thought. “I think it’s what made him great. It wasn’t out of laziness or anything that Hamlet didn’t kill his uncle, but because of hope. Hope that perhaps his family and his life wasn’t as corrupt and rotten as the ghost said. Hope that he could get out of the whole mess without spilling blood himself. Hope that he could be free once again and life would be worth living again.” Lena exhaled and smoothed her hand over her dark hair as she looked back the blonde. “He clung to hope in the darkest of times, and I can’t think of anything more noble.”

“I never thought about it like that,” Kara mumbled.

“It’s not a very popular opinion,” Lena replied with a sigh. “I guess I just relate to him more than most. Hope is all I have sometimes.”

“You have me,” Kara whispered, covering Lena’s hand with her own.

A genuine smile stretched across her lip as she stared at the tan skin covering hers.

“Very true,” Lena murmured. “That is one advantage I have. Although I couldn’t help but see many striking similarities between you and Ophelia.”

“Really?” Kara asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Well the drowning incident is rather obvious,” Lena said with smirk and roll of her eyes. “Most of your near-death experiences have been in the water lately. And your father may not be Polonius, but I know your family doesn’t approve of me.”

“It’s not that they don’t approve of you…”

“They just don’t approve of my last name,” Lena finished. “And they have every right to. I wouldn’t if I were them. I didn’t mean it as a dig at them, just for comparison.” She paused to brush a frizzy lock of Kara’s blonde hair out of her face. “Your approval is the only one I care about.” 

“And you have it,” Kara assured her with a squeeze to her hand.

“And you have mine,” Lena murmured, placing a quick kiss on Kara’s nose. “Oh, and of course, the main similarity would obviously be the flower scene.”

Kara’s face and stomach dropped as she pulled back.

“What?” she asked.

“The flower scene,” Lena explained oblivious to Kara’s reaction. “Where she gives out all the flowers. I know they all have secret meanings, but I only know a handful. That’s what I meant to ask you about it. Would you have happened to have brought your volume with you?”

“No…” Kara mumbled.

“Oh, yes, I suppose with the rain and all bring ingyour book tonight wouldn’t have been the best idea, but no matter,” Lena said with a wave of her hand and tapped her chin. “I think I can recall most of them anyway. I know one was a daisy which clearly means innocence. But I’m pretty stuck on the pansy and columbine. What do they even look like anyway?”

“I um…” Kara’s gaze fell down to her lap. “I don’t know.”

“Oh please,” Lena scoffed. “You don’t need to play games with me, farm girl. I know you’re a dryad, remember? You probably have all of these growing in your house somewhere.”

“Lena…” Kara barely whispered as her throat constricted ever tighter. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Upon hearing her tone, Lena leaned back to better scrutinize the blonde. Her brow furrowing and lips curving to a frown, the selkie gently brushed away the frizzy blonde hair that now clouded Kara’s face as she hung her head. 

“Hey,” Lena said softly as she flipped her hand under Kara’s so she could squeeze it in her own. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

“It’s just I’m not…” Kara lost her breath all too soon. Inhaling shallowly through her tight chest and throat, Kara tried her best to ignore the dread, pain, and anxiety that seemed coupled with each bit of oxygen she breathed in. She could do this. She had to. “I’m not that.”

“Ophelia?” Lena asked raising an eyebrow. “Darling, I know that. It was just a metaphor.”

“No,” Kara barely whispered as the tears prickled her blue eyes as she closed them. “I’m not a…I’m not a dryad.”

“What?” Lena breathed.

For a second, Kara considered throwing herself into the cold ocean. That alone seemed easier than opening her eyes right now and having to see the look of betrayal on Lena’s face that resounded in her tone. But she had to. It was time she told the truth. Lena deserved that much.

“Remember how I told you the Danvers aren’t my real family? How Eliza found me?” Kara asked, her grip on Lena’s now limp hand tightening. “I’m not like them.”

“So, what? Are you human?” Lena asked as confusion as her forehead wrinkled in concentration while her eyes darted around Kara’s face in search of some sort of clue.

“No,” Kara whispered her nerves starting to rob her of her voice once again as each word decreased in volume. “I’m an angel.”

A mix of emotions crossed Lena’s face that Kara could recognize: confusion, betrayal, anger, disbelief, fear? Kara tightened her grip on Lena’s hand in an attempt to comfort, but that only triggered Lena’s face to adopt a blank expression. All except for her eyes. Those normally piercing green eyes just stared into Kara’s as if she were a wounded animal.

“It’s not what you think,” Kara swiftly assured her as the words she struggled so hard for earlier now tumbled out faster than she could stop them. “It doesn’t have to change anything. I can still come by every night and bring us fruit and all and you can still call me farm girl—”

“No,” Lena’s voice came out weak, but firm, cutting off Kara in her track.

“What? Lena…” Kara tried to squeeze her hand, but Lena jerked it away. “We can still be together. This doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Then why did you lie to me?” Lena snapped as a bright flame of anger replaced the watering tears.

“I… I didn’t want to,” Kara attempted to explain. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“You didn’t know how to tell me?!” Lena snarled, the moon light glinting off her sneered teeth. 

“Lena…”

“No,” Lena’s nostrils flared. “I told you what I was days after we met. _Weeks ago_! And you didn’t bother telling me that you were a fucking angel until now? When we’ve spending almost every night together since? When you’ve had every ample fucking opportunity to, but instead you chose to lie to me?”

“Lena please—” Kara plead holding her hand out in desperation, but only have it swatted away as Lena pushed herself to her feet and away from Kara.

“What?” Lena sneered. “Did you just like taboo nature of it? The conquest? An angel with a Luthor? Is that why you followed me in the beginning? Why you threw yourself into the ocean after me? Oh, you must have loved it when I told you I was a selkie. A damned siren of the sea for you to save. And all you had to do was play the daft part of an obstinate farmer’s daughter. Damn it, I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

“It’s not like that,” Kara weakly protested as climbed to her feet.

“Then what is it then?!”

“I wanted to help you!” Kara protested. 

“Help me? By drowning yourself repeatedly and bringing me disgusting fruit? Then you’ve done a damn good job so far.”

“No,” Kara fisted her hands in her hair as desperately tried to think of something when her eyes fell to Lena’s hand. “That cut on your hand. I can heal it.”

Lena clenched her scared palm into a fist and stepped backwards, gritting her teeth. 

“Don’t you touch me,” she sneered as if she wasn’t the person who had snuggled into Kara’s shoulder mere minutes before. 

“Please Lena,” Kara plead as she blinked back tears. “We’re meant to be together.”

Lena let out a sharp laugh that cut Kara down to her core, causing her to grip her chest in order to prevent herself from keeling over.

“What could possibly give you that indication?” Lena spat.

“The stars,” Kara murmured weakly. “They’ve been bringing me your song. I’ve heard your calling, your pain, every night for weeks now.”

Lena’s jaw dropped as she took another step back as she raised her eyebrows up ever so slightly and for a moment, Kara thought she might have gotten through to her, but then it all came crashing back down. Her green eyes blazed black, her pale nostrils flared, and her sharp teeth bared with a loud hiss as she stalked towards the blonde as a predator rather than a lover.

“ _Those songs were not meant for you_ ,” Lena snarled in an icy, hard tone that sent a chill so cold through Kara that it made the frigid ocean beside her more like a hot tub. 

“Lena please,” Kara whispered.

“I never want to see you again,” she leveled her black eyes with Kara’s crying blue. “Not in the town, not in the tavern, and definitely not on this dock.”

“Lena…”

“Leave,” the selkie spat the words at her like venom. “Now.”

Defeated, distraught, and heart broken, Kara did as she was told. Hanging her head down low as she clutched her cloak in her hands, she shuffled off the end of the dock. She heard splash and realized that Lena must have kicked the bag of scuppernongs she had left into the sea. One of the only fruits she enjoyed Kara had ruined. Thankfully, Comet’s white color made him easy to spot through Kara’s increasingly bleary vision as more silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Numbly, she mounted the horse and snuck a quick glance behind her, but all she saw was the rigid posture and raven hair of the frozen figure at the end of the dock. She knew her heart would have split in two if it hadn’t already been shattered and now laid at the bottom of stomach. Her worst fear had come to fruition, but even with all the thoughts and consideration as to how this would turn out, it hadn’t primed her for this agony.

She wasn’t sure if the sob she heard as she rode down the road was from her own mouth or the stars were only torturing her by bring her the one from the selkie she still loved down at the edge of the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of y'all can ever get your hands on some scuppernong or muscadine wine, I highly recommend it. Oh they make fabulous jelly too. Yep, ten out of ten would recommend. It helps with the pain.


	18. Chapter 18

Kara didn’t sleep that night. She didn’t wait up for Alex either. Once she got home, she went straight to her room to hide behind her closed room door and a thin bed sheet. When she heard Alex come in, she willed her sobs to become still and silent so as not to draw any attention. Her sister didn’t need to know about the tears that tore at her not just eyes, but also throat and lungs, or about the headache that split not just her head, but also chest and stomach in two. Alex didn’t need to know how the fetal position didn’t make her feel small enough or about the desire to throw herself in the ocean, never to resurface and wait for the water to claim her. Alex didn’t need to know about the cold numbness of rejection or self-hate coursing through her sister right now.

Kara just wanted to be alone. She’d be alone for the rest of her life anyway. It was about time she started getting us to it.

It wasn’t until Kara rolled over that she felt the pain of something other than that radiating from her chest. Her back flared as she put pressure on it, undoubtedly strained from how Kara had been curled inward on herself for the past hour or so. Her scars hadn’t experienced their normal time of relief and numbness with Lena like they had become accustom too over the past several weeks. That was another thing Kara could add to the list she lost tonight. At least she had the salve, right?

Forcing herself to her feet, Kara stumbled over the dresser across her room where the jar of the foul, frigid salve rested. She struck a match to light the candle beside it, illuminating the room enough so she could see herself in the cracked, faded mirror she typically kept on her bookshelf. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw a pair of swollen, red eyes on a sunken, splotchy face staring right back at her. 

Apparently, she looked just as bad as she felt. 

Kara pushed her hand through her hair and her sleeve of her cloak against her nose in a feeble attempt to make herself look less pathetic, but she didn’t need the dim light from the candle to tell her that it was pointless. Her chest clenched when she realized that the only thing that didn’t make sense about what had happened was that Lena had even talked to her in the first place. Lena was right. She was nothing but a daft, obstinate farmer’s daughter and pitiful, wretched one at that. Who could blame her for wanting to hide that for as long as she could?

When her breathing started to become erratic and sobs threaten to tear at her throat once again, she fisted her blonde hair and forced herself to take deep breathes before she lost herself again. Eventually, she felt calm enough to proceed. The flame flickered beside her as she tugged off her shirt, dropping it to the floor beside her. Pulling her frizzy mess of hair over her shoulder, Kara turned her back towards the mirror, craning her neck to get a good look at the aching lines on her shoulder blades.

They weren’t as horrid as they had been lately, but the scars had most certainly seen better days. She didn’t need Alex for this. It wasn’t as if she could screw them up more. Dark red scabs laid over the red tissue as they slowly attempted to heal after reopening, but by the way that they thick layer of scabs cracked, Kara had little doubt that they’d probably reopen again. And that, of course, meant she’d have to get more of that vile salve. Body odor was already hard enough to manage working on a farm and now with this added on, Kara had no doubt that every rancid smell that wrinkled her nose came from her. Not to mention that getting more meant going to see Winn – the person she had been intentionally been avoiding ever since he kissed her. As if she didn’t have enough on her plate right now.  
If she didn’t have these stupid scars, she wouldn’t have to be worry about any of this. She wouldn’t have this pain or have had to go to Winn or even had to lie to Lena. There wouldn’t be any blood-stained sheets, foul smelling salve, or painful sleepless nights. They wouldn’t remind her every day that no matter how happy or content she was in her life, she didn’t belong. That she was nothing but a burden. If they went away she would be normal. She wouldn’t have this overwhelming ache in her chest.

When she curved her arm over her back to touch them, Kara didn’t exactly have a plan in mind, but as she touched the raised, inflamed wound, her fingers became claws. Her frantic nails tore at the scabs, tearing them open and pouring fresh blood down her back, but she didn’t stop. Instead her movements became more erratic, scratching and flailing against them, ignoring the flares and twists of her muscles in agony that attempted to interrupt her. Screams and sobs tore at her throat, but she didn’t stop. She had to purge herself of this wound— of this sin – of this failure. It couldn’t be allowed to destroy anymore of her life. Her nails would have to do.

“Kara what are you doing? Kara stop!”

Cool hands attempted to wrap themselves around her wrists, but Kara jerked away, banging her hip against the dresser and knocking the faded mirror off with a clatter. Luckily, the candle remained upright and casted a flickering light upon her disheveled, but concerned sister. Apparently, Kara had been making more noise than thought. Still, this didn’t stop her. She had a mission and she couldn’t stop now.

“Go away!” Kara shouted frantically as she spun in circles with her head over her shoulder and nails dragging over her bleeding back. “Make them go away! Why won’t they just go away?!”

“Kara! Kara stop!” Alex exclaimed as she grabbed her sister’s shoulder, holding her still. “You have to stop.”

“It’s their fault!” Kara sobbed as she stilled under Alex’s grip and tears began to flow. “They did this! _They made me lose her!_ ”

The hands on her shoulder’s tightened and Kara’s legs suddenly felt too tired to keep her standing. Exhaustion and tears swept over her like a tidal wave, triggering her knees to buckle. If it weren’t for her nerves already being on edge or the already tight grip on her sister, Alex wouldn’t have been able to catch her. Despite her catch however, Kara’s dead, sobbing weight drug them both down to the hard floor. 

“Kara, calm down,” Alex insisted as she pulled her mess of a sister on to her lap. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” 

Of course, she said this before her hand touched Kara’s wet, sticky back.

“She doesn’t want me Alex,” Kara cried into her sister’s shoulder. “She doesn’t want me.”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Alex murmured as she held Kara’s head to her shoulder and pressed Kara’s discarded shirt against her back in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

But Kara only wept harder because after living so much of her life in deceit, she’s learned to not believe even the small, white lies.

\---

Kara didn’t sleep that night. In the morning, she left the house early to work in the fields away from her family. With fall not too far away, she thought now would be as good of time as any to start chopping and stacking firewood for the winter. Her family may prefer to use coal to heat the home, Kara wasn’t a fool. Coal was too expensive to just keep her and whoever happened to have the displeasure of keeping company warm. The Danvers may not be a fan, but Kara couldn’t bring herself to care about anything at the moment. Besides, it was only dead trees she cut down anyway. They burned better. And this way, she wouldn’t have to worry about anyone coming to talk to her. After everything from a bleeding heart to a broken back, she just desperately wanted to be alone.

That night, Kara climbed into bed with her back facing the door that way when Alex would undoubtedly come in to check on her, she would hopefully take the hint and not attempt to disturb her. They had changed her bandages before bed in silence and Kara desperately wanted to keep that for as long as she could. And when the door creaked and the floor groaned, Kara kept her eyes closed and body still until she heard her sister retreat. However, she remained still even after that. It hurt her back to move.

The tears only came when the stars brought her the same song they always did. This time however, she couldn’t tell where the selkie’s sorrow ended and her own began.

Kara’s sleep was fitful. Just short sporadic bursts amidst periods of wakefulness where she’d dream of either herself falling or drowning and then awaken with a jolt. By the time the first fingers of sunlight touched her face, she drenched in her sweat and tears, but she graciously welcomed the day regardless. It was easier to live in denial during the day.

Normally, this day was devoted to deliveries but remembering Lena’s request in her rage, Kara grabbed a shovel rather than her cloak. Leaving a brief note to Alex who would be up not long after, she left to tend to the fields intent on harvesting whatever carrots and corn that had ripened overnight. By the time Alex left for her deliveries, Kara was already deep in the fields pulling back clumps of dirt in search of whatever she could find to add to her basket and doing her best not to think about how those were both the vegetables that Lena loaded in her basket in the market that day she first spoke to her.

The sun had already passed its high point in the sky when Kara found herself digging in the shadow of something other than the scarecrow. Flicking her eyes upwards, she saw a frowning Alex with her arms crossed in front of her chest standing above her.

“What?” Kara asked, brushing the dirt off the latest carrot she unearthed from the ground.

“You didn’t come with me on the delivery route today,” Alex said, her frown only deepening.

“I left you a note,” Kara shrugged as she turned her focus back to rooting through the dirt.

“Kara…,” Alex sighed as she shifted her weight form one foot to the other. “We need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kara said, becoming more intent only finding another carrot than what her sister was saying.

“Kara,” Alex knelt down beside her sister, still Kara’s dirt covered hands by placing her own on top of them. “What happened the other night?”

“It’s nothing,” Kara mumbled as she pulled herself free from Alex’s hold.

“Did something happen with Lena?” Alex asked, triggering Kara’s nostrils to flare and her eyes to prickle. 

“No,” Kara mumbled with her head hung low.

“You didn’t go see her last night. You’ve seen her every night for over a week now. Is everything okay between you two?”

“What do you care?” Kara snapped. “You never liked her anyways.”

“Kara…” Alex sighed.

“What? You said it yourself. I’d only get hurt. Well, you were right. I was wrong. Go ahead. Gloat about it.”

“You know that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?!” Kara whipped her head up, her blue eyes flashing.

“Because something happened and you need to talk about it.” Alex stepped forward, gripping her sister’s shoulders as she spoke. “Please Kara, just talk to me.”

“I did talk,” Kara’s weak voice wavered. “I did exactly what you said. I told her what I was. And…” Her tears closed her throat before she could continue. 

“Oh, Kara,” Alex sighed, pushing away the blonde hair from her sister’s face to wipe the rolling tears away from her cheeks.

“What?” Kara asked, wiping her nose against the back of her hand. “I thought you’d be happy. There isn’t a Luthor in our lives anymore. Fire danger’s at all time low now. You don’t have to flinch every time you smell smoke in the air. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“Kara stop,” Alex said as she bent her neck so her eyes would be level with Kara’s dodging ones. “You may be right on somethings. Yes, I’m not a fan of her family and yes, at first, I really wished you were spending your nights with literally anyone else, but I saw what she did to you. She brought to life a part of you that I didn’t think was ever possible. And I’m not talking about your sexuality. I’m talking about how she made you happy and laughing and excited like I haven’t ever seen you before. It was like you finally whole again. How could I ever hate anyone who did that for my sister?”

Kara tossed her head back, doing her best to keep the water pooling in her eyes better contained, but lines still streaked across the grim on her cheeks. She opened her mouth, but only a strangled breath escaped before she tried again and met any sort of success.

“Then why does it feel like there’s a hole in my chest?” she whispered.

“Give it time,” Alex said her thumb smudged the dirt and tears across Kara’s face. “It will get better. It may not feel like it, but I promise it will. And I’ll be right here with you.”

“I just… I don’t…” Kara blinked back more tears as she struggled for the words. “I just don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am.”

“Listen to me,” Alex said softly as she pulled Kara’s head back down to meet her serious brown eyes. “You have never been or ever will be a burden, Kara Danvers. You have been nothing but a blessing ever since you came into our lives. And nothing – you hear me? Nothing—will ever change that. Not your dates, not your blood, not your _scars_.” She paused a moment so she could take a shaky breath through her tears. “You are not a burden. You are my sister.”

Kara lost count of how many times she cried in the past two days, but that was the first time she cried with someone else in the past three years. 

\---

Kara ate for the first time in almost two days that night. Her stomach still didn’t feel like it could handle much food, but Alex promised it would help her feel better. Eliza and Jeremiah both insisted, noting how frail and sunken Kara’s normally glowing face had become over the past few days. As the sisters cleaned up after dinner, Alex pressed a paper bag into Kara’s hands when her parents’ backs were turned. Apparently, while out on deliveries that day, she had been able to snag a few cookies from the bakery Kara always stared at while they passed by on their cart. While Alex had of course gotten the oatmeal raisin as she didn’t know any better, Kara still graciously accepted. Just the idea of Alex fumbling through a bakery order brought a smile to Kara’s face. Her normally endless stomach only let her eat one so she hid the rest of them in her sock drawer like the contraband they were.

Alex didn’t leave her alone for the rest of the evening. Not necessarily in a hovering way over her shoulder, but more like in a drifting way. When Kara moved into the living room to draw, Alex followed and sat on the other end of the couch with a book in hand. When Kara finished one cup of tea, Alex happened to finish hers soon after and offered to refill them both at once. When Kara’s mind drifted as her sketching slowed and eyes blurred, Alex nudged her foot against hers and offered a caring smile. While it wasn’t much, it made Kara realize that it wasn’t such a bad thing to be with others as she grieved. 

As the sky darkened and Eliza and Jeremiah exchanged their goodnights with their girls, Kara slowly gathered the will to get herself into own bed. Alex waited patiently, even after the point she would normally sneak out to go see Maggie, until Kara finally pulled herself up and shuffled off towards bed. Alex followed with a single candle in hand. Gingerly, she helped her sister remove her shirt and then gently unravel the bandages from her back. 

The scars didn’t look as bad as they had the other night. While they still held a nasty dark red color from the blood and a rim of light brown from the salve, they had been healing. Thankfully, they had stopped seeping blood which was unexpected after Kara’s day in the field, but neither were upset. 

“I think we should leave the bandages off this evening,” Alex said. “We want to make sure they get air.”

“Yeah,” Kara murmured, nodding slightly with her back to her sister as she held her blanket tight to her chest.

“I can redress them in the morning,” Alex said as she stood up. “Do you want me to open the window? It’ll help with the air flow and all.”

A lump formed in Kara’s throat but she quickly swallowed it. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Kara mumbled.

After the window was open with a cool breeze blowing in, Alex bent down to press her lips to her sister’s head.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” Kara whispered.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Alex smiled as she headed towards the door.

“Yeah,” Kara sighed as she watched her sister disappear behind a closed door.

She heard her sister leave, but Kara wasn’t entirely sure how long it took her finally drift off. She had been so tensed waiting for the stars to bring her Lena’s song that sleep caught her completely off guard. But the sweet sleep didn’t last for long. The song still came as it always did.

But this time it wasn’t in words Kara didn’t understand. In fact, it was just one word. One word that she knew very well. One she never thought she’d ever hear Lena say ever again.

“ _Kara._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL - The Song of the Stars and Sea has hit over 500 kudos!!! I'm amazed and flabbergasted and so immensely honored and grateful that like tears are happening. The fact that anyone has taken time out of their day to read 50,000 plus words of mine is astounding and I still don't believe it. And that people actually return for another chapter is mind boggling and such a humbling experience.  
> Ya'll are incredible and I could not ask for or even dream of a better audience.  
> Thank you


	19. Chapter 19

The wood of the dock protruded splinters into the sole of Kara’s feet as she clumsily padded across it. She had been in such a rush to get here that she had only grabbed her cloak and forgotten about shoes, so now she was paying the price. One sliver of dry wood had already wormed its way into her heel, making her walk with a slight limp. But Kara couldn’t bring herself to care about that right now. She couldn’t even bring herself to care to watch her step even after she stumbled over one of the uneven boards. No, her mind and gaze were solely locked on to the back of feminine figure cloaked in gray standing at the end of the dock. 

Lena stood with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, her pales fingers digging into her arms as the dock swayed ever so slightly from Kara’s movement behind as she approached the end next to her, but her eyes remained locked on the dark horizon before her. Her raven hair billowed out behind her, caught in a breeze that caught Kara’s breath. Her normally pristine complexion was now marred by dark purple bags under eyes and her pale lips were now chapped and cracked. Had her heart broken like Kara’s? The blonde’s grip tightened around her own wrist as she fought back the familiar urge to cup Lena’s cheek in her palm. It always fit so nicely there. Her cool temperature always seemed to melt against Kara’s hot skin. As if they were made for each other, but Kara knew better than to test those waters right now. There may no longer be a tempest raging in Lena’s eyes, but a subtle darkness still remained. Kara may have survived one of Lena’s storm, but she knew another one would certainly drown her.

“You came,” Lena said, her words breaking the uneasy silence though her gaze remained intent before her.

“Yeah,” Kara replied, her nails digging into her wrist and her head hung low as she intently stared at the swirls in the wood grain beneath her pale feet. “I, um, I heard your call.”

Lena’s nostrils flared a bit as she let out a quiet scoff.

“I suppose that is one thing you didn’t lie about,” Lena said.

“I didn’t—” Kara started weakly before she was cut off with the sharp wave of a hand.

“Don’t,” Lena said, her voice churning with a power with it that made the hairs on Kara’s neck stand on edge. “Don’t tell me you didn’t lie. I may not have explicitly asked and acted on assumption for the most part, but don’t you _dare_ say you didn’t lie.”

“That…” Kara whispered before swallowing the lump forming in her throat. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”

“Then what were you going to say?”

“That I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Lena’s jaw clenched and her pale fingers dug themselves into her arms. She didn’t respond, letting the waves and breeze full the tension of silence. Kara, not knowing what to say, began twisting her hands around the length of her wrist. Her head still hung low and, for a moment, she wished she was a selkie rather than an angel. Perhaps then she could find strength when she looked down at the ocean rather than looking up at the stars.

“A lie by omission is still a lie,” Lena said with an ever so slightly softer tone.

“I know,” Kara whispered. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Lena closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her grip on herself loosened ever so slightly.

“My life has been nothing but lies for the past three years, Kara,” Lena said. “You were only person I thought I could trust and then…” She exhaled sharply. “Then I discovered you were no different than the rest. A liar.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara mumbled. “I never meant to be.”

A sharp wind blew by them, causing a shiver to shake over the blonde and a hunch to curve her shoulders, but the brunette remained unfazed.

“Can I see them?” Lena asked after a moment. “Your wings.”

It was as if the cold waves under them had suddenly injected themselves into Kara’s veins. Her blue eyes widen with fear and shock as her arms swiftly wrapped themselves around her waist in a tight vice. With the low-cut back of her shirt and the lack of bandages, Kara suddenly felt more exposed than ever as just the thin material of her cloak covered her scared shoulder blades. The scars themselves flared and her heart stopped for a brief moment at the prospect of being put on display and witnessed by someone who didn’t carry the Danvers’s name. 

But this was Lena. The selkie without her skin. Couldn’t she, of all beings, somehow be able to care for the angel without her wings?

“Um, okay,” Kara whispered in a hoarsely as she barely abled her head to nod.

Her hands shook as she unwound them from her abdomen and brought them up to unfasten the ties of her cloak around her neck. If Lena made any response or movement, Kara couldn’t tell over the pounding of her heart or the blurring of her eyes. Despite her best efforts to keep to the breathing exercise Eliza taught her, her breath came out shallow and uneven, rising and lowering her chest at an uneven pace. When the tie finally came undone, the fabric slipped from her weak fingers and she lacked the reflexes to catch it. As the cloak pooled in a puddle behind her, Kara’s entire body tensed. Her breathing stopped and her eyes snapped shut. She was exposing her true self to the world for the first time and she never felt more pathetic or this close to death ever before. 

A sharp gasp left Lena’s lip and Kara felt the dock shift with movement. No doubt from Lena taking a step back. Kara’s fist clenched and back became even more rigid as she fought back the tears that she now brimmed with. But still a few drops rolled down her face. She had already lost her dignity and now it seemed as she had lost Lena too.

But then gentle hands were pushing aside Kara’s blonde hair, placing it carefully to the side over her shoulder. A gasp of her own left Kara’s lips. The touch was kind and hesitant; nothing like she expected or even dreamed. 

“I didn’t know,” Lena whispered from behind Kara.

“I didn’t…” Kara took a shuddering breath and repeated her words from before. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“May I…” Lena’s voice trailed off as if she didn’t know how to ask, but Kara knew exactly what she meant. 

After a slow exhalation, Kara bit her lip and nodded.

Her back went rigid as Lena’s finger tips grazed the bumps of Kara’s spine between her inflamed, scabbed over scars. While her touch was cold, goosebumps broke out across Kara’s back for a different reason. Still, Lena’s touch remained gentle and exploratory as she slowly ran the pad of her finger along the red, inflamed skin circling both wounds. Although, she didn’t run her fingers in the straight lines that Kara knew her slash-like scars were, but the when she realized Lena was outlining the fresh scratches Kara’s nails had carved the night before, she cringed, and Lena’s touch disappeared. A new burn laid in her gentle wake across Kara’s skin. As if it wasn’t enough for Lena to see how much of failure Kara was as an angel, now she had to see how much of a failure Kara was as a person. At least now, perhaps she could find comfort in knowing that she hadn’t caused Lena anymore pain. If anything, Lena would probably be thankful to no longer be bound in a relationship with someone who would never be more than just a wretched, pitiful burden.

But then, Lena’s palm pressed lightly against Kara’s back along her spine, in between her wounds. The normal numbness that the selkie’s presence brought turned into a rush of pleasure that brought a pleasant burn to her scars as if they had been brought in from the cold air and placed before a hot fire. When Kara’s spine instinctively rolled away, Lena swiftly removed her hand and Kara gasped at the sudden crash of cold as her back arched in attempt to find that heat once again.

“I’m sorry,” Lena whispered.

“It’s fine,” Kara quickly assured her.

While her head still hung low, Kara felt the dock sway ever so slightly and a light touch on her arm that coaxed her into opening her eyes to see Lena now standing beside her. 

“I’m so sorry,” Lena murmured, her hand curling to fist Kara’s cloak desperately, and Kara noticed that her eyes no longer held the fierce power from before but now a sad sea.

“It’s okay,” Kara said as she gently cupped her hand around Lena’s and offered a weak smile. 

But rather than getting the returning smile she had hoped for; a tear ran down Lena’s face instead. Lena’s sleeve wiped it away before the drop rolled very far, but the sorrow still remained on her face.

“I’m so sorry,” Lena repeated again as her hand dropped from Kara’s cloak and closed her eyes.

“It’s okay really,” Kara said as she cautiously touched Lena’s arm. “And besides, aren’t you the one that told me that I shouldn’t apologize for things that aren’t my fault?”

The selkie attempted to offer a pained smile as she sniffed her quivering nose and wiped away another tear with her sleeve. With a loud sigh, she looked up at the stars and rubbed her hands against her eyes and sniffled again. 

“The stars are bright tonight,” she said suddenly as she stared up at the sky. “You can even see some of the river of the Milky Way.”

“Um, yeah,” Kara said confused as she tilted her head back up and then pointed in the sky. “Oh, there’s the scorpion fishhook beside it.”

A brief smile danced on Lena’s lips before her expression clouded and dropped.

“What are we doing, Kara?” 

“I, um,” Kara sighed as her hand fell. “I guess I just hoped that things would return to how they were before. Between us, I mean.”

“Things won’t ever be like they were before,” Lena murmured. 

Tears pricked Kara’s eyes and a chill washed over her. She opened her mouth for a moment to utter a plea or argue, but quickly shut it. What good would that do? She had screwed enough as it was. If anything, Kara had learned that Lena deserved far better than anything Kara could ever hope to give her.

“I’m really sorry, Lena,” Kara said as she bent down to grab her cloak that still laid in a heap behind her. “I never meant to hurt you, but that still doesn’t make things okay. I—” she cleared her throat to rid it of the thick lump forming. “I want what’s best for you. Even if that means I’m not there.”

Kara carefully wrapped the cloak back around her, careful to avoid accidently injuring her ever-healing back. She fastened it slowly and pulled her hair out, unable to find the strength to go any faster or manage even a look in the direction of the selkie behind her. It wasn’t until she was about to turn that she wondered if she even had the strength to make it up to Comet or even off the dock. Thankfully, a cold, pale hand wrapping around her arm stopped her.

“I sing my songs almost every night,” Lena started carefully. “In part, they are for me. They’re a way I can express myself and find some semblance of freedom in this… _hell_.” She gritted her teeth before pausing and closing her eyes for a moment before sighing and continuing. “But they’re also for those I love. My family. My friends. The ones still within the sea that I was stripped away from.” She hung her head and let out a sad sigh. “Next to our skin, they are the most sacred part of our kind. No one is supposed to hear them but us.”

“Lena, I swear I don’t mean to,” Kara swiftly assured her. “I don’t—”

“No,” Lena shook her head. “You don’t understand. No one is supposed to be able to hear them except us. Just selkies. Even those without skins. Perhaps, maybe someone else could if they were next to me when I sung them, but not miles away. That is _impossible_.”

“But I hear them,” Kara whispered.

“But you hear them,” Lena sighed as she dropped her hand and brushed it over her head. 

“Lena,” Kara mumbled as her fingers fidgeted with the trim of her cloak. “I don’t know what with this mean.”

“I think it means you were right,” Lena said, her eyes flicking down to Kara’s. “We’re bound to one another somehow. I don’t know how, but somehow.”

Kara’s eyes widened and her cloaked dropped from her hand. While the cold from before may have left her, all she could feel now was numbness and the pounding of her heart that threated to shatter her completely.

“You mean…”

“Things can’t necessarily be like they were before,” Lena explained. “There are things we’ll have to work through. And it’ll take me time before I feel like I’ll be able to trust you again. You can’t lie to me again.”

“That’s okay,” Kara quickly said, taking a step towards her. “I promise I’ll be completely honest with you. I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. I trust you.”

Lena’s lips dipped in a frown, furrowing her brow and saddening her eyes, as she slowly lifted her cold hand to cup Kara’s hot cheek.

“You shouldn’t trust so easily, farm girl.”

\---

The front door closed with a soft click as Lena attempted to sneak into the Luthor Manor without notice, but of course, living in a home of witches made that difficult. She had learned some methods and strategies over the years, but she had also learned that she could never be too careful. So, when she heard the creak of the wooden stairs behind her, she knew she hadn’t been careful enough.

“Don’t be quiet on my part,” Lilian said as she descended the stairs with candle in hand. “I was just up wondering when my beloved daughter would return.”

Lena ducked her head and folded her hands behind her. 

“Forgive me, mother,” she muttered.

A humorless laugh escaped Lillian’s lips as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Oh, how I love that you only call me that when you’re frightened,” Lillian said, gripping Lena’s chin so she couldn’t look away from her vile eyes and vicious smirk. “Never spoken with an ounce of love. And here I thought we had turned over a new leaf.

“Now—” her hold on Lena’s face tightening – “has my daughter successfully made up with her little girlfriend?”

Lena’s jaw clenched, but she knew better than to try to fight. Still, her fists clenched by her sides and her eyes darkened from their normal green.

“Yes, mother,” she mumbled through gritted teeth. “I’ll be seeing her again tomorrow night.”

“That’s a good girl,” Lillian said, her cruel smirk only growing, flashing her own teeth towards the selkie. “An angel is just what we need.” She loosened her grip so she could run her sharp nail down the side of Lena's chin. “Now, just keep stringing her along and you’ll have your skin back by the end of the month.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some of y'all have been asking about what Lena's song is and while I don't have like a go to link, that part of the story came from listening to Celtic Woman's "Homecoming" on a loop for several days, so I would encourage y'all to check them out. They have a wonderful cover of Dúlamán which I definitely recommend.  
> Also I added the "Angst with Happy Ending" in hopes that y'all don't hate me


	20. Chapter 20

Kara stood outside the wooden door longer than she cared to admit. Thankfully, no one came by as her fingers slowly chipped away the peeling paint on the small porch, doing her best to work up some semblance of courage in her heart. Eventually, the paint stripped away and Kara’s nails dulled, leaving her with no other alternative. With a deep breath, Kara gripped the worn knob in her hand and pushed the door open, her presence announced with a familiar tinkling of bells.

Immediately, the musky smell hit her, but rather than the comfort it normally brought, the odor only brought further distress. Her pulse thrummed in her head and her hold tightened all the more on the woven basket in her hand. Her blue eyes flicked and darted across the small, crowded apothecary, searching for that familiar face she dreaded finding, but also missed so much. Since the door was unlocked with the open sign in the window, she had been fairly certain that he had been here, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“Winn?” she said rather softly, the creaks of the floor boards drowning her out as she slowly shuffled her way towards the counter.

She was just about to leave when she realized the slumped over figure on the desk was her friend. Her eyes widened and heart stalled as she raced over to him. Was he hurt? Did someone hurt him? Did he hurt himself? Honestly, all the possibilities proved equally likely especially with the people and experiments that passed through his shop. Still, she should have been here. If she hadn’t wasted so much time waiting outside the door, she could have helped him. She could heal small wounds, but nothing so big that it would incapacitate. What kind of sad excuse of angel was she if she couldn’t even protect her friend?

As she approached him, she saw that he was still breathing and his shoulders rose and fell in an even pace. But had his skin always been this pale? It may have been only a few days since she last saw him, but she struggled to remember what exactly he looked like. And of course, her racing thoughts and pulse did little to help clear her memory either. Her qualifications for worst friend of the years just continued to pile up.

“Winn?” Kara said. “Can you hear me?”

Tentatively, she reached out and shook his shoulder. Still, he didn’t respond. His breathing seemed normal, but why was he unconscious? Was his heart rate normal? She should check his pulse. Kara stopped her fingers as the reached for him. What was she doing? She wasn’t a doctor? She should just go get one. But what if they saw something unnatural Winn had left out? She didn’t know any magical doctors. Winn was her magical doctor. And who knew what book he was currently passed out on. She couldn’t risk people seeing this. She needed to do something. 

Checking a glance at the still closed door, Kara looked back down at her palm. She may have been a sad excuse for an angel, but she was still an angel. And her friend needed her.

Wrinkling her brow in concentration, Kara pulled deep from inside herself. A hum floated across her lips as it always did when she drew from this side of herself, but she delved deeper still. She summoned the side of herself that she normally locked away, the side of her that resided in the base of her scars on her back, and let it flow. Her jaw clenched and hand fisted as the throbbing from her back flared and coursed through her body, but she remained firm. She had to do this for Winn. Her breath caught and a sweat broke across her brow, but when a dull light began emanating from her fist, her nostrils flared in concentration and she moved her trembling arm towards Winn's slumped form. Gritting her teeth in effort, she placed her radiating hand on the clammy flesh of her friend’s neck and prayed for him to wake.

And wake he did.

As soon as Kara touched him, Winn jerked violently as if he had been struck, falling off this chair and scurrying back until he was pressed against the wall. Kara lost whatever hold she had on the light in her hand, snapping back as if she was in a daze and stumbled back. Winn's chest now heaving, his heart rate spiking, and his eyes wide as they darted around the shop before landing on his blonde friend. His jaw swung open and shut several times before he successfully spoke a word.

“Kara? What the hell!”

“I’m sorry!” Kara exclaimed as she stepped towards him, instantly regretting it when she saw him flinch. “I’m so sorry! It’s just I came in and I saw you slumped over, and I thought something might have happened, and I just wanted to try and help and I’m so sorry.”

“What did you do to me?” Winn asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I, uh,” Kara cleared her throat and crossed her arms behind her back. “I tried to heal you.”

“Heal me? Kara, your hand was glowing.”

“Yeah,” Kara mumbled as she slowly brought her hand in front of her.

“Has that ever happened before?” 

“No,” Kara shook her head. “I was just really scared I was going to lose you.”

“Kara…” Winn sighed as he pushed himself off the ground. “I was just taking a nap. Business was slow and the reading was dull. I’m not dying or anything.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Kara said, her head hanging low and her hand coming to brace her weight on the table in front of them as she suddenly felt herself start to become lightheaded.

“You know, I think you might have fixed my back actually,” Winn said, arching his back but lacking the familiar pops of his vertebrae. “It hurt like hell before, but now, I don’t feel a thing. Like I knew you could heal things, but you never told me about this.”

Yet Kara was having a hard time listening. Her lightheadedness had made it difficult to concentrate on anything besides keeping her balance on her ever-increasing wobbly legs. One hand brace herself against the desk while the other formed a death grip against the back of the chair.

“Um, do you mind if I sit down?” Kara asked.

“What?” Winn’s eyes widened as he saw the blonde start to sway, and he swiftly grabbed his chair for her. “Oh yeah, here. Sit here.” 

Kara fell into with a thud and held her head in her hands as she waited for the world to stop spinning. Her breath came out in gasps as she tried to steady her already accelerating pulse. She didn’t even notice Winn’s quick departure and return. 

“Here,” Winn said as he pressed a cool, damp cloth against her forehead and an apple in her hand. “Eat this. You probably need to get your blood sugar up. There’s some water in that cup next you too. Drink that so you stay hydrated.”

“Thanks, Winn,” Kara offered a small smile as she pressed the cloth firmer to her flushed face and nibbled on the apple in her hand. 

“I sometimes get like that after I cast a big spell,” Winn explained. “Powers can be draining, but I’ve found those things help a bit.”

And he was right. Her vision had already started to clear alone from getting off her feet, and the water and apple certainly seemed to be helping too. Of course, she couldn’t help but think that a cookie or a slice of cake would increase her blood sugar much faster, but who was she to complain? As she leaned back to relax in the seat, a flash of pain coursed through her, causing her to jerk forward and the apple to slip from her grip.

“Are you okay?” Winn asked, his hands instantly out to offer help.

Kara gave a tight nod as she shimmied forward to the edge of her seat so she could lean her weight on the table in front of her.

“I just forgot about my back, that’s all,” she explained through gritted teeth. 

“Oh,” Winn said, bending down to pick up the half-eaten apple. “Is the salve not working?”

“It is,” Kara said as she pressed the cool against the back of her neck as she hung her head. “There’s just been some, um, complications.” Her cheeks reddened in shame, but she decided he didn’t need to know all the details about her finger nail's contribution to the problem. “They got worse for a while, but they seem to be doing better now. They just hurt a bit, that's all.”

“Do you think they reopened?”

“They already have, but I don’t think they did just now, summoning all that power. No, this is just a soreness now. Kind of like a bad bruise rather than deep cut.”

“Oh,” Winn handed the apple back to Kara. “Is that why you’re here then? Do you need more salve?”

“Yes,” Kara said, twisting the stem off the apple in her hand. “But I also wanted to talk.”

Winn’s posture immediately went rigid as he took as he took several steps back as he jammed his hands in the pockets of his trousers. He suddenly found the tops of his shoes absolutely riveting and refused to look at Kara in front of him so all she saw of his head was his dark hair.

“Kara… I don’t know—”

“I’m sorry.”

Winn’s head snapped up to meet Kara’s pleading gaze while his own wrinkled in confusion.

“You’re sorry?” he asked. “Why are _you_ sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I led you on,” she explained as water ran down her hand as she tightened her grip on the damp cloth. “I mean, I didn’t realize it, but I should have. Alex saw it clear as day. Between the hints from both of you, I should have put it together, but I didn’t and I only caused you more pain. And for that, I’m so sorry. But I just thought you were being friendly. I can't believe I was so stupid or so blind.”

“Kara stop,” Winn sighed as he closed his eyes for a second. “Stop beating yourself about this. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who should have said something rather than… you know. If anyone’s apologizing, it should be me.”

“I still feel bad about it,” Kara said. “I mean, I’ve been avoiding you for days. What kind of friend is that?”

“One who does know how to handle when their friend wants to be more than just that,” Winn pulled the stool out from under the table so he could sit on it. “Look, Kara, I’m sorry. I should never have put you in that sort of situation. It wasn’t fair of me. And I never want you feel like this is a ‘date me or leave me’ ultimatum either.”

“But if this is hurting you—”

“No,” Winn shook his head. “That’s not what friends do to one another. Yes, rejection sucks and it really stung in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean I want to throw away our friendship. You still mean a lot to me. I mean, like yeah, it’ll probably take some time before we’re back to normal and it’s going to be awkward, but I definitely don’t want to lose you over this.”

Kara gave him a weak smile. 

“Thanks Winn.”

“No problem Kara,” Winn returned the smile as he leaned back against the wall. “And who knows, maybe, just maybe, over time, you’ll come to appreciate my boyish good looks and lovable charm, and you’ll be the one trying to make a move on me.”

“Yeah, um,” Kara said as she thumbed the page of the open book in front of her. “I don’t know about that.”

“What?” Winn asked as he playfully puffed out his chest and flexed his nonexistent muscles. “You think you can resist _this_ forever?”

“Trust me when I say this, Winn,” Kara said as she looked up at him. “It’s not you it’s me.”

“What do you mean?” Winn asked, frowning as his body deflating to his typical slump.

“Well, for starters, I’m kind of, um, already with someone,” Kara said as blush came to color her cheeks.

“You’re dating someone?!” Winn exclaimed as he shot to his feet.

“Well, we haven’t exactly put labels on it,” Kara’s cheeks only reddened more as her fascination with toying with the pages in front of her grew. “But we see each other almost every night, and I like to think it’s going somewhere.”

“O my gosh, you _are_ dating some!” Winn exclaimed again he ran his hand through his hair. “How long has this been going on?”

“About two weeks.”

“Two weeks?! And you didn’t tell me? Oh, gosh,” Winn suddenly fell back into the stool; his face turning beet red beneath his hands. “I kissed you. I kissed you while you were dating someone else. Oh, that just makes this all so much worse.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kara assured him by placing a hand on his knee. “You didn’t know.”

“Who is it?” Winn asked through his fingers. “Who's the guy who's gonna come here to kick my ass?”

“Um, well that’s the thing,” Kara’s hand fell from his knee to twist the damp cloth through her fingers. “It’s not a guy…”

“What?” Winn’s hands fell from his as he sat up straighter, trying to understand. Kara decided the best method for this would be to wait, and after a few seconds, his eyes widened and jaw fell open. “Wait... you’re gay?”

“Yeah,” Kara said as she rubbed the back of her neck and gave him a nervous smile.

“Huh,” Winn’s back fell back into his slump. “Is it wrong if I say that makes me feel better about the whole situation? I mean, it’s literally a you and not me problem.”

“Winn...”

“No, no, not like _that_. It’s just, ugh,” Winn pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s just, it’s easier to forgive myself for falling for my gay best friend than just my best friend. I know that sounds weird. Like I don’t mean anything against you or her or anything. I could care less what orientation you were. Well, I mean, I guess I kind of do since I wanted to date you, but I'm not like gonna judge you for it anything. You do you. Or her in this case. Wait, I forget I said that. I don't wanna know. It’s just… ugh. I’m sorry. I just have a fragile male ego, okay?”

“Winn, it’s fine,” Kara said, offering him a genuine smile this time as she patted his knee again. “I don’t mind. Anything to get my friend back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me though? I mean, you told about your heritage a long time ago. I thought we closer than that. Please don’t’ tell me I ever made you think I’d judge you for this.” 

“No, no, of course not. It’s just… it’s complicated.”

“Why? Who is she, anyway? You never told me that part.”

“She’s, um,” Kara gulped before looking down at the dirty wooden floor beneath them. “Lena Luthor.”

Winn almost fell from his seat for the second time that night.

“ _Lena Luthor_?” Winn echoed. “Are you insane?! Oh God. Lena Luthor’s gonna kick my ass. No, she’s going to kill it. She's going to kill _me_.”

“She’s not what you think,” Kara quickly assured him.

“She’s a witch, Kara.”

“No! Wait, well,” Kara fumbled over her words. She loved and trusted Winn but what Lena was remained Lena’s secret to tell. “You’re a witch, Winn, and that’s not so bad.”

“Yeah, but not a Luthor witch,” he fisted his hair in his hands. “They have some serious power. They cross lines I wouldn’t dare near.”

“Yeah, I know,” Kara sighed with a deep frown. “Alex told me what they did with the Henshaws.”

“That’s not even half of it,” Winn’s eyes became pleading and fearful. “They practice dark magic. I’m not talking about little things like divination or hexes. I’m talking the worst kind: _blood magic_.”

Kara’s heart skipped a beat, but she wasn’t quite sure why.

“What?”

“Blood magic,” Winn rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants as he stood up. “That’s how they control the weather, the people in this town, everything. I don’t know how exactly, but whoever or _whatever’s_ blood they’re using is how they control most of this town.”

Kara’s heart skipping heart plummeted into her stomach. The cut on Lena’s palm. The one she refused to talk about. The one that had been there since the last full moon.  
Since the night that the stars didn’t bring her a song, but screams.

“I’m saying this as a friend, Kara,” Winn continued. “You need to stay away from them. They’re not safe.”

“I think I need to go,” Kara mumbled as she pushed back from the desk to stand up. “I need to talk to Lena about this.”

“Woah, careful,” Winn rushed forward as Kara swayed on her feet a bit. “You need to take it easy. You’re still pretty drained.”

“But I need to talk to her,” Kara insisted even as she leaned against Winn. 

“Kara…

“I know her, Winn. She’s not like that.”

“Okay, okay,” Winn sighed as he held her up. “Just wait a little bit, okay? Let me make you something. I don’t trust you to stay on a horse right now.”

“Yeah,” Kara sighed, sinking back down on the chair in an effort to stop the world from spinning. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I think I have a potion that’ll do you some good,” Winn said rubbing his chin. “And I think I have some more of that salve in the back. Oh, and I want you test out what I have so far on that memory draught for you.”

“What?” Kara asked, her forehead wrinkling as she looked up at her friend. “You still worked on it?”

“Well, yeah,” Winn said. “I mean, I said I would so, why wouldn’t I?”

Kara stared her friend in front of her and realized that her vision wasn’t blurring from exhaustion or dizziness but tears. Despite her wobbly legs and balance, she threw herself forward at her friend.

“Thank you,” Kara said as her arms circled a death grip around his neck. “Thank you.”

“Woah, take it easy,” Winn said as he stumbled backwards and patted her back. “That’s what friends are for. Now sit back down before you hurt one of us.”

\---

Kara was already grabbing her cloak to minutes after Eliza and Jeremiah bid goodnight. Her anxiety had only amplified after she had left Winn, even with the potion that he gave her. She just had to get to Lena. After almost losing her so recently, the idea of losing her again made her skin crawl and head spin. Of course, that last part could always be after effects from earlier, but she wasn’t about to let that stop her. Lena was too important for her to worry about that now.

When she opened her bedroom door however, something else entirely stopped her.

“Alex?” Kara whispered, confused as Alex typically left the house earlier via her bedroom window. Kara would have done the same, but while Alex stepped through the bushes and plants surrounding their house with a silence style, Kara clomped through them with a clumsy crunch.

“Hey,” Alex whispered, bracing herself against the door frame with her arm that effectively blocked her sister from leaving. “There was something I wanted to ask you real quick?”

“What?” Kara’s eyes flicked towards her Eliza and Jeremiah’s door, but let out a breath when the light from underneath the door went out.

“I was wondering if you would possibly, um,” Alex stared at their feet as she ran her hand through her hair. “If you would possibly want to meet Maggie?”

“Oh,” Kara’s eyebrows shot up. Her sister most certainly wasn't one to open herself up like this. She couldn’t even recall the last time she had even formally met one of her sister’s dates. “Um, yeah, I would love to.”

“Really?” Alex looked up, her cheeks red. “I was thinking it could be like a double date kind of thing, and we could just kill two birds with one stone, you know? I mean, no killing of course…”

“Of course,” Kara smiled. 

“I mean, it’ll probably be a little awkward,” Alex rubbed the back of her neck. “A werewolf, a dryad, an angel, and a witch walk into a bar. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, right?”

“Yeah,” Kara laughed lightly, but her face fell slightly. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”  
“What? Oh no,” Alex quickly assured her with a shake of her head. “I figured that’d be something you’d want to tell. It's your secret after all.”

Just like Kara would wait for Lena to clarify her selkie identity. 

“But is that a yes?” Alex asked as a small smile formed on her face.

“Yeah, I mean I think so,” Kara said. “I’ll have to ask Lena.”

“I was thinking for tomorrow if that’s not too soon,” Alex shrugged. “I mean, I figured we’d both be hanging out with our girls anyway. Might as well do it together, right?”

“Yeah,” Kara laughed. She couldn’t help but smile brightly when she thought of that raven-haired beauty has her girl. “I’ll be sure to let you know the verdict in the morning.”

“Great,” Alex beamed as she stepped to the side. “I’ll let you go then. Oh, and be safe. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Don’t worry,” Kara flashed her sister a grin over her shoulder as she fastened her cloak. “Lena’s pulled me out the last two times I’ve drowned. I trust her to do it again.”

“Wait, what? Kara!”

But Kara had already run out the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just need their date nights to resume so I can keep throwing in excessive amounts of plant trivia.  
> But most unfortunately, I'm not sure when the next update with be coming. Freaking Florence decided to be a little bitch and head this way so here I am just sitting here waiting for the inevitable power outage that'll last an indefinite amount of time. Upside, I'm about to be on waterfront property. Downside, GATORS. So yeah...  
> But seriously, if y'all could just shoot out a prayer for the Carolinas. I can say with great authority that we have no idea what we're doing, but everyone here's too stubborn to admit it and too spiteful to leave. In short, we're gonna die.  
> Still, thank y'all so much for reading and leaving your comments. They're pretty much what I live for right now. I couldn't have asked for anyone more wonderful or kind or passionate


	21. Chapter 21

Even though the waters were calm, the dock rocked just as badly as it did during a storm for Kara who, although walked slowly, drifted left and right with every other step as she tried to correct herself. She grasped her bag tightly to her chest as her steps became slower as her feet became more difficult to lift as she dragged them across the dry, splintering boards. Kara barely even noticed the pale gray figure swiftly approaching her.

“Kara, are you okay?” Lena asked as she held her hands out to catch Kara as she swayed.

“I think I need to sit down,” Kara said, her words coming out breathless and slurred.

“Okay, then we’ll sit,” Lena said, holding Kara steady by her forearms as she gently eased her down to the wooden dock.

“Thanks,” Kara sighed as she slumped her head against Lena’s shoulder and closed her eyes, letting herself escape her spinning sight and get lost in the salty sweet scent of the selkie.

Lena’s shoulders deflated as exhaled and her arms wrapped protectively around Kara as she looked over the blonde for any signs of trauma, but found none. Craning her neck to the side so she could see Kara’s face, Lena gently brushed the hair off her cheek, scanning her face for any sort of clues, but besides the usual bags underneath Kara’s eyes and her weary expression, Lena saw none.

“Kara,” Lena said carefully. “Are you drunk?”

“I don’t drink,” Kara mumbled.

“Oh,” Lena said, her hand rubbing Kara’s arm as she held her against her and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Is that an angel thing?” She added after a moment of hesitation.

“It’s an alcohol tastes disgusting thing,” Kara corrected as she pulled her head back from Lena, holding her forehead up by her hand. “Ugh, I just need the world to stop spinning.”

“Just breath,” Lena said, her hand reaching up to cup Kara’s cheek. “Deep breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.”

Kara did as she was told and took the chance to lean into Lena’s touch. The corners of her mouth lifted as she exhaled from both the cool touch on her face and the memory of doing a much similar exercise with Eliza years ago. But the breathing seemed to be working and the world gradually returned to stillness or something close to it.

“Thanks,” Kara said still resting her face in Lena’s hand. She had missed her touch for too long to want to lose it now.

“Kara, what’s going on?” Lena asked, her forehead wrinkled in concern. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Kara assured her, placing her hand over Lena’s. “I just… overexerted myself today, and I guess it’s still affecting me.”

“Doing what?” Lena asked.

Kara looked down and felt her cheeks color as she mumbled, “Trying to raise the dead.”

Lena’s green eyes widen, her hand and jaw dropping. 

“You can…” she whispered.

“No, absolutely not,” Kara swiftly explained. “Not even close. I mean, I don’t think so. I just heal. Like small things usually. But today I tried healing something much bigger and it just didn’t do anything but exhaust me.”

“Is everyone alright?” Lena asked, concern returning to her face once more. “Were they still able to treat the injury?”

Once again, Kara’s gaze dropped and her cheeks reddened.

“No one was injured,” Kara said, biting her lip. “I just overreacted.”

Lena stared at her for a moment, blinking, before she leaned her head back and laughed. Kara moved her head off Lena’s now shaking shoulder, blushing through a smile as she watched in one of her rare moments of seemingly pure joy. Despite the fit of laughter, Lena had never looked so peaceful.

“Oh, farm girl,” Lena sighed, reaching to grasp Kara’s hand. “Only you.”

“I’m glad you find my mistakes amusing,” Kara teased, squeezing the hand in hers.

“I don’t mean it like that,” Lena smiled. “I mean only you would push yourself to the point of fatigue to help another without a second thought.” Lena’s smile began to waver as a wave of something akin to sadness washed over her gaze. “It’s one of the many reasons why I don’t deserve you,” she added as her grip tightened on Kara’s hand.

“Hey,” Kara said softly, looking up at Lena. “Don’t talk like that.”

“But it’s true,” Lena murmured.

“No,” Kara protested as she placed a kiss on the back of Lena’s hand. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with but you.”

Lena offered a weak smile before letting her hand with Kara’s fall back on to Kara’s lap. She stared at it for a moment before turning back towards the waves gently lapping at the side.

“I’m sorry,” Lena whispered so softly that Kara almost didn’t hear it over the breeze.

An uncertain frown creased Kara’s face as she studied the selkie in front of her. When Lena said that things wouldn’t be the same between them, this wasn’t at all what Kara had thought she meant. Kara thought she would have been the one who was constantly apologizing, not giving reassurance.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Kara assured her with a smile as she adjusted her hold on Lena’s hand so her fingers could intertwine with hers.

She meant it as an act of reassurance. The last thing she expected was for Lena to jerk her hand away with a gasp.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said quickly, her blue eyes shining as she saw Lena look away and cradle her hand against her chest. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I swear.”

“It’s fine,” Lena whispered as she let out a shaky breath. “You didn’t know.”

Kara leaned forward but caught herself. Immediately her mind went to the cut that laced across the selkie’s pale skin and her mouth went dry as she realized she knew too much. And after how Lena reacted the last time she found out Kara knew more than she was letting on, she knew better now than try to keep it a secret. She wouldn’t repeat her same mistake.

“Lena, I—” Kara started to say before she interrupted.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t like things in-between my fingers,” Lena explained in one breath.

Kara blinked.

“Wait, what?” Kara asked with furrowed brow and openmouthed. 

“They used to be webbed,” Lena whispered as she clutched them to her chest tighter.

The blonde’s face fell into a deep frown and her heart fell into her stomach. Gingerly, she scooted forward slightly and slowly reached out her hand, holding it open in front of the selkie who, after a moment, relinquished her hold on her cloak and timidly placed it in the angel-half breed’s awaiting palm. With greater care and caution Kara had ever seen a dryad use when lifting a delicate flower, Kara cradled the cool hand in her own as she gently maneuvered it so she could see not just the scabbed cut along her palm but also the red, worn lines along the inside of Lena’s pale finger from where Lillian must have cut all that time ago. A lump formed in Kara’s throat as she realized she had noticed them before, back to that first night when they waited out the storm in that old barn, and still she had been too self-centered to even bother mentioning it. She had been too focused on her own scars to care for Lena’s as she should’ve.

“Just one of the costs of living with the Luthors,” Lena weakly mumbled.

And once again, Kara’s heart broke upon hearing those words.

“My offer still stands,” Kara said in a broken whisper, her hold on Lena’s hand tightening. “You can come back with me. We can run away together. Please.”

A small smile stretched across Lena’s trembling lips as she blinked back tears. With one hand still secure in Kara’s comforting grasp, Lena raised her other to the woman’s face across from her, her scarred fingers brushing the blonde hair aside in a loving gesture.

“For as long as she possesses my skin, I’m still bound to her,” Lena murmured and gave Kara’s hand a soft squeeze. “For better or for worse.”

“At least let me heal it, please. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I can try.”

Lena gave a small scoff with a smile as she cupped Kara’s cheek.

“Says the girl who couldn’t even make it down the dock because she was so drained from using her angel magic healing powers from earlier? I don’t think so.” Lena said as she rubbed her thumb against Kara’s cheek. “I value your well-being too much to lose you now. And besides,” Lena’s gaze and tone dropped. “Lillian'd only cut them off again. I may be able to use shoes to hide the webbing between my toes, but there isn’t an excuse for why a supposed witch would have such webbed fingers.”

Lena’s hand in Kara’s lap tense and Kara’s blue eyes swam in threat of tears and her nostrils flared when she saw that familiar cut along her palm there, but not in frustration towards Lena but in hatred towards Lillian. For a split second, the fatigue and lightheadedness disappeared as if they were never there, and a fire and lethal strength filled her with a craving to watch the witch’s flesh burn before her and feel her bones snap beneath her fingers. She wanted to hear how loud she could make the bitch scream. To see how long it would take for her to condemn her own son. To feed off her groveling and tears. To taste her sweat and blood in the air. She had to pay for what she’s done. The scars on her back flared and a snarl curled on her lips, but then the cool touch against her cheek tensed and it all left her in a rush, leaving her slightly dazed and confused.

“Is everything alright?” Lena asked, her green eyes darting around Kara’s now weary face.

“Hm? Oh, yeah,” Kara insisted with a quick smile before put her hand over Lena’s resting on her cheek, gripping it tightly in fear it would leave and she’d find herself lost in those horrid thoughts again. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked, leaning back slightly as her eyes looked almost fearful. “That look you had…I’ve seen it before, but I didn’t think it was possible on you.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kara assured her, squeezing her hand in hers before guiding it over so she could place a kiss on Lena’s palm. “I’m just worried. I absolutely hate that you’re trapped with her.” Her hold on Lena’s scared hand tensed. “I can’t imagine what you go through.”

“No,” Lena whispered her gaze dropping. “You can’t.”

Even though Lena’s hold loosened, Kara refused to let go. She couldn’t. Not when Lena was like this. Not when she was closer the imagining what Lena was going though than Lena knew.

“Lena…” Kara bit her lip. “I know about the blood magic.”

Lena head snapped back up to Kara, her eyes and nostrils wider than Kara ever thought possible. She pulled her hands away and out of Kara’s grip so she could wrap them around her front, her scarred palm burrowing deep inside her cloak and out of sight as her other arm curved around it. Her pale throat bobbed as the fear in her expression from earlier returned in tenfold.

“How?” she rasped as she blinked. 

“My friend, Winn, runs the local apothecary,” Kara explained. “He’s a witch and he told me that’s why the Luthors were so powerful and I remembered the cut on your palm and I put and two together…”

She stopped talking when she saw Lena shudder and look away. Kara reached out to rub her knee, but Lena pulled away, hunching her shoulders as she curled in on herself as her neck craned to the side to watch the gray waves around them. 

“A selkie’s blood is one of the most powerful magic from land or sea,” she whispered. “I only know of one other creature that possess blood stronger than ours.”

“Lena…”

“Kara please,” Lena plead with a shudder as she closed her eyes. “Please don’t make me talk about it.”

“Okay,” Kara whispered as she crept forward slightly. “Just know I’m here, okay? I’m right here.” 

When she laid her hand on Lena’s shoulder, she flinched at first, but soon relaxed. They sat like that together in silence for a while, barely moving expect to adjust themselves on the slightly swaying dock. Lena’s remained fixated on the waves while Kara’s stared into the night sky above with its night bears and waxing crescent shining down. With the gentle rock of the waves and the stars twinkling overhead, Kara found herself become quite relaxed, but when the stars and their constellation began to dance, she didn’t notice that it wasn’t the waves causing her sway.

“Woah, careful,” Lena said as she grabbed Kara by the shoulders to hold her steady. “I would prefer it if you didn’t take another dive.”

“Ugh, sorry,” Kara groaned as she shook her head in an attempt to shake the dizziness. “It just seems to come in waves.”

“You should have stayed home,” Lena said as she smoothed the blonde hair off Kara’s forehead. “You need to rest.”

“But I wanted to see you.”

“I’ll be here tomorrow, farm girl,” Lena leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against Kara’s temple. “Now I’m just going to worry about you making it home. Did you at least bring some snacks to help with energy?”

“I, um,” Kara bit her cheek and looked down. “I didn’t think you wanted me bringing snacks anymore.”

Lena was quiet for a moment before she exhaled and her cool hand rubbed Kara’s shoulder.

“I didn’t mean what I said before,” she said. “I… I was angry and I said a lot of things I regret from the heat of the moment. And I’m deeply sorry.” She gave Kara’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “I would love nothing more than trying whatever fruit you have for me.”

“Are you sure?” Kara asked looking up. “I mean, I understand if you don’t want to. I know how most of it didn’t appeal to you with the sweet and tart tastes and all.”

“I liked those pomegranate seeds,” Lena reminded her. “And those last fruits you brought me especially.”

“Really?” Kara said with a growing smile.

“Of course,” Lena affirmed with a nod. “Scubadongs are quickly becoming my new favorite fruit.”

“Scuppernongs.”

“Oh, whatever they’re called. I want more. They’re quite delightful and I can’t find them anywhere.”

“Can we continue reading too?” Kara asked. “I really liked Hamlet even with that ending and I have that whole volume…”

Lena grinned. 

“Absolutely! I’ll turn you into a Shakespeare scholar yet.”

“Really?” Kara said as her face brightened with excitement. “Great because I already started on the next one after Hamlet and it’s really good. I think it’s called Othello.”

Lena’s elation and grin collapsed with a hard blink.

“What?”

“Yeah that story with Iago and Othello and they’re in Venice,” Kara explained as she cocked her head to the side. “Iago’s kind of a jerk, but Othello seems cool. He has that really sweet wife, Desdemona. I like her.”

“I know the play,” Lena interrupted.

“Oh,” Kara’s face fell at Lena’s tone. “Do you not like it? After all that chaos with Hamlet, I thought it’d be a nice love story.”

“Shakespeare doesn’t have nice love stories.” Lena said as she shook her head “And this is probably his worst one.”

“Oh,” Kara mumbled. “I thought Desdemona and Othello loved each other.”

“They do, but,” Lena sighed as she turned her gaze to the stars above them as her grip absentmindedly tightened on Kara’s shoulder. “It’s just easy to manipulate those who are in love.”

“We don’t have to read it, Lena.”

“No, it’s fine,” Lena said with another shake of her head. “I chose last time so it’s only fair. Besides,” Lena offered a tight smile, “maybe it’ll give us some perspective.”

“Yeah,” Kara genuinely smiled back. “We’ll know what to look out for, right?”

Lena’s throat bobbed, but she kept the same smile on her face.

“Right.”

“Great! Oh, and sorry, I meant to tell you sooner, but my sister invited me out with her to meet her girlfriend tomorrow night.”

“Oh,” Lena frowned, “so, you won’t be here tomorrow then?”

“Well, yes, but I was hoping you wouldn’t be either. I mean, she invited you to. Like as a double date.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh.” Lena blinked. “So, you told her about us.”

“Yeah, is that okay?” Kara’s voice started to become faster and higher with every word as she rubbed her sweaty palms on her thighs. “I mean, I know we haven’t labeled this or anything, but she told me about Maggie and I wanted to tell her about you. Of course, I didn’t tell her everything about you like what you are or anything, but I still wanted her to know that I like you. I mean, she was hiding her girlfriend and I didn’t want her to think I was hiding mine. Not that you are my girlfriend. It could just be like my friend that’s a girl—”

“Hey,” Lena cut her off by holding her face steady with a hand on each cheek. “I’d love to meet your sister and her girlfriend.”

“Really?” Kara asked, her pulse calming as the corners of her mouth quirked up.

“Yes,” Lena paused a slow smirk spread across face. “But only as your girlfriend.”

“Really?!” Kara squealed before coughing and clearing her throat. “I mean, I think we can make that work.”

“Good, but can we work out the details later? Because I really want to kiss my girlfriend right now.”

A thrill shot through Kara as a wave of blush swept over her. Her stomach tightened as her eyes fell to Lena’s lips. Her _girlfriend’s_ lips.

“I think we can make that work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all - I'm really sorry about how late this chapter is. I wrote a one-shot (highly recommend A Simple Favor if you haven't see it. I'm still drooling over Blake Lively and her pantsuits) and then had all this hurrication make up work and ugh. I'm glad things are back to normal. On a side note, I've had so much coffee lately that I now have a Starbucks gold card so now I've officially made that transition from white trash to white girl. I'll keep you updated on whether this a good or very bad thing (spoiler: it's a very bad thing).  
> Again, thank you for reading this and just continually being the awesome people you are. I know I wouldn't have gotten this far without you and I will forever be grateful. Thank you


	22. Chapter 22

“Are you sure you just don’t want to follow me?”

“It’s not like it’ll make much of a diff- AH!” 

Kara swore loudly as she jerked her foot back from the stump she had just rammed her toe into. In a wild throw of her arm around her, Kara attempted to find something to grab on to for balance, but thankfully, a hand came out and wrapped around her arm and another to her shoulder for support. Kara leaned into the hold, using it to the best of her ability to help in brushing off the added dirt and rubbing the now sore spot. This wasn’t the first stubbed toe of the night, and with the way things were going, she doubted it’d be her last.

“I offered to let you follow me.”

“Oh, shut up, Alex,” Kara snapped as she lowered her foot back to the ground. “I’d run into the stumps and shrubs anyways after you stepped over them. We all can’t let plants be our guide, you know.”

“Well, just walk slower then,” Alex said. “And try to watch where you step. You’ve already trampled dozens of innocent wild flowers as it is.”

“It’s not like I can see anything,” Kara replied. “Because God forbid we take a horse or follow a road or anything.”

The pain in her back flared as Kara pressed on after the crunching steps of her sister over the dead leaves and sticks. Reaching back to rub the scars over her shirt, Kara stumbled over more ground, barely catching herself before she snubbed her toe again, as they traveled further into the dark forest.

“This way’s faster,” Alex said as she turned her head over her shoulder. “Hey, is your back okay? Should we have dressed it before we left?”

“What? No, it’s fine,” Kara insisted as she rolled her shoulder. “It’s just been acting up lately. Like I won’t notice it at all and then it’s all I can think about, you know?”

“Is that what’s been keeping you up at night?” Alex asked. 

“How did you—”

“It’s kind of hard not to hear your screams,” Alex explained with squeeze to her sister’s shoulders. “Especially since we share a wall.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It’s just my nightmares are getting worse. It used to just be me falling, but now…I’m covered in blood.” Kara shuddered before adding in a whisper, “blood that I know is not my own.”

“Oh,” Alex said as she pulled both of them to a stop. 

“It’s fine,” Kara said with a shrug and attempt to brush off her sister’s hand. “I’m sure it’s nothing. I mean, they’re just dreams, right?”

“But you keep having them?”

“Yeah, for a couple weeks now.”

“You don’t think…” Alex stopped short and shook her head. “Never mind.”

“What?”

“You know what, just forget I said anything,” Alex insisted, raising her hands up and turned to continue on. “Just act like it never happened.”

“Alex.” 

Kara may not have been able to much in the dark forest, but she still managed to stop her sister by grabbing her arm.

“Look,” Alex sighed. “All I’m saying is that none of this seemed to start until Lena.”

“Alex,” Kara groaned. “I thought you were past this.”

“I’m not saying it is because of her, but—” Alex pushed her short hair back with her fingers. “She just might be involved. Her last name is still Luthor.”

“Her name is _Lena!_ ” Kara snapped, her eyes flaring as the same rage from last night gripped her once again for a split second.

“Kara?” Alex asked turning her head towards her sister, her brow furrowed and eyes squinting in through the darkness.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered as the anger faded as fast as it came, but her pulse still pounded in her head and chest just as hard. 

“Is everything okay?” Alex asked cautiously.

“I don’t know,” Kara whispered as she braced her hands on her knees in an effort to slow her beating heart. “But can we please not talk about this? At least not right now. I just want everything tonight to go well.”

“Yeah,” Alex murmured as she tentatively placed her hand reassuringly on her sister’s shoulder. “We can talk about this later.”

\---   
They made it to the pub not too long after. It was small establishment on the edge of town. It sat across the street from an inn along the main road that bypassed their town, meaning most of the customers were either traders or drifters. The chances of anyone recognizing them at the bar were slim to none which was why Alex and Maggie often frequented the place. Alex told Kara that Maggie had likely already gone in a claimed a table, but she failed to mention the little addition to their double date.

“Mon’s here?” Kara gasped as she grasped her sister’s cloak. “You didn’t tell me he’d be here.”

“I didn’t know,” Alex replied, her wide eyes fixed on Maggie who only offered a simple shrug in response from across the room.

“Oh gosh, I can’t do this,” Kara said.

“Yes, you can,” Alex insisted, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “I thought you and Mon were friends.”

“We are. It’s just…” Kara ran her fingers through her blonde hair. One werewolf was enough. She couldn’t risk their keen sense of smells picking up on the fact that neither her nor Lena were who they said they were. Not to mention, Mon just tended to make things more complicated even if he didn’t mean to. “What if they don’t like her? I don’t want her feel like she’s out numbered.”

“You’re over thinking it,” Alex told her with a smile. “Everything’s going to be fine. Besides, just get her to knock back a few drinks, and she’ll fit right in. It looks like Mon’s already had a couple himself.” She added with a nod of her head.

Kara looked at Mon again and noticed how he sat sprawled out on his booth with several empty pints in front of him. When he saw the sisters looking, his face brightened and he began frantically waving not just his hand, but whole arm as he really put his back into it. Anyone else would have been embarrassed to be sitting at a table with him, but Maggie just rolled her eyes and took another sip of her beer.

“Come on,” Alex said with a tug of her sister’s hand. “They’ve seen us so there’s no turning back now.”

Kara shuffled after her as Alex drug her the booth. As they walked through the crowded bar, heads turned and Kara wanted nothing more than to pull her hood up over her face to hide. The scars on her back prickled, acting as a continuous reminder of how Lena still wasn’t here yet despite the sister’s already late arrival.

“Hey sweet tree,” Maggie greeted with a bright smile as Alex slid in the booth next to her, her arm automatically wrapping around the red head.

“Please don’t call me that,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes but an equally bright smile as she leaned into her girlfriend’s hold, her own hand hooking around Maggie’s thumb that lay slack on her shoulder.

“What? Really? Do you know how long it took me to come up with that?” Maggie groaned. “All my hard word down the drain.”

“You can call me sweet tree if I can call you love puppy.”

“Oh, now that’s just cruel.”

“That’s love, babe,” Alex grinned as she tilted her head and leaned it forward so her lips could meet Maggie’s for a kiss that quickly became something a bit more than just a simple peck.

“Can you believe that?” Mon asked Kara with an exaggerated wave of his hand. “Right in front of me. Freaking Team Dogwood at it again.” He shook his head. “Hey! If you two are gonna be doing that, then take it outside.”

“Oh, we intend to,” Maggie purred as her nose ghosted along Alex’s red hair. 

“You have officially earned worst girlfriend of the year,” Mon declared, pointing an empty mug at her.

“Where’s Imra, Mon?” Alex asked, clearing her throat and smoothing a hand over her hair while shooing away Maggie’s persistent advances.

“She’s out of town,” Mon frowned, flicking a balled-up napkin across the table. “Her dad needed help with a delivery or something, and I’ve never been so bored.”

“Or thirsty, apparently,” Alex said nodding at the empty mug.

“Yeah, I ordered those for you two,” Maggie sighed as she sunk back into the booth, giving up on her quest for more public displays of affection with the red head. “But apparently, I was too much of a bore to Mon so he decided to entertain himself with this ridiculous challenge.”

“They say werewolves can’t get drunk,” Mon said with a grin. “I wanted to test that theory.”

“With beer _I_ bought.”

“And still buying,” Mon raised his mug in the air to signal to the barkeep to bring more.

“I’m not carrying you back home, you know. Wherever you pass out, I’m leaving you.”

“Even if it’s in the middle of the road?”

“ _Especially_ if it’s in the middle of the road.”

“My love,” Mon gripped his chest, “how you wound me.”

“Why is it you two that sound like the old married couple?” Alex asked, her finger moving to intertwine with Maggie’s.

“That happens when you live with anyone long enough,” Maggie replied.

“That’s pack life for ya,” Mon said, eyeing the rest of the beer remaining in his last pint. “Oh Kara, how’s your back doing?”

The same surprise shocked through the sisters’ bodies and made their wide-eyed stare instantly lock on to one another. Alex tilted her a bit to the side, but Kara minutely shook her head in response. The scars on her back flared upon mentioning, but Kara could count the number of people who knew about them on one hand and only one of those people were in this tavern. At least people she had told anyways.

“What, what about it?” Kara asked in a high stammering voice.

“Well,” Mon interrupted himself to swallow another mouthful. “Wasn’t there that farming accident or whatever a few weeks?”

“Farming accident?” Maggie sat up straighter and looked at Alex. “You didn’t tell me there was a farming accident.”

“I um...” Alex started, but thankfully Mon cut her off.

“Yeah, it hurt Kara’s back or something,” he explained. “And I accidently messed with it a while back at Winn’s when I tried to hug her. I’m still sorry about that by the way.”

“Oh yeah,” Kara’s eyes widened as she remembered. “Yeah, no, you’re fine. It’s still healing though, so yeah, maybe less hugs.”

“Wait, what happened?” Maggie asked, her head turning from Kara back to Alex. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“It was nothing,” Kara attempted to assure her. “It was just a stupid accident. Alex is fine. It was my fault anyways.”

“You know I have some medical training, right?” Maggie asked Kara. “I can look at it for you. Back injuries can be a pretty serious thing.”

“I’m fine really,” Kara insisted. “Winn and Alex have got it taken care of. I promise. Really.”

“But it’s still giving you problems,” Maggie said. “Mon said it was weeks ago and you haven’t leaned your back against the booth night. If it was weeks ago, you should be doing better by now.”

“I um…” Kara stammered, her shoulder blades only flaring.

“Don’t worry about it, babe,” Alex said, squeezing Maggie’s knee. “I got it taken care of. Really. It’s no big deal.”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed, but she didn’t press the issue any further.

“Do you think I can make tower from stacking up these mugs?” Mon asked, oblivious to anything but the empty pints in front of him.

“They’re glass, Mon,” Kara said.

“All the better to show how tipsy I really am,” Mon said as he reached for the glass, but Maggie snatched it away.

“I’m not cleaning glass out of any wounds tonight,” Maggie said, giving Mon a look that made him pout.

“But how will I prove whether I’m drunk or not?” Mon groaned.

“By the hangover in the morning like everyone else,” Alex said as she picked up her own mug. 

“Hangover? Pssshhhh,” Mon said with a wave of his hand and spit. “Silly dryad. Werewolves don’t get hungover.”

“Wait, really?” Kara asked.

“Of course not,” Maggie said with a small smirk. “It just takes us a lot more.”

“And I’ve now decided to humbly take up that challenge to find out just how much more tonight,” Mon said before throwing back the rest of his beer and then slamming the empty cup down on the table. “Another!”

“I’m guessing it’s going to be a long night,” Kara groaned, resting her head on her hand.

“It’ll help if you order a drink,” Mon suggested. “Drunks are always more fun to other drunks. But I’m always a hoot.”

“Yeah, and I’m buying,” Maggie told Kara with a smile. “Get anything you want.”

“Thanks, but Kara’s never really been one to drink,” Alex said as the waitress arrived with a tray of pints. “She’ll probably just stick with water.”

“No, it’s okay,” Kara said as she reluctantly passed a mug over to Mon. “A beer would actually be great.”

“Oh,” Alex cocked an eyebrow. “What happened to the taste issue?”

“Nerves override taste sometimes,” Kara told her sister with a tight smile who couldn’t see that her sister’s fingers had already twisted themselves into knots beneath the table.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Maggie said, nodding to the waitress to write down the order. “Should I order another one for…” she waved to the empty space at the end of the table, “your date?”

“Uh, yeah,” Kara’s brow furrowed slightly. “And a water please, if you don’t mind.”

The waitress nodded with a smile before walking away with a tray full of empty mugs courtesy of one thirsty werewolf.

“Oh yeah, Kara’s got herself a _girlfriend_ ,” Mon teased as he picked up his new mug, his eye brows dancing over the rim. A sharp thud follow and Mon swore beer sloshed from his mug and down his shirt. “Hey! What was that?”

“Be nice,” Maggie said with firm eyes. “The poor girl’s already red enough as it is.”

And of course, this only made Kara blush harder.

“Ignore them Kara,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes and a gentle nudge of her foot against Kara’s leg. “They’re always like this.”

“Someone’s got to keep him in check,” Maggie said. “I can’t let Mon drive everyone into drinking.”

“But I apparently can’t stop Maggie from spreading everyone’s legs,” Mon mumbled before sipping his drink.

Kara may have been too stunned to do anything more than blink, but her sister sure wasn’t. Alex’s brown eyes flashed the red of her hair, her jaw clenching as she arched forward across the table towards Mon. Kara’s gaze flicked down towards the balled fists by Alex’s side where her soft skin flickered into a red, rough bark. It was a wide spread belief that dryads were peaceful, passive creatures, which they typically were, but those people who held that belief had never met Alex Danvers.

“What did you just say?” 

The even tone of Alex’s voice made the hair on Kara’s neck stand on end. If it weren’t for Maggie’s hand on her shoulder, Kara was certain Alex would have lunged across the table.

Still, from Alex’s words and look alone, Mon choked on his drink.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I swear!” Mon insisted frantically holding up his hands while beer dribbled down his face and staining his shirt. “I’m sorry. It was a joke I swear. I didn’t mean it.”

Alex’s eyes remained flaming red and her fist remained curled wood as she stared down the werewolf in front of her. That combined with Maggie’s added glare crumpled Mon’s drunken state into one of submission. With a small whimper, he lowered his head, exposing his neck to them both. After several beats of tense silence, Maggie relented and gently pulled her girlfriend back against the booth with her. Kara watched as Maggie whispered something in Alex’s ear while rubbing her thigh that slowly made the stiffness leave Alex’s shoulders and the pale color return to her hands.

Quite honestly, the waitress couldn’t have brought Kara’s beer at a beer time.

“Thank you,” Kara mumbled. 

She quickly took a swig only to start coughing at the taste. She set the mug down with a clink on the table and wiped her sleeve over her mouth. As the silence and tension seemed to continue, Kara feebly attempted to stifle her persistent coughs. While the cough was annoying, Kara was grateful for the personal distraction.

“So, when’s this girl of yours getting here?” Maggie asked Kara calmly, her hand still rubbing Alex’s thigh.

“Um, I’m not sure.”

Kara slowly scanned the room while the crossed her fingers under the table in hopes that Lena hadn’t arrived. The last thing she needed was to introduce a Luthor into this tension. But as luck would have it, her eyes landed on that familiar gray cloaked figure walking in through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry again for the later update. Midterms coming around so of course I've become more lazy and taken too many naps. Why am I like this?   
> Once again, thank y'all so much for taking the time to read this. I'm truly honored and blessed and I hope that I finally supplied on the Sanvers content somewhat. Let me know! And thank you again!


	23. Chapter 23

Kara stood up from the booth, her gaze fixed on Lena. Everyone else’s head followed, and even with Mon’s confusion and Alex’s hard squeeze to Maggie’s hand, Kara couldn’t help the small smile that stretched across her lips. She crossed the room, waving her hand in front of her to get Lena’s attention, smiling all the wider when she did. When her hand slipped into Lena’s cool touch, she let out a soft sigh as the pain in her back faded away. 

“Hey,” Kara murmured as she bent down to press a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek.

“Hey,” Lena smiled before her grip tightened on Kara’s. “I thought it was just going to be us and your sister and her date.”

“Me too,” Kara groaned as she pushed her hair back. “But Maggie brought him along. He’s the one she’s fake dating.”

“Wait, he’s a werewolf?” Lena’s voice dropped to a whisper.

“Yeah, but I assure you, he’s perfectly harmless. I’m pretty sure he’s scared of both Maggie and Alex. He’s already almost peed his pants once tonight because of them.”

“That’s still two werewolves, Kara,” Lena said, her eyes wide. “And I don’t exactly smell like a witch.”

“You'll be fine,” Kara assured her with a small smile and a wave of her hand. “Mon’s too drunk to notice and I don’t really think Maggie will notice anything with Alex around. They’ll probably barely even notice you’re there.”

“Yeah? Then why are they both staring at me?”

Kara looked over her shoulder and noticed Maggie’s alarmed stare and Mon’s slacked jaw. A blush creeped over Kara’s face as she ducked her back down.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Kara,” Lena whispered.

“Yes, you can,” Kara said as she squeezed her hand again. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

Lena’s green eyes flickered away from the table towards Kara’s blue. After several seconds of searching, Lena exhaled loudly, her shoulder’s sagging. 

“Alright, let’s just get this over with,” she mumbled in surrender.

“I’m sure they’ll love you,” Kara said, a grin stretching across her face as she tugged the selkie forward. “And I’ll be right there with you every moment along the way.”

“Promise?” Lena asked, the hard Luthor façade on her slipping for a brief moment.

“I promise,” Kara squeezed her hand. 

The blonde led the selkie behind her, their hands still firmly grasping on another in a hold that not even a werewolf rage or dryad fury could break even if the fingers weren’t intertwined. While Kara may have put on a bravado for Lena’s sake, she could barely make out the sounds of the bar around her over the racing pulse in her ears. If it weren’t for the small smile her sister offered her, Kara would have fallen into a crumbling mess. Especially under that cold stare Maggie casted their way. But Kara only held Lena’s hand harder. She mattered more than what they thought. 

“Hey guys,” Kara said in a wavering voice before she cleared her throat. “So, this is Lena. Lena, this is my sister, Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Lena greeted, holding out her pale, scarred hand. “Kara’s told me so much about you.”

Alex visibly swallowed before stretching her mouth in a faked, pained smile.

“Likewise,” she said, giving Lena’s hand a quick shake before dropping it.

Lena’s face hardened slightly as she let her hand fall to her side. Something dark flickered behind her green eyes, but Kara wasn’t sure if it had just been cast from the flame of the lamp of them.

“And this is her girlfriend, Maggie,” Kara introduced.

Maggie gave a smile that made Alex’s look genuine and short wave of two fingers. Lena returned it with a sharp nod.

“And that’s Mon, a friend,” Kara continued. Mon’s jaw remained slack, his eyes bulging, as if he couldn’t move. “Sorry. He’s a bit incapacitated at the moment. He’s had about one too many.”

“From what I can see, it looks more like five too many,” Lena noted, eyeing the several empty pints in front of him.

The corner of Kara’s mouth twitched as she squeezed Lena’s hand that Lena had refused to let go of.

“Do you want the booth?” Kara offered. “I can pull up a chair at the end and sit there.”

“No, it’s fine,” Lena assured her as she grabbed a wooden chair from the empty table behind her and pulled it to the end. “You’re already settled. I’ll just sit here.”

“Okay,” Kara slid into the booth as Lena sat down, her head turning to the side as if she were looking for the quickest exit. “I, um, ordered you a water. I hope that’s okay.”

“Hmm?” Lena’s attention snapped back and her gaze fell towards the glass in front of her and a small smile flickered across her lips. “You know me too well, farm girl.”

Kara ducked her head slightly as a blush crept across her cheeks.

“You can also have some of my beer if you want,” Kara offered nudging the mug towards her. “Or we can always ask the waitress for something else.”

“I thought you didn’t drink.” Lena frowned.

“I guess some people are just full of surprises tonight,” Maggie mumbled with raised eyebrows as she reached for the pint in front of her. It was Mon’s, but he didn’t object.

“I don’t plan on finishing it,” Kara explained, ignoring Maggie. “It tastes even worse than I remember.”

“Have you ever tried wine?” Lena asked, eyeing the dark liquid in the mug. “It tastes much better. And it seems more fitting since, you know. Perhaps you could try just waving your hand over this.” She gestured to the water in front of her.

Alex slumped forward as she coughed on her drink. Maggie gave her a questioning look, but Alex shook her head and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her cloak. Kara gave Lena a tight smile and Lena’s eyes widened as she realized what she had let slip. She leaned her head against her hand as she discreetly mouthed an apology to Kara. As the silence progressed, Lena relented and reached for the mug of Kara’s offered drink and began nursing it with a surprising tolerance that even had Maggie raising an impressed brow as Lena set down the empty mug.

“So, are all Luthor’s gay?” Mon said out of the blue, breaking the record awkward silence.

Lena was fortunate she didn’t have any drink left because she would have surely choked. 

“What the hell are you talking about Mon?” Maggie asked giving him a look from across the table.

“Oh, come on,” Mon said, his voice rising in defense. “Even if she does kids, Lillian’s a known visitor of the brothels. And don’t act like you haven’t heard the rumors surrounding her son. He’s known for bewitching men cities over. And now this one here’s turned Kara.”

“No one’s turned me, Mon,” Kara said, her eyes narrowing on the werewolf beside her. “I’ve always been like this.”

“Whatever happened between you and Winn, then?” Mon asked, turning his head to look at the blonde. “I thought had a nice thing going.”

“What thing?” Kara’s brow wrinkled. “There was never a thing going.”

“Didn’t stop you from kissing him though,” Maggie added as she reached for her drink.

Kara’s eyes widened and swiftly turned into a glare directed at her sister who looked sheepishly down at her lap. The scars on her back flared as she felt Lena’s hand slip from her grip.

“Winn? Your apothecary friend?” Lena asked, her thin eyebrows raising. “You didn’t tell me you two had a history.”

“We don’t,” Kara assured her, her hand sliding on to Lena’s thigh under the table. “We’re just friends.” Her head turned to glare at Maggie. “And he kissed me. I had nothing to do with it.”

“Makes sense,” Maggie said as she took a sip from her drink, unfazed by Kara’s tone or glare. “Witches are known to be fickle and impulsive with their love lives. Supposedly they have a new conquest every week or so.”

“As opposed to werewolves who mate with whomever their parents tell them to.” Lena said, her gaze hardening to resemble more of the Luthor they thought her to be.

“You don’t understand,” Mon said, his drink setting down against the table with a hard clink. “We can’t disobey the Alpha.” His head dropped. “Especially when he’s my dad.”

“Wait, you’re Lar Gand’s son?” Lena asked, her eyes widening.

“That’s me,” Mon said with a jerk of his thumb towards him followed by a large swig.

“So, you’re the next Alpha?” Lena asked, her gaze drifting to soak in Mon’s average build and the pile of mugs in front of him.

“Ha!” Mon let out a loud laugh as he slammed down the mug in front of him, the brown liquid sloshing out. “That’s a laugh. My dad would kill me if I ever challenged him. Besides, I’m not exactly Alpha material anyways. Everyone knows the next Alpha is going to be Non. That bastard’s just lurking in the shadows waiting for the perfect time to strike. And then it’s off with our heads.”

“Wait what?” Kara sat up straighter and looked at Mon. “What are you talking about?”

“Non comes from an Alpha line that ruled the pack before Lar Gand took power,” Maggie explained. “In comparison to Alphas before him, Lar Gand is pretty liberal considering he only killed the Alpha and spared his family. It’s arguably his greatest weakness.” Mon shot her a look but Maggie stared him down until he relented. “Non however still stands for the same conservative and traditional values his family did before him, and he has made it clear that he intends to reinstate those values and laws that have since gone lax under Lar Gand’s reign.”

“So, in other words, he’ll kill my parents then most likely kill me for being part of the previous Alpha line,” Mon explained, running his thumb along the rim. “Even if by some miracle he does spare me, as soon as I ask about marrying Imra, I’ll be killed.”

“Same with me if he finds out about Alex,” Maggie added softly as she leaned her forehead against the side of Alex’s head and deeply inhaled her cedar scent.

“You can’t be serious,” Lena said after a beat of silence, her green eyes darting between Mon and Maggie. “Surely there must be someone else to challenge him.”  
Maggie scoffed and shook her head. 

“It’s not that simple,” she said. “No one else is willing to go into the challenge at the risk of their life.”

“Why not you, then?” Lena replied. 

Maggie’s attention flickered from the red head beside her to the brunette, her gaze irritated and hard, but Lena returned the look with as much force.

“Female are not permitted to challenged Alphas,” Maggie said.

“There is nothing in written in werewolf law that states that,” Lena replied.

“Don’t act like you know the rules of my kind, witch,” Maggie barked, her eyes flashing and her teeth clenching.

“If you have as much to lose in this relationship as you say you do, then I see no other alternative,” Lena said, her tone calm but her expression fierce. If it weren’t for the tight grip she had on Kara’s hand under the table, Kara wouldn’t have known it was merely a bravado.

“Guys, guys!” Alex said holding up her hands between the both of them. “Chill. We here as friends, okay? Can we at least try to get through at least one round before killing each other?”

“I’m putting money on your girl. She looks evil, but scrappy.” Mon whispered rather loudly into Kara’s ear. “Unless it’s a full moon. Then Maggie’d probably tear her ass apart.” 

Kara shoved Mon away, but his smile only fell when he made eye contact with Alex then Maggie across the table. As Kara went to squeeze Lena’s hand reassuringly, she felt Lena’s cool hand slip away. She shot her a questioning look, but Lena only shook her head as she looked down the edge of the table in front of her.

“So, how’d you two meet?” Maggie asked as she leaned back against the booth and swished her finger back and forth between the supposed dryad and supposed witch.

“The, um, market,” Kara said after her and Lena exchanged a quick glance. No need to tell them about the incident at the docks and the storm.

“Yes, the Danvers were selling my family supplies,” Lena added. 

“So just a normal business deal?” Maggie raised an eyebrow. “I guess one you left some sort of impression to be remembered through that.”

“Yeah, she did,” Kara smiled towards Lena as her hand came to rest on Lena’s thigh. “As soon as I heard her voice.” 

Her shoulders relaxed slightly when Lena returned a small smile and her cool palm came to rest on top of Kara’s hot hand.

“So, the Luthor thing didn’t send up any red flags?” Maggie asked.

And just like that, the tension and sting returned to Kara’s back as Lena’s hand fell away.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Kara asked her tone harsher from the ache of pain in her back and twist of anger in her chest.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Maggie bit out.

“Babe, calm down,” Alex said, resting her hand on Maggie’s shoulder.

“No,” Maggie’s eyes narrowed on Lena’s emotionless expression. “Don’t act like you don’t know what this bitch is responsible for. Do you know how many werewolves have gone missing over the years? And don’t you dare try to deny it because we know it’s because of you. We just can’t do anything because we don’t have any proof, but we know. Not to mention how many of us have been injured because of those blasted storms you all summon during the full moon. And we haven’t done shit against you.”

“Maggie,” Alex repeated quieter this time.

“And you’ve killed the Henshaws,” Maggie growled and Alex turned away. “You killed a family of innocent dryads. They didn’t do anything wrong but you burned them and their fields regardless. I don’t even know what else you’ve done to other kinds, but I can’t imagine it’s any better.”

Lena returned Maggie’s glare with one only learned from Lillian herself as she held her chin high, but she didn’t say anything.

“You’re not a witch but a monster.” Maggie spat out.

“Well, I suppose I can’t argue with you there,” Lena replied in an even tone as she stood up. Only Kara could see her hand shaking before she tucked it away out of sight. “And I’ll take that as my cue to leave. Farewell.”

Lena swiftly turned on her heel and dodged her way through a crowd as she made her way towards the door. Kara would have followed right away but she couldn’t seem to make her limbs work over her seething anger. 

“What the hell was that?” she managed to choke out to Maggie from across the table. 

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Maggie retorted, her brown eyes rimmed with amber. “She’s a monster Kara. That’s why her name is Luthor.”

The now familiar rage bubbled up in Kara as her scars burned and the back of her hand connected with the glass mug in front of her as she slammed it against it and launched it against the wall across from them. Her enhanced strength normally used to lift crates caused it shatter on impact, littering glass along the floor and a silence among the bar. Slightly sedated but still fuming, Kara left the booth too. Her boots crunched over the shards as she made her way outside. The anger didn’t seem to full release her until she saw a gray cloaked figure struggling to untie her black horse from a post.

“Lena!” Kara called as she raced over. “Lena, I am so sorry.”

Lena shook her head. 

“I shouldn’t have come,” Lena said, her voice strained as she held back tears. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“She didn’t mean it,” Kara said raising her hand. “She doesn’t know you.”

“She was right though,” Lena said as she pulled furiously at the knot in the reigns. 

“No, you can’t –”

“I am a monster, Kara!” Lena shouted as she spun back towards Kara. This time, however, it wasn’t rage or even a deadness in her eyes but tears. She took a shuddering breath, pushing the dark hair out of her face before her twisted face of wretchedness looked at Kara’s. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. She tried again, but only more tears and silence followed. Her foot stamped on the ground as her hands curled into fists in her dark hair that only looked more wild and unruly by the second. “I’m… I’m…” The words still seemed to catch in her throat which only made Kara lean in closer, but Lena step away further. “I’m a murderer.”

“What?” Kara whispered, her outstretched arm dropping.

“I’ve killed people,” Lena took a shuddering breath. “You have to understand, selkies are taught to see humans the same way you do flies. They were just pest you tended to ignore and swat away, but wouldn’t think twice about killing them every now and then. I didn’t know…” Her hands tightened in their grip and her eyes became even more unfocused. “There were these fishermen. They had these really big hooks with barbs – harpoons. And they were aiming them at the humpbacks and… no one should ever hurt a whale. They are so smart and kind and sing such lovely songs. There’s nothing more innocent in the ocean. We were about to swim away when I heard one of the whales cry out and then the water turned red around us. I still remember that iron taste from it in my mouth. This kind, sweet humpback who hadn’t done anything to them bu they still stabbed her. So, I turned back. If the sea was to turn red then it would be by their blood, not by hers. I surfaced just long enough to grab on of them and held him down long enough for his feet to stop kicking. I didn’t realize… I didn’t realize what I had done until I came on land. Until I lost my skin.”

“Lena…”

“I didn’t kill those werewolves or those dryads like Maggie said,” Lena said, her gaze returning back to Kara’s. “I’m not a Luthor, but I’m still a monster.”

“No.”

“You shouldn’t be with me, Kara,” Lena said, her head hanging. “You deserve better. I’ll only hurt you.”

“No,” Kara said again, stepping forward so she could reach Lena’s arm. “I know you Lena, and you’re not a monster.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? I killed someone Kara. Someone who are just doing their job and didn’t know any better. That makes me a monster.”

“You didn’t know any better either.”

“He had a family! Friends! And I took that away from him.”

“That made you a monster then, but that guilt makes you human now.”

“Stop! Stop trying to comfort me.” Lena jerked her arm out of Kara’s hold. “You need to just leave me alone. For your own good.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kara stepped forward holding out her arms. “I’m not leaving you.”

It was then that Lena realized two things: that Kara Danvers was a fool, and that Lena was hopelessly and completely in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll! I'm so sorry this took so long. Life and school have been so unbelievably hectic. I wish I could say that I would return to a more regular updating schedule, but I don't want to lie. I hope everything is going well with y'all and that only great things come your way because y'all are awesome and deserve it.


	24. Chapter 24

“Kara, I really do think it’d be best if I just waited outside.”

“No, please don’t,” Kara said, gripping the cool, pale hand tighter in her own. “I promise it’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Lena asked. “You said that about the last friends of yours that I met, and you saw how that turned out.”

Kara’s nostrils flared at the memory.

“That’s not…” she ran her fingers through her blonde hair as she took a calming breath. “Winn’s not like that. I promise you. He’s been so supportive and understanding through all of this.”

“So supportive and understanding that he deemed it fit to kiss you?” Lena arched an eyebrow as her lips frowns.

“That was just a misunderstanding, I swear. We just got our signals mixed up.”

“That must have been one hell of a mix up.”

“Hey,” Kara tugged Lena to a stop just before they reached the clearing behind Winn’s apothecary. “He just messed up. He misread me, and I misread him. It wasn’t an attack against you. He didn’t even know we were a thing.”

“I know it’s just…” Lena’s frowned at the ground, her brow wrinkling in frustration.

“Lena Luthor,” Kara gasped, taking a step back as a large smile stretched across her face. “Are you jealous?"

Lena groaned out a sigh.

“Yes, alright?” Lena said as her gaze darted back up to Kara’s face. “I don’t like the idea of other people kissing you. Especially when you’re so close to them.”

“Hey,” Kara brushed a bit of Lena’s dark hair from her face so her blue eyes could lock with Lena’s green. “You have nothing to worry about, okay?” Kara’s eyes fell to Lena’s pale lips. “You’re the only one who’s kiss has ever mattered to me or ever will.”

To emphasize her point, she leaned forward and her eyelids fluttered closed as she pressed her lips against Lena’s. Even miles away from shore, Lena’s lips still tasted of salt and ocean. As a girl who always considered her favorite taste to be either sweet or buttery, Kara had been rather quick to understand the value and flavor of this salty taste. With Lena, she always craved more but always worried she was asking for too much. Yet when she went to pull away, cool hands curved around her neck and over her blonde hair, holding her in place as Lena deepened the kiss, flooding Kara’s mouth with more of her sea water taste. Kara’s fingers tangled into Lena’s hair and urged her back until the selkie was pinned between the body of an angel half breed and the bark of a black spruce. They were both thankful for the coverage of the thick forest they were still in as their hands began to roam. Kara had barely begun to consider if their actions would be considered hot tree gossip for dryads to overhear when the twinkling of a familiar bell interrupted them.

Kara pulled away just long to look over her shoulder to see the familiar old lady with the fat nose and bored eyes who had nearly run over Kara roughly a week or so before walking out of Winn’s shop. In her hand, she clutched a basket full of what Kara assumed to be more of that rat poison she constantly clamored Winn for. Maybe he was right to be recording her name so heavily. But then again, perhaps it really was for rats as there hadn’t been any suspicious deaths from poisoning she had heard lately. 

With a small shrug of her shoulders, Kara turned back to pick up right where she left off, but Lena had already gone rigid underneath her. 

“What’s wrong?” Kara asked. 

“I don’t want her to see us,” Lena whispered, her eyes wide and trained on the woman.

Kara raised an eyebrow and looked back at the old lady who was already inside her carriage and flicking the reins.

“She’s hundreds of feet away,” Kara said as she ran her thumb along Lena’s cheek. “And I doubt she can even see anything with all these trees around us with how dark it is already.”

“I just can’t risk it,” Lena replied briskly, pushing herself up from the tree and Kara back a step so she could stand.

“Okay,” Kara stepped back and readjusted her cloak while Lena attempted to fix her hair. Kara smiled and stepped forward. “Let me.” Kara said before she worked her fingers through the dark hair she just messed up, smoothing it out and calming it down.

Lena gave a small smile. “Thanks.”

“It’s the least I can do,” Kara said before hesitating a second. “You know I’m not ashamed of you, right?”

“I’m a Luthor,” Lena said as she visibly swallowed and looked up at Kara. “My kind of reputation and name doesn’t bode well for you or your reputation.”

“You’re Lena,” Kara’s touch lingered as she pushed a dark lock behind Lena’s ear. “And there’s no one else I’d rather be with. Reputation be damned.”

Tears glossed Lena’s green eyes as she gave Kara a small, tight smile.

“Come on,” she said as she removed Kara’s hand from her face to hold it in her own. “Let’s go meet Winn.”

Kara returned with a much warmer smile as she led Lena out of the thick forest, through the wide clearing, up the creaking steps, under the tinkling bell, and into the musty, dusty apothecary.

“We’re closed,” Winn called past the counter, hidden behind a stack of several books.

“Then why did I just see someone walk out?” Kara asked, tugging Lena after her as she navigated her way through the ever-narrowing aisles of junk and jars.

“Kara?” Winn stuck his out and spotted the blonde. “What are you doing here?”

“Can’t a friend say hey?” Kara asked. “And I thought you stayed open later than this.”

“Not when I have to deal with rat poison lady for a whole hour,” Winn groaned as he shook his head and made his way to the front of the counter. “You’d think that woman would know what she wants by now, but she keeps asking more and more questions even though she never answers any mine. I’m just waiting for her to find that right poison to kill her husband. I almost thought about strengthening it with magic—” Winn stopped short when he realized that Kara had not only brought company, but she had brought a Luthor. “What-What are you doing here? Kara, what is she doing here?”

“Winn, this is Lena,” Kara said as cheerfully as she could as she looped her arm in Lena’s.

“I know who she is,” Winn’s eyes widened as he pressed himself back against the counter and gripped the wood until his knuckles paled. “But why is she here?”

“I wanted you to meet her,” Kara said as her smile and chipper quality faded while her shoulders sagged.

“I should probably just leave,” Lena told them, her pain clear in her voice, but her face already hardening into that Luthor mask.

“No, no,” Winn insisted, shaking his head. “No, I deserve this.” He pushed himself off the counter and took a step towards her, his head handing low as he peaked through his eyelids. “I knew this day would could, and I honestly expected it much sooner. Just please, do it quickly.”

Lena and Kara exchanged questioning looks.

“Winn…” Kara started. “What are you talking about?”

“Lena killing me, of course.”

“What?” Lena asked, her eyebrows shooting up and eyes widening. “Why on earth would I do that?”

“Because I kissed Kara,” Winn squeaked out even though her tried to puff out his chest. “I mean, I didn’t know you were a thing, but that doesn’t make it okay. I should have said something rather than make a move like that. I know I deserve it and I’ve very sorry, but please, make it quick and relatively pain free. Maybe even knock me out first if you’re feeling generous?”

Lena blinked as she stared at this quivering man in front of her and for a moment, she wasn’t quite sure what she should feel.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Lena said slowly with her forehead wrinkling as if she was struggling with comprehend the situation at hand. 

“Oh, so just maim them?” Winn asked as he peaked out one eye.

“No, I’m not going to intentionally hurt anyone,” Lena explained. “Especially not for something you apologized for.”

“But aren’t you mad?” Winn whispered, his shoulders tensing a bit tighter.

“No,” Lena told him as shook her head. “You didn’t know we were together and you clearly feel remorse about the situation. Kara forgives you, so I do too.”

“Oh, that’s a relief,” Winn sighed, his shoulders and back deflating to their normal slump. “I’ve been thinking you were going to put some curse or hex on me for days now.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Lena said with a small shrug. “You’re Kara’s friend and you seem like a decent man.”

“Huh,” Winn said cracking a smile. “I guess I kind of see what Kara sees in you. And I hear I thought all Luthor’s were evil and were the scariest thing to walk the earth since Cain.”

“Now keep in mind,” Lena’s tone dropped a bit as her eyes and teeth flashed slightly. “I will not be as forgiving if this happens again.”

“There’s the fear I was expecting,” Winn said as his face paled a bit as he scurried behind his counter.

“Play nice,” Kara muttered in Lena’s ear. "Kidding of course," Lena told Winn with a flashing smile. "Any friend of Kara's is a friend of mine." Kara rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to Winn. “I was wondering how that memory potion was coming along.”

“Oh wait, so she—” Winn stopped himself and dropped his pointing hand down to the counter. “Yeah, of course she would know about the angel thing. You’re dating her. Sorry, it’s still hard to wrap my mind around that. An angel and a witch…”

“Winn,” Kara interrupted.

“Yes sorry!” Winn said perking back up then deflating again. “I have made progress on the memory potion, but I ran into a problem.”

“What kind of problem?” Kara asked.

“Well, it’s just I don’t know how to make it strong enough,” Winn explained. “I mean, this is pulling up years of forgotten memories. Typically, a potion or spell like this would focus on childhood, core, defining memories to pull from as they are the foundation for much of the others, but you don’t have those to build on. There isn’t exactly any foundation to build on. And of course, this added on top of your natural resilience and strength makes this even more difficult.”

“What are you saying?” Kara asked, stepping forward as she voice dropped like her spirits.

“I’m saying that I don’t know if it will even work,” Winn said softly as he finally met Kara’s gaze. 

“But all those blueberries and ginseng I brought you,” Kara said as she gripped the counter to remain upright across from Winn. “Do you need more? I can bring you more. Just tell me what you need and I can get it.”

“What I need is not something you can grow,” Winn sighed. “I’m lacking on the magic side. I don’t have enough power to make it work.”

“There must be something,” Kara plead as she sank down on to the seat of a stool. “Please.”

“I don’t know,” Winn said as he flipped through pages in front of him, but Kara couldn’t tell if it was for a scholarly or nervous purpose. “Maybe the next full moon, it could work. There’s supposed to be some serious magic in the air with the planetary alignment and such.”

“Is there any way you can do it before then?” Lena asked as she stepped forward, but still remained behind Kara with her arms crossed.

“I, uh, don’t really think so,” Winn answered. “My magic’s just not strong enough.”

“What if I brought you ingredients that were strong enough?” Lena said, her chin raising slightly.

“No,” Winn said, furiously shaking his head and waving his hands out in front of him. “Absolutely not. I know you Luthors have that thing you all do, but not me. I don’t do blood magic.”

Kara cringed and her eyes immediately darted towards Lena’s hand that she kept in a ball buried in the crook of her arm. She saw how Lena’s jaw clenched and the tendon in her neck popped out slightly, but otherwise, she remained still and steadfast. The scars on Kara’s back tingled as she became overwhelmed with the urge to wrap Lena in her arms and her far, far away.

“There are ingredients stronger than blood,” Lena replied, not meeting Kara’s gaze.

“I don’t do dark magic,” Winn said as he placed his palms flat on counter and leaned forward. “Ever.”

“Not all strong magic is dark,” Lena said as she raised her chin. “Some of the strongest comes from purity and sacrifice. The kind that must be given willingly and that no evil can force.”

“What are you offering then?” Winn asked.

“If I provided the tears of a selkie, would the potion work?” Lena asked.

“ _Tears of a selkie_?” Winn’s eyes widened and his face dropped.

Kara’s head whipped back towards Lena who still refused to meet her gaze. 

“No,” Kara whispered, but Winn didn’t hear.

“You’re lying,” Winn said, his eyes narrowing. “Selkies don’t have tears.”

Lena scoffed bitterly. 

“Oh, I can assure you they do.” She said, her tone biting. 

“Then why have I never heard of them?” Winn asked, pushing himself off the counter. "I've combed plenty of my books and not once have they ever said anything about the tears of a selkie."

“Because it’s one of the few things that can’t be controlled of a selkie after their skin is ripped away from them,” Lena spat out the last word and Kara’s heart clenched. “It’s where their strongest magic lies. Stronger than the magic in their skin and their blood. It's fueled by the sorrow in their songs. And no selkie is ever going their captor the satisfaction of taking that away from them too.”

“Then how are you going to get it then?” Winn asked.

“I have my ways,” Lena replied, her arms tightening. “Just tell me, would a selkie’s tears work?”

“I don’t see why not,” Winn said rubbing the back of his neck. “That is if you can get it to me.”

“You’ll get it and soon,” Lena assured him before she turned to Kara. “Does that sound alright?”

“Lena, you don’t have to—” Kara started.

“But I want to,” Lena interpreted as her hand came to rest on Kara’s shoulder, sending a wave through Kara. “I want to do this for you and help you.”

“But we don’t even know if the potion will work,” Kara objected. “You could be risking this for nothing.”

“At the very least, it should help your nightmares,” Winn offered with a shrug.

“Nightmares?” Lena’s brow furrowed as she stared intently at the blonde. “You didn’t tell me anything about nightmares.”

“Oh, I just remembered,” Winn said as he slowly backed into the back room. “I forgot to alphabetize my library. Don’t mind me. I’ll be back in a couple hours or so…”  
Winn may have disappeared but Lena was not about to let Kara let this go just yet.

“What nightmares are he talking about?” Lena asked, turning so she was standing in front of Kara.

“Look it’s nothing,” Kara explained with a sighed. “I dream I’m flying then I’m falling. I’ve had them for a while. They’re nothing, I promise.”

“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping well?” Lena asked as she gently brought Kara’s chin up so she could study the dark bags under Kara’s blue eyes.

“Kind of,” Kara mumbled.

“That doesn’t sound like nothing to me,” Lena said before pausing for a moment. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“It’s just,” Kara closed her eyes and pulled her head out of Lena’s grip so she could pinch the bridge of her nose. “I’m fine with the falling. Okay, not entirely, but I’ve had those sorts of dreams for a while. It’s just now… now you’re there.”

“Me?”

“Well, the lack of you really. And that’s the part that troubles me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I lose you Lena,” Kara said, her blue eyes opening and becoming pleading. “I lose you every night and there’s nothing I can ever do about it.”

Lena’s jaw and stomach sink and her hold on Kara’s shoulder tightens. If there was ever a moment Kara needed to know how prophetic she really was, the time was now.

“Kara…” 

But once again, her mouth fails to work.

“I know, I know. It’s not my fault and it’s just all some stupid dream. But Lena,” Kara pauses to take a shuddering breath and Lena’s hand in hers as she locks on to the sight of those green eyes standing before her. “I want you to know if I ever do lose you, I just want you to know I love you.”

Lena’s heart twisted but not from the declaration of love she had longed for. No, it was because she knew there was no ‘if’ only ‘when.’ And that ‘when’ was all too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Song of the Stars and Sea has hit over 700 kudos!!! I'm blown away and honored and so excited. Y'all are just amazing and I'm so thankful to get to know you and somehow provide something you enjoy. Y'all are a delight and a blessing and thank you.


	25. Chapter 25

Kara flipped the page and squinted down at the small lines of complex words. Perhaps it was her tired eyes or just sheer exhaustion, but the words of the Shakespeare play in front of her seemed more head ache inducing than enlightening. The progress had been slow as everything seemed conflicting or ludicrous, but she kept rereading until the lines blurred too much together to distinguish actor line from stage direction. As much as she enjoyed the pet name, she wanted to be more than just a farm girl to Lena. Hamlet was just so simple in comparison to Othello. What had changed? She understood the fall of the Denmark prince. Why couldn’t she understand the love of a Moore general?

A knock at her door interrupted her growing frustration, and Kara barely had time to throw her blanket over the open book before the door creaked open. She tensed as her thoughts reeled to come up with an excuse, but she instead let out a sigh when she saw that it was only her sister. Her relax of relief however quickly became an ache of anger as she recalled why this was the first time she had seen her sister in over a day of avoidance.

“Hey Kara,” Alex greeted as she walked into the room.

“I’m kind of busy, Alex,” Kara said as she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to fight off or at least delay the growing migraine.

“I thought we should talk,” Alex continued, shutting the door behind her. “About the other night.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kara said in a harsh tone as she moved to rub a hand on her temple, her intended efforts doing little to stop the pain.

“Kara, please,” Alex sighed.

“No, Alex,” Kara snapped her head up. “Your girlfriend attacked mine. And you didn’t say a thing. You just _let_ her.”

“I didn’t know what to say—”

“You did when Mon insulted Maggie. You were ready to fight him over the table and he was just your drunk friend. But with Lena, _your sister’s girlfriend_ , you just sat there. It was pathetic.”

“I didn’t think—”

“She made Lena cry!” Kara shot to her feet and stomped towards her sister. “Do you have any idea what that did her? What those words and insults like that do to her? And you just let Maggie attack her.”

“Well what did you expect then?” Alex threw up her arms. 

“I expected you to do _something_!”

“It’s not like I control her. I’m her girlfriend. My job is to support, not control.”

“But you couldn’t come to the defense as my sister?”

“Maggie just thought she was defending _me_!”

“How the hell was she defending you? You weren’t the one being attacked!”

“She’s not the one who killed Megan!”

“Neither is Lena!”

“She’s still a Luthor!”

“Her name _Lena_ ,” Kara spat, “and she is _nothing_ like them.”

Kara had thought she had been furious before, but that was nothing compared to the white-hot rage that took over her, clouding her vision and burning through her veins.

“Kara… you’re hurting me.”

Kara immediately jerked back, her face crumpling as she stumbled back frantically until her back pressed against the wall. She threw her offending hand behind her, terrified of what it’d do and cringed when she felt it scrape into the wall behind her as she collided with it. Her fingers curled, denting into the stone walls as if they were wet clay as she tensed against it. Her breath came out in sharp pants while her eyes frantically flicked over her sister. She hadn’t even realized she’d grabbed Alex’s arm to begin with.

“I’m sorry,” Kara breathed out between shallow gasps.

“It’s okay,” Alex assured her as she stepped towards her sister, her hand cradling her forearm. “I’m fine. Really.”

“No,” Kara gasped, pressing herself further against the wall as her blue eyes widen. “Stay away from me.”

“Kara…” Alex said, her feet stilling but voice desperate.

“Alex,” Kara whispered as her vision began to blur and a tear run down her cheek. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

Although Kara had wondered that often over the past several days, weeks even, this was the first time she had said it out loud, and that confession carried an overflow of emotions with it she was not expecting nor prepared for. Her knees buckled beneath her, causing her sore, injured back to flare in pain as it slid down the wall against it, but Kara couldn’t seem to stop herself. She couldn’t’ stop anything lately. She was helpless. Especially to her emotions. Soon she was sitting on the floor, sobbing in to her knees while she kept her hands in tight fists behind and beside her.

She heard the floor creak and looking briefly from her knees, Kara saw the blurry outline of her sister kneeling on the floor in front her. For a brief moment, she was thankful that Alex had shut the door before all of this. She couldn’t bear to break more than one Danvers’s heart in a day. When Alex placed her hand on shin, just below her knee, Kara flinched, but soon stilled. She couldn’t trust herself to touch her sister, but maybe it would be okay for her sister to touch her. Kara just couldn’t bear the thought of having to bear this one her shoulders alone especially with how her shoulder blades bled already. 

Alex didn’t say anything, but her presence was more than Kara could have hoped for.

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered with her eyes fixed on Alex’s comforting hand.

“Tell me what’s going on, Kara,” Alex said, her touch tensing slightly.

“I just…” Kara’s words trailed off as she looked around the room while she searched for words. “I keep getting angry. Like… really angry. And it just comes out of nowhere. It’s as if there is this rage inside me and it just consumes me and turns me into something I don’t recognize.” 

“Oh,” Alex’s brow furrowed. 

“And it brings these thoughts,” Kara continued in a quieter voice as she tensed. “These cruel, evil thoughts that aren’t mine but they are.”

“How long has this been going on?” Alex asked, scooting closer.

“I guess a while. But it’s gotten so much more intense lately. I thought it could have been just from being in a relationship.”

“Relationships do tend to stir up some odd feelings.”

“But not ones like this.” Kara shuddered. “I don’t know what’s happening. Alex… I’m scared.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex assured her as her hand now moved up and down her shin. “I’m here. It’ll be okay.”

“I hurt you, Alex,” Kara whispered, her eyes dropping to the arm that laid cradled against Alex’s lap.

“But you didn’t mean to,” Alex told her. “And I’m fine. Really.”

“It still happened though,” Kara countered. “And what if it happens again? With you or Lena or Eliza? I’m strong Alex. I could have broken a bone. Or even shattered it.”

“But you didn’t.”

“But I wanted to!” Kara exclaimed before burying her face back into her knees and taking a shuddering breath. “It was only for a split second, but I still wanted to, and I hate myself so much for that.”

They were quiet for a bit after that. Kara kept her face hidden and taking slow, deep breaths while Alex continued to slow stroke her calve and shin. And while neither of them had anything to say or any advice to give, neither of them wanted to leave or move from their place on the floor.

“Huh.”

“What?” Kara asked, looking up at her sister’s thoughtful gaze. 

“I mean, it’s just really strange since you’re like, you know, an angel,” Alex said gesturing to her sister. “Well, half an angel I guess.”

“So?”

“So, do you think these… mood swings have anything to do with your scars?”

Kara thought for a moment. Her sister was right. The first real burst of anger was towards Lillian after seeing Lena’s scars and that happened not too long after Kara’s scars had started to bleed again. But still, there had to be other factors at play here.

“I mean, maybe.”

“Then there’s also your nightmares,” Alex added.

“Alex…” Kara groaned as she saw where her sister was going. “I thought we were past this.”

“Look, I’m just saying these things didn’t start until you started seeing Lena,” Alex said, her palm rubbing against Kara’s tear stained knee. “I’m not saying she’s the cause, but she might have something to do with it.”

“It can’t be Alex,” Kara shook her head. “I know her. She wouldn’t do anything like that. Especially not to me. And even if it was unintentional, she’d tell me.”

“Some people do crazy things when they’re in love.” Alex offered a small smile. 

“Yeah,” Kara sighed, but all she could think about was how Lena hadn’t returned her proclamation of love from the day before.

“And I’m sorry about the other night,” Alex continued. “You’re right. I should have said something. It wasn’t right for Maggie to attack Lena like that.”

“Thanks,” Kara mumbled as she returned Alex’s small smile.

“It probably wasn’t a good idea to try to plan a double date so soon anyways,” Alex sighed as she ran her hand through her short red hair. “I guess I just got too eager. I was kind of hoping it would help Maggie relax. She’s just been so tense lately especially with the disappearances.”

Kara raised her head with a frown.

“Disappearances?” she asked.

“Yeah, I think two or three werewolves have gone missing over the past month or two,” Alex explained with a shake of her head. “Maggie doesn’t talk about it a whole lot, but I know it’s bothering her.”

“They’ve just gone missing?” Kara asked. “Has anyone reported it?”

“Well, yeah of course, but there aren’t really any leads,” Alex shrugged. “A major ship left the docks around the same time they’ve all gone missing and that’s pretty much the best explanation. And the pack has to downplay it now since the next full moon is just a couple days away. They can’t risk a search party or lawman being out at night in the woods. It has all the pack pretty stressed from what I hear.”

“Wait is that what Maggie was talking about?” Kara asked sitting up. “Does she think the Luthors have something to do with it?”

“Pretty much,” Alex said with a shrug. “They do have a pretty long reputation for making people disappear. Again, it doesn’t have to be Lena, but I wouldn’t put it past her mom or brother.” She shivered. “They both give me the creeps.”

“But what would they even want with a werewolf?” Kara asked with a puzzled expression.

“They’re witches. Their ways are beyond me.” The redhead sighed again and look out the window. “All I know is that I don’t like the idea of Maggie being out there.”  
“She’s a werewolf, Alex,” Kara said, tentatively laying her hand over her sister’s. “If anyone can watch over herself it’s her.”

“I know, it’s just, ugh. I hate when I can’t see her. Especially on the nights of full moon. I can never sleep. I just stare at forest, waiting and praying she’ll come back to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara told her sister as she squeezed her hand as she thought back to the morning after the last full moon. “I wish you would have told me earlier though. I might have been a little more understanding on those nights after a full moon.”

“Eh, I probably deserved it,” Alex shrugged. “I can be a real bitch when I’m tired.”

“Hey, you said it not me.”

“Oh, shut up.” Alex playfully punched Kara’s shoulder. “And like you’re one to talk. All these late nights out haven’t been doing much to help your attitude any either.”

“Hey, you’ve been getting back later than me most nights anyways,” Kara replied with a wave of her finger. “I’ve been a complete angel compared to your crankiness.”

“Half angel,” Alex corrected with a quirk of an eyebrow.

“Not if I round up.”

Alex only rolled her eyes in response.

“Oh hey, can I ask you something?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you?”

“Well, it’s just...” Kara bit her lip. “Just promise me you won’t answer if you know it’s answer I don’t want to hear, okay?” Alex nodded. “Why do you come back more night covered in dirt and leaves in your hair?”

Her sister raised her eyebrows before grinning a grin that made Kara instantly regret asking.

“Oh gosh,” Kara said, her face turning red underneath her hands. “I don’t want to know.”

“I’m only messing with you,” Alex laughed as she leaned her head back. “No, Maggie’s been teaching me how to fight.”

Kara peaked out behind her fingers.

“Fight?” Kara asked. “Why?”

“I mean, I’ve always wanted to know how,” Alex replied, her smile dropping slightly. “I know dryads are supposed to be passive creatures, but after Megan… I just want to be able to defend myself when the time comes. Turning into a tree isn’t always going to work. And with everything happening with the disappearing werewolves lately, Maggie has been eager to teach me.”

“Oh,” Kara said, nodding. “I can understand that.”

“And of course,” Alex turned to her sister with a large grin. “Wrestling provides many opportunities for some _accidental_ touching.”

“Oh ew!” Kara moved to cover her ears. “I can never un-hear that.”

“Okay, okay,” she said after laughing aloud. “Oh, but since I answered your question, you need to answer mine.”

Kara arched an eyebrow.

“That one night when you came home drenched,” Alex said. “What happened?”

“Oh,” Kara felt her face heat. “Lena and I kind of fell off the dock?”

“You fell off the dock? That water’s freezing even this time of year.”

“Yeah, well turns out it’s also a good place to make out.”

“Woah, wait a second.” Alex held up her hands. “You’re telling me, you risked hypothermia just to lock lips with your girlfriend?”

“Hey, you’re the one getting beat up every night just to grope yours.”

“I do not get—” Alex pursed her lips. “Okay fine. Fair point. We’re both in unconventional and somewhat dysfunctional relationships.

“Yeah,” Kara snorted. “What’s wrong with us?”

“We just got it bad,” Alex smiled as she nudged her sister’s knee. “Don’t we _farm girl_?”

“Oh gosh,” Kara groaned as the blush swiftly returned to her cheeks. “I can’t believe she let that slip.”

"No, no, I'm glad she did. It's endearing."

“Just like Sweet Tree?” Kara asked with quirk of her mouth and eyebrow.

“She’s trying okay? It’s just none of the traditional werewolf or dryad pet names seem to work for us.”

“There are still plenty of options to choose from.”

“Yeah, well we’re just picky,” Alex went to lean back on her arms, but winced when she put weight on her injured arm and Kara’s smile quickly dropped.

“Let me heal it,” Kara whispered, holding her hands out.

With a soft sigh, Alex handed over her arm into Kara’s ginger grasp. Slowly, Kara pushed up Alex’s sleeve, running her hot fingers over the warm dryad skin underneath. Closing her eyes and letting the usual soft hum come to her lips, Kara reached down with herself, searching for that light she harnessed with Winn just a week before.

But there was no light to be found.

“Kara?” Alex asked.

“It’s not working,” Kara mumbled, her eyes opening to stare as the now purpling bruise forming across her sister’s forearm.

“It’s okay,” Alex assured her. “We can try again later. Don’t worry about it.”

“But why isn’t it working?” Kara asked, not letting go of her sister’s arm.

“Maybe it’s because you caused it,” Alex suggested in a smaller voice.

“Maybe,” Kara’s face dropped and Alex’s arm slipped from her fingers as shame filled her. “But wait, I’ve healed injures I’ve caused before. I accidently cut my finger with Lena once but I was still able to heal that. And that cut bled a lot. I should be able to heal this.”

“It’s okay Kara, really,” Alex assured her as she placed a palm on her sister’s shoulder. “It could always be just stress. Or maybe you just need some rest.”

“Yeah,” Kara mumbled.

Still Kara wasn’t convinced. But Lena was giving her her tears tonight and with that, she’d finally have some answers tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 800 kudos! Oh my gosh, y'all are just too great and I still don't believe it. Thank you all so much for just being so great and kind and motivating, and I love you all so much for it.  
> Also- Good news! I have the rest of the story outlined so only 10 chapters left it seems. Just keep in mind I'm really bad with guessing how long some these things will take, but currently I'm aiming for 10 more chapters. Bad news- I think plant trivia opportunities are minimal for the rest of this, but I'm gonna try my darnest anyway.  
> Again, thank you so much. Yall are really a blessing


	26. Chapter 26

“Kara!”

Lena jumped forward, quickly closing the space between her and the blonde dismounting from her horse, wrapping her arms around her as soon as she was within reach.

“Oh, hey,” Kara stumbled and stooped slightly as Lena’s hug around her neck pulled her down to her level before her own arms slowly circled around the selkie holding her. “Is everything okay?”

“Is it wrong for me to miss my girlfriend?” Lena asked, her face nuzzled against Kara’s shoulder.

“It’s just you normally wait for me at the end of the pier.”

“Oh,” Lena stepped back, her once tight grip of her arms falling to return to her sides. “You were late, and I guess I became a little impatient. I’m sorry if that bothered you.”

“No! No,” Kara swiftly assured her, taking Lena’s hand in her own. “Not at all. I just thought it was strange. That’s all. In fact,” Kara lifted Lena’s hands and pressed them to her lips. “It’s nice to know I was missed.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Lena’s other hand. “I missed you too.”

Lena smiled and leaned in so she could feel Kara’s lips on her own as well. Her grip on Kara’s hand tightened as she pulled away, almost as if she feared Kara would disappear. 

“Why are you late anyways?” Lena asked.

“I mean, technically we never set a standard time so am I really even late?” Kara asked, but the quirk of Lena’s eyebrow told her yes. “Okay, fine. I am a tad bit late. Winn needed some extra blueberries for the potion. And it also took me a bit longer than I thought I would to prep tonight’s snack.”

“Oh, what is it?” Lena asked, her eyes brightening.

Kara dramatically reached into her satchel and whipped out a leather sack with a flourish.

“Pineapple!” Kara said triumphantly with a bright smile.

Lena’s green eyes widened in surprise before her thin brows furrowed in thought.

“Pineapple?” Lena repeated slowly. “As in fruit from a pine tree?”

“Not quite,” Kara laughed and looped her arm into Lena’s as they walked towards their typical place on the pier. “It’s grown in the tropics, but every now and then, I’ll convince Jeremiah to plant one. He has a secret love for the exotic, but the real trick is to tell him you don’t think he can do it. He’ll always rise to those sorts of challenges. Alex too. Just supply the seeds and next thing you know, they’ll be competing on who can grow it the fastest. Eliza likes how it gets Alex using her powers, but she still hates it, especially when one of them gets roots that compromises the house’s foundation or when branches shatter the windows as the grow into the kitchen or living room.”

“Does that happen often?” Lena asked, her steps in stride with the blonde.

“About once maybe twice a year,” Kara shrugged as they reached the end of the pier. “Mostly it comes up with either apple or hickory nut trees. We still find hickory nuts around the living room after last year’s incident.”

“Oh my,” Lena laughed as she moved to sit at the end of the pier. “Never a dull day with the Danvers Dryads, I suppose.”

“Eh, they have their moments,” Kara said, sitting down next to the selkie and opening the leather pouch. “Now, this is my most favorite fruit of almost all time. Just me sharing my limited supply with you serves as a testament to how much I care about you and this relationship.”

“So, I have to like them?” Lena arched an eyebrow, eyeing the yellow sliced fruit.

“Yes and no,” Kara said, picking one up in her fingers. “I want you to like them because they are the best fruit ever, and I want you to be able to appreciate that. But I also don’t want you to like them because then that means I get to eat the rest by myself.”

“That’s fair,” Lena laughed as she lifted one of the juicy slices in her fingers. “On the count of three, then?” Kara nodded. “One…two… three!”

They both shoved the pineapple in their mouth and started to chew. Kara’s face immediately erupted into a smile and a state of almost euphoria, but Lena’s twisted and lips puckered at the taste.

“Amazing, right?” Kara asked as she reached for another.

“I didn’t expect them to be so sour or acidic,” Lena said, shuddering slightly.

“That’s the best part!” Kara exclaimed before swallowing another piece. “I’ll typically eat a bunch at once and then my mouth will go numb and my tongue gets all tingly.”

“That doesn’t sound very healthy.”

“Yeah… That’s usually when I take it as a sign to stop. Sometimes I don’t even get feeling back until the next day. But it’s worth it. Pineapple’s just that good.”

“Is it though?”

“Of course!” Kara exclaimed. “Honestly, losing feeling in my tongue is a small price to pay for such a delicious taste.”

Lena shook her head.

“I just don’t think that there’s ever a reason to cause yourself harm for something,” she said.

“Well,” Kara placed her hand, sticky with pineapple juice, over Lena’s pale hand. “People have done crazier things for love.”

Lena lips smiled, but her eyes didn’t. Rather, they glazed over with tears as she ducked her head to hide them. 

“Oh, I have something for you.” Lena’s hand slipped out from beneath Kara’s and into her own cloak and pulled out a small vial. “The tears you asked for.”

“Lena….” Kara’s went dry before she could form another word.

“But first, I just want to make sure you understand,” Lena’s green eyes locked with Kara’s, pleading. “I need to make sure you understand just what you’re getting into.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara asked in a small voice. “I’ve wanted this for years.”

“Yes, but Kara—” Lena closed her eyes gritted her teeth slightly as she sighed. “You might not like what you find.”

“It’s the only way to find out who I am, Lena.”

“You don’t need a potion to find out who you are, Kara. I can tell you that. So, can Alex and Winn and Jeremiah and Eliza.”

“But none of you can tell me anything about who I was before I met any of you. That’s a majority of my life. My childhood, my parents, my home.” Kara ran her fingers through her blonde hair. “And I really don’t see what’s so wrong with that.”

“You’re forgetting the trauma,” Lena whispered, her gaze falling to her lap.

Kara’s heart skipped a beat before the truth of Lena’s word hit her head on and flared in her back.

“I still have nightmares about when I lost my skin,” Lena continued. “And I wish I didn’t remember. But Kara…you lost something just as valuable, and I know it won’t be an easy thing to deal with. And I really don’t want to put you through that.”

“Lena…”

“But I also can’t refuse you,” Lena said, pressing the vial into Kara’s hand. “I want nothing more for you to be happy, and, even if I don’t think this is the path, it’s still important to you so I will do everything I can to make that happen.”

Kara’s hand tightened around the small vial in a grip so tight that she feared she might shatter it.

“Lena…”

“Just please remember,” Lena’s gentle, cool touch guided Kara’s chin so Kara’s blue eyes would lock with her watering green. “Regardless of what you discover, it won’t change how I feel about you. Nothing ever will.”

Lena could only pray that Kara felt the same way about her.

\---

“You have the vial, right?”

“Yep and the blueberries,” Kara said, holding them both up as proof.

“Well, let’s get this show on the road then,” Alex replied as she slid out of the cart. “I’m still shocked you trust Winn enough to do this.”

“His salve worked, didn’t it?” Kara asked as she walked with her sister up to the path to the small apothecary.

“Yes, but you smelled that stuff, didn’t you?” Alex faked a shudder. “It’s putrid enough to peel the bark off a tree. Oh, and let’s not forget Winn’s little ‘migraine cure’ that gave me boils.”

“It did still cure your migraine, though.”

“Boils, Kara. Boils.”

“Alright, I’ll give you that.”

“But you trust him, so I guess that’s good enough for me,” Alex said as she opened the door and the tinkling of bells announced their presences.

“Flip over the closed sign!” Winn called from the back. “I figured we might want this to remain private.”

“Oh, yeah,” Kara mumbled as flipped the sign over with a slight fumble of her fingers. The reality of what they were about to do just started to hit her and she could feel some of the blueberries crushing in her tightening grip.

“Here, let me take those,” Alex murmured as she gently pried the cloth sack out of Kara’s hand for the blueberries’ sake. “Do you have everything ready, Winn?”

“Yes ma’am!” Winn said as he spun to face them on his stool. He wore an apron covered in a colorful array of stains and burns and on his nose rested a thick pair of glasses with cracked lens. If anything, he reminded Kara of a mad scientist instead of the benevolent witch he was.

“Here are the blueberries you asked for,” Alex said, holding them out.

“Sweet!” Winn said before he took the bag and promptly shoved a handful of them into his mouth. “I knew I’d forget to eat breakfast today. This is perfect.”

“They’re not for the spell?” Alex asked slowly, her brow wrinkling slightly.

“Well, kinda,” Winn said with a shrug and quick swallow. “Blueberries have all these properties in them that make them great for memory spells and such. There’s already a bunch in the potion already, but I might need to add more for flavor. And they’re for in case I get hungry. Like right now.” He ate another handful for emphasis.

“Right…” Alex sighed with a shake of her head.

“Really all that’s left is to add the selkie tears,” Winn said, his gaze shifting from the redheaded sister to the blonde.

“Here,” Kara said in a small voice as she stepped forward, handing the small vial to Winn.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Winn muttered as he held the vial up to the light and watching how the small drops inside refracted blue, glimmering light. “That Luthor actually pulled it off.”

“Kara,” Alex started slowly, crossing her arms and turning her head towards her. “How did Lena get those? There aren’t even any selkies around here.”

Kara choked on a laugh, but cover it with a cough.

“Trust me,” Kara said. “She didn’t hurt anyone, and those are real.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Winn said as he popped the cork off the top. “Ready?” 

Kara nodded, and Winn poured the few drops out of the vial and into the small caldron he had brewing on his counter. The substance inside glowed before simmering, causing Winn to grin. He grabbed his spoon and stirred several times before the potion changed from a dull green to a bright blue.

“Alright,” Winn said as he grabbed a cup and began to ladle the thick potion into it. “It’s probably going to taste pretty bad since most potions do. You can add some blueberry garnish if you want, but you have to drink everything in this cup, okay? It’s the only way I can be sure it will work with your kind.”

Kara nodded as she took the steaming cup from Winn. While the odor wasn’t anything like the salve that now stained her back, the smell still wrinkled her nose. She was just about to taste it when her sister stopped her.

“Hey Kara,” Alex paused for a moment. “Whatever happens, don’t forget about me, okay? We may not be blood, but you’re still my sister, and a potion isn’t going to change that.”

Kara gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand.

“I could never forget about you,” Kara said. “Or you, Winn. You’re both my family.”

“Always,” Winn agreed. “We’ll be right here.”

“Alright,” Kara took a deep breath. “Here it goes. Down the hatch.”

Even those the potion steamed, it sent a chill through her when it touched her tongue. Kara fought through the urge to gag and realized that no number of blueberries would have masked the sour taste much too similar to spoiled milk. Still, there was a sweet, salty undertone that Kara knew came from Lena and her tears. Squeezing her eyes shut, she clung to that undertone and chugged the rest of the potion until she swallowed every last drop.

She wasn’t entirely sure what she was expecting, but when she lowered the cup and opened her eyes, she was pretty disappointed to find herself standing in the same room still holding Alex’s hand. She frowned and eyed the remains at the bottom of the cup to be sure she had drunk it all, and she had.

“How do you feel?” Alex asked, adopting a tone Kara had only ever heard from Eliza.

“I feel fine,” Kara said. “My stomach kind of hurts, but that’s it.”

“Oh gosh,” Winn groaned. “What if I got the measurements or proportions wrong? That was most of my ingredients too. It’ll take at least two weeks to try again. Maybe if you drink more? I know the taste isn’t ideal, but maybe you just need more? I wonder if—”

Winn’s rambling was swiftly cut off by the clattering of the cup on the wooden floor. If it weren’t for Alex’s already tight hold on her sister, Kara surely would have fell to the floor too and not her sister’s arm.

The room spun and blackened faster than Kara was prepared for and overtook her in seconds. She remained in darkness for what felt like some time and Kara could only fear the worse. But then the wind came. It made Kara feel weightless. Then the stars came and they softened the darkness enough so that Kara could make out the clouds around her. That was when Kara realized she was flying again just like in the dreams she had had nights before.

But then that same bright light that ruined all of her dreams came and it was only made worse by the dark setting this time. The clouds around her swirled and tightened around her, holding her arms to her sides and forcing her on her knees on the surface of a cloud. Another pair of them wrenched off her wings she had just gotten back and let them fall. Kara bowed in the pain, her teeth gritting as she saw her mighty wings fade into dots and her blood stain the white cloud around her.

“So, nice of you to kneel, Kara Zor-El." 

Kara whipped her head up at the voice and saw that the bright light had brought with it a friend this time. She began as an outline, but she walked towards Kara, Kara saw that she was dressed in white with long dark hair and a set of immense white wings graced her back. Her appearance sent a shock right through Kara. She knew this woman. She had loved this woman. But her name rested on the tip of Kara’s tongue, just on the edge from being spoken or known.

“And here I was thinking you’d be lost forever,” the woman continued as she stopped right before the bleeding and bent blonde. “But even you know that once a sheep is lost, it cannot return to its flock. Isn’t that right, little one?”

“Astra,” Kara gasped.

“It would be High Council Woman to you now,” Astra corrected and Kara saw the glint of a golden wreath resting on her head. Kara’s heart lurched when she realized it was actually a halo. 

“What happened?” Kara whispered. “These aren’t my memories.”

“No, they’re not,” Astra confirmed and she clasped her hands together in front of her. “We thought it’d be best to step in and give you a warning. This charade has gone on long enough. You’ve already broken too many laws, especially with your relationship with the selkie.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara asked, her mind reeling.

“We lost track of you for a bit there,” Astra continued as she started pacing. “We never would have thought to look for you in the home of a dryad. They blocked you from our view so well. But then you started seeing that selkie…”

“You know about Lena?” Kara asked, straightening up and winching slightly at the burn on her back.

“Of course, we know about Lena. We’ve known about her long before her stay with the Luthors. Who do you think put her there?”

“No,” Kara growled as the all too familiar rage swept over her again. She would have probably made a lunge at the woman, but the clouds only tightened their hold on her.   
“She’s a murderer,” Astra sighed and shook her head. “But I guess that wouldn’t bother you.”

“What are you talking about?” Kara snapped. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Drop the act, little one,” Astra said, stopping in her pacing. “It will do you no good here. We know the truth.”

“Well I don’t!” Kara shouted. “I don’t understand any of this. How do you know that about Lena? How do you know about me? Why can’t you just show me my damn memories?!”

Furrowing her brow, the High Council Woman walked forward, bending down to study Kara’s face. She reached out to touch Kara, triggering Kara to flinch, but the clouds only tightened their hold on her, keeping her place. Her touch was warm, but sent shivers down Kara’s back as Astra ran her thumb over a spot on Kara’s forehead. The same spot that Eliza had doctored all those years ago.

“Perhaps you are telling the truth,” Astra murmured. “You always clung on to that halo a bit too much. I wonder if caused trauma on the way down. It would explain how you have alluded us for so long.”

“Of course, I’m tell the truth,” Kara bit out. “Why should I lie to you monsters?”

Astra arched an eyebrow as her hand fell away from Kara’s temple. 

“I believe you have that backwards, Kara,” she said as she stood up. “I am not the monster here.”

“Then why am I the one bound? Why am the one with the scars you caused when you tore off my wings?!”

Astra was silent for a moment as she turned away from Kara, her own wings sagging behind her.

“It was fair punishment,” she said.

“It’s not fair! I shouldn’t be being punished for the sins of my father or mother!”

Astra slowly turned her head back towards the blonde, her eyes narrowing.

“You’re not being punished for the sins of your father or mother,” Astra said slowly. “You’re being punished for your own.”

Kara’s heart sank into her stomach, snatching her speech and anger with it. Suddenly, her lungs and heart started to falter into an uneven pace. The parallel scars on her back flare even hotter, but for the first time, Kara feared she knew why.

“What?” Kara asked in a small voice.

“Kara, you’re fallen.”


	27. Chapter 27

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see Kara,” Lena said, her normal steely appearance straining as she twisted her fingers along her wrist inside her cloak. “She didn’t show up last night and I was worried.”

“She doesn’t want to see you,” Alex replied, starting to shut the door, but was stopped by a boot in the way.

“Please Alex,” Lena’s hard look faded into one of desperation. “I need to know how she’s doing. Please.”

The tightness in Alex’s jaw slackened as her brown eyes flicked across Lena’s pale expression. She turned her head slightly behind her as if she was looking for something. Her red hair fanned out as she whipped her head back to Lena and leaned forward.

“Meet me around back,” she mumbled and then shut the door before Lena could respond.

Lena bit her lip and leaned to the side in an attempt to see just what the dryad had meant. Their backyard was rather large and thick with trees. Memories of Kara telling her of the gossip and rumors spread by them made Lena frown and pull her hood up over her head despite the afternoon sun. She had already spent the past hour standing at the edge of the forest on the Danvers property just trying to work up the courage to approach the front door. But if the tree were going to talk, they likely already had. As she walked to the back of the house, her hands fisted in the fabric of the cloak as she did her best not to think of her last encounter with Alex and the wound that was still healing from it. But this wasn’t about that. This was about Kara.

Lena stopped within the shade of a tree, partially hidden behind it as she waited for Alex to reappear. Her palms had already begun their nervous sweat, and she wiped them roughly against her pants. Being alone like this, in a place this open and this visible, only stressed her out more. It was against her nature to be so vulnerable like this with the bright sun feeling like a spot light on her back. She had no water to escape into and her own sight was limited to the tree line just a couple feet away. Who knows who could have eyes on her now? And she didn’t even have her skin to hide behind. Selkies weren’t meant to be on land, and they especially weren’t meant to be without their skin. Especially for as long as Lena had. She ran her pale finger lightly over the faint scar along the inside of her fingers, flinching slightly when she touched the point where her index and middle finger met her palm. This place, this town, the Luthor Manor was her hell and ever since Kara had come into her life, it had only gotten worse, but it was also the first time in years she had woken up with hope. Kara made it bearable. Lena had thought she had understood that before, but now without her for even one night, she realized just how much of necessity Kara had become. She didn’t just love Kara. She needed her.

No matter how much Lena wanted to let Kara go, she couldn’t. She was an addict and Kara was her drug. And the withdrawal had already begun to wreck her.

Finally, the backdoor opened and Alex walked out. She slowly closed the door behind her and approached Lena underneath the tree. The way she crossed her arms and shook her head only increased the tension in Lena’s back.

“It took you two hours, Luthor?” Alex asked as she came up to Lena. “Two hours to get up the nerve to approach us? Don’t tell me you’re scared of a bunch of dryads.”

Lena’s eyes narrowed and her hands curled into fists when the redhead referred to her by her slave name. Still, this wasn’t about her. It was about Kara.

“The trees tell you that?” Lena asked, her eyes flicking to the trunks around her.

“Yeah,” Alex shrugged as she leaned against one. “They have a tendency to exaggerate though. Especially firs. So, you may not have stood in the woods staring at our house trying to work up the nerve to approach us for two hours, but it was still a long time.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena sighed, letting too much of her Luthor mask drop than she felt comfortable with. “This is all new territory for me. I’m not really sure how to handle it all.”

“First time with a girl?” Alex asked, her face softening to a friendlier one that rarely showed itself outside of Kara and Maggie.

“No,” Lena shook her head and scoffed a bit as memories of Sam drifted in. Despite how different she was from Kara, Lena couldn’t help but think that the mermaid and the angel half-breed would make great friends. “Just these feelings. I don’t think I’ve felt like this for a long time.”

Alex studied her for a moment; her brown eyes flicking across Lena’s pale face as she studied the branches in the canopy above her. Lena could barely resist the urge to tug her hood down and hide herself further within the cloth, but she knew that would do little good. Finally, Alex broke the tension with a sigh.

“You’re not a witch, are you?” Alex asked.

Lena’s heart clenched and pounded in her skull as her eyes widened and fell to Alex’s awaiting brown. Her nails dug into her arms as she fought the instinct to run, but this far inland, she lacked that familiar pull of the ocean telling her where to go or even making her feel safe.

“What…” she said in a hoarse croak. She tried to clear her throat swallow the spit in her mouth, but her tongue just felt drier.

“Again, the trees talk,” Alex explained with a wave of her hand. “And it helps that I’ve been asking about you too. You really think I’m just going to let my little sister date anyone without me digging up all I can on them?”

“What did you find?” Lena asked, her arms cross over her chest - not in defiance but as self-comfort.

“That you never cast spells, that Lillian and Lex rarely speak to you unless it’s a yell or complaint, that you overwater the garden, that you’re a horrible cook, and that most of your free time is spent either reading or staring at the ocean,” Alex listed off. “Does that sound about, right?”

“Well, your tree spies seem adequate,” Lena mumbled, her face turning slightly red.

“Kara also let it slip once that you were enslaved by the Luthors,” Alex added.

Lena’s head whipped up. Whatever calm mask she may have worn prior fell as her green eyes widened and lips parted in fear. If it weren’t for her clothes acting as a barrier, her nails would have drawn blood from her arm as she backed into a tree and curled slightly in on herself. It was one thing for people to know she wasn’t a witch, but another thing entirely for people to know what she really was. Especially now. Lillian would kill her.

“Please don’t say anything,” Lena whispered. “Please.”

Alex took a step forward, her brow wrinkling in concern. In that moment, she felt a pang of sympathy for this Luthor she had spent so much of her life despising. Right then, Lena reminded her more the scared, blood covered blonde her mother had brought home all those years ago rather than the dark witch who burned fields and her friends.

“It’s okay,” Alex said, carefully as she held out her hand. “I won’t say anything. Your secret’s safe with me. I swear.”

Lena bit her lip and nodded, relaxing slightly. Her fingers released their tight hold on her arms as she exhaled. She told herself it was fine. Just so long as her selkie secret stayed between herself and Alex’s sister. Her chest clenched as she remembered once again why she was here.

“Where’s Kara?” Lena asked.

Alex dropped her hand as she sighed.

“She’s inside,” Alex said, her head turning back to look at a window Lena deduced as Kara’s.

“I want to see her,” Lena said, moving forward to be stopped by Alex’s hand.

“She hasn’t said anything since she came to,” Alex softly explained, her head hanging. “I don’t know what happened, but I know she took it pretty hard.”

“I’ll try to talk to her,” Lena mumbled as she did her best to swallow past the lump in her throat.

“Be careful with her, Lena,” Alex said, her eyes flicking up so Lena could see the pain and sorrow in them. “Please.”

“I always do my best to,” Lena offered a tight smile before she set off towards the house.

She may have walked calmly, but her heart beat erratically in her chest much like how her throat churned over in her head until they were a throbbing mush. Her arms curled under her cloak as she fought the urge to submerge herself in the fabric and hide. She just wanted to hide from the anxiety that currently robbed her of her breath. This was her fault. She had given Kara her tears and now Kara hated her. If she had just waited in giving them to her or just lied about them. Oh, why didn’t she lie! Her life was lies. It should have been so easy to mumble one just as simple as that. But regardless, she had never been able to lie to that beautiful blonde. Not even in the beginning when they both stood drenched in seawater in that barn.

Her boots clicked softly on the stone floor as she entered the house and made her way through the kitchen. Lena’s gaze softened then watered slightly as she saw the coziness of the Danvers’ home with their low ceilings, mismatched furniture, and plethora of plants. Flowers, vines, and leaves overflowed from their pots on the mantle, cabinets, shelves, and tables. Their home was more of a greenhouse than cottage, and Lena instantly fell in love with it. There was so much more warmth and air than the entire cold, dank Luthor Manor. For a moment, she found herself wishing that she had suffered a fate similar to Kara and been taken by Eliza rather than Lillian, but she caught herself. Kara deserved the Danvers; Lena only deserved the Luthors.

When Lena’s eyes fell upon the only closed door, she instantly knew that that was the one Kara hid behind. Swallowing a mouthful of her own spit to try to alieve her dry throat, Lena walked towards it, wobbling slightly as her mind raced with potential outcomes. Was this the end? Did Kara hate her? How much? Did she never want to see her again? Would she even let Lena explain herself? When the time came, Lena wasn’t sure if the thudding she heard was the beating of her heart or the knocking of the door.

When Kara didn’t respond, Lena tested the knob and found it unlock. Gently, she pushed the door opened and barely caught the gasp from her lips. Before her laid the beautiful blonde, who captured her heart, facing the window but her back facing her was red and wet. She apparently didn’t care for the stains her own blood left on the sheets, and neither did Lena. All Lena cared about was the one that the blood came from.

“Kara,” Lena whispered as the door clicked shut behind her. 

“Go away,” Kara croaked although she didn’t move.

“Kara, what happened?” Lena asked as she walked towards her, her anxieties about herself falling and quickly being replaced for those of her girlfriend.

“Leave me alone.”

“Kara, please,” Lena’s voice broke as she approached the edge of the bed. From here, she could see the dark patches of blood on her shirt around her shoulder blades and the wrinkles of the fabric as if it had been moved and shifted like someone had been scratching it. A lump rose in Lena’s throat and her vision started to blur as she reached out to touch Kara’s arm.

“I said leave!” Kara shouted as she twisted out of Lena’s grip but only winched in pain before falling back to the mattress.

“Kara…” Lena whispered after she jerked her hand back.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said softly although her gaze stayed trained on the window. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“Nothing is going to hurt me more than leaving you right now,” Lena replied though still hesitant to reach her hand back out.

Kara barked out a laugh before she winched once again in pain.

“You say that now,” Kara said shaking her head. “But you don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?” Lena’s throat tightened and hand fell back to her side as her anxiety raged inside once again. She always thought that she was the only one with secrets in this relationship.

“That I’ve be lying to you all this time,” Kara said, her nails digging into her palms she curled her hands into fists. “That I’m not who I said I was.”

Lena’s breath hitched and her heart dropped deeper in her chest than she thought possible. Memories of when she learned Kara’s dryad persona was nothing but a façade, and Lena desperately wished she could find that same anger to latch on to. That same anger that surfaced every time someone lied to her face so consistently like that but she found nothing but pain. She’d given too much of herself over in trust of this blonde, and now, she just felt hollow.

“What?” Lena managed to breath, but she doubted Kara even heard.

“Turns out I’m not some angel half breed,” Kara whispered. “I’m a pure breed, but corrupt and distorted in every other sense.”

“Wait, what?” Lena’s mind was reeling and if anything, she just craved a place to sit down.

“I’m a full angel, Lena,” Kara choked out. “A full breed fallen angel.”

“Fallen?” Lena echoed. “But that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Doesn’t it?” Kara laughed bitterly. “How do you think I lost my wings?”

“But you’re a good person, Kara,” Lena insisted as she stepped forward, her brow furrowing in confusion. “You’ve been nothing but kind. Sharing your favorite fruits, constantly offering support and consideration for other. Hell, you even risked your life for me before you even knew me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kara mumbled, her hold on her pillow cradled on her chest tightening. “My sins still stand, and they still corrupt.”

Lena carefully sat down at the foot of Kara’s been and gently laid her hand on leg. She made sure not to pull away this time when Kara flinched at her touch.

“Kara, please,” Lena said softly as she tried to coax Kara to meet her gaze. “Talk to me.”

Kara laid unmoving on the bed as she determinedly stared out the window. From her body language, Lena knew Kara probably just wanted her to leave, but Lena doubted she had the strength. It broke her heart to see her in this much pain and she craved to fix it anyway she could. Finally, Kara let out a sigh.

“I still don’t remember it all,” Kara said. “It’s still coming back in pieces and flashes. But it’s slowly starting to make sense.” She took a deep shuddering breath before she continued. “I used to be a guardian angel. It was my job to protect my charges. To keep them safe. I only had a few, I think. Mostly children, the injured, and lost. Those typically unable to protect them or need a little extra help. And that was I did. I protected them. That was all I suppose to do. But then things started to change...”

“You know, Lucifer fell because of pride,” Kara added, her voice changing in pitch as Lena saw the tears starting to form in her eyes. “He thought he was better than God, and God cast him out. I always thought that that was a bit extreme. I mean, he didn’t hurt anyone or anything. Aren’t we supposed to have self-esteem and everything? But I guess God knew better because now Lucifer is basically the essence of all evil and whatever. And it was all because of his stupid pride.” Kara choked back on her tears as they began running down her face. “Some stupid little sin and he became the devil. I can’t even imagine what that means for me.”

“It’s okay,” Lena soothed, rubbing her hand on Kara’s thigh as she seemed to curl herself deeper into the fetal position. “You’re not him.”

“I wish I was though,” Kara whispered. “Then I wouldn’t be so damned.”

The soothing circles Lena rubbed into Kara’s thigh faltered as her words sunk in.

“His name was Clark,” Kara whispered. “Clark Kent. And he was just a little baby. Barely older than an infant. And that hair,” Kara coughed out a laugh that only sent more tears streaming down her cheeks. “Gosh, he had so much hair and it curled on his forehead in the most cheesy but adorable way. I loved that kid. He had just lost his parents and was in the foster system. I knew he’d probably be adopted in no time with his baby cheeks and curly hair, but when I was told he would be my charge, I swore I would protect him and I absolutely meant it.” Kara’s sad smile fell into a frown. “But I got distracted. I had other charges and I…” Kara closed her eyes and grimaced as she gripped the pillow on her chest tighter.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Lena said as she squeezed Kara’s thigh. “You were only doing your job.”

Kara opened her watery blue eyes and looked at Lena for the first time that day, and Lena’s heart just broke at the wretched attempt at a smile Kara offered Lena. 

“I did so many things wrong,” Kara’s gaze flickered down from Lena’s stricken face to her pale hand resting on Kara’s thigh and soon she had her face buried in her pillow as she took a deep, shuddering breath. “I favored this one charge, and I ended up neglecting my others. I just told myself that the others would call if they needed me. That’s what they always did and we’re supposed to always be able to hear their calls. But I didn’t hear Clark’s.”

The extent of Kara’s sob was muffled into the pillow, but Lena still continued to offer a comforting hand. It took every ounce of her strength to not just simply wrap Kara up in her arms.

“Maybe it was because he was just a baby or he never got a chance,” Kara continued, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “But I didn’t hear him until it was too late. When I got to him, he was already dead.” Kara forced the last word through her gritted teeth. “I thought he was safer in that foster home. At first, glance they seemed like nice people.” The fabric on the pillow tore as Kara’s hands curled into tighter fists. “I didn’t know they were monsters. I didn’t know they’d kill a baby. I didn’t know that they’d make me a monster too.”

“But you’re not a monster,” Lena insisted, leaning forward so she could rub her hand along Kara’s bicep in an attempt to get her to release some of her tension. “You didn’t kill him.”

“But I killed them,” Kara whispered. 

Lena’s hand stilled. She opened her mouth, but words failed her. Kara didn’t notice though as her focus remained on the window.

“And now I’m a monster,” Kara said.

“Hey,” Lena’s said in a small voice as her hold tightened on Kara’s arm. “Remember what you told me? It made you a monster then, but your guilt makes you human now.”

From how Kara had holed herself up in her room like this, Lena almost felt as if she didn’t have enough guilt over the life she took, and another wave of remorse filled her, causing her to hang her head a bit lower.

“But that’s not why I feel guilty,” Kara said into her pillow so Lena barely heard her. “I’m glad they’re dead. They deserved it.”

“Oh... then why do you feel guilty?”

“Because I wasn’t the only one punished.” Kara’s fingers tore deeper into the pillow. “So was the charge I was distracted with. That I devoted all my time and effort to.” Kara choked on her tears as they poured down her face again before she added in a strangled whisper. “The one I was in love with.” 

Lena thought her heart had already broken to its fullest extent that night but hearing Kara say that proved her wrong. The shattered pieces fell to her stomach and Lena fought the urge to curl in on herself. The feeling coursing through her was foreign and all consuming. Was it anger? Rejection? Jealousy? More anxiety? Whatever it was seemed to only sour the longer it stayed. 

“Who?” Lena breathed.

Kara’s blue eyes flicked over from the window to Lena’s green.

“You.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL WE'VE HIT 900 KUDOS!! I still can't believe this thing even has 9, but y'all continue to awe me with your kindness and support and just overall greatness. Thank you.  
> Sidenote: this story is now over 80,000 words and according to one of my professors, a novel is a literary work that consists of more than 80,000 words. So this thing is like novel length and I never would have ever thought I'd make it this far. I do know though that I wouldn't have made it this far without y'all so, once again, thank you so much for all y'all do


	28. Chapter 28

“Me?” Lena pulled away, her eyes wide and mouth open in confusion as she studied Kara’s face for sincerity. “What are you talking about?”

“I knew who you before you were taken by the Luthors,” Kara explained slowly, her own gaze drifting as she held the pillow tighter against her chest. “When you still wore the skin of a seal.”

“No, no,” Lena insisted while shaking her head. “I’ve been with the Luthors for three years. We never spoke to one another until that day in the market barely a month ago. You must be confused, Kara.”

“I’m not confused,” Kara said. “You were my charge. You were for months.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Lena told her as she stood up from the bed, her arms coming to wrap themselves around her waist as she began to pace. “It’s not possible. You’re lying.”

“I’m not lying,” Kara snapped a bit harsher than she meant to as she rolled over to glare at Lena. “Why would I lie about this? And to you?”

“Then you’re remembering wrong,” Lena argued, her pace quickening as she walked in circles and anxiously twisted her fingers around her wrists, winching ever so slightly.

“Why won’t you believe me?” Kara demanded, gritting her teeth in frustration.

“Because selkies don’t get guardian angels!” Lena exclaimed.

Her feet came to a halt so she was facing the door rather than the staring blonde. Lena’s head bowed so a curtain of raven hair hid her face as she pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. Lena could feel Kara’s eyes on her back, watching as Lena’s shoulders moved as she took a shuddering breath.

“As I told you before,” Lena added in a whisper. “Selkies aren’t human. We’re monsters. We don’t get guardian angels.”

“Lena, you’re not—”

“No,” Lena whipped back around to face Kara, holding out her hand to stop those words she knew she didn’t deserve. “Don’t say it. We’re feared by sailors for a reason. We’ve sunk ships and steered others off course. We’ve drug many a man to an icy grave. And we do it without rhyme or reason besides our own impulsive desires. Sometimes it’s just to see how long it will take for the light to leave the eye or their blood to dye the water. We’re considered the sirens and demons of the sea for a reason.”

“But you’re not like that,” Kara insisted.

“Aren’t I?” Lena’s voice cracked and her eyes glossed with tears. “My hands are stained just like any other of my kind. Why else would I be so perfect for enacting Lillian’s dark magic?”

“Because you didn’t live like the others. Because you never lost your compassion. Because you chose to leave that behind.”

Lena tensed in place before she slowly lifted her head to meet Kara’s blue gaze. Her eyelids quivered as her mouth slowly opened and closed as if she had forgotten how to speak. 

“How do you know that?” Lena choked out.

“After you killed that sailor,” Kara winched in pain as her shoulders contorted her back as she pushed herself up. “You said you didn’t realize what you’d done until you lost your skin, but I know you had regrets about it long before then. That’s why you left your family and your life and decided to go out on your own.”

“How do you know that?” Lena whispered again, her eyes swimming as she stepped forward.

“Because I was there,” Kara sighed, her hold on her pillow slacking. “When you swam from Ireland to Demark then to Newfoundland. I was there to keep you warm as swam under the ice in the Beaufort Sea on those coldest nights. I kept the skies clear on those nights as she swam across the Atlantic so the fishhook never left your view. I kept you safe from predators and fishermen as you ventured lower in the Bering Sea even though I knew you were scared of those harpoons. There was barely a moment I left your side. I just…” Kara closed her eyes and tightened her hold once again. “I just couldn’t bear to leave you alone.”

“Then why didn’t I see you?” Lena asked in a small voice. 

“I… I couldn’t,” Kara hung her head. “It was forbidden.” 

“So, you just left me alone?” 

“Lena…” Kara raised her head but her words failed her when she saw the watery anger in Lena’s piercing green eyes.

“You saw how alone and desperate I was, but you just kept your distance,” Lena stated, her tone hard and even but her streaming tears betrayed her. “All my solitude, loneliness, and fear on those cold, dark nights and you didn’t do a damn thing but watch.”

“What did you expect me to do?” Kara asked, her own voice rising. “Dive under the ice with you?”

“You could have done something.”

“I did!” The tearing of the fabric of the pillowcase and the explosion of feathers interrupted her while also managing to calm her down slightly. She slumped back against the bed, her hands holding the tattered remains of the fabric limp by her sides. “And that’s exactly what damned us both to this hell.”

Lena’s own anger began to diminish upon seeing Kara’s defeat. Tentatively, she took a step forward, still remaining out of reach while still inviting Kara to continue.

“That night of the winter solstice,” Kara mumbled. “The day of the longest night. You were just so lonely and cold, and I couldn’t stand it. I had to do something. So, when you fell asleep that night…”

“You came to me in my dream,” Lena finished, her eyes glazing over as she began to surrender herself to her memories. “You were the one who encouraged me to sing again.”

If there was ever a dream that Lena remembered, it was that one. Never had she had a dream before where everything had been so bright and full of life or where she had felt so lucid and free. She can’t say that she remembers Kara in the dream, but that there was definitely someone else in it that she talked to. Someone that made her so full of optimism and love like she hadn’t in years. When she awoke, most of the details of the dream had become foggy, but the urge to sing as well as the idea of hope remained. While the urge to sing may have dwindled over the years, the hope had somehow remained.

“I thought it would help you feel connected again,” Kara whispered. “I know you left them, but I know you still cared about them. I thought that singing would bring you back with them. I just didn’t want you to feel so alone because you weren’t, but I still couldn’t be there like I wanted to be.” Kara slowly raised her head and gave Lena a small, sad smile. “And I hoped that singing would remind you of who you are: not the sea siren like you feared you were, but the kindhearted selkie I saw you as.”

“Oh, Kara,” Lena sighed, pushing her hair out of her face and tugging on the ends. Even as an angel, Kara still had that heart of a saint and mind of a fool that made Lena’s chest tighten.

“But it didn’t matter,” Kara shook her head as her voice and head dropped again. “I thought I could pass it off as an instigated but necessary epiphany for you, but the council didn’t see it that way. They credited it as an error caused by poor judgement.”

“Why?” Lena’s browed wrinkled as she took a step towards Kara, her hands itching to comfort the distraught blonde, but she feared she’d only cause her more pain. Her green eyes darted to the stain on the blankets beside Kara from where her blood had run earlier.

“Because I lost track of time inside your dreams,” Kara explained in a small voice that had become common over the course of the evening. “I’d never been underwater or saw the world like yours that rested beneath. It was so beautiful and memorizing with the way the water made every moment slow and graceful. And you were there and talking to me. After all those months of watching, I finally got to converse, and I just couldn’t stop. I kept wanting more.” Kara closed her eyes as her mouth twisted on a sob. “My other charges never even crossed my mind. I… I didn’t even think about Clark until it was too late.” She attempted to muffle her sob against the tattered pillow case in her hand, but it barely dampened the sound.

“Oh, Kara,” Lena said as she finally caved and rushed forward. 

Lena would never have considered herself to be much of a comforter. If anything, she would just lump that trait in with her inability to handle any sort of deep emotion. It had been too long since she had sought comfort from her actual selkie mother, and she certainly never received any from the Luthors, but Kara was different. Kara had continually shown her an underserving amount of care, and Lena knew that Kara deserved better in return. Lena wrapped her arm around Kara’s shoulders, careful of the still vivid and seeping wounds along Kara’s back. Just like the last time she had seen them, the parallel scars were crosshatched with smaller slashes, but these were fresh. Lena’s eyes darted to the dried red blood underneath Kara’s finger nails in her clenched fist and her stomach twisted. She pulled the sobbing angel closer to her and rested Kara’s head against her shoulder so she could gently wipe away the tears that ran down Kara’s red face. 

But just when Lena thought that she just may have been getting the hang of the whole comforting thing, Kara pulled away.

“No, no,” Kara mumbled as she shook her head and wiped her nose with the fabric she still held clenched in her hand.

“Am I doing it wrong?” Lena asked, her eyes darting frantically from the fabric in Kara’s hand to her own tearstained shoulder to Kara’s sniveling face before repeating the process again.

“No, I did,” Kara said before she took another shuttering breath. “It was that night after I left your dream that I found my charge dead.” She closed her eyes and bit her lip while choking back a sob. “It was that night that I took two human lives.”

“They killed a child, Kara,” Lena said softly as she placed her hand on Kara’s thigh.

“That doesn’t excuse my actions,” Kara whispered. “There is never a justifiable reason for a guardian angel to take another’s life. Our job is to protect life, not destroy it.”

“Is that why you lost them?” Lena carefully asked and squeezed Kara’s thigh.

“It’s why I lost many things,” Kara gritted her teeth slightly as her back tensed. “It’s why we lost many things.”

Lena’s heart began to pulse in her temple, chest, and neck, but she did her best to displace them as her began to rub Kara’s thigh. This wasn’t about her. Kara was the one that lost her wings, her job, and memories. Lena told herself that her only purpose for being here was to provide comfort regardless of how lonely she had been in that cold ocean alone. Kara was the victim. Anything Lena had had happened to her was her fault alone.

“The council refused to believe that an angel could jump from innocence and purity to rage and murder all in one night,” Kara explained softly as she stared off in the distance at nothing. “These were the same high beings that had caught the apple as rotten as Lucifer when it had just barely begun to bruise. How could they have let an apple as worm infested as myself exist so long under their noses? No, there had to be a reason for my sudden turn. A snare laced with a poison so deadly that it consumed the infallible before an antidote could be administered.” Kara took another calming breath while she crumbled the fabric up into a ball in her hand. “Lucifer’s poison was pride. And mine…” Kara exhaled through her nose sharply. “Mine was lust.” Kara closed her eyes, tensing ever harder under Lena’s touch before she added in a whisper, “lust for you.”

Lena’s rubbing hand on Kara’s thigh stilled. It wasn’t that she felt disgusted or appalled to hear that Kara had thought about her that way. Lena would be lying to herself if she hadn’t ever thought of Kara that way. Most nights lately, Lena found herself wanting nothing more than having her lips and hands on the blonde beside her and receiving the same in return from her. And it wasn’t that Lena was bothered that Kara had these feelings for her so long ago before Lena even knew her enough to give her a name. If anything, it secretly relieved Lena to know that she wouldn’t have to worry about Kara being turned off by her seal skin. No, what bothered her was that she felt violated by this council. That this council of strangers had peaked into their relationship and saw only reason to blame.

“I’m sorry,” Kara continued as she started to slowly curl more in on herself. “I tried to fight them, but they wouldn’t listen. They wrote off everything I said with it being tainted and corrupt by my sin. The bloodstains on my hands only served to show how too far gone and beyond saving I was. There was no hope for me. There was no sacrifice that would cleanse me. I’d only get worse. They couldn’t expunge the sin from my body, but they could expunge the sinful from heaven. So….” Kara cringed at the memory. “They did just that. They cast me out and took my wings to ensure that I could never return.”

“Oh Kara, I’m so sorry,” Lena said as she squeezed Kara’s thigh and went to wrap her arm around Kara once more, but Kara held her back.

“That’s not all,” Kara’s voice strained as she spoke, but she couldn’t find the strength to lift her eyes to Lena’s sympathetic green. “Lucifer fell because he fell too much in love with himself. However, I fell because I fell too much in love with my charge.” Kara’s neck curled deeper down so that Lena could only see a mop of wavy blonde hair rather than Kara’s face in front of her. “The council felt as if I wasn’t independent in my failings… That I didn’t just step on the snare but was stabbed with or prodded by it. They didn’t see any reason why a flawless being could become that corrupt on her own.”

“Kara,” Lena leaned back, her hand on Kara’s thigh dropping as the sense of dread and anxiety that she had upon first entering Kara’s room rushed back, but this time, they held a validity she couldn’t shake. “What are you saying?”

“The council felt as if my own failing was not solely my own, but a shared failing.” Kara’s arms came to curl around her stomach and her hands fisted against her shirt. “They decided that it was not enough that the punishment be limited to me, the one of lust, but also the subject of my lust.” Kara took another ragged breath that strained against a sob. “That’s why they sent you to the Luthors.” 

Lena could hear Kara hold her breath as she waited for a reaction, but Lena couldn’t seem to summon one. Too much seemed to be consuming her internal to reflect on her external just yet. The anxiety from before had ripped through her lungs and robbed her from taking the breath she so desired while the anger seemed to shove everything downwards into her stomach except for the lump in her throat. And it was there in her stomach that the anger within her began to smolder and burn. What right did a group of supposedly higher and superior beings have to place the blame of events happening outside her knowledge or comprehension on her? Kara wasn’t the victim. She was. Kara had control and knowledge of the situation. Lena hadn’t done a damn thing wrong. The flames of rage licked at her chest. All this time, she had considered her enslavement at the Luthor manor as a result of ill fortune and ill choices, but now she knew better. 

When Kara finally did find the strength to look up after several long moments, all she saw were the black eyes of a selkie before her.

“Lena…” Kara started, but she was cut off with a hiss.

“No,” Lena snarled as she stood up, her own nails cutting into her palms as her fists curled. “Three years, Kara. Do you have any idea how long that is? Do you have any idea how many nights I’ve spent on that damn dock staring at the waves and wishing for them to either give me life or take mind? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had my palm cut open under a full moon? Do you have any idea how much _agony_ is involved in blood magic? Do you know what it’s like to have your skin feel it’s going to be seared off your bones? Or like nails are running through your blood? That’s what blood magic feels like. But that is _nothing_ like living without my skin.” 

“I’m sorry,” Kara whimpered as curled impossibly further in on herself.

“I live in a hell I don’t deserve.” Lena’s nostrils flared as she bared her teeth into the darkness.

“And it’s my fault,” Kara said in a choked whisper. “It’s all my fault, and I’m so sorry.”

Kara’s hurt and sincere tone shocked Lena out of her rage long enough for her to turn towards her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the pitiful state of the angel who sat on the edge of her bed with her knees tucked into her chest and her head tucked into her knees in a tight ball. Remains of the pillow’s white feathers littered the floor around her while red blood stained her bedding, back, and hair. The sight struck Lena with enough force to push the flames of anger back into her stomach, and her chest became heavy with remorse.

She wasn’t the only one damned.

“Kara, it’s not all your fault,” Lena said with a much softer voice. 

“It is and I’m sorry,” Kara repeated increasingly faster against strangling sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorryImsorry.”

Soon her sobs overtook her, but Lena was quick to wrap her arm around her so they didn’t have to cry alone. They were both in hell, and while Kara had played a part in Lena’s damnation, she wasn’t that issued the sentence. As much as Lena wanted to, she couldn’t direct her anger at Kara. She didn’t have the heart. She was still suffering from the last time she was made at Kara, and it wouldn’t be long now before Kara was suffering too. For now, Lena decided the best thing she could do now was just to hold Kara and pray that her angel powers would take away some of the pain.

They sat like that on the bed for a long time with both of them just holding each other even after the sobs and tears had faded away. Kara’s head was pressed against Lena’s chest, and Lena wondered if her heartbeat was as loud for Kara as it was for her. Lena did her best to focus on Kara’s now much calmer breathing and do her best to let that calm her and distract her from the now. Both were surprised when they heard Kara’s bedroom door creak open.

“Hey,” Alex said in tone too calm and neutral too be calming. “I’m sorry, but Lena it might be best if you head out soon. My parents are on their way back here.”

“Why?” Kara sniffled as she sat up a bit. “They don’t usually come back until evening.”

“Dad’s really sick," Alex explained, her eyes darting to the window. "He passed out in the field.”


	29. Chapter 29

“Wait what?” Kara asked.

She moved to stand, but she grimaced in pain as her back contorted. Lena’s concerned hands rushed to follow her, offering as much support as she could, but her stomach twisted when noticed just how damaged her girlfriend’s back was. Alex’s face dropped even further when she saw Kara’s state: her face stained with tears and her clothes stained with blood.

“They’re bringing him back now, but you can’t see him like this,” Alex told her franticly. “Hank’s helping mom carry him, and we don’t have time to explain this or Lena for that matter.”

“But I want to see Jeremiah,” Kara argued, her voice pleading. "I can't just leave him."

“I’ll help clean Kara up,” Lena said, her hand laying gently on Kara’s shoulder. “And then I’ll leave or hide before he gets here.”

“Are you sure?” Alex asked.

“Believe me, I know a thing or two when it comes to cleaning scars,” Lena said sourly, her own scarred hand clenching into a fist beside her.

“Okay, there’s rags in the bathroom,” Alex said gesturing behind her. “Kara can show you. And Winn’s ointment is beneath her bed. You probably have about ten minutes, and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to try and stall.”

Alex left and Lena followed, gathering up several rags that she found while Kara reluctantly trailed behind her. It didn’t take long before they were both back in Kara’s room, sitting on her bed. An uncomfortable silence fell upon them as Kara chewed her lip and stared at her lap while Lena fiddled with the now damp rags in her hands.

“I’m going to need for you take your shirt off,” Lena said softly.

While Kara may have been in one of the backless shirts Eliza had made for her years prior, her blood had since seeped beneath the fabric, beyond where Lena could access without removal of shirt. A bitter thought of irony crossed Lena’s mind as she realized this would be the first time she saw the blonde topless. And on top of that, they were both in her bed. It was only fitting that fate would continue to be so cruel to either of them.

Kara nodded before slowly turning around so her back was facing the selkie. Taking several deep breathes to steady herself, Kara gripped the ends of her shirt before gently peeling it off her torso. She hissed quietly as the fabric tugged at the parts of her skin where the sticky blood had dried against it. When cool fingers came to help pull the cloth away from the wounds, Kara couldn’t help but flinch. Fearful she had caused her pain, Lena’s fingers fell back to lap as Kara jerked her shirt the rest of the way off. It was one thing for Alex to see her like this, but Lena? There was only so much of Kara’s damage that Lena could take before she ran, Kara told herself. She was only broken and fallen and impossible to love and now the evidence of that was right in front of Lena's face. Kara curled her now discarded shirt into a ball and held it against her chest, curling around it and blocking it from Lena’s view. 

Lena let out a quiet breath as she carefully brushed Kara’s blonde hair away from the cuts. Her stomach clenched and twisted further as she saw the extent of the damage. Kara had shown the cuts to her once before. She knew they weren’t just two parallel slashes, but also included a series of smaller cuts that crosshatched them. At the time, Lena had told herself that it was just part of being a fallen angel. That perhaps the scars were irritable or something along those lines. But deep down, she knew. She knew they were self-inflicted and she couldn’t help but feel like she was the cause of them. Lena may not have been the one that had blood beneath her finger nails, but she was the trigger. She was the reason this blonde woman she loved was like this. Kara deserved better than her. She would be better without her. But for now, Lena intended to attempt to heal some of the damage she had caused. 

Gingerly, Lena softly placed the damp cloth to Kara’s back. Even though she had mentally prepared herself for Kara to flinch when she made contact, Lena still couldn’t help but pull away when she did. 

“I’m sorry,” Lena swiftly said, her mind beating herself up for not being gentler.

“No, it’s fine,” Kara whispered. “Keep going.”

As carefully and gingerly as she could, Lena wiped the cuts cleans, scrubbing gently at the places where the blood had already dried. Every time Kara sucked in her breath or tensed underneath, Lena uttered another apology. 

When she saw Kara’s hand move to fist the bedding, Lena hesitantly placed her free hand on top of it. To her surprise, Kara flipped her hand over so she could squeeze Lena’s hand in hers. After a brief moment of hesitation, Lena spread and laced her fingers through Kara’s, ignoring the intense discomfort it brought. There was no reason Kara had to be only one who made herself vulnerable.

When Kara’s back had been cleaned, they both heard a shuffling outside and their hands fell apart. Kara leapt from the bed, grabbing a fresh backless shirt and throwing her cloak on over it. Lena stood up, her hands still holding the now bloodied rags, watching Kara move around the room as well as she tried to figure out where she could make her own exit.

“I’ll take those,” Kara murmured as she removed the rags from Lena’s hands and threw them in a bin by the door for later disposal. 

“What about Winn’s medicine?” Lena asked, her throat still tight at the thought of Kara’s injured back.

“I’ll apply it later,” Kara told her, her head whipping back and forth before her sights settled on the window in her bedroom. “Do you think you can climb out the window?”

“Um, yeah,” Lena said, chewing her bottom lip slightly as she thought about the prickly bushes underneath she’d have to avoid.

“Okay, great,” Kara said, as she moved and opened up the window. “You’ll need to hurry. They’re almost here.”

“Wait,” Lena’s hand snagged Kara’s. “Will I see you again tonight?”

“I’m not sure,” Kara sighed. “It depends on how things are with Jeremiah. But I’ll try for tomorrow night.”

“Okay,” Lena said her gaze falling to their intertwined hands. “Kara… you know this doesn’t change how I feel about you, right?”

Lena looked up to find Kara’s blue eyes wide and intent on Lena’s green. Lena knew Kara didn’t believe her, but that didn’t mean Lena wouldn’t at least try to make her understand. Yes, she was mad and hurt, but she still couldn’t bring herself to blame Kara for that, especially when she considered all the things that were to come. Kara may think that Lena wouldn’t want to be with her because of her past, but Lena knew Kara wouldn’t want to be with her because of her future. A future that was coming all too close to the present. Cupping her cool hand against Kara’s hot cheek, Lena leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against Kara’s lips, attempting to pour as much love as she could into the single kiss.

“I hope I see you soon,” Lena whispered against Kara’s lips as she pulled back slightly.

They both jumped as they heard the front door open. Kara quickly spun around, trying to block whatever she could Lena on the off chance someone came to open her bedroom door. Lena gave Kara’s hand a soft squeeze before slipping out the window. She just barely avoided the bushes below as she pulled up the hood of her cloak to obscure her face against the now setting sun. Upon looking down at her hands, she noticed the red tint to them. It wasn't often that her hands were stained with blood that wasn't her own. She’d have to wash them before Lillian or Lex noticed. 

Lena’s stomach sank as she noticed just how faint the line on her palm had become. It wouldn’t be long before Lillian’s blade reopened it. Before all of this – the nights on the docks, the Shakespeare plays, the fruit taste tests—ended. Nothing would be same. Soon it would be Kara's blood staining her hands once again. 

Why hadn’t she just told Kara she loved her before it was too late?

\---

Kara walked out of her bedroom just in time to see Jeremiah being carried in with one arm draped over Eliza’s shoulders and another over their neighbor’s, Hank, shoulders. Despite being covered in sweat, Jeremiah’s face had gone pale and his eyes drooped. He still tried to move his legs, but thankfully, due Hank’s larger size, his feet didn’t exactly touch the ground well enough for him to try and support his weight on his own. 

“Lay him in here,” Alex said as she hastily cleared pillows and clutter off the couch.

Due to the position, Eliza had to shrug off Jeremiah’s arm and surrender it to Hank who led Jeremiah over to the couch where he slumped down on to it. Propping up his head with a pillow, Eliza’s frantic hands moved along Jeremiah’s clammy face and forehead. 

“What happened?” Kara asked as she rushed forward even though Eliza and Hank blocked her from getting too close.

“Alex, could you put a kettle on the stove?” Eliza asked her daughter though her focus failed to leave her husband. “And grab some Echinacea from the herb garden as well.”

“Echinacea?” Hank asked, crossing his arms. “He wasn’t bit by a snake, Eliza. There’s no poison in his system.”

“It works as fever reducer as well,” Eliza explained as she pressed her palm against her husbands’ forehead. “What would you suggest then?”

“Ginger, maybe broadleaf,” Hank suggested with a shrug.

“The water,” Jeremiah croaked. 

“Kara,” Eliza said as she pushed Jeremiah’s wet hair off his sweating forehead.

Kara didn’t need to be told twice. She moved to kitchen with Alex and quickly retrieved a glass of water as she was told. Alex had already begun preparing the Echinacea tea, mumbling to herself about whether or not to include lavender in the concoction or not. When Alex got like this, Kara had learned it was best to just leave her alone.

“Here,” Kara said as she offered the glass of water to Eliza. 

Eliza nodded and carefully propped up Jeremiah before she helped him hold the glass to his lips. A bit of the water sloshed down onto his shirt and lap, but Jeremiah still managed to get most of it down. From the water he didn’t drink, Eliza used it dampen a cloth to rest on his forehead.

“What happened?” Kara repeated, more insistently this morning.

“I’m not sure,” Eliza said. “He seemed fine last night and this morning. We even planned on ending the day in the field early so we could go shopping for new seeds in the market today. Hank, weren’t you there with him when it happened?”

“I was helping him put in a fence along our property line,” Hank explained. “We thought it would keep the wolf damage to a minimum this month. He was fine and then he started to get winded and he asked for a break. I kept on with the work and then the next thing I knew, he had passed out. We tried to revive him the best we could, but he just seems to be getting worse now.”

“I have the tea,” Alex said, bringing in a steaming cup of herbal tea. “I also brought some dried Echinacea as well if the tea doesn’t work.”

“Thank you, Alex,” Eliza said as she took the tea out of her daughter’s hand and wafted it under her husband’s nose. All it seemed to do was trigger a brief coughing fit.

“Maybe all he needs is rest,” Hank suggested.

“I don’t know,” Eliza murmured, her doctoring instincts taking over. “Alex, does this at all remind you of what you had earlier this month?”

“Oh, um,” Alex scratched her head as she struggled to think. “I bit I guess, but mine wasn’t nearly as fast acting.”

“But we still don’t know what caused it,” Eliza noted, her brow furrowing in thought.

“I thought you just had a bug,” Hank said. “You slept it off, didn’t you? Maybe that’s all Jeremiah needs too. I can bring over some more herbs if you need.”

“No,” Eliza shook her head firmly. “Alex took her tree form and I think that my husband should too.”

“Eliza, look at him,” Hank said, waving his arm at the sweating, quivering man on the couch. “He can barely keep his eyes open, let alone take his tree form. Not all illnesses are the same. Just because it worked for your daughter, doesn’t mean it will work for your husband. The best thing for him would probably be just rest and herbal tea.”

“No,” Eliza said more forcefully than Kara had ever heard her in life and she couldn’t help but take a step back. “He’s my husband and I’ll decide what is best. Not you.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Hank insisted in a softer voice, holding up his hands and hanging his head in surrender. “He’s one of my best friend’s Eliza. I just want what’s best for him.”

“Then help me get him outside,” Eliza ordered, already draping one of Jeremiah’s arms over her shoulder.

Hank was quick to respond and it was a good thing too because Kara doubted her adopted mother would have been able to carry Jeremiah by herself. On any other day, Kara would have automatically offered help, but with her injured back and recent dwindling powers, she doubted that she would be able to offer her mother much help. Besides, the last thing any of the Danvers needed right now was to have to awkwardly explain the situation regarding their adopted half-angel daughter who was actually fallen.

As Hank and Eliza moved Jeremiah up and towards the door, Alex snagged Kara’s cloak and held her back.

“Do you think you can heal him?” Alex asked in a low voice, her eyes pleading.

“I… I don’t think so,” Kara gravely admitted as she hung her head. “I wasn’t able to heal you before- when you were sick or injured. I don’t think I’ll do Jeremiah much good.”

“Can you at least try?” Alex asked. “Please?”

Alex wasn’t one to beg and she definitely wasn’t one to give puppy dog eyes, but apparently, she had picked up a few tricks from Maggie. Still, Kara didn’t feel comfortable trying. She was fallen angel – a monster. Everything she touched became corrupt and rife with pain. That was her destiny. Why else had she’d been having such intense and angry mood swings lately? She was damned and her hands were stained. Her own blood still stained her fingernails. And Kara just couldn’t bring herself to try and heal the only father figure she ever knew and inadvertently damage or damn him in the process.

Both sister’s head jerked towards the open door when they head the all too familiar splintering gasp and crackling groan of a dryad taking tree form. Now obscuring the sun from the window stood a mighty red cedar on their front lawn. The sight had become a familiar one in Kara’s life with the Danvers frequent tree transformation every winter season, but this time, her stomach twisted as she noticed the yellow needles on the ends of the drooping branches. Not even Alex looked this bad when she turned. 

Eliza returned to the living room with fretful hands and nervous eyes. Even the house plants that typically perked up when she passed by now drooped when she neared. When Eliza sat down on the couch where her husband laid minutes prior, Kara fought the urge to sit down beside her and offer what little comfort she could, but comfort had always been where Eliza’s excelled, not her.

“I’ll bring out some chamomile tea,” Hank announced much too cheerily as he tried to comfort the distraught family. Kara thought that someone who had lost all of their family suddenly by fire would know a thing or two when it came to condolences. “Alex, is there still water in the kettle or should I warm up more?” 

“There’s still some on the stove,” Alex mumbled, her arms crossed in front of her as she stared at Jeremiah’s unfinished tea still on the coffee table.

“Alex, you should come take a seat next to me,” Eliza said, patting the cushion next to her.

“I’m fine standing,” Alex mumbled, unable to lift her gaze to meet her mother’s.

“Kara?” Eliza asked, and Kara finally caved.

The blonde shuffled her feet as she moved to sit down next to her mother and she prayed with every bone in her body to the heavens that disgraced her that her mother would not ask her to remove her cloak. And thankfully, Eliza didn’t. Instead, she just took Kara’s hand in her own and squeezed. While they weren’t the same familiar cool touch of the selkie, Kara still found the touch comforting. It wasn’t until Eliza interlaced her fingers with Kara’s did Kara realize that Lena had done the same with her earlier and Kara’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe Lena really did still have feelings for her.

But before Kara could dwell on that inappropriate thought for too long, Jeremiah emerged carrying two cups of tea. He offered one out for Eliza who declined with a shake of her head and then to Kara who also refused. Alex, however, gladly took the cup and began sipping on the hot contents. Hank did the same at an equally eager pace with the steaming cup that both Eliza and Kara had refused. Kara cringed when she heard him slurp.

“Is there anything else I can do, Eliza?” Hank asked. “I’ll gladly stay and help prepare dinner.”

“No, that’s fine,” Eliza said with a small smile. “Don’t fret about us. I’m sure everything will be alright.”

“I’m sure it will,” Hank said with a smile that Kara knew was forced.

Alex drank the rest of her tea with a large swig, blatantly ignoring the hot temperature as she forced it down her throat. Hank’s eyes widened as he saw her slam the cup down on the coffee table next to Jeremiah’s still full cup. 

“I’m going to get dinner started,” she mumbled, not looking Kara in the eyes and Kara’s gut knotted with guilt.

“I should probably get going myself then,” Hank said hastily, setting his still full tea cup on the coffee table next to the others. “Someone has to finish building that fence, right?”

“Do be careful, won’t you Hank?” Eliza asked, not bothering to get up to show him the door.

“Of course, Eliza,” Hank said with another forced smile. “I always am.”

Just as Hank opened the front door, a crash came from the kitchen. Kara immediately jumped to feet, gritting her teeth at the flash of pain from her back as she hurtled herself towards the sound. She was already kicking herself for letting Alex go in alone. She wasn’t in a state to be doing any sort of housework. This was probably just the start of Alex’s inevitable break down. After everything Kara had put her through the past several weeks, she was surprised it hadn’t happened soon. It was all her fault and she needed to fix it and be the sister Alex needed before it was too late. But as she rounded the corner and stomach dropped.

There on the floor, amidst plants and shattered tea cups, laid the unconscious body of her red-headed dryad sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my life went to hell in a hand basket this past month, but ya girl is back on track. Christmas break is here, I'm snowed in, and my cat's mad at me since I won't let her eat the poisonous poinsettia, so I pretty much have nothing to do but write and it's great. I've also started a Christmas fic that I plan on updating daily if y'all are into that sort of thing. I'm still super sorry for putting this story on hold for a month, but trust me, I'm going to finish this thing if it kills me.  
> Thank you all so much for this story surpassing the 1000 kudos mark. I am humbled and flattered and I really just don't deserve y'all. I hope your holidays treat you well this season because y'all deserve it.  
> Thank you again.


	30. Chapter 30

“Alex?” Kara started slowly before the numbness within her was suddenly overloaded with agony. “ALEX!”

She launched herself across the room in to a sprint. Her kneecaps thudded against the kitchen floor as she fell hard on them by her sister’s head, but she didn’t feel it. No, her only concern was Alex; everything else fell away. Her shaking hands smoothed the wet red hair off her sister’s heated face and forehead. She was burning up, but unresponsive. 

“Alex, can you hear me?” Kara spluttered, her own panic muddling her words. 

But Alex didn’t move. Instead, her eyes just remained shut, her jaw slack, and limbs limp. Cradling her dryad sister’s head in her lap, Kara’s failed to hold back her own tears as she wailed for her adoptive mother.

“Oh, my gosh,” Eliza gasped as she spotted her two daughters in the kitchen. She moved slower than Kara, no doubt already exhausted from almost losing her husband and the current shock of potentially losing her eldest daughter. She knelt down next to Alex, her face hard except for the sadness in her eyes, and pressed her fingers against the side of Alex’s neck.

“I- I don’t think she’s breathing,” Kara choked out between her tears.

“It’s faint,” Eliza explained, her doctoring eyes scanning over her daughter’s face. “So is her pulse.”

“What happened?” Kara asked frantically, her hold tightening on Alex’s head. “She was fine just moments ago. There was nothing wrong!”

“I don’t know,” Eliza whispered as a sadness filled her gaze as she cupped her daughter’s cheek. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Hank asked from the doorway he stood in.

“Check on Jeremiah,” Eliza told him, not taking her focus off her daughter. “Make sure he didn’t take a sudden turn too.”

Hank nodded, but neither of them acknowledged it. Instead, they fretted over Alex as Kara tried to hold back her sobs while the sound of Hank’s heavy steps slowly faded away.

“You need to heal her, Kara,” Eliza said suddenly.

Kara sniffled. “What?”

“Heal her,” Eliza repeated, more forcibly this time and Kara looked up to notice just how fragile Eliza’s façade of emotional control was. 

“I…I can’t,” Kara stammered as her fear and inadequacy overcame her. 

Why hadn’t she just gone to Eliza sooner? She wouldn’t be looking at her like that if she knew the truth. If she knew her adoptive daughter was really a fallen angel who had recently lost her ability to heal and now only caused harm. Alex’s arm still bore the bruise to prove it. And if she died then and there, she always would. 

In that moment, Kara hated the council for only taking her wings and not taking her life.

“Please, Kara.” Eliza’s lip quivered. “I can’t lose her. Please.” Her voice broke. “I can’t lose my daughter.”

Kara’s breath hitched. Eliza had never been one to lose it. Not even moment ago when Jeremiah looked the worst he’s ever been. She was the true strength and support in Danvers family. She was the trunk and everyone else were her branches; she stayed grounded so she could hold up those she loved. But a trunk without its branches is just a log.  
“Okay,” Kara whispered, her attention falling back on her sister’s seemingly lifeless face. “Okay.”

Her hands shook as she slowly petted Alex’s red, placing her hands so her palms were on Alex’s temple and her thumbs caressed Alex’s cheeks. Forcing down a swallow, Kara’s eyes drifted close as she focused on the warmth of her sister’s face in her hands and did her best to hold back her tears. Then, as she always did when she tried to summon her healing powers, she called a soft hum to her lips and dove within herself as she sought out that side of herself that she typically kept locked away, searching for that secret light within her.

But she found nothing but darkness.

And Alex remained the same.

Tensing her grip and locking her jaw, Kara delved deeper within herself, spreading herself open internally. The scars on her back flared in resistance and plead for her to stop, but she still threw herself deeper into the dark abyss, finding nothing by obscurity and misery. 

And she hated it. 

She hated how she had changed so much in the past few days. How everything she once knew meant nothing now. How she had learned her whole life was a lie and punishment. She was in hell and hated it. 

She hated _them._

The dryads and the werewolves and the witches and everything else she had to tolerate in her life. She was alone, surrounded by people who didn’t understand her nor put in the effort in trying. They only knew enough to make demands and insisted she hide herself until it deemed fit for them. They were weak and pathetic. They didn’t deserve her or her labor. They were nothing but insignificant trash and she was above them. They—

Eliza’s sob broke Kara’s downward spiral of thought, jerking her back to reality.

What was she doing? This was Alex. _Her sister._ The one who hit every bump in the road to the market just to annoy her. The one who doctored up her scars every night and never uttered a complaint about the smell or inconvenience. The one who kept her secret for all her life and never loved her any less for it. Ever since Kara came into her life, this was the woman had done everything she could to protect her and love her the best she could even if that meant giving up parts of her own life. 

This was Alex. Her sister.

A spark appeared in the darkness and Kara quickly made a grab for it, clinging to it with all that she had. The longer she held on, the more the scars on her back throbbed, but she didn’t dare let go. Her brow broke a sweat and her breath soon became sharp pants as a fire seemed to tear through her veins. She clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth as she tensed and tightened her grip on her Alex’s skull. Agony burned through her but she refused to let go. Dimly, she registered a voice that she assumed to be Eliza telling her stop, but she ignored it. She could take it. This wasn’t about her anyway. This was for her sister and that was a burden she would always bear.

The once soft hum on her lips had morphed into a sharp wail as the pain spiked. Kara’s back snapped in an arch, lashing her head up towards the sky as she screamed. Her eyes opened but her sight had been robbed by the darkness. Something dripped down her chin, but it was too thick to be her tears.

But then it happened. 

The torture twisted into bliss and for a brief moment, Kara remembered what it was like to fly above the clouds and heed a beloved’s prayer. A white, blinding light pushed away the blackness of pain and nothingness, soothing the rawness of her scars and throat. The sensation rushed through her arms and down to her palms, illuminating the entire kitchen in a flash of light like lightening does the night in a summer storm. 

Alex’s head jerked back as a loud gasp filled her lung. The relief that filled Kara in that moment rapidly chased away the light’s euphoria as well as her strength in an instance. Kara’s palms lost their grip on Alex’s temple and fell to the floor as Kara slumped to the side, her shoulder hitting the hard wood of the floor just before gentle hands caught her head. Wearily, Kara blinked up to see her adoptive mother cradling her head with an expression Kara couldn’t determine as fear, awe, or a mix of the two. Eliza’s thumb stroked Kara’s chin and Kara caught a glimpse of red. Her nose was bleeding. Maybe that’s why she felt so light headed.

“Mom?”

Both heads snap to attention. While still looking very much weak and dazed, Alex had somehow pushed herself up into a sitting position where she held her head in her hands. Her face was still flushed and covered in sweat, but she was alive and moving.

“Alex,” Eliza breathed, reaching for her daughter and abandoning Kara. 

But Kara didn’t mind. She needed a moment to herself anyway. The feeling was just starting to return to her muscles and she didn’t need someone to tell her that her scars were bleeding again. A soreness and ache descended upon her like no other, but she clung to the fact that she had done it. She had healed her sister despite everything. Maybe she was an angel after all.

Then Alex threw up.

Eliza moved out of the way just in time as Alex retched. Alex’s hair was too short to hold back, but Eliza still smoothed it out of the way anyway, stroking her back as Alex emptied her stomach on the floor. Kara sat frozen in a daze simply staring as Eliza shouted for Hank to return.

Just as Eliza finished wiping Alex’s mouth and chin with her sleeve when Hank came lumbering in. His eyes widened and jaw dropped when he saw the sick but certainly responsive dryad that he had just left inches from death moments before. 

“How?” Hank gasped. "That's not possible."

“It doesn’t matter,” Eliza snapped at him before shifting to much gentler voice towards her daughter. “Alex, blossom, do you think you can take your tree form?”

“Eliza, I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hank insisted, but Alex contradicted him when she nodded.

“Hank, help me get her outside,” Eliza ordered as she slipped her Alex’s arm over her shoulders to help her stand. 

Despite Hank’s qualms, he quickly abided by Eliza’s command and pulled Alex’s other arm across his shoulder, and together they carried Alex outside. Kara remained on the floor, still too stunned to move. Moments later, she heard the crack telling her that her redhead sister was now a red cedar tree. Neither Eliza or Hank returned right away, leaving Kara alone in the kitchen with her shock and thoughts. 

The acidic smell of vomit prickled Kara’s nose and she moved her sleeve to cover her nose and block the smell, but she only smeared the blood from her nosebleed across her lips and chin. Stumbling to her feet, Kara sought out a rag that wasn’t covered in her blood from Lena cleaning her scars earlier. When she finally found one, she got to work cleaning up the mess she’d caused in the kitchen. On her knees, she scrubbed. Tears burned her eyes and her stomach lurched as she realized her darkest fears had been confirmed. In between her sobs, she utters pleas and begged for it not to be true, but knew it was pointless.

Prayers weren’t answered in hell. 

\---

Hank left soon after the entire ordeal came to a close. Kara urged Eliza to take her tree form to keep her safe, but Eliza refused. She still had one daughter to take care of. Still, she went to bed not long after, denying dinner and a cup of tea as well. Kara didn’t blame her though. She herself couldn’t stomach the thought of food or beverage either. She poured the rest of the kettle Hank had made down the drain and left it in the sink to deal with later. A part of her knew she should get to dressing her scars with the salve now that she had the chance, but a larger part told her she deserved to deal with the pain, that she needed to be punished.

A new shadow cast through her room as the sunset because of her sister’s red cedar form stood before her window. For a while, all Kara did was watch, even after the sun’s rays and light completely surrendered to the darkness. Maggie would probably be showing up soon and someone had to break the news to her. It wasn’t like there was anyone else to do it but Kara.

But Maggie never came. And for hours, Kara simply stood in a single place in her room, staring at the sister she’d failed. Just like Jeremiah’s, Alex’s form also had branches with yellowing needles on the ends. It was the beginning of the end and Kara had only made it worse. She deserved punishment not them. 

\---

“Kara?” Winn asked, rubbing his eyes as he held up his lantern. “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

“Where is it?” Kara demanded, throwing Winn’s books behind her as she rifled through his bookcases. _“Where is it?!”_

The usually cluttered shop now stood in disarray as the storm known as Kara had plowed through it. Jars were broken, chairs were up turned, and odd smells wafted from peculiar locations. Winn had heard the ruckus and came prepared to fight off a burglar. Initially, he had been relieved when he recognized the intruder to be Kara, but seeing her in such a frantic and rabid state, he became rather frightened.

“Where is what?” Winn hated that his hand caused the lantern light to shake like his voice.

“The book with the angels you have,” Kara snapped, whipping her head towards him with flashing eyes. “Where is it?”

“It’s in my desk,” Winn explained, gesturing towards it.

Kara threw herself at it, hitting the desk with enough force to move it a few inches in her desperation. She threw open the cover and tore through the pages with such force that Winn worried she’d shred the book, but amazingly, the pages all remained intact. Winn’s lantern cast a light upon Kara’s back and he was unable to hold back a gasp as she saw her blood drenched cloak and back. Of course, he knew Kara’s scars had been bothering her, but he had no clue that they had been this bad.

“Kara…”

“Here,” Kara exclaimed, stepping aside so Winn could see the page she was jamming her finger at. “Read this. Now.”

Winn stumbled forward, his eyes wide as he took in the page that Kara pointed to. His breath caught for a moment, but he forced it down as he set his lantern on his desk beside the pages, illuminating the dark, shadowy figure on the page. Initially, he had overlooked this passage when he was doing his research. After all, Kara was half-angel. What business did that have to do with this demonic being?

“What does it say?” Kara’s breath is hot against Winn’s neck.

“It’s… um… about demons.” Winn gulped as he felt a shiver creep down his spine. “A certain type that’s… uh… only originated from beings that were once angels.” He paused for a few seconds as he quickly read over the page. “When an angel is cast of heaven, they’re sent to earth where they kind of begin a transition period…um.” He scratches the back of his head. “Apparently, it’s inevitable.”

“What is?” Kara’s voice had never sounded so small.

“Well, uh, there’s a reason not much is known about angel, even the fallen ones.” Winn clears his throat. “It’s because they don’t stay fallen for too long. Some can fight it off for a few months, even years, but sooner or later, without the heavenly powers and light to ward off the evil and temptation within them, all fallen angels succumb. And they become that..." Winn pointed to the figure that made his skin crawl the longer her looked at it. "They become demons.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk about a tonal shift from a Christmas fic...
> 
> And trust me, I'm going to finish this sucker if it kills me.
> 
> Also, I set up a [tumblr if y'all are at all interested in some mood boards or just want to yell at me](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aspirinforest)


	31. Chapter 31

When Kara did finally return home, she found no evidence that Maggie had visited. Her chest tightened when she realized that it would be up to her to deliver the news to her tomorrow. She had known she would dread their next encounter with one another, but she never imagined it would be this bad. 

Putting Comet back into the stable and feeding him one of the apples Winn had given her, Kara stumbled towards the house, her spine slumped with the new burden she carried. Her feet dragged herself forward while her mind drifted, carrying her along until she found her faces inches away from dark red bark. Alex’s bark. In previous times, Kara always had a difficult time distinguishing one tree from another and often time confused her dryad family with common place trees, but tonight, she didn’t need the yellowing needles or the awkward placement to tell her which tree was her sister. Her heart wouldn’t ache this way for any another. 

Kara’s fingers slowly ran themselves along the cracks and grooves in the thick bark, the roughness splintering the calloused pads of her fingers and sapping what little emotional control she had left. Her nostrils flared as she fought back the memories of loneliness these trees always brought and then the hatred with herself for the selfish thoughts. There were barely any tears left to cry but Kara still found enough to pour them down her cheeks and into the soil below. Her knees trembled before crumbling, hitting the soft ground with a thud as her hand refused to leave the bark of her sister.

The sister who always put her first. The sister who loved unconditionally. The sister whom Kara had failed.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Kara whispered, her head bowed. “I’m so sorry.”

\---

Kara slowly dismounted Comet’s saddle, savoring every spare second she could summon. When she was finally on her feet, she took out a sweet carrot from her pocket, triggering the horse’s ears to perk up. She knew she was spoiling him. Anyone else who rode him would have to endure his nose digging into their pockets in search for treats and his later grumpiness when he found none. But when Kara thought about how many carrots, apples, and other treats she wouldn’t be able to give him in the future, her heart ached. Her chance with Alex and Jeremiah had slipped on by, and Eliza was too busy tending to them and making herself busy for Kara to spoil. Comet still needed love though, and on a selfish level, Kara needed the love in return too.

Dropping one more carrot on the ground for Comet to munch on, Kara inhaled deeply, gathering what little strength she had. The stairs up to Maggie’s door were steep and each felt as if Kara were wading through thick mud just to successfully get her foot to the next. When she reached the door, her wrist suddenly weighed more than Comet, but when she knocked, her hits were soft. For a few moments, she prayed that Maggie wasn’t home, but unfortunately for her, the wooden door opened to reveal the woman werewolf, complete with disheveled hair and tired eyes.

“Kara?” Maggie yawned as she stretched out her back. “What are you doing here?”

“Alex…” Kara started softly, but wasn’t able to finish.

“Did she send you?” Maggie sighed and she rubbed her eyes. “Look, just tell her I’m sorry for not showing up last night. Something came up. Pack business.”

“I… can’t,” Kara’s whisper broke. 

“What?” Maggie pushed the dark hair out of her face and narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

“Alex…” Kara tried starting again but a sudden lump in her throat made that difficult.

“What about Alex?” Maggie demanded, her exhaustion melting into concern.

“She had to take tree form,” Kara whispered, her gaze falling to her hand, unable to look at the girlfriend of the one she failed.

“Tree form?” Maggie took a step forward as she crossed her arms in front, deliberately entering Kara’s personal space. “Why?”

“We don’t know.” Kara fidgeted with her wrists, still not meeting Maggie’s stare. “She passed out last night. We revived her long enough for her take her tree form, but… she’s really sick, Maggie.”

They were both silent for a minute, Maggie’s strength and toughness dissipating for a moment to reveal the scared and anxious woman underneath. But it didn’t take long for the hardness to snap back into place.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Maggie snapped, spinning around to grab her cloak from just inside the door. “Why didn’t you come get me last night when this happened?”

“I…” Kara’s stomach plummeted. “I didn’t know.”

“I should’ve been there.”

She pushed past Kara as she tied her cloak around her before coming to a sudden halt. Her fingers remained mid-tie and her feet mid-step as she locked eyes with the tall, broad shoulder man staring her down next to Kara’s white horse. Thankfully, Comet was much too busy nibbling on his carrot to notice the tension that flooded the air. 

“Maggie,” he said as he raised his chin, instantly triggering Maggie to lower hers.

“Lar Gand,” Maggie replied with bowed head.

Kara’s eyes widened as her memory took her back to the night at the bar during their double date. This man wasn’t just Mon’s father, but also Maggie’s alpha. The alpha who didn’t know about Maggie’s fake relationship with his son and her real dryad girlfriend. 

“I’m glad to see you’re already awake,” Lar Gand said as he strolled forward, his arms crossed behind his back. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Maggie replied, her head still down.

“Because you were going through every possible location of my son and strategizing, correct?” Lar Gand climbed the steps to the porch, his gaze hardening. “Not due to anxiety or worry I hope. Because that will get you nowhere and I don’t need someone that weak involved with my son.”

Maggie’s shoulders tensed. Even with her head bowed, Kara still caught the glint of her gritted teeth and the tendons straining in her neck. If this man was the favored one over Non, Kara had no desire of encountering the other. But still, Kara couldn’t help but notice the graying hair in Lar Gand’s brown hair or the lines and bags under his eyes that most likely came from his own worry. Compared to Maggie at the moment, he looked as if he were the weaker one.

“No sir,” Maggie told him with a tenor to his voice.

“Good.” Lar Gand stopped by the door. “Now, get some sleep. We’ll need in your best shape for tonight.”

“Yes sir.”

A hand clapped over her shoulder and his stern alpha demeanor shifted into one of a concerned father. His gesture coaxed Maggie to look up to meet his now gentle eyes.

“Don’t worry, Maggie,” he said in a soft voice. “We’ll find him.”

“I know,” she whispered, but her face said differently.

“I mean it, okay? Get some sleep.”   
He squeezed Maggie’s shoulder before letting his hand drop. He spared Kara a simple nod as he pushed her aside. After all, she was just a simple dryad to him. The action sent a pang of hatred through her chest as that darkness descended upon her mind, sending her thoughts down that all too familiar spiral before she could catch herself. How would he treat her differently if he knew just how powerful she was? How many ribs would Kara have to snap before the haughty alpha became a sniveling omega?

“Kara?”

Hearing the pain and concern in Maggie’s normally strong voice dissipated the darkness almost instantly. Tearing herself out of her glare with a shake of her head, Kara returned her focus to Maggie. With just one look at Maggie’s stunned face, Kara’s stomach lurched as she realized what had just happened and how easily the anger and darkness had taken over her, and she hadn’t even realized it. Just how much longer did she even have before she couldn’t snap out of it? How long until the darkness consumed her?

“I, uh.” Kara cleared her throat. “Is everything okay?”

Maggie sighed. Her previous concern over Kara’s actions fading away with her breath.

“Mon’s missing.” Maggie ran her fingers through her already messy dark hair. “No one’s seen him since yesterday morning. With the recent werewolf disappearances over the past couple of months, we’re all really worried. And it’s not like the upcoming full moon is making it any easier.”

“But won’t the transformation make it easier to find him?” Kara asked. 

“Not necessarily.” Maggie shook her head. “The change itself is painful and draining. If Mon’s injured or trapped somewhere, the change is only going to make that worst. If he’s too weak… it could possibly kill him.”

“Oh, Maggie…”

“And we can’t find a damn thing.” Maggie gritted her teeth. “We’re a pack of werewolves for God’s sake. You’d think we’d be able to find one of our own especially when he’s the Alpha’s son. And I’m stuck here with them.” With a frustrated cry, Maggie slammed her fist against the wooden frame of her door, splintering it against her fist. 

“Hey.” Kara placed her hand automatically on Maggie’s shoulder, ignoring the tension that gather beneath her palm. “It’ll be okay.”

“How do you know that?” Maggie tried to snap, but her voice cracked. “I’m stuck her playing the grieving girlfriend when my actual girlfriend needs me.”

“She knows you care.” Kara squeezed Maggie’s shoulder. “I’ll even tell her.”

“Wait.” Maggie swiftly unclipped the necklace from her neck and held out the long chain for Kara. It hung heavy with the weight of a golden ring. “Give this to her.”

“Maggie,” Kara gasped, her eyes widening. The ring looked like it cost more than Kara ever dreamed of making as a farmer.

“Please,” Maggie’s voice cracked again and her eyes glinted with tears. “Just give this to her. It’s all we have. I need…” Maggie sniffed and let out a shuddering breath. “I need her to know I’m all in. No matter what. Okay?”

Kara bit her lip, but nodded. “Okay.”

\---

“Kara!”

Lena, who had already been standing waiting for the dock, ran up to Kara as she dismounted Comet. The blonde stiffened in surprise as Lena threw her arms around her, but quickly return the hug as Lena buried her face into Kara’s shoulder and hair. They both held each other for several seconds longer than necessary, neither one of them wanting the moment to end.

“I was worried you won’t be able to come,” Lena whispered.

Kara sighed softly as she stroked Lena’s dark hair. “It’s been a rough since yesterday, but I really just had to see you.”

“How’s Jeremiah?” Lena asked, leaning back just enough so she could see Kara’s blue eyes.

“He’s….” Kara forced down a hard swallow. “He’s not doing too great. But’s he’s better than Alex.”

“Wait, what?” Lena stepped back in shock, her whole body going rigid, although her hold didn’t leave Kara. If anything, it tightened. If Lena’s skin wasn’t so pale already, Kara would have sworn that her knuckles had turned bone white. “What happened to Alex?”

“We... we don’t know.” The emotions Kara had been fighting all day finally boiled up. “She was fine and then she just- she just dropped.” She sucked in a jagged breath and accidentally released a sob.

Despite Lena’s initial uncertainty and the tension locking her shoulders, the selkie still pulled Kara’s close. Kara didn’t care if Lena’s stiffness felt akin to a rock. She just knew she couldn’t stand alone any longer. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured softly in her ear. “I’m so sorry.”

The sincerity in Lena’s voice only heightened Kara’s grief and she buried her face deeper into the source of that sweet saltwater scent.

“She- she was just lying there.” Kara’s voice was muffled into the crook of Lena’s neck, but neither of them seemed to care. “And there wasn’t anything I could do. I tried to heal her and I just made it worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena repeated, her hand slowly petting the back of Kara’s blonde hair. “I’m sure you did all you could. That’s all that matters.”

“No, Lena.” Kara pulled away, rubbing the back of her hand against her sniffling nose. “I made it worse.”

“What do you mean?” Kara was so distracted by how ghostly white Lena’s face looked in the moonlight that she missed Lena’s trembling hand.

“I tried to heal her,” Kara hiccupped. “But it only made it worse. I thought I did at first, but then she just started throwing up.”

“Wait, she threw up?” Lena’s head flicked upwards and her eyes widened. 

“Yes, all over the kitchen.” Kara fisted her hands into blonde hair. “Why do I always make everything worse?”

“Oh, thank heavens,” Lena sighed, the tension leaving her shoulders in one breath.

Kara scoffed. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”

Lena frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Lena… there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Kara closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. “It’s about me… being a fallen angel.”

“I thought we already went over this.” Lena’s brow furrowed and she reached to put her hand on Kara’s arm. “And I told you, it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“Well, um, the thing is,” Kara paused for a breath she suddenly felt like she couldn’t take, “I’m a bit more like Lucifer than I let on.”

Lena’s face wrinkled in further confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“There’s a reason why Winn couldn’t find much about fallen angels when he was doing his research earlier.” Kara locked her jaw as her gaze dropped. “It’s because they don’t exist for very long. They all follow the same path. The path towards becoming every other than the heavenly being they once were.”

“Wait…” Lena cocked her head back. “Are you saying they become demons?”

“The higher you are, the further you fall,” Kara said with a pained smile.

She expected Lena to gasp in horror or even throw herself in the sea beside them just to get away. Something to just get away from her as far as possible. That was all that made sense to her, but the last thing she expected was for Lena to throw her head back and laugh.

“You a demon?” Lena laughed again. “That has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Lena, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Lena’s grip tightened on Kara’s arm as she became more solemn. “I know evil, Kara. I’ve lived with it for three years. And I know you. Trust me, you’re the farthest thing from it.”

“Then you don’t know me as well as you think.” Kara’s shoulder and chin slumped. 

Lena’s hold loosened and her voice softened. “What are you not telling me?”

“I’ve been having these… thoughts lately,” Kara closed her eyes as she confessed. “These cruel, evil thoughts about hurting others. I want to say they aren’t mine, that I don’t mean them, but I do. First, they were just against the Luthors so I didn’t think much of it. But then they became against Alex and Maggie… and then I was acting on them. I broke a mug in the tavern that night Maggie said those things to you. I just couldn’t control it.” A lump formed in Kara’s throat, making her words thick. “And then I hurt Alex.”

“Kara…”

“I’m already falling, Lena.” Kara fisted her blonde hair in frustration as the scars on her back flared. “I can’t stop it. And I don’t know how long it’ll be before I hurt you too.”

Cold but tentative fingers wiped a tear from Kara’s cheek.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” Lena whispered.

“But I will,” Kara choked. “I will and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Kara.” Lena’s hands gently cupped Kara’s face, urging those blue eyes to open and meet her sincere green. “I’ve never met someone as kind, giving, or compassionate as you.” Kara tried to turn away but Lena held her firm. “You constantly care for me with touches and snacks and words. You show your affection for me in everything you say and do. You make me feel safer than I ever thought possible. You’re the reason I still sing. I’ve never felt more loved than when I’m with you.”

“Lena…”

“Before you even knew me, you jumped into a raging ocean during a storm to save me.” Lena’s hands tightened their hold as her green eyes bore deep into Kara’s. “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Lena sighed as she stroked her thumb along her cheek. “Kara, you may not have your wings, but you’re still an angel.”

“But what if that changes?” Kara asked slowly.

“It won’t,” Lena swallowed, her eyes glossing slightly. “I promise.”

\---

Lillian drummed her fingers along the red cedar wood of her desk as she stared up at the night sky through her manor window. The moon was nearly full. It wouldn’t be long now. Despite several prior failed attempts, this time, everything had gone exactly as planned. So far at least. And it had to. This was her last chance. And whatever preview fate would give her, she eagerly took.

The constellation she had been impatiently waiting for finally showed itself in the night sky. Quickly shuffling the Tarot deck in her hand, the witch diligently laid out the top cards of the deck in a pattern, making two line of three before her as well as placing one over it. She only had two chances, and she needed to make sure she did this right.

“Tell me about the night following the next.”

With a deep breath and a crack of her knuckles, Lillian slowly began to turn the tarot cards over.

The first card revealed the Lovers card with two skeletons facing on another and holding each other hand in hand. Balance.

The next showed the Moon in white overlaid on a dark sky surrounded by clouds. Darkness.

The final flipped to display the Chariot pulled by two horses with a powerful figure at the reins. Success.

The corner of Lillian’s mouth quirked into a smirk as she read the cards before her, all easily interpretable as an upcoming favorable full moon. Her gaze shifted on to the next row of cards separated and above the others, and her smirk fell. 

“And tell me about the angel’s fate on the same night.”

More eagerly than the first, the witch began to flip the cards.

The first one boasted the black skeleton wielding the scythe—Death. One of the more uncertain cards, Lillian was unable to determine whether it meant an ending, transformation or actual death. She could only hope that the next two would provide further clarity.

The next overturned showed the Hanged Man – an upside down skeleton suspended by one leg with both his arms outstretched like a reverse crucifixion. Sacrifice.

A smirk tugged at her lips as the death possibility looked the more possibly but when she turned over the last card, her mouth curved into an evil grin.

The Fool’s card.

The pesky angel would die a fool’s death in just two days. 

Perhaps her selkie slave deserves more credit than she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I quoted the Bible in this chapter. And then I jumped right to divination. If my Southern Baptist family could see me now...
> 
> Also, feel free to check me out on [tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aspirinforest)


	32. Chapter 32

“Where were you last night?”

Kara froze mid-step as she walked behind her adoptive mother as she made her way towards the house. Eliza had spent her day tending to her tree turned husband and daughter by applying herbs and salves to the base of the trunk and the soil around them. She stayed home while Kara went to the market with a cartful of deliveries and a hollow heart. As much as Kara wanted to stay, she couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt that clung to her with each glance at the two red cedars in the front lawn she called family. It was best for everyone if Kara just stayed busy and acted as if nothing was different. After all, wasn’t consistency good in complicated times?

Kara had simply just forgotten home complicated her consistent life was.

“I heard you leaving last night,” Eliza continued, her eyes darting to the side to catch Kara but still not turning her head.

“I was just, um.” Kara bit her lip as she talked. “Checking on Comet in the stables.”

“And that took three hours?”

To that, Kara lacked a response and the next several minutes were filled with a tense silence. Cocking her head back, Eliza let out a small sigh as she leaned back on the ground where she sat with her legs crossed. The way her eyes squinted against the sun resembled Alex so closely that it sent a jolt through Kara’s chest.

“I also found the book underneath your bed,” Eliza continued. “As well as that jar of rank salve next to a pile of bandages.” Eliza turned her head to meet her adoptive daughter, but instead of the anger Kara anticipated, there was only compassion. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

A lump formed in Kara’s throat as she felt the quaking hollowness fill her once more, but rather than running like her legs so desperately wanted, Kara forced a swallow down her dry throat and sat down in the grass next to her mother. She hadn’t expected that action would make her crack or that her adoptive mother slipping her arm around her shoulder would trigger the sobs Kara didn’t know were there.

“It’s okay, cottonwood,” Eliza murmured into Kara’s hair as she pulled her closer. “I’m here. Just let it out.”

And Kara did. Then she told her everything.

\---

“So, I told Eliza.”

Lena turned and looked at Kara, her eyes wide and hand tightening around Kara’s as they stood on the edge of the dock in their usual place but without the snacks or Shakespeare between them.

“Told her what exactly?” Lena asked.

“Everything,” Kara sighed. “Your song, my scars, my past life, us.” Kara closed her eyes and shook her head. “I didn’t even realize how much there was to tell.”

Lena’s thumb grazed over Kara’s knuckles. “How did she take it?”

“Surprisingly well actually.” Kara frowned. “Really, it just made me feel more guilty for not opening up to her sooner.”

“I’m sure she understood,” Lena brushed a blonde lock from Kara’s face, attempting to smooth away the stress there.

“I thought she’d be mad,” Kara said in a hoarse whisper. She wiped the back of her hand against the back of her nose as she sniffled slightly. “But she said she was proud of me. That she knew how hard this had been for me and that I’ve handled it better than she ever could.”

“You have been through a lot, Kara,” Lena rubbed thumb along Kara’s jawline, urging her to meet her gaze. “You’re carrying a burden that not many others could. You’re strong, farm girl. Stronger than anyone I know. And I’m very proud of you too.”

Kara ducked her head as a light blush colored her cheeks but she pushed it down the best she could. Gingerly, she took Lena’s hand in hers, savoring the cool touch in her heated skin, and finally met the gaze Lena had been pleading with.

“I’m proud of you too,” Kara said with a small smile tugging her lips. 

Rather than feeling the butterflies she had anticipated, Lena only felt a pang of dread. Her green eyes darted to the side and noticed the nearly full moon shining through the trees above. With horror, Lena realized that this was their final night and her insides twisted so tight that it wrung out whatever love and affection that had been there moments before. Guilt and anxiety flooded to take the now vacant space, and Lena wondered if it was the shame or waves rocking the dock so hard. Biting hard on the inside of her cheek to ground her, Lena decided to finally force out what she had been sworn to keep.

“Kara,” Lena started slowly. “I need to tell you something.”

Kara’s brow furrowed, instantly noticing how Lena was slowly drifting away. “What?”

“It’s about me.” Lena took a deep breath as she took another step further away, her voice noticeably weaker. “And Lillian.”

“Yeah?” Kara took a step forward but Lena only scurried back two more.

“She…” Lena opened her mouth but nothing came out. “I didn’t want to but she…” Once again Lena’s voice failed her. Gritting her teeth now, Lena tried again. “I didn’t have a choice and I had to…” Her foot stamped in frustration as muteness fell upon her again. “She… she did this to me!”

“Lena, it’s okay,” Kara tried to calm her by holding up her hands but it proved unsuccessful. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“But I do,” Lena’s voice became small. “I just… I just….” With an added effort and strain, Lena was able to squeak out a sound that sounded vaguely similar to ‘ _can’t._ ’ 

“It’s okay,” Kara assured her again. “Just take your time. It doesn’t have to be tonight if you’re not ready.”

But it had to be tonight. Lena gritted her teeth at the ground as her nostrils flared slightly before she turned around with a huff. In the silence, Kara could hear Lena’s jaw moving, but she heard no words. Slowly, the arms crossed around Lena’s chest drifted so they were curled around her waist. With a broken sigh, Kara barely heard Lena’s voice over the sounds of the wind and the waves around them.

“I need to tell you how I lost my skin.”

Kara’s heart dropped in her chest. From the little tidbits Lena had told her about her selkie life on land, Kara wondered if Lena was ready for this. She hadn’t even heard Lena ever utter the Luthor’s name without a grimace on her face as if the words tasted like poison.

“Lena…” Kara started, but Lena cut her off with weak but determined words.

“Several years ago, I left my family to figure out some things for myself,” Lena forced out a broken laugh, “but I guess you already knew that.” After a pause and a deep breath, Lena continued. “I hadn’t intended to be away for long. Just a few months. Maybe year. I just wanted to see the world and discover who I was. But…” the selkie closed her eyes and hung her head, “fate had other plans.

“I liked to come on the shores at night. Most selkies do. Typically to sing and dance under the moon, but I always liked walking. The sand and rocks always fascinated me when they were dry, especially how the sand would stick to my feet and legs when they were wet. But ironically, books were my downfall. They were the ones that led to my prison here, but they’re now the only thing that provides me an escape.

“Books are hard to come by underwater. Unless enhanced, the pages just become wavy and clump together when wet. Most sea creatures just decide to ignore them, but I couldn’t quite part with them like so many others. Still, few sea witches bother with that sort of enchantment and I came to realize that on land, I could read whatever I wanted. The other selkies would sing and dance on the beach while I read on the harbor. They’d look out for me, but we were never caught. A part of me foolishly came to believe that we couldn’t get caught. That the old tales of sailors stealing our skins and trapping us on shore were just that: tales.” Lena’s hands curled into fists, her nails digging into her palms. “I should have known better.

“I didn’t realize how lonely I’d be on my own. I know that sounds idiotic, but I don’t think I truly understood loneliness until I was on my own. But the books helped. While I was in those pages, the loneliness faded. So much so that I started taking risks. When I saw a barn or a home along the shore, I’d wait until the early morning hours of darkness to sneak in and see what books I could find, and I found so many: Shakespeare, Homer, Arthurian legend. I loved it all so much. And I never even came close to being caught. My risks grew greater and greater until one day, I came across a small house on the edge of the sea.”

Lena’s head bowed deep in front of her as she took a shaky breath, her hold around her waist tensing. Kara took a tentative step forward, hesitant of Lena pulling from away from her again. In that moment, there was nothing Kara wanted to do more than just wrap her girlfriend tight in her arms and let her go. But she held back. After all, it was her failure to protect and fall into sin that led Lena’s loss of her skin. It was her fault.

“I hid my skin on the shore like I always did before I approached the house,” Lena continued, her voice becoming more and more strained. “No one ever seems to lock their windows so those are always the easiest way into most homes. But I was careless this time. I saw the large bookcase of books and instantly became distracted and failed to check my surroundings. It wasn’t until I had tucked a leather-bound classic underneath my arm and turned around that I noticed an old woman standing in the room with me.

“I was so scared but she assured me that it would be okay. She just looked so old and harmless. She was simply an old widow with a fat nose. She told me I could read whatever book I wanted and that I didn’t even have to return them even though I swore I would. Turns out, she had read them all before and she seemed so excited to haves someone to talk about them with. The old woman even offered me food and offered me a place to sleep. For a little while there, I thought I had found a friend. Maybe even a mentor. Looking back, I hate how blind I was to her cocky chin or bored eyes. She seemed so proud of me… I guess I just didn’t realize how weak and vulnerable I was, but she knew. She knew exactly what I was the moment she first saw me as I should have her, but she fooled me.”

“Lena…” Kara gently placed her hand on Lena’s shoulder and thankfully, Lena didn’t twist away, but she didn’t lean in like normal either. Instead, she remained rigid as she glared at the waves before her.

“I grew even more careless.” Lena’s nostrils twitched. “I told her who I was and I even showed her my skin. I revealed myself to her and she responded in kind but in the worst way. As soon as she saw her chance, her poor old widow disguise dropped to expose the hideous Luthor witch she was. The bitch took my skin, and I’ve been bound to Lillian ever since.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kara whispered as she watched the single tear run down Lena’s cheek as her whole body tensed impossibly more. “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.”

“No, you can’t,” Lena snapped, her head jerking to the side to lock those green eyes brimming with darkness and tears with the fallen angel’s blue. “She’s a _rat_ , Kara.” Lena forced through gritted. “She’s toxic. _Poisonous_.”

“I know,” Kara said slowly as she took a small step back from Lena’s intensity. 

“No, you don’t.” Lena’s voice became desperate and her eyes became more wild as she moved towards Kara, closing the recent gap. “She’s much more than anyone or the rumors give her credit for. She still dons those disguises quite often. It’s how she gets around town. You’ve probably seen her and not even recognized her for the _regular rat she is_.”

“Lena, Lena.” Kara tenderly gripped Lena’s biceps as she tried to calm her down. “It’s okay. Just take a deep breath.”

“No, Kara. Lillian…” Lena’s voice cut off with a quiet squeak. “You… I…” But again and again, her words failed her. And with each failed attempt, the more distraught Lena became. Soon Kara’s hold on her wasn’t to calm her but to hold her up. Finally, with a whimper, she managed, “I’m sorry, Kara. I’m so sorry.”

“Come here.” Kara quickly pulled the willing Lena into her arms, tucking her chin on top of the raven hair and rubbing soothing circles on her back. “You have nothing to apologize for. You did nothing wrong.”

Lena’s only response was her sniffling and tightening her grip on the front on Kara’s shirt. Her body trembled, but Kara wasn’t sure if it was from the wind or sobs so she just held Lena tighter in her arms. Once they slowly came to a stop, Kara pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the selkie’s black hair as she rubbed her back.

“Kara,” Lena said in a whisper so hoarse that Kara almost didn’t hear her. “I love you.”

For a split moment, Kara stiffening, her comforting hand coming to a stop. Her heart skipped a beat as her mind went into overdrive upon hearing those words she had craved so much finally fall from those sweet salt water lips.

“I love you too.”

The selkie pulled her head back enough so she could see Kara’s face and know that without a doubt, she meant it. Then her fingers cupped the back of the fallen angel’s neck and soon they were both lost in a heated kiss.

Lena’s mood swings alone that evening had been enough to give Kara whiplash, but when Lena’s lips were hers and her hands were holding her like that, Kara struggled to think of much else in the moment. When Lena’s body curved around hers or when her tongue slipped into her mouth, she didn’t think of anything else but holding her closer. But when Lena’s hands reached to untie her own cloak and pull off her shirt, it finally registered through the fog in Kara’s mind.

“What are you doing?” Kara gasped, breaking herself off from the kiss, but Lena barely seemed to notice as her mouth dropped to Kara’s neck.

“I want to be with you,” Lena mumbled before sucking on the spot where Kara’s neck met her jaw.

“I don’t think we’re ready for this,” Kara said in a wavering voice, doing her best to hold back a pleasant sigh.

“Let me give this to you. Let me show you how much I love you,” Lena insisted, knowing her words would fail her but she still kept her mouth busy at Kara’s neck as her hands moved to touch the hot skin of Kara’s waist under the hem of her shirt.  
Yet, Kara suddenly stopped her by wrapping her hands around Lena’s cool wrists. 

“I just don’t think you’re in the right mind set,” Kara replied, her voice firmer. “You just relived a trauma. This isn’t what you need right now.”

“But I owe this to you,” Lena insisted with muffled words as she still buried her face into Kara’s neck. 

“Lena,” Kara slowly pulled herself away so she could look Lena in the eye. “You don’t owe me anything.” 

“But you don’t understand,” Lena murmured, her wet cheeks glistening in the moonlight. “This night can never end.”

“But it will,” Kara assured her as she wiped the water away from Lena’s face with her thumb. “And so will the pain. After all, joy comes in the morning, right? And we still have plenty of mornings and nights left.”

Knowing her voice would fail her again, Lena threw herself at Kara, wrapping her arms around the fallen angel as tight as she could, vowing to never let go the only piece of heaven she had in this hell for one more night.

\---

The basement was dark, dank, and smell of earth and piss, but after a day, Mon had grown use to the horrid smell assaulting his nose. However, the shackles around his wrists much more difficult to get used to. As the hours waned on, the deeper the rusted metal cut into his skin, turning his wrists red and raw. With every movement, the wounds stung and he hissed in pain. The only thing that ever distracted him from it was the gnawing hunger in his gut and the rough thirst of his throat. To pass the time, he’d collect his salvia in his mouth and swallow it, hoping it would relieve his dry mouth like a cool drink of water, but it never did and only ever tasted like his spit. When that failed him, he’d watch the shadows creeping in from the small window up by the ceiling.

If he laid down, Mon was just low enough to the ground to watch the moon lurk in the night sky. Its size seen a tremble through him. It wouldn’t be long now; just one more day. Already, he could feel the beast inside him pawing to get out. Without any wolfsbane, the transformation would not only be painful but unpredictable. These chains wouldn’t hold him for long. 

But that wasn’t the thought that sickened him most.

No, it was that he knew Lillian would know that. It was that he knew she had other plans for him.

After all, only a fool would kidnap the werewolf son of the alpha the day before the full moon.

“Dreaming of chasing cats, mongrel?” 

Mon’s neck whipped away from the window towards the source of the voice. He barely daunting figure lurking in the darkness off to the side.

“Lex,” Mon said, relaxing his stance and tone as he pulled himself up. “Didn’t see you there. Thankfully that bald head of yours really gleams off the moonlight really well. How do you get it so smooth like that? Does your mom help you wax it?”

The warlock scoffed as he walked forward into the light so Mon could make out the evil smirk on his face when he threw down a plate of food at Mon’s feet. Mon’s stomach instantly growled loudly, betraying his carefree façade which only made Lex smirk wider.

“Don’t worry, pup,” Lex grinned. “This time tomorrow, hunger will be the least of your concerns.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all see that blood moon? Crazy times.
> 
> And hit me up on [tumblr ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aspirinforest)


	33. Chapter 33

“I’ll be out in a minute!” 

Hearing Winn’s voice only triggered Kara to run back through the front door, but she knew the tinkling bell would betray her actions once again. Still, she hesitated slightly. She hadn’t seen Winn since that night she broke in and tore the place apart before having a complete meltdown. If she had it her way, she would have stayed hidden, never showing her face again. But this was Winn. Her friend she only had a limited time with now, and while her intense mood swings had already damaged their relationship, she still wanted to spend time with him. Not to mention, he could potentially help Alex and Jeremiah. 

She scanned the aisle, relieved to see that most of the damage she had caused had been repaired. However, several of the heavier objects still remained overturned and on the floor rather than on the shelf. When she came across a fallen stone pedestal, a distant memory surfaced of her knocking it over in her haste to the find the book, and she was instantly filled with regret. Bending down, she gripped the cool surface in a firm hold and attempted to summon the strength that used to come to her so easily, but now laid buried beneath layers of darkness.

“You don’t have to do that.”

Jumping slightly in surprise, Kara almost lost her grip on the pedestal but she still remained taunt as she turned to look at the concerned Winn now standing beside her.

“It’s fine,” Kara assured him. “I got it.”

And she did. While it may have been slightly more difficult to summon some of the strength that once came easily and now made her scars on her back burn, the act was still much easier than when she had tried to heal her sister. At least with this, she didn’t have to worry about making it any worse. 

“Are you sure you should be doing things like that?” Winn asked, carefully.

“Things like what?” Kara wiped her sweaty heads on the fringe of her cloak. “Clean up my own mess?”

“No,” Winn hesitated, his eyes darting around slightly. “Using your angel powers.”

“It was just a little heavy lifting,” Kara assured him, doing her best to ignore the sting of her shoulder blades. 

“But, I mean,” Winn looked down at the floor while he rubbed his neck. “Don’t you think it’d probably for the best if you didn’t use them at all? I mean, for all we know, it could accelerate… you know.”

“Me turning into a demon?” Kara said with more bite than she intended.

Winn winched and, for a brief moment, Kara hated him for it. She was the one who was damned not him. But he still had the audacity to be offended.

“Look, I was just trying to do you a favor.” Kara’s nostrils flared. “But my mistake.”

“I’m just trying to help…”

“And so was I!” Kara snapped. “Should I knock it back over for you? Maybe this time I’ll break it in two that way it’ll be easier for you pick up the pieces.”

“Kara,” Winn whispered with pleading eyes. “Listen to yourself.”

“What are you talking about…” Kara’s eyes widened as she realized that the dark layer within her that she thought she had pushed aside had actually enveloped her. 

Taking a deep breath and slumping forward, Kara fell back into the breathing exercises Eliza had taught her all those years before. In through her nose and out through her mouth. And slowly, she peeled away until she was back to her old self. 

Maybe Winn was right. Her trying to help only made things worse.

“I’m sorry,” Kara gasped into the floor as she braced her hands on her knees. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Kara,” Winn said with a tight smile. “I know this must be hard for you.”

“But it doesn’t give me an excuse to treat you like that.” Kara shook her head. “You deserve better than that. Especially after all you’ve done for me. I owe that to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Winn said, his knees popping as he squatted down so he could look the fallen angel in the eye. “We’re friends. We look out for each other because we care. And I’m not going to throw that away because for something as small as that.”

“You’re too good to me, Winn,” Kara told him, cracking a small smile. 

“Well, you are my favorite blueberry supplier so I have to cut you some slack.” Winn gave a cheeky grin and a wink.

“Seriously though,” Kara reached for Winn’s arm, “thank you. I really do mean that. And if I’m not able to say it again, you really do mean a lot to me, Winn. I could never have asked for a better friend.”

“Hey,” the cheekiness in Winn’s smile fell into something more serious and sincere. “You’re not going anywhere yet. We still have time.”

“But we don’t know how much.” Kara gulped. “It’s already been three years. I’m on borrowed time already.”

“You know, that’s one thing I don’t understand,” Winn said, groaning slightly as his popping joints protested as he stood up. “You’ve been here for years and you’ve never shown any signs of turning dark before now.”

“Well, I didn’t use my powers a lot,” Kara said as she straightened up.

“Oh please,” Winn scoffed as he circled around to his counter. “You’ve been using your strength to throw around vegetable crates for the Danvers for years. Not to mention, you’ve been healing small cuts of mine and Alex’s since forever.”

“But nothing major, though,” Kara said as she sat down on the stool opposite of Winn.

“I think it has something to do with that song you started hearing,” Winn said, busying himself in the book in front of him he flipped through.

“Lena?” Kara asked as she frowned in disbelief.

Winn froze in his page flipping. Slowly, he looked up, arching an eyebrow. 

“So, it was her, then?” Winn asked, the side of his mouth curved up into a grin. “Well, then that explains a lot.”

“I, uh,” a fierce blush over took Kara’s cheeks as she looked down at her fidgeting hands on her lap. 

“Of course, it makes sense with her being a selkie and all.”

Kara’s head snapped up and her jaw dropped. “How…”

“Oh, please Kara,” Winn said with a slight roll of his eyes. “You’re not exactly good at keeping a secret. Not to mention you asked about selkies barely a week before Lena just happened to come by with the incredibly rare selkie tears. That, and I saw the scars on the inside of her fingers.”

“Oh…” Kara wanted to say more but all she could manage was a redder blush to her cheeks and the hanging of her head. 

“That being said,” Winn continued. “I still think she has something to do with this.”

“Just because she lives with the Luthor doesn’t mean she’s one of them,” Kara sighed, too stunned to be her usual enraged self she is when people talked about her girlfriend like that.

“That has nothing to do with it. Although I still think you should be a little more cautious. But you’re different, Kara. She’s woken up something inside you that’s always been there.” Kara gave Winn a confused frown so Winn attempted to elaborate. “I’m not saying you were majorly depressed or anything before, but you just seemed, I don’t know, stagnant? Like you were just going through the motions, trying to be something you’re not and hating yourself when you never could be. But about a month ago, you just started to seem actually… happy. The perk in your step and your smile wasn’t fake or forced. It was like you were finally feeling as if you belonged.”

“But I love the Danvers,” Kara argued. “I always have.”

“Yes, but you also spend so much of your time trying to be a dryad even though you’re not. You were just never comfortable with yourself and always focused on everything you’re not rather what you are.”

Kara forced down a swallow in her dry throat. As much as she hated to admit it, Winn was right. She loved the Danvers dearly, but it had never been enough for her, and she absolutely hated herself for it. But when she was with Lena, everything just felt better and more whole. She felt more whole. When Lena was in her arms, Kara didn’t feel her scars. Instead, she felt her wings.

“So, you’re saying my relationship with Lena is what’s corrupted me?” Kara asked in a slow whisper. 

“I’m saying that there was nothing to corrupt before,” Winn explained. “You were numb and she brought you back to life.”

Closing her eyes and laying her head in her hands, Kara let out a heavy sigh. Of course, the one good thing in her life would lead to her downfall. It was just one more reason why this earth was her hell. 

“I’m not going to stop seeing her,” Kara said firmly.

“I never said you had to,” Winn shrugged. “At this point, I think you need her as much as she needs you. I just want you to be careful, Kara, that’s all.”

“Winn…” Kara said slowly as her gaze slowly locked the witch across from him. “You know I still need you, right? Our relationship may not be romantic, but I still cherish and value you. I don’t think I could made it this far without you. You’ve always been there when I needed you most.”

And he had. When winter came and her family turned to trees, she always still had Winn who made her feel safe and warm on those cold snowy days. When Kara came over, regardless if it was a good or bad day, Winn was always ready to provide a snack and a joke that would only make Kara’s day better. He had introduced her to butter and fried chicken and cookies. He always provided support and lacked a judgmental bone in his body. He really was a better friend than Kara could ever ask for.

“That’s what friends are for,” Winn smiled. “And it’s not often I find someone who tolerates me as well as you do.”

Kara couldn’t help but laugh. “What even is there to tolerate?”

“You forget that I gave your sister’s boils remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” Kara laughed harder, until the memory of her sister at her current state starkly sobered her.

“How is she?” Winn asked softly. 

“There hasn’t been much of a change,” Kara shrugged helplessly. “It looks like the yellow needles are fading but that could mean she’s either getting better or worse.  
Otherwise, we don’t know. Eliza can’t communicate with either of them which definitely isn’t a good sign.”

“Do you know what they’re sick with? I might be able to whip up a salve or medicine of some sort.”

“We don’t have a clue. They were both fine and then they just weren’t. Alex was fine and then she just collapsed seconds later.”

Winn frowned. “And she wasn’t show any symptoms prior?” 

“No.” Kara fisted her hands in her blonde hair. “She was upset about Jeremiah but she was moving around like normal and she looked just fine. She even ran home to tell me about Jeremiah prior so I know she was healthy before that.”

“Huh,” Winn scratched his chin. “What were her symptoms again?”

“She was feverish and limp and barely breathing,” Kara closed her eyes at the painful memory, unable to continue.

Winn shifted the weight on his feet, carefully pondering through a tense silence before he spoke.

“What if it wasn’t a sickness?” Winn suggested. “I mean, if it was that fast acting, it could have been poison.”

“Poison?” Kara’s brow wrinkled. “Who would want to poison Alex?”

Winn shrugged. “Maybe she just ate or drank something bad.”

“But then why didn’t me or Eliza get sick?” Kara’s frown deepened as she thought.

“Maybe magic interfered?” Winn shrugged as he cocked his head back and thought. “With this full moon tonight, there’s supposed to be some serious magic in the air. Maybe that had some sort of influence.”

Kara chewed her lip and her hold tightened on her hair as she struggled to consider what Winn was suggesting. The Danvers didn’t have any enemies. They were dryads who made a modest living as farmers. They made deals with people when they couldn’t pay for their foods and Eliza personally made sure that no one she knew went hungry. As grumpy as Jeremiah and Alex could get, she doubted that they had ever intentionally said a foul thing to anyone. No one had a viable reason for wanting to hurt them.

But then it hit her.

“What did you just say?” Kara asked, her tense hold on her hair loosening.

“The full moon tonight.” Winn said as he flipped open the book to the astronomy charts. “Saturn, Mars, Mercury, and Pluto are all lining up on the night of a blue moon. Not only is that super rare, it’s also super powerful and effects so much more than you think. Tides will be stronger, werewolf transformation will be more intense, and so on.”

“Why haven’t I heard more about this?” Kara asked, looking over Winn’s chart.

“Because it doesn’t really effect you,” Winn shrugged. “And I mentioned it a few weeks ago when I first gave you the salve. Actually,” Winn flipped the charts back over to him and studied the charts. “It might even effect the dryads a little bit since harvests are so directly tied to the moon. I don’t think it’ll be anything major; just like more of an enhanced connection with their environment. Maybe Eliza will finally get to talk with Alex and Jeremiah.”

“Okay…” Kara chewed her lip as she thought while her leg jostled on the stool. “If one were to, let’s say, cast a spell, how would that effect it?”

“Oh, it would definitely enhance it,” Winn replied. “If that memory spell didn’t work on you, I initially planned on retrying it tonight with the full moon. Especially with the selkie tears ingredient.”

Kara’s stomach dropped. “Why?”

“The same magic that effects the tides effect the selkies. The moon enhances that magic. Typically, any spell or potion that involves something from a selkie is only done on the night of the full moon. The same principle applies to mermaids, wendigoes, werewolves…”

“The missing werewolves,” Kara gasped as her eyes widened in realization.

“What?”

“Werewolves have gone missing each month,” Kara explained as her words and mind began to race. “And Lena’s palm was cut at the beginning of the month. And Alex was sick around last full moon.”

“Kara, what are you talking about?” Winn demanded, cutting off Kara’s frantic rambling.

“Don’t you see?” Kara exclaimed. “Lillian’s using the power the of the full moon in her spells.”

“For what?” Winn asked. “It’s not like anything’s changed.”

“I don’t know.” Kara’s leg bounced faster as she gripped her hair tighter. “Well, there was that storm last month.”

“So, you’re saying that Lillian’s gone to all this trouble to enslave a selkie, kidnap werewolves, and poison dryads all to create storms?” Winn arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

“Well, maybe she failed what she was trying to do.” The scars on Kara’s back burned and she couldn’t help but as interpret that as she was right. 

“Kara, I think you need to take a deep breath,” Winn insisted. “You’ve had a rough couple of days. You just need to calm down.”

But Kara ignored him as she zoned out into her thoughts.

“Why didn’t Lena tell me?” Kara whispered, her mind reeling over their last conversation.

“If Lena’s enslaved by Lillian, she’s bound by whatever Lillian commands of her,” Winn explained. “That’s one of the main reasons sailors are so found of enslaving selkies as their wives.”

“No.” Kara snarled while clenching her eyes shut, doing her best to take deep breaths and fight off the gnawing sensation in her gut smash the stool she was sitting on as a wave over anger overcame her.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Winn attempted to calm her. “Just deep breaths, okay? Here, let me get you some water.”

By the time Winn had set the cool glass of water in front of her, Kara’s breathing had calmed her down enough to be confident that she wouldn’t inadvertently crush anything around her.

“Okay,” Kara took another deep breath. “If Alex and Jeremiah were poisoned, do you think you could make anything to help them?”

“Probably,” Winn pursed his lips. “It would help if I knew what she poisoned them with. I have a knack for when it comes to making poisons, but my antidotes skills are subpar.” 

“You make poison?” Kara frowned as she reached for the water in front of her.

“I run an apothecary shop,” Winn gestured around them. “Of course, I make poisons. Mostly pesticides, though, so they’re a bit weaker than normal, but still effective. There’s a reason I have repeat buyers on my rat poison, you know.”

“Rat poison…” Kara’s scars flared on her back and her brain pulsed as she desperately tried to recall whatever it was she was missing.

Then it hit her. 

“Oh shit,” Kara gasped, leaping to her feet.

“What?” Winn’s eyes became wide in alarm.

“Lena said she still wore disguises,” Kara mumbled as her feet started to pace while her knuckles rubbed against her skull as she fisted her hair. “That’s how she gets around town. That I’ve probably seen her before. And she appeared as an old lady to her and no one expect her...” Then she came to a sudden halt. “Oh my gosh.”

“Kara, what are you talking about?” Winn asked, circling the counter.

“Lena called her a rat last night,” Kara whispered, her body complete frozen but eyes wide. “When we were in the woods and we saw her leave here, Lena got so tense. It was her. It’s always been her.”

“Kara,” Winn groaned, purposely putting his face directly in front of Kara’s glazed over eyes and waving his hands. “Can you just tell me?”

“The old lady who buys rat poison from you is Lillian,” Kara whispered.

Winn’s face fell as his eyes widened to match Kara’s and he took a step back.

“Wait, are you serious?” Winn asked. 

Kara’s eyes fell to the cup of water in her hand.

“The poison was in the tea,” Kara whispered.

Just then, she stumbled forward as her body jerked when a flare of pain knifed through her with a loud gasp. The glass of water in her hand shattered on the wooden floor as Kara braced herself on the heavy pedestal she just righted. Beside her, Winn rushed forward, but she barely noticed him. No, her gaze was locked on the view out the window.

Above the tree line, a pillar of dark smoke rose into the air. 

Her stomach curled as she realized it was in the exact direction and distance as the Danvers’ farm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but every time Winn's in a chapter, he makes it so much longer than I think it'll be. So anyway, this chapter had to be split in two. Hopefully, I'll be out with the next one soon.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading! Your comments always make my day and you're all so sweet and kind and I don't know what I did to have such incredible people reading this.
> 
> [If you want to hit me up on tumblr ](https://aspirinforest.tumblr.com)


	34. Chapter 34

Never before had Kara hated her lack of wings like she did then. While Comet may have been pounding his hooves against the ground in a fierce gallop, it still wasn’t fast enough for Kara. She could feel his quick breathing and pulse from exertion by her current hold on him, but her heels still dug into his sides, praying and urging him forward. He could have as many treats as he wanted and never have to carry a rider again for all Kara cared. She just had to get home.   
She had to get home before all she loved was turned to ash.

The closer they came, the more smoke filtered through the air. When Comet’s pace slowed as the horse struggled for breath, Kara threw herself off, stumbling when she hit the ground, but she was up and running like a shot. A gray haze may now hung over the forest, but Kara didn’t need to see to find her way in the only place she called home. Her lungs burned in protest and her scars flared in warning, but Kara barely noticed aside from the coughing and the way her shirt clung to her back as she moved. She heard the cracklings of burning wood around her and the frightened squeals of fleeing critters around her, but still, she preserved towards the intense heat and heavy smoke source before her. 

Finally, she saw a familiar figure coming towards her in the haze.

“Kara?” Eliza gasped as she stumbled towards her.

“Mom?” Kara croaked, barely catching her mother in time before she fell.

“We have to get out of here,” Eliza insisted in a scratchy voice, feebly attempting to push her adoptive daughter away from the blaze.

“But Alex and Jeremiah,” Kara protested, sliding out of her mother’s grip to resume her trek to the inferno. “We have to save them!”

“I tried.” Eliza clung to the sleeve of her daughter’s cloak. “They just… couldn’t understand me.” At first, Kara wasn’t sure if Eliza had choked on the smoke or a sob, but tears running through the soot on her cheeks clarified it quickly. “Please, Kara. We have to go.”

“But I can’t just leave them!” Kara attempted to twist out of Eliza’s grip, but her mother surprised her with a grip strength like a vine. 

“Kara, no. It’s not safe!”

“I have to save them!”

“And I can’t lose another daughter!”

A pang of sorrow twisted through Kara’s stomach and she lost all will to fight her mother. Without any resistance from her daughter now, Eliza pulled Kara along with her through the fire, cringing and stumbling along the way so much so that Kara had to hold her up for balance.

“I’m sorry,” Eliza panted in shallow breaths as she shook her head. “It’s just the trees… I can hear their pain… their screams.”

“It’s okay,” Kara told her as she slung Eliza’s arm over her shoulders. “I’ve got you.”

She helped carry her mother the rest of the way, gritting her teeth in pain every time Eliza stumbled and put pressure on Kara’s bleeding scars, but Kara never said a word or made a noise of complaint. This may have been both their hells, but Kara was determined to get her mother out of it, even if that meant extra suffering on her end.  
Gradually, the smoke thinned and the air cooled as they made their way further away from their home. Soon, each could breathe without the smoke burning their throat and lungs. When they came across a river bank, Kara couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as she doubted her legs had the strength to hold up her own body, let alone both of them. After carefully setting Eliza down on one of the large rocks by the streams, Kara knelt down to splash her face and gulp down water for her parched throat. For a short moment, it felt as if a weight was being lifted off her shoulders and she found finally breath for the first time in years. Once she finally caught her breath and throat was soothed, she realized Eliza was beside her doing the same thing. They both then sat in silence for several seconds with nothing but their ragged breath being exchanged between them.

“There’s Comet,” Eliza said with a nod of her head.

Kara spun around to her beloved white horse trotting up them. Her heart swelled and she jumped up and hugged his neck, hoping it served as some sort of apology for her previous frantic actions. Thankfully by the way his head nuzzled against her, he seemed to have forgiven her.

“You’ve always been his favorite, you know,” Eliza said as she leaned back against the large rocks. “Even before you started sneaking him all those extra snacks.”

“You knew about that?” Kara asked, her face turning slightly pink. 

“I know a lot more than you give me credit for.” Eliza gave a weak smile. “I am your mother after all.”

For a moment, Kara was filled with such a pleasant warmth that she thought she may have inhaled too much of the fire. But it all came crashing down as soon as she remembered the true destruction that the fire had caused, especially to her heart.

“Alex…” Kara whispered as she slowly turned away from the loving embrace of her horse towards the forest that still spilled smoke into the air.

After all these years of Alex protecting her, Kara failed to protect her sister when she needed her most.

“It just came out of nowhere,” Eliza whispered, her voice shaken and broken. “I tried to save them, but they… they just couldn’t understand me or anything. I don’t understand how. Even the cedars and pines around us were screaming at them but… it was like they were in a deep sleep or something. I couldn’t get through to them. I wanted to stay with them, but the smoke and heat forced me away. I’m… I’m sorry, Kara. I couldn’t save them.”

Unable to go on, Eliza covered her face with her hand and hung her face as she undoubtedly attempted to fight off the sobs that she knew would do no go at that moment. Kara, however, found it impossible to move. Her eyes burned but she couldn’t look away from the tree line as she threw up every prayer and plea she could to the heavens she once knew above. But she knew better than to ask for her sake. No, Eliza needed them more. She deserved them more. She was the only chance that her family had. The heavens had no compassion for the heartbroken prayers of a fallen angel like herself.

But then in the tree line, through the smoke and haze, a figure appeared.

“Eliza,” Kara breathed. “Look.”

“My firs,” Eliza gasped as she slowly stood to her feet. 

Their prayers had been answered.

Her tan skin now marred with ash and her black hair now singed, Maggie trudged towards them at an even, steady pace and hard, gritted teeth. Draped over her shoulders were one pale arm over one and a cloak clad leg over her other. It took Kara a few seconds to recognize who Maggie was carrying, but as soon as the sunlight glint off their red hair, Kara’s heart jumped all the way up into her throat. Despite the sudden burst of joy, her feet still remained planted on the ground while her arms remained wrapped around Comet’s neck. However, Eliza was not currently fighting the same affliction.

“Alex!” Eliza cried as she threw herself at them both.

“I got her Mrs. Danvers,” Maggie grunted, still intent on carrying Alex all the way over to the river bank.

“I think I can walk, Maggie,” Alex protested in a weak voice that made Kara question its validity. Maggie ignored her though, not releasing her from her hold until they were right next to the running water with Eliza still close and fretting over her daughter who clung Maggie’s cloak tight over her naked and ash covered body.

“Oh, Alex, honey, you’re alright,” Eliza said between sniffling tears of relief and petting soothing hands along her daughter’s disheveled red. “You’re alright. You’re alright.”

“I’m fine, mom,” Alex croaked as if she were annoyed but did nothing to bat away her mother’s attention. 

“How are you feeling?” Kara managed to force out despite her shock.

“Like I’m a log someone threw on a bonfire,” Alex rasped, looking around herself. “Can someone get me some water?”

Eliza moved to satisfy this request, but Maggie was already steps ahead of her. 

“Here,” Maggie said softly, holding out a large oyster shell she had cleaned and filled with water as if it were a cup.

“Thanks.” Alex gave a weak smile before eagerly gulping it down. Before she could even ask for another, Maggie was already offering another water filled oyster which Alex gratefully took.

“How did you get out of tree form?” Kara asked, sitting down on the ground across from her dehydrated and exhausted sister.

“Uh… sorry,” Alex made a face as she rubbed her temple. “It’s all still kind of hazy. Maggie just kind of appeared from nowhere.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Eliza murmured, lovingly pushing the hair out of her daughter’s face.

“Um… I remember dad lying on the sofa,” Alex’s eyes zoned out as she lost herself in thought. “And drinking the tea…”

Guilt twisted in Kara’s stomach and soured her mouth, but she held herself firm, trying her best to look strong for her sister. 

“Everything gets fuzzy after that,” Alex continued. “I remember this bright light, but I think that was the sun. I was just stuck in this haze after that. I didn’t even feel the flames or heat.”

Absentmindedly, Alex’s fingers ghosted over to touch her forearm, flinching and sucking her teeth in loudly when she did. Maggie’s face crumpled as she watched. With more care than Kara thought possible, Maggie gingerly lifted Alex’s offending arm and revealed the nasty burn hidden on the underside of it.

“Alex…” Eliza gasped as she tightened her hold on her daughter.

“One of her limbs caught fire,” Maggie explained as she reached to scoop some of the cool water out of the river beside her in her oyster shell. “But it went out when she turned back. I didn’t realize it was still bad.”

“Injuries tend to remain constant in both forms,” Eliza explained as she stroked Alex’s head. “We’ll have to put some aloe on it as soon as we can.”

“But this will have to do for now,” Maggie said, her eyes full of sorrow as she lifted the now full oyster shell. “And I’m so sorry.”

She poured the cool water along Alex’s burn, triggering the dryad to grit her teeth and suck in her breath sharply, but she didn’t flinch. Even in the weaken state she was, Alex was not one to show pain. 

Watching her sister, Kara felt guilt way on her gut and chest as her hands twitched to reach out and tend to her sister. But she curled her hands behind her back. The last time she had tended to her sister, she had only made it worse. She could only be grateful that Alex was doing so well now and that Maggie had come to her rescue. Besides, with the way Eliza and Maggie tended to her, Alex had all she needed. It would be best for all of them if Kara just kept her distance.

“Did you…” Eliza closed her eyes as she gathered her strength. “Did you see Jeremiah?”

Alex shook her head. “He wasn’t there when I changed back.”

“Wasn’t there as in the fire had gotten to him or…?” Maggie asked.

“No, I mean his tree wasn’t there,” Alex explained. “It wasn’t beside or around me.”

“But he was there when I left,” Eliza said, her brow furrowing in confusion.

“Oh, wait,” Alex scrunched her face up as she thought. “Someone else came before Maggie. It’s hazy but I recognized his voice. He did something and I can’t remember it exactly… It was like he wanted me to obey him and turn, but he sounded angry and hateful so I refused. I don’t think dad did though. Then I heard Maggie…”

“I didn’t smell anything except dryad,” Maggie said. “But there was a lot of smoke… I may have missed something.”

“It was Hank.”

All three heads turned to look at the forgotten blonde a few feet away from them.

“What?” Eliza asked. “Why would Hank have anything to do with it?”

“He’s working with the Luthors,” Kara explained, crossing her arms in front of her in a fake façade of strength. “He’s the one who poisoned Alex and Jeremiah.”

“Hanks been our friend for years,” Eliza protested. “He would never-”

“It was in the tea, wasn’t it?” Alex interrupted.

Kara nodded.

“I knew it tasted strange,” Alex continued. “I could have sworn I noticed a hemlock aftertaste. And it was his voice, I know it.”

“But why?” Eliza asked, clearly more exasperated. “He hates the Luthors. They burned his fields and family!”

“I don’t know,” Kara replied, shrugging her shoulders. “But he’s the only one who had contact with both Jeremiah and Alex before they passed out. And it’s not like anyone has seen much of him since. That and I’m pretty sure the Luthors need something from a dryad for a spell their casting tonight.”

Maggie perked up. “What spell?”

“I don’t know with the magic from this rare full moon, it’s something big,” Kara explained. “We think that’s why the werewolves have gone missing too.”

“Wait,” Maggie’s eyes widened, “you think Mon’s been kidnapped by the Luthors?”

Kara nodded.

“Is that enough to convince your Alpha to allow a search of their property?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, about that,” Maggie groaned. “Non challenged Lar earlier today.”

“What?” Alex gasped, leaning forward but Maggie steadied her.

“Yeah, that’s actually how I was able to leave.” Maggie squeezed Alex’s shoulder. “With Lar weak from the stress and Non feeling the early power of tonight’s moon, he figured it was the perfect to pounce. He was right and Lar didn’t stand a chance. But when an Alpha’s overturned, his orders no longer stand.”

“What about Non?” Alex asked, her hand tightening over Maggie’s. “Aren’t you bound to his orders?”

“I didn’t submit,” Maggie gave a weak smile. “I’m kind of a lone wolf right now.”

“So, what does that mean?” Alex’s face scrunched up as she thought.

“It means that I’ll have to get off pack land as soon as possible because they reserve the right to terminate trespassers. And I have no protection so if Non’s bitter with me, which he probably is, he can send others from the pack to take me out. That and the change is much more difficult and dangerous without others.” Alex’s eyes had slowly been widening and becoming all the more panicked which Maggie quickly noticed. Kneeling down beside her, Maggie brushed the short red hair out of Alex’s face to cradle her cheek. “But… that means we can also be together. No law is stopping us now.”

“But I want to be with you for as long as possible,” Alex whispered with watering eyes staring into Maggie’s deep brown. “I don’t want to have worry about Non or anyone else taking you away from me.”

“Let me worry about Non,” Maggie assured her, stroking her thumb along Alex’s cheek. “You just worry about getting better.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but what about my husband?” Eliza asked. “If you’re right and the Luthors have him, what are we supposed to do?”

It was then that all head slowly turned towards Kara whose mouth suddenly went dry and scars on her back flared. For a moment, she considered throwing herself into the river and let the current take her away, submerge and hidden beneath the cool waters.

But she loved her family too much to abandoned them now. Especially so close after losing them.

“I think you three need to go to Winn’s,” Kara announced. “He’ll be able to provide food and shelter for the time being and a medicine for Alex. I’ll meet up with you all later this evening to plan further.”

“Where are you going?” Alex asked.

“To talk to Lena,” Kara explained as she pulled Comet away from the river. “If anyone has information, it’s her.”

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Eliza said slowly. “Should we really be splitting up?”

“I’m sorry, but it’s the only option right now,” Kara pulled herself up on Comet’s back and turned to Maggie. “You’ll keep them safe, right?”

“I’ll guard them with my life,” Maggie assured her and Kara knew she meant it.

“Stay safe, cottonwood, okay?” Eliza told her.

“Of course,” Kara nodded. “I’ll see you all later tonight.”

With that, she clicked in her heels into Comet’s side, and together they galloped towards the sea.

\---

Unsure of where else to go, Kara thought she’d try her luck at the docks. Besides there and Jess’s Tavern, Kara hadn’t known Lena to frequent anywhere else. Fortunately, however, as Kara crested the final hill, she made out a lone figure draped in gray standing on the end of the dock. Relief welled in her chest as Comet charged down the hill towards the shore. Once close enough, Kara flung herself on to the sandy shores and began the awkward, stumbling run towards the docks she had become so familiar with. It was so hard to believe that nearly a month ago, she had found herself in the same position running towards the same lone selkie even if it now was under much different circumstances.

“Lena!” Kara called as her feet finally hit the hard wood of the dock. 

The figure spun towards her and Kara saw Lena’s pale face flash with horror. The wind picked up then, blowing her black hair forward and her salty scent towards Kara’s eager lungs. Her feet slowed as she studied the selkie’s distraught with a frown.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Lena whispered, slowly taking a step back.

“I needed to see you.” Kara reached out but Lena just furiously shook her head.

“You have to get out of here. Now.”

“Lena, I don’t understand—”

She was cut off with a sharp blow to the back of the head and she crumpled to the ground too fast for Lena to even move to catch her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are FINALLY coming up to the chapter I've been waiting for for months. Ahhhh, I'm so pumped. Thank you all for sticking with this story for so long. Y'all are just incredible and I still can't believe how blessed I am to have readers like y'all. 
> 
> [If you want to hit me up on tumblr ](https://aspirinforest.tumblr.com)


	35. Chapter 35

“Are you sure you don’t need my help, Alex?” Eliza fretted. “These stairs can be awfully steep.”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Alex insisted as she leaned against Maggie who helped her up the steps to Winn’s apothecary. “It’s my arm that’s hurt, not my legs.”

The mile or so trek to Winn’s had put Alex in a rather sour mood especially with her sore limbs and raspy lungs. Despite spending so much time in a stagnant cedar state, the redhead had never felt more exhausted. A part of her was tempted to take root and turn on the side of the road so she could finally get some rest and even potentially start her winter hibernation early, but even if she did, the trees would keep her from getting any rest. While the ones around them weren’t screaming in agony like those back in the fire, they were still a buzz with fear and mounting anxiety. Besides, it wasn’t as if she’d get any sleep if they were silent with both her father and sister currently missing. She had hoped that since Kara had taken the horse, they would find her waiting for them at Winn’s, but here they were and there was no Comet in sight which didn’t sit right with any of them.

“It would really help if you got the door for us, Mrs. Danvers,” Maggie told her with a forced smile, knowing that all Eliza wanted to do was help.

“Yes, thank you.” Eliza quickly opened the door, sounding the tinkling bell overhead and triggering a flustered Winn to round the counter.

“You’re okay!” Winn exclaimed as he waved his arms in a dramatic over the top fashion. “With the way Kara ran out of here, I thought something seriously bad had happened… do you smell smoke? Wait, why are you all covered in ash? Oh my gosh, Alex your arm.”

“There was a fire at our farm,” Eliza explained, her eyes dropping to the floor as she did her best not to dwell on what was lost.

“And I think we all know who started it,” Maggie muttered as she adjusted her grip on her slumping girlfriend, pulling her closer in a protective grip.

“The Luthors?” Winn guessed.

“Who else?” Maggie snapped. 

“Could we set Alex down somewhere?” Eliza asked, noticing how her daughter’s face was already paling as she sank deeper towards the ground. “I think she’s about to faint.”

“Huh? Oh!” Winn exclaimed, spinning around quickly. “Here.” Winn pushed away the clutter off of a dusty fabric chair. “Will this work?”

Maggie nodded and swiftly but gently set her girlfriend down on the chair, sending up a cloud of dust from the cushion as she did. Alex groaned softly in appreciation as she drooped against the back of the seat and closed her eyes, heaving for breath. Even if the air in the shop was stale, it was better than the smoke that scratched her lungs. When Maggie knelt down to caress her fingers along Alex’s cheek, she slowly coaxed her girlfriend’s brown eyes to look into her own and earned a small loving smile that quelled a bit of the anxiety budding in Maggie’s chest as she returned the smile in kind.

“Just hang in there, sweet tree,” Maggie whispered, ignoring the two people in the room with her and doing her best to normalize the situation. “We’ll figure this out.”

“Whatever you say, love puppy,” Alex mumbled with a weak smile.

“Do you have anything to treat her, Winn?” Eliza asked softly, not wanting to interrupt the werewolf and the dryad. At first, it had bothered Eliza when Kara had told her of Maggie and her daughter’s affair since, after all, what kind of life could a werewolf and a dryad have with one another? Nature was classified as flora and fauna for a reason. Alex was only setting herself up for pain. But then she saw that werewolf carrying her daughter out of the flames and how she had carried her ever since. And how even in her weakened state, Alex was still carrying Maggie in return with small smiles and words of encouragement as Maggie nuzzled into Alex’s touch. Eliza couldn’t put her daughter in better hands. And besides, it wasn’t as if Alex had ever been very conventional to begin with.

“I’m not sure,” Winn said as he turned to one of his open books. “I know she used my rat poison but she definitely tampered with it if it had this sort of effect on dryads.”

“Maybe you should take tree form again,” Eliza suggested to her daughter, but Alex quickly shook her head.

“No.” Alex slipped her hand into Maggie as well as her attention. “I’m not leaving you like that again.”

“Babe,” Maggie sighed as she stroked her thumb along the back of Alex’s hand. “It won’t be like that. And neither of us will be going anywhere. I’ll be right there, protecting you the entire time.”

“Actually,” Winn said as he read from his book, “if it is a poison, it would be best to get it out of her system as soon as possible.”

Eliza frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean she needs to regurgitate the poison before she takes her tree form again.” Winn looked up to see on confused looks. “She needs to throw up.” More silence. “I can go grab some emetic from the back.” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Eliza told him as her eyes glazed with thought. “She already has.”

“I thought she didn’t have bodily functions when she was in tree form,” Maggie said looking up.

“It was before,” Eliza explained. “Right after she passed out. Kara tried to heal her but with the ways her powers have been acting lately, we thought she failed....”

“Wait, what do you mean Kara tried to heal her?” Maggie’s brow furrowed as she felt Alex’s hand tighten in hers, drawing her attention back to those soft dryad eyes. “Kara’s not a dryad, is she?”

“No, she’s not,” Alex answered weakly. “But she’s still my sister.”

“Kara’s an angel,” Eliza explained as she scratched her chin in thought. “A fallen one technically. But maybe not as fallen as we thought…”

When Kara had confessed to her that fallen angels all became demons, she had thought that Kara was the exception. After three years, there was no feasible way that Kara had the capacity to become anything remotely evil. Then the ordeal happened with Alex and it all became a seemingly glaring reality. But if she had actually helped Alex, maybe there was still more angel and hope for Kara than she thought.

“A fallen angel, eh?” Maggie let out a chuckle. “I guess that explains her affinity with the Luthor witch.”

“Uh, actually,” Winn cleared his throat. “While we’re on that topic of identity, I feel like I should tell you that Lena’s not exactly a witch.”

“Didn’t the Luthors enslave her?” Alex said.

“Wow, how much are you not telling me, Danvers?” Maggie asked with a soft squeeze and playful smile to show she wasn’t angry.

“They stole her selkie skin,” Winn explained before he started to hunt through his potion cabinet. 

“Wait, Lena’s a selkie?” Alex turned back to Maggie. “Okay so that I didn’t know.”

“Now you know what it’s like to be in the dark,” Maggie said in a teasing whisper.

“We think that Lillian plans to use Lena’s selkie magic for a spell tonight,” Winn continued to explain. “The same spell she plans to use the werewolf and possibly Jeremiah for.”

Maggie felt Alex tense in her hand and her heart gave a twinge as she held back a soft whimper as she knew that there was very little she could do for her girlfriend or her father. Soothing her hand over Alex’s thigh, she did her best to bring whatever comfort she could. After seeing her almost burn, Maggie’s need to protect still ran high despite her mental efforts to relax. She knew Alex liked her independence but there was nothing more in that moment that Maggie wanted more than for Alex to depend on her like she did her.

“That’s some serious magic.” Maggie added. “Especially if they’re using a purebred like Mon. That and he’s basically werewolf royalty.”

“Kara shouldn’t have gone alone,” Eliza said, her eyes drifting towards the window. “How do we know she’s not part of the spell?”

“Well, uh,” Winn’s face dropped. “Oh gosh, you don’t think Lena would…”

“Aren’t selkie’s supposed to do anything for their skin?” Eliza’s voice remained neutral but heartache resonated in her gaze.

The same pain ghosted across Alex’s face as she hung her head which sent a burst of anguish through Maggie’s chest. Barely holding back her whimper, she reached forward to cup Alex’s face. In just a few hours, the woman she loved had most likely lost two of the people she loved most in the cruelest way. And Maggie had failed to protect her. When Alex flashed her a watering gaze, a spike of determination shot through the werewolf. 

If she couldn’t be a protector, then she was going to be a fighter.

“I’m going to go Non,” Maggie announced as she stood up.

“No, you can’t!” Alex gasped as she reached for Maggie’s arm. “He’ll kill you!”

“Maybe not,” Maggie told her in a gentle voice as she placed her hand over Alex. “If I explain the situation maybe he’ll understand.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Alex demanded, her hold tightening.

“Then I’ll challenge him.”

Alex’s jaw clenched as she feebly fought back against the tears building in her quivering brown eyes. Her nostril flared as she fisted Maggie’s sleeve in her hand and tugged at it with more strength that Maggie thought possible in her current state.

“I need you to promise me that you’re coming back,” Alex’s voice broke. “Promise.”

“Hey,” Maggie knelt back down to caress Alex’s pale cheek and press a soft kiss on Alex’s forehead. “I’ll always come back to you. I promise.”

\--- 

A certain darkness had overtaken Kara. It was as if a heavy weight now pressed down upon her, pinning her down and effectively making her immobile. When she did try to move, she felt the strain of exertion but none of the movement. Something rough scraped along her back as she struggled, inflaming her already bleeding back. She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids refused to cooperate, at least until the wave of heat hit her. What started out as warm swiftly heated to stifling and in a sweaty gasp, Kara’s eyes finally snapped out.

She was in the woods—no, a clearing. The sky was dark but a large bonfire roared in front of her, assaulting the surrounding area in both heat and light. She squinted against brightness, unable to tell if those were trees or people surrounding her. Again, she tried to move and found herself unable. Looking down, she saw that there were actually chains wrapped around, securing her to the wide base of a tree and now the bark of cut into her back as she struggled. In a feeble attempt, she tried to summon the angelic strength she once freely exerted, but even when she did grasp it, she barely earned a creak from the chains. With a frustrated cry, Kara fell slump against the bindings, gritting her teeth as her scars flared dangerous hot along her shoulder blades.

“Ah, you awake just in time.”

Kara’s head snapped up, her eyes locking on the source of the feminine voice. Slowly, the figure she had previously thought was a tree drifted into focus. With a hard blink, Kara realized that the tree was actually a woman, and that woman was actually Lillian Luthor. In a sudden burst of rage, Kara jerked forward, gnashing her teeth in both hatred and frustration at her circumstances and audience. The witch was behind this. She just knew it.

“Oh my,” Lillian sighed as she turned her head to address someone beside her. “Lena, you didn’t tell me that your girlfriend had quite the temper.”

Stiffening, Kara’s focus snapped to the hooded figure with the bowed head standing close to Lillian in the gray cloak she recognized all too well. 

“Lena…” Kara breathed.

But the selkie refused to look at her.

“Now is that anyway to treat our guest?” Lillian smirked. “After all these years, I thought I taught you better than that.” 

Still, Lena’s attention remained on the ground as she crossed her arms in front of her, gripping her forearms in a death grip and cringing away from the bonfire when a gust of wind blew the flames towards her. With how the hood of her cloak was drawn up, Kara still couldn’t make out her face despite her efforts.

“Lena… why?” Kara whispered.

“Perhaps you are better actress than I give you credit for, Lena,” Lillian offered a grim smile of approval. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more heart broken face. Maybe I should be taking lessons from you.”

Lena flinched at Lillian’s words, but otherwise didn’t respond.

“Stop it,” Kara said, tensing against the chains that held her.

“And she still comes to your defense!” Lillian laughed out loud. “Darling, didn’t she tell you? Selkies aren’t capable of love.”

Lena’s frame deflated impossibly further as she curled in on herself.

“No…” Kara whispered, her eyes widening as those words hit her like a punch. “No.”

“The only thing they love is their skin,” Lillian grinned, clearly enjoying herself. “And they’ll do anything to get it back. Even if that means faking a relationship to manipulate an angel.”

The air rushed out of Kara’s lungs as if she had been punched. If it weren’t for the chains holding her up, Kara wouldn’t have been able to stand. Her mouth became dry as her back flared, but she couldn’t help but feel mostly numb.

After everything, how could Lena betray her?

“She told you?” Kara whispered.

“That’s right,” Lillian gave a cherish cat grin. “She told me everything.

“Kara, I—”

A loud smack rang through the air, snapping Kara back to attention. Lena stumbled to the side and to the ground, cradling her face, while Lillian’s held out her hand in warning.

“Silence, sea filth!” Lillian bark before jerking her head to the side. “Lex, Hank. Start the preparations.”

It wasn’t until then that Kara realized that they weren’t alone. Lena stayed on ground, careful to stay out of the way as Lex walked in from the shadow draped in a dark robe and holding a series of large bowls. The flames gleamed of his bald head and wicked grin as he turned towards the tree next to Kara.

“Your time has just about come, mutt,” he said.

Kara turned and barely held back a gasp as she realized that Mon was weakly slumped against the tree next to her, the chains holding him up as well. His greasy hair plastered across his face and with the way his cheeks hollowed, Kara wondered when was the last time he ate. His eyes were closed, but if it weren’t for his rapid, shallow breathing, Kara wouldn’t know he was alive. 

“Clearly, we use different watches,” Mon replied weakly. “Yours seems to be ahead by a few years.”

Lex only smirked wider in return as he turned and set up the preparations on the alter laid out before the fire. While the bonfire lit up the night as if it were day, Lex’s long sleeves and stance blocked most of his work from Kara’s view.

“Mon?” Kara whispered. “You okay?”

“I don’t think I’d use that word,” Mon rested his head back against the tree as he clenched his jaw. “But I don’t see myself getting any better in the new future.” His body jerked as he gritted his teeth before going slack against the tree.

“Full moon?” Kara hoped her whispered tone hid the fear in her voice.

“Yeah.” Mon took a deep, shuddering breath. “I’d kill for some wolfsbane right now.”

“I’m sorry,” Kara whispered, hating seeing her friend in such pain.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry about your girlfriend.”

It was Kara’s turn to take a deep breath in an effort to calm herself. She wished so desperately that she could be angry. Maybe even summon some of the potential demonic powers she was supposedly forming. But she needed hate and anger for that. And all Kara could feel was disbelief and sorrow. As much as she wanted to deny it, her current circumstances proved otherwise. She was powerless and she wished more than anything that she didn’t have to think about it. 

But then her circumstances grew all the more difficult to ignore.

“Dad!”

Behind Lex as he set up the alter, Hank, the man she had called neighbor for years, dragged forward a limping and weak dryad that had spent the past three years acting as the only father Kara ever knew. 

“Wonderful!” Lillian clapped her hands. “It looks as if everything is in order.”

“How could you?” Kara demanded Hank as she pulled against the chains as tears gathered in her eyes. “We trusted you!”

“Not all of us dryads should be trusted.” Hank replied as he jerked the rope around Jeremiah’s hand extra hard, causing him to stumble. “Everyone expects dryads to be peaceful and compliant as farmers. But I needed more. The Luthors understood that.”

“But your family,” Kara protested. “What about Megan?”

“Small price to pay for the power I gained,” Hank gave a smile that chilled Kara to the bone. 

“Speaking of power,” Lillian reached into her cloak for a bundle of sage. “Let’s begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it turns out I'm horrible at making outlines. I tried to cramp too much in one chapter so I just broke it up into two. The next one should be coming out soon! Thank you again for your patience and reading!
> 
> [If you want to hit me up on tumblr ](https://aspirinforest.tumblr.com)


	36. Chapter 36

“I suppose we should start with the fauna,” Lillian announced turning to her son. “Shall you do the honors?”

Lex gave a grim smirk as he reached for the pliers off the alter, clenching them closed experimentally all while locking eyes with the currently chained-up Mon.

“With pleasure,” he replied, a dark glee in his eyes as he approached the tree next to Kara.

Beside her, Kara heard Mon swallow while he attempted to stand up a little straighter and not let his fear show, but he failed to hide his trembling lips. In that moment, there was nothing Kara wanted more than to reach out and give his hand a reassuring squeeze, but of course, their circumstances made that impossible.

“Open wide, mutt,” Lex grinned once he stood mere inches from Mon’s face.

The warlock gripped Mon’s jaw in his hand, jerking to where he desired before forcing it open. Of course, Mon protested, but his weakened state made him putty in Lex’s hands, and once Lex managed to force the cold steel of the pliers in his mouth, there wasn’t anything he could do.

Kara turned her head, but she wasn’t able to block out Mon’s cry or the sound of his canine being wrenched from his gum. 

“Now, knock him out,” Lillian ordered from the alter. “We might be able to use him further, but the last thing we need is a feral werewolf on our hands during the ceremony.”

Kara cringed as she heard the sickening thud of metal against skull followed by the sound of Mon falling slack against chains. When she was able to find the courage to manage a peak at Mon’s unconscious state, Lex had already returned to the alter. Blood poured slowly from Mon’s mouth and Kara was grateful for the he was leaning forward so he hopefully wouldn’t risk choking on his own blood.

“Very good, Lex,” Lillian said as she set the burning sage down on the alter and raised the fresh werewolf tooth high. “The werewolf: the most powerful of all the fauna as it is the bridge between man and beast, but yet it is powerless against the moon.”

With that, she threw it into the bonfire, causing it to turn an odd blaze of purple momentarily. 

“Hank,” Lillian called. “I believe it’s your turn.”

“Yes, Miss Luthor,” Hank nodded before pulling a small vial from his pocket.

Gripping Jeremiah’s cheek with one hand, Hank forced the weakened dryad he previously called friend and neighbor to his knees. With his other hand, he popped off the top of the vial and then forced it down Jeremiah’s spluttering throat. Despite his attempt to resist, it was no use. It only took seconds for the potion to take effect and soon   
Jeremiah was unwillingly shifting into an odd hybrid state between dryad and human with bark skin and leaves sprouting from his head and shoulders but still looking very much human.

“Now you see angel,” Lillian smirked, clearly enjoying Kara’s look of horror. “It has been rather difficult for us to get our hands on a dryad as your use of herbs and immunity to most toxins make it difficult to use potions against you, but we’ve found it’s much easier once we have aspects of a certain dryad’s magic such as from a plant they have grown.” Lillian held up a green lime in her hand. “Look familiar?”

Kara’s stomach lurched. The snack she’d brought from the Danvers’s garden to the docks. The one she’d brought for Lena during their Shakespeare reading. The one she dropped into the sea minutes before the selkie had kissed her for the first time.

“No,” Kara whispered, but Lena could only hang her head in shame. 

“The more exotic it is, the better,” Lillian gave a proud smile towards Lena’s shameful stance. “She couldn’t have done better if I had asked.”

“But why?” Kara croaked. 

“Because I told her,” Lillian shrugged as she tossed the lime into the fire. “She’s bound to do whatever I tell her. That’s the price of me holding her skin. Oh, don’t look at me like that. She couldn’t have told you even if she wanted. I ordered her not to. She has no free will while I hold her. And I plan on holding her for as long as it takes.”

“Takes for what?” Kara asked.

“Takes for me the spell to finally work and for me finally have control of the moon,” Lillian snapped as if were obvious. “The moon carries the most power of all the cosmos. It forces the creatures to bend to its will, the flowers to blossom under its cycle, the tides to roll on its choosing, and it does nothing but waste it. It sticks to a regular pattern, becoming predictable and minimizing its own power. But not under my command- no. I will use that power to the fullest. The Luthors will rule for universe’s own good.”

“You’re mad,” Kara told her, a clear look of shock on her face. “The moon can’t be controlled. It’s above that.”

“Small mindedness such as that has damned you to the pathetic state you’re currently in,” the witch snapped. “Which reminds me-” Lillian reached for the short-handled ax on the table- “Lena, would you be a dear and cut me off one of the dryad’s limbs?”

A look of shock and horror crossed both Lena and Kara’s faces simultaneously. 

“You can’t be serious,” Lena gasped, slowly attempting to back away, but the bonfire and where Lex currently stood behind her made that difficult.

“Lena,” Lillian’s voice suddenly becoming hard. “Cut off the dryad’s limbs.”

With a heartbroken and pleading look on her face, Lena’s trembling body obeyed Lillian’s ordered. Her feet took her the shaky steps forward and her trembling hands outstretched to take the short-handled ax from Lillian’s hands much to the gruesome amusement of Lillian. Then she unwillingly turned her attention to the half tree, half human state of Jeremiah, her girlfriend’s adoptive father and neared him. Tears streamed down her face as the selkie raised the ax above her head in a wobbly hold.

With a sick thought, Kara realized that their reading of Hamlet may have prompted Lena to promise never to stab to Jeremiah, but she never said anything about chopping him.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, we don’t have time for this!” Lex snapped

Before Kara could fully grasp the change of events, Lex had already reached forward and jerked the ax out of Lena’s hold. Then with a flash movement and a sickening cut, the right limb of Jeremiah tree fell to the ground.

Kara had prepared herself for a scream, but somehow the silence only made it worse.

“Why must you ruin my fun?” Lillian groaned to her son.

“Because I want to ensure this works,” Lex said as he threw the now loose limb into the fire with a small grunt, triggering a burst of green and red from the blaze. “I don’t have time for your games.”

“Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses, dear. Or cedar in this case,” Lilian said as she lit another bit of sage on the alter. “Now make sure the tree stays that way. Use those spells I taught you.”

“Yes, mother,” Lex nodded, giving Lena’s still trembling state a brief look of pity before turning to do what his mother told him.

“Alright, let’s see.” Lillian drummed her fingers as she reviewed over the ingredients. “We have the werewolf tooth and hair for the fauna, the fruit grown by a dryad and one’s essence for flora. I suppose it’s time for the blood tie.” Her mouth curved into a grim smirk towards Lena. “It’s your time to shine, Lena.”

Still Lena remained unmoved with her head held down, both hands clenched firmly into fists at her side, refusing to response.

“Is that any way for a daughter to treat her mother? After everything I’ve done for you.” Lillian’s voice sickly sweet as she tutted. She flashed her teeth in her smile when she saw Lena’s nostrils flare. “Now hold out your hand; your mother needs you.”

While she continued to stubbornly refuse to look at Lillian, Lena slowly held out her shaking arm and hand. Lillian snatched the selkie’s wrist and pulled her closer, her tight hold coaxing Lena’s fist to open, as she reached for the black handle of the athame from the alter. When Lena’s fingers still moved too slow, Lillian prodded them with the sharp point, accelerating the process with pain and staining the selkie’s pale fingers red, until the blade could fully line up with the scar on Lena’s palm.

“Now remember,” Lillian said, readying the athame, “try not to make too much noise this time. You know how much I hate that.”

Then she slid the blade down Lena’s palm, erupting a red rush in its wake. Despite her gritted teeth and closed eyes, a pained cry still escaped Lena’s throat. Lillian’s grip remained taunt as she held Lena’s upright. The witches mouth moved in a whispered chant before slicing along the reopened wound once again, this time coating the sliver blade in blood. Once done, she released her hold, triggering Lena to fall into a crumpled mess to ground, cradling her still bleeding hand against her chest. 

Kara watched wide eyed and open mouthed as it all took place; the chains holding her didn’t matter as her own fear and shock held her captive. Lillian’s use of dark magic had sent a goose-bump inducing chill in the air that Kara felt to her very core. Kara so desperately wanted to run and help Lena in her pain. She wanted nothing more than her wings back so she could wrap Lena in her arms and take her to safety. But what was the point? Lena would just run back to Lillian again. 

Kara didn’t know which was worse: that after all that they had been through, Lena still chose to betray her or that after all of this, Kara still loved her.

But Kara’s turmoil was cut short by Lillian’s gaze shifting to her, those wicked eyes gleaming. Then she took a step forward and Kara’s pounding heart stuttered. The bloodied knife glinted in the light from the moon and fire as Lillian stalked towards Kara like a predator. When Kara saw the fear and pleading in Lena’s face, the blonde only became more terrified. 

“You didn’t think that you were just here to watch, did you?” 

Lillian tilted her head to the side as a spine-chilling smile stretched across her face as she approached the bound angel. Kara’s feet attempted a swift retreat, but her feet only flailed underneath her as the chains held her upper body still. The scars on her back flared as she dragged them back and forth along the rough bark of the tree in her struggle. She felt like a pathetic pest frantically attempting to escape an inescapable trap as its impending and overeager bringer of death neared. 

“A selkie’s blood may be rare but an angel’s… extraordinary.” Lillian smiled impossibly wider. “Now it won’t be just the ocean at my mercy but the heavens as well. The planets will bow before me and the stars will be guided by my own hand.”

“You can’t…” Kara whispered but the witch ignored her. 

With a muttered incantation and snap of her fingers, the bindings around Kara went slack and fell into a crumpled mess on the ground with Kara falling with it. She couldn’t yet feel her legs and they refused to cooperate like she wanted them to so before she could find her bearings, a set of large, strong hands found her and held her down on her knees so she kneeled before the witch. Kara didn’t need to turn her head to know who it was; she’d recognized that pine scent anywhere. Hank had clearly chosen his side even if that meant sacrificing those he once claimed he cared about.

When Lillian’s fingers found Kara’s wrist, Kara couldn’t help but cry out as her touch felt as if ice had started to seep in through her veins. The scars on her back burned in protest, igniting the fight in Kara once again, but her struggles were pathetic against the sturdy dryad and the enhanced witch. Lillian seemed to barely notice as she held Kara’s palm open and lined up the bloodied athame just as she did with the selkie before.

“Normally, I prefer silence,” Lillian said with a vile smirk as she pressed the blade against Kara’s palm, just shy from breaking the skin. “But I’ve always wanted to hear an angel scream.”

And scream Kara did.

The blade carved along Kara’s palm and while she had prepared herself for the slice of the cut and the possible sting from the salt of the selkie’s blood, she hadn’t expected to feel that pain anywhere else than her palm. Lena had once described it as nails running through her blood, but Kara thought it felt more like shards of glass, shattering and splintering into her bones and muscles as the sensation over took her. The scars on her back became enflamed, bending the blonde her their will and disfigurement as Lillian pressed the blade deeper into the flesh and blood of her hand. Kara barely managed a garbled cry pain as the blood magic ripped through her. Her vision turned red and black as her legs crumpled, but the bruising hold the pine dryad had on her bicep kept her standing.

Kara was so wrapped up in this torture that she failed to notice the grim elation fall from Lillian’s face. The witch’s face twisted into one of frustration as she pressed the athame deeper into Kara’s palm, coating it with more blood as she whispered the Latin chant once more, but once again, it lacked the response she craved.

“No, this should be working,” Lillian muttered, pulling the knife away from Kara’s bleeding hand. 

And in a rush, the agony rippling through her veins seeped out, leaving Kara feeling cold and empty despite her proximity to the large bonfire. A weakness overcame her that had Kara believing she’d be able to sleep for days on end without care, and if it weren’t for Hank, she’d have surely fallen face first against the ground in exhaustion. Feebly, Kara raised her head to see Lillian’s intense study of the blood covered knife in front of her and the way her mouth contorted in disgust.

“An angel’s blood is supposed to be the most powerful in existence,” Lillian griped, gripping the athame tightly in her hand as she studied it in the light of the flame. “I should be able to feel it’s power, to see its magic, but there’s nothing. This isn’t possible…unless.” She whipped her head towards Kara, her dark eyes glowing with a rage that made Kara cringe and her stomach flood with fear. “Hank, remove her cloak.”

“No,” Kara breathed. 

Realization and then fear shocked a sudden burst of energy and strength back into Kara’s limbs as her fist latched on to stained cloak over her backless shirt, doing her best to keep her shameful scars covered, but her depleted strength was no match for Hank. The fabric was wrenched from her clenched fists in seconds and without the dryad holding her up, Kara fell forward, catching herself with her shaking arms and bearing her bare back to the cold air and night sky. Closing her eyes and hanging her head, Kara bore her scars to the painful scrutiny of those who only wished to cause her more.

“What?” Lillian gasped, her teeth gnashing like an animal before she snapped her gaze over to the selkie who now staggered to her feet. “You never told me she was fallen. You’re not supposed to be able to lie to me!”

“I didn’t lie,” Lena replied with a somewhat smugger look on her pained face while still clutching her bleeding palm to her chest. “I just never bothered to update you with the truth when I found out.”

A fire ignited in the witch’s dark eyes as she viscously seethed. Her nostrils flared and spit frothed at her mouth for a split moment as her mind raced for a new strategy. With her still tight grip the bloodied knife and a slow turn back towards the panting and bleeding fallen angel in front of her, a new light danced in her eyes. 

“Get her to her feet, Hank,” Lillian ordered, her knuckles whitening as she clenched them tighter. 

Though Hank hesitated momentarily, he soon had his grip back on Kara’s biceps and was wrenching her back up to her feet despite her pained cry. Kara hung limp and shivering in his hold, her dirty and bloodied blonde hair cascading over her face as her head lolled forward. On her back, her scars oozed fresh blood. They must have reopened when Lillian preformed the blood magic, Kara thought. Winn would have to make her more salve soon. That is if she ever saw him again. Why hadn’t she said goodbye?

Kara had become so lost in her thoughts and regrets that she hadn’t noticed Lillian stalking towards her until they were only mere inches away. She could still smell the cedar notes of Jeremiah and the salty scent of Lena on her; smells that once warmed her heart now churned her stomach.

“You’ve been nothing but a waste of my time,” Lillian sneered, her spit smattering Kara’s face as her dark eyes matched with those now dull blue. “And I have no use for fallen angel trash.”

“No!” Lena cried as she lurched forward but it was too late. 

It felt like a pinch at first. 

Right on the skin of her gut. Just above her belly button.

A very hard pinch, like the ones Alex would give her on arm when she was annoyed. 

But then that pinch became a cramp. Like one of those cramps that made it hard to breath and you just had to wait for it to pass. 

Only this cramp didn’t pass. 

No, it morphed into a new kind of foreign ache. One that Kara had never felt so completely. 

It wasn’t until it was followed by sharp sting did Kara realize Lillian had removed the knife from her stomach.

“NO! KARA!” Lena screamed as she staggered forward, clearly still feeling the effects of Lillian’s blood magic. 

No longer seeing the point, Hank released his hold on Kara, letting her fall to the ground with a dull thud. Her arms didn’t catch her this time as she fell to her side as they were too busy trying to catch whatever blood flowed from her abdomen. Kara’s blue eyes rolled, watching Lillian above her not even bothering to wipe the athame clean or care to regard her with anything but a look of disgust. As she turned away, the heel of her shoe made an indent in the dirt now turned mud from plasma.

All this mud and blood would surely stain her clothes, Kara thought as a haze crept through her. Eliza wouldn’t like that. She wouldn’t like any of this. At least she still had Alex. That was the daughter she deserved anyways. And Alex had Maggie. Maggie would look at after her and keep her safe. Much safer that Kara clearly could. They deserved to be happy while Kara deserved this muddy, stained grave. An odd sense of irony pricked Kara as she realized that she always thought that the wounds on her back would be the death of her, not a new one in the front. 

But the truly cruel part of all of this was that despite her radiating pain in her stomach, nothing quite hurt like her heart. Each of Lena’s cries and pleas for Kara to just look at her only reverberated in her chest cavity, shattering her heart all the more. 

“Silence, sea filth!” Lillian snapped. Despite the creeping cloudiness of her vision, Kara could still make out the witch grabbing Lena by her raven hair, casing Kara’s split gut to lurch.

Despite it all, Kara had to help her. There was still this drive within her that existed even with everything that was going on, Kara still had to protect Lena. Even as her body was being poured out like a drink offering and her time neared, Kara couldn’t bear the thought of watching Lena suffer like that. Gritting her teeth through the pain, Kara feebly pushed herself up to her hands and knees. The thought crossed her mind of what on earth she could even do in a state like this, but she didn’t dwell on that for long. All she could think about was how much more that selkie’s life valued than her own.

“You know why I kept you around?” Lillian continued, sneering in Lena’s harsh gaze. “Because you were an investment. I thought I could make do with just your blood, using you for every full moon and potion I need. Giving it that special kick. But you’ve become more hassle than you’re worth. A selkie’s blood is powerful but that’s not the most powerful magic they possess. And I’m not talking about their tears.”

Reaching into own pristine cloak, Lillian pulled out a peculiar, large gray lump. Kara had to squint to make it out as she slowly pushed herself to her feet but Lena responded instantly, making the realization hit Kara all the sooner, slowing her for a few seconds as she took it all in, just barely being able to remain standing.

It was Lena’s selkie’s skin.

“A-ah-ahh,” Lillian tsked as she pulled back by her raven hair and held the skin just out of Lena’s reach. “Your usefulness has run its course. Your little stunt has done more than just inconvenience me, but I believe this will remedy it.”

“No, please,” Lena plead, her eyes desperate as she locked on to her seal skin she’s missed so much for so many years. “Don’t.”

“Now is that anyway for a daughter to bid farewell to her mother?” Lillian smirked, giving one last taunting pull on Lena’s hair. “Don’t you know that mothers always know best?”

With that final taunt, Lillian tossed the gray selkie skin into the bonfire. The flames eagerly consumed it, even reaching out and grabbing it seconds after the selkie skin left Lillian’s hands. It turned the orange-yellow flames an unnatural blue-green as it licked the fins and snout of the seal skin Lena craved so desperately, turning the black and shriveled. A burst of salty air erupted from blaze, triggering brief memories of Kara and Lena’s shared time at the dock. But also, an unnatural wail filled the air, and all the sad laments Kara had heard before became nothing compared to this one.

As mesmerizing and strangely hypnotic this all was, it failed to prepare Kara for what was to come next as she attempted to stagger forward to Lena’s aid.

Time seemed to slow, making the seconds feel like hours when Lena wrenched herself from Lillian’s grip. Perhaps the witch’s hold had gone limp in the moment or the burning had given Lena a sudden burst of strength, but for a moment, Kara thought Lena was going to push Lillian into the fire she already stood so dangerously close to. 

But Lena’s gaze never left that discolored section of the fire where her selkie skin lie. 

And that was exactly where she threw herself.

The blossoming ache of a knife to the gut was nothing compared to the wave of agony that gripped Kara when she saw the woman she loved become obscured by smoke and fire and her pale skin turn dark when as she knelt down over her burning skin in both pain and mourning. 

“As I told you,” Lillian’s sharp voice cutting through the haze, “There is nothing that a selkie loves more than their skin.”

That may be true, but there was nothing Kara loved more than Lena. 

And with a weak stagger and determined leap, Kara threw herself into the fire after Lena.

\---

“She really was a fool,” Lillian said, remembering the fate the tarot cards had foretold before. “Let’s only hope that doesn’t ruin our spell. The last thing we need is a fallen angel spoiling it all for us.”

“Mother… I thought she didn’t have wings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always been a sucker for Daniel 3. Personally, I blame all the Veggie Tales I watched as a kid. Of course, this is a bit darker, but eh, it happens.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your patience! It's been a wild journey up to here and I am still ever so grateful so many of you have joined me for. I will forever be humbled by all of you.


	37. Chapter 37

Kara had thought she had known what it meant to be hot before. That it was like working in the fields in the middle of July with the eternal summer sun beating on her back, whipping at her skin until it was red and peeling. That it was like shoving her fingers numb from the cold into warm water and gritting her teeth through the pain as feeling was shocked back into them. That it was cooking over a fire in the small stuffy kitchen unable to move too far away because someone had to keep stirring the stew. 

All of that paled in comparison to standing within the mouth of this bonfire. 

It was too hot to sweat. Too smoky to breath. Too bright to see. The flames latched on to her legs in hot cords, attempting to pull her down into the hot coals and magic brewing within, but even with the still seeping wound in her gut, Kara still had some fight left in her. It wasn’t that she cared so much for herself, but that she cared for the that raven haired selkie that curled up in the same flames.

Kara had to protect her and by any means necessary. Her life meant too much to be extinguished this way.

While the search felt like hours, Kara knew it was only a handful of seconds at most. And while the blaze seemed to go for miles, the bonfire was really on a few feet wide at most. Kara stumbled into another figure in no time. Even though she lacked most of her senses besides basic touch, Kara knew without a doubt that it was Lena because as soon as she touched her and lifted her in her arms, the pain faded.

And it wasn’t just in her scars like Lena’s touch normally soothed. No, this time, it was everything. Her racing thoughts, her pounding heart, her trembling hands, everything. For the first time she could remember, she felt the warmth of content and stillness of peace. The sensation overflowed to the point where it felt as if it were radiating off her and even flowing like a current through her hand and into Lena. She didn’t realize it actually was until she felt the weight of Lena leaning into her touch.

For a moment, she just stood there and let the peace all roll over and consume her. Being there with Lena only turned it into euphoria. The flames and heat were forgotten and it was just them. Finally, together. 

She stooped down, lacing one arm under her knees and the other around her back and lifted Lena up in her arms. When Lena’s arms slipped around her neck and leaned her head against her shoulder, Kara would have sworn she was in heaven. A soft, white curtain draped around them, closing them in their own private moment of just merely holding each other and listening to soothing rhythm of each other’s heartbeat. 

But after a few seconds, Kara the bright light became too much to ignore. Peeking out her eyelids, Kara’s heart jolted as she remembered the blaze they now stood within and the painful burns that were inevitable. But the burns nor smoke ever came. Instead Kara’s eyes widened as they danced along their flesh and feet, halted by an unknown barrier from causing any harm. With a deep sigh of relief, the white curtain around them pulsed. Drawing her attention away from the fire beneath, Kara inspected the white curtain, noticing the feature like texture and how it emanated its own light, one much purer and soothing than the frenzied fire surrounding them. Just as Kara considered reaching out to touch them, Lena stirred in her arms and the white curtain instinctively tightened around them, and that was when it hit her.

They were her wings.

The wings that had once been ripped away from her had returned. 

And now they protected what she loved most who was safe in her arms.

Exhilaration and elation suddenly gripped Kara and with a joyful noise, she threw her wings out behind, stretching them out to complete span. The flames retreated and attempted to latch on but their efforts proved fruitless against the bright light currently shining from Kara’s current figure. Relishing in the freedom and fulfilment she had spent the last three years craving, Kara took a deep breath, not tasting the smoke but a fresh sea breeze. Without the wings acting as a curtain around her, Kara could not see clearly through the blaze into the eyes of the two stunned Luthor witches staring right at them.

Gripping Lena tighter in her arms and tensing her wings behind her, Kara took a step towards them. The burning lumber crushed beneath her feet and the ashes smoldered as she took another and then another. Soon they were both out of the flames, unharmed and unscathed, and Kara couldn’t resist a smirk of triumph as the shock in the Luthor’s face turned into horror.

“That’s impossible,” Lillian gasped as she retreated backwards. “You’re fallen… I saw the scars!”

“Scars heal,” Kara said, her voice sounding foreign to her as it radiated with an unknown confidence. “The fallen can be redeemed.”

“No!” Lillian snapped. “It’s permanent! That dark magic only corrupts and overcomes! That darkness cannot be reserved!”

“Not today,” Kara declared as she braced her foot on Lillian’s now abandoned alter. “Let there be light.”

And with a powerful kick, the witches’ alter split down the middle with a mighty crack, breaking whatever spell the Luthors still had brewing. A frighten cry escaped Lex’s mouth as he stumbled backwards to the ground, landing on his back before hastily crawling away. Lillian, however, held her ground. The athame quivered in her white-knuckled grip but her eyes were still flashing dark and dangerous, but Kara had no fear. 

She was Lena’s guardian angel and guard her she would.

Lena’s eyes were wide when Kara looked down at her, but her hold on Kara had only increased ten-fold. She wasn’t so much frightened as she was shocked as her gaze roved over the new Kara and all her glory. Those green eyes that Kara loved so much only widened when they landed on those mighty white wings the once fallen angel now sported proudly. With a soft squeeze of reassurance, Kara knelt down, setting the selkie on the soft grass before placing herself in front of her. Her stance shifted into one of combat as a resurgence of muscle memory took over. The white wings on her back tensed and spread themselves out wide to protect the beloved selkie behind her. No more would she be victim to the Luthor’s wrath. 

But before either the winged warrior or the wicked witch could move, a sharp howl tore through the night. 

Both heads snapped towards the dark horizon. Kara’s brow furrowed in confusion while Lillian’s lips uttered a curse. Fumbling for a silver pendant around her neck, she shouted for her son to do the same. Unsure of the impending threat, Kara crotched down and curved her wings to cover Lena around her, determined to protect her with everything she had.

A thundering sound of a creature running resounded over a growing growl as the creature charged towards them. Kara tensed as attempted to prepare herself for whatever dark creature Lillian had summoned. But in her focused preparation, she failed to notice the color leaving Lillian and Lex’s face or their hurried incantations or slurred, whispered words as they each gripped the pendant around their neck like a lifeline. Behind them, the fear was slowly growing in Hank as he began to pace around as if he were looking for a place to plant himself.

Then the creature entered into the realm of the light and Kara’s heart stuttered. The beast was large and canine like. Its brown fur was matted and patched with dirt and blood. Its mouth frothed, adding an extra gleam to the row of sharp teeth that looked ready to tear limb from limb. Its ears and nose twitched and Kara caught sight of the recent tear in its ears. The beast had recently been in a fight, and from how it eyed them now, the bloodlust still needed more to satisfied. The wolf slowed when it neared them and emitted a deep growl before stalking towards, eyeing everyone with its hungry brown eyes. But rather than fear setting in, realization hit Kara.  
She knew those eyes.

Those were the same eyes she’d seen through the smoke earlier that day.

Maggie had fought the alpha and won.

“Stay back, mutt!” Lillian barked, holding out the gleaning silver pendant in her hand. Her voice may have been firm, but Kara could see her hand shake.

Yet the wolf seemed unfazed as Lillian and Lex didn’t seem to be her main objective. Those brown eyes darted around, searching in the dark until it settled on the large dryad behind them who was still in the process of trying to find a place to take root. A sudden sharp growl cut through the air and Hank looked up, as if he knew it was for him. His jaw went slack when he locked eyes with the large wolf.

He yelped as the wolf lunged.

She soared over both witches with ease as they both fell to the ground in terror. Rather than running, Hank closed his eyes and attempted to will himself into tree from on the spot, a common defensive method for dryads, but he wasn’t fast enough. The wolf’s frothing jaws had already torn a piece of his shoulders, leaving a splintered and bleeding hold in the now screaming dryad. With a jerk of her head, the wolf spat it into the bonfire beside them. The flames ate it greedily before dancing as it begged for more. The wolf was all too happy to oblige. 

Kara turned her head, cringing as she heard the dryad she had once called neighbor and friend be torn apart and burned so nothing remained but splinters, blood, and ash. Despite it feeling like an eternity ago, Kara had just endured a much similar process of the same happening to her adoptive father. Craning her head, she was able to spot the unconscious and oblivious body of Jeremiah behind it all. Her stomach twisted as she remembered that it wasn’t the shadow the night that made his body look different, but the axe from before and the loss of his arm. Thankfully, he still appeared too unconscious to be in any apparent pain.

Hanks cries ceased all too quickly, but the roar of the fire only grew. The scent of pine wafted towards Kara, triggering her to wrinkle her nose in disgust. Bile coated her throat and mouth, but she willed herself to be strong. She had to be strong; not for her sake but for the selkie beneath her. 

Willing herself to finally look up, Kara saw that the wolf was still busying herself throwing the remains of Hank into the fire. Quite the grotesque sight, Kara’s eyes gladly flicked away to focus on the current distraction of Lex’s feet fanatically backing away in horror.

“What are you doing?” Lillian hissed at her son. “Get back here!”

“No mother,” Lex gasped, his eyes so wide that they made his bad forehead look small. “It’s over. We’re in over our head. We need to get out of here.”

“A Luthor doesn’t back down from a fight!” Lillian snapped, her dark eyes flashing with her grip still firm on the bloodied dagger in her hand as she took on a more defensive pose. “Stand your ground and fight like a man!”

“I’m sorry, mother,” Lex whispered, hanging his head before turning to take off in sprint towards the woods.”

However, he didn’t get very far. Not previously looking where he was going, he failed to notice the sudden tree or its branch outstretched before him. The well-placed branch caught him right in the chest, effectively counteracting the force he was running at it reversing it so the bald witch suddenly found himself lying on his back dazed with the wind knocked out of him. He groaned and searched for what had taken him out by surprise. After all, he had been sure that no tree was this far within the field; they were all supposed to be in the surrounding forest. Surely, he would have noticed a tree as big as that one even with it being so dark.

But before he could attempt to get up and resume with his current retreat, a strong foot came down to rest on his chest. While the foot may have been small, it packed a lot of strength behind it, firmly rooting him in place. Blinking back his dazed vision, a figure of a redheaded woman slowly took form above him. 

He knew he should have just taken out the dryad himself. 

“Leaving so soon?” Alex asked him as she leaned on her foot propped on his chest. “But the party’s just getting started.”

“Be careful not to over exert yourself, Alex,” Eliza said fretfully as she rushed towards her daughter from the surrounding wood. “I don’t think it’s wise to put so much faith in that concoction Winn made for you.”

“Hey!” Winn piped up as he rushed into the clearing behind them, his chest heaving from exertion to keep up. “First of all, it’s not a concoction; it’s an antidote and steroid. Second of all, since when did you lose faith in me?”

“Boils are rather hard to forget,” Eliza shot back with a pointed glare.

“Alex,” Kara gasped aloud, still not over the shock of her sister standing only meters away as healthy as could be. 

Over on the other side of the bonfire, the mighty wolf let out a happy bark before bounding towards the redheaded dryad. Her excitement easily concealed her limp as she rushed towards Alex and buried her face into the dryad’s chest, her tailing wagging frantically behind her. A bright smile spread over Alex’s face as she laced her fingers into the copper fur and dropped down so she could hug the she-wolf fiercely around the neck. She began stroking the wolf’s fur as tears slipped from her eyes.

Kara’s heart swelled. They were okay. Both Alex and Maggie were okay.

In doing this, Alex’s foot slipped off Lex’s chest, but before he could do anything, Eliza’s foot took its place as she gave the bald Luthor a daring glare. Beside her, Winn tried his best to look threatening to his fellow witch, but he lacked the dramatics due to his lungs still trying desperately to catch their breath. But as he braced himself on his knees, he happened to notice that the light source separate than the bonfire, and he nearly fell forward.

“Kara?” Winn breathed just loud enough for Eliza to catch it.

Following Winn’s gaze, the older dryad finally located her adoptive daughter just feet away. And just like Winn, an expression of shock overtook her features, triggering her eyes to widened and jaw to slacken.

“Kara…your wings…”

Kara could feel a heat overtaking her that she knew wasn’t form the fire as blush covered her cheeks and neck. Barely managing a small embarrassed smile, Kara flapped her might white wings behind her as if she was assuring not only them but herself that they were real.

“No,” Lillian seethed. “No! I put too much effort and planning into this for it all to end like this.”

“It’s over, Lillian,” Lena declared, slowly circling around to in front of Kara so her dark gaze could lock with Lillian. With everything going on, Kara had failed to realize that Lena was awake and aware. But Lena was much more than that in that moment. She was so strong and sure of herself that Kara didn’t see a woman that needed a guardian angel, but one that was one. “Give up. You’re surrounded. And you’re all out of ideas.”

Rather than the fear and defeat that everyone hoped for, a cruel smile stretched across Lillian’s face and a light danced in her eyes. 

“Why, dear daughter, whoever said I was out of ideas?”

The witch’s tongue suddenly changed to Latin as she began a rapid chant. The athame that she had since been gripping like a weapon of defense curled in front of her as she aimed the sharp point of the jagged blade up with her heart.

“No!” Lena screamed as she moved to race forward, but Kara grabbed her arm to hold her back. It didn’t take an angel to see that whatever Lillian was doing, there was nothing they could do to stop it. Instead, Kara curled her arms and wings around Lena, shielding her from whatever danger was soon to come their way.

A soft cry left Lillian’s pale, brittle lips as the blade of the knife sunk into her chest, piercing her heart. But rather than blood pouring out of the wound, only darkness came. A thick could seeped out as it gradually wrapped the Luthor witch within it, blocking her from both the bonfire and Kara’s light. The dark cloud around her began to grow, and it took Kara a moment to realize that the cloud was growing because Lillian herself was also growing. A grotesque growl filled the air that made Maggie’s prior werewolf growls sound like a puppy’s whimper. At the top of the dark cloud, gleaming horns spiraled out and red eyes blinked through the darkness, narrowing at the white light Kara currently admitted. 

But rather than backing down, Kara stood firm. As much as she loved and had faith in Lena and her family, Kara immediately knew that this wasn’t a battle that they could fight. This wasn’t a battle of witches against dryads or family against family. No, this was a battle that was as old as time itself. This was a battle of darkness against the light.

She was a guardian angel, and it was time she stood guard. 

It may have been years, but her memories were now solid. She could pull this off, or at least, Kara told herself she could. Giving Lena’s forehead a quick kiss, Kara launched herself upwards with her wings. Despite this being her first time taking flight in years, the sensation was very similar to riding a bike. Or at least that’s what she told herself. Kara had never actually ridden a bike but she was sure the metaphor still rang true to this situation. Of course, of all things to be thinking about right before she squared up to fight a witch demon, this was not one of them. 

Shaking her head, Kara pumped her wings again, lifting herself high enough in the air so she was level with the mighty, beastly demon that was before. The dark cloud had already begun to fall, revealing the spiral horns, red eyes, and goat like snout in all its grotesque splendor. Even as a demon, Lillian’s smirk held the same gaudy aurora that one couldn’t resist wanting to split their knuckle against with a mighty right hook. The same urge flowed through Kara. But before she could even get an attack in, Lillian snatched her out of the air, gripping her tightly in her fist.

While she may now have the appearance of a goat in her face, her hands had stayed very much human like with the exception of the jagged claws that now curved from her fingertips and dug into Kara’s back. Her wings twisted and bent in the most uncomfortable angel within the demonic beast’s grip. A small part of her now worried that she had lost the ability to fly so soon after getting them back. 

And that fear was only made worse by Lillian’s cold fingers squeezing tighter around her as she clenched her fist. Kara gave out a cry as she fought back, flexing and fighting the monster’s grip. And for a moment, she proved successful at prying back the fingers just enough for her to breathe again and wiggle her arms and wing around. 

But then the darkness came.

That cloud that had consumed and overtaken Lillian just moments before, welled up and attempted to do the same to Kara. It gathered around Lillian’s fat demonic hand, covering Kara’s wings and her light. It burned against Kara’s skin, but just as she opened her mouth to cry out in pain, the darkness plunged into Kara’s mouth, driving itself down the angel’s throat and seeping into her from the inside out.

While the darkness burned her skin like acid, it chilled her insides with a surprisingly sweet taste. Almost like ice cream but without the brain freeze. Quite frankly, it even a bit pleasant. Kara even found her tense muscles relaxing in Lillian’s still tight grip. Even though the Danvers rarely supplied it, Kara always had a weakness for sweets. For the past few weeks, Kara had become no stranger to the darkness within her, even falling victim to it on many occasions. It was easy and familiar and relaxing. After all the turmoil tonight, all she wanted was this pleasant peace.

But something within stirred, refusing to let Kara fall all too quickly to this demon or its sweet temptation. The persistant thought reminding her that too many sweets lead to sickness and how her stomach was already beginning to sour. Her sweet tooth thrived on the sensation, but her chest twisted with a pang of longing for a different flavor she had become so accustom to over the past month.

The salty sea water taste of a selkie’s lips.

Clinging to that pang and desire in her heart, Kara began to fight back. Her arms twisted, her legs kicked, her wings flapped. She looked deep within herself to find that light and pull it to the surface. Just moments before, she had walked through roaring flames. How much more of a threat could a goat-faced Lillian be?

And it worked. Lillian’s grip began to slacken and Kara was even able to pump her wings to thrust herself out of large fist’s grasp and above the sprouted spiral horns of Lillian. Parts of the darkness still clung to her, but a bright light radiated out from beneath, shrugging them off in clumps. Kara’s chest swelled. This was it. This was exactly what she had missing for the past three years. This was her purpose and all she had ever craved in life.

But Lillian’s tricks were still far from over. Thrusting out her clawed hand, Kara easily dodged it with her quick wings, but she failed to notice the dark ropes that shot out and wrapped around her ankles and legs. Before Kara could even fight her way out of their grip, more dark ropes emerged, trapping her wrists and arms in the same tight, burning vice. They became an anchor too strong for Kara to hold, and she fell once again back down towards earth. This time, her wings didn’t fare so well. She felt them break and twist in unnatural ways after impact. Tears formed in her eyes as she cried out in pain.

The darkness had no sympathy though.

It continued, working and expanding until it enveloped her. The darkness crept over her face as Kara desperately searched for Lena or someone, anyone, but her vision faded and blackened in a matter of seconds. Her mouth and nose became covered as she struggled for breath as her mounting anxiety demanded more of it, but there was no use. Gone were the moments of sweet temptation as this was harsh and immediate. Mere seconds before the darkness completely enveloped her, a desperate howl split through the air.

At first, Kara didn’t quite catch it. She thought it was just another factor of the darkness or her own fears turning against hers. But then the despair of that howl sank in; a despair that wasn’t her own. And there was something else about it beyond the despair; almost like a taunt. Asking if this really was all Kara had to give. 

Even in this period of near defeat, annoyance sparked in Kara’s chest. She felt the urge to scream at the source of that howl and tell her she was doing her best. That is wasn’t easy fighting against insurmountable odds and that Maggie was free to try it any time. Kara had already walked through flames tonight, she’d stood up to the wicked, and sacrificed everything, and that this critique was the last thing she needed. 

But then Kara remembered that she wasn’t the only one to walk through flames that day. That she wasn’t the only one who carried out the woman she loved most. 

Then Kara remembered that she wasn’t the only one who had stood up to the wicked. That she wasn’t the one still chained to a tree and bleeding because of it.

Then Kara remembered that she wasn’t the only one who had sacrificed everything. That she wasn’t the one with a spouse lying lifeless without an arm in the field.

She wasn’t Alex who had refused to rest or care for herself until she knew her sister was taken care for. She wasn’t Winn who continually tried and faced terrifying odds just for the chance of helping a friend. She wasn’t Lena who, despite this hell, still tried to protect those she cared for most. 

For the past three years, Kara may not have had her wings, but she had a family. A family that had protected her and loved her and provided for her. A family that she wasn’t going to die in front of. A family that she wouldn’t let any harm come to. 

Kara wasn’t just Lena’s guardian’s angel; she was all of theirs. 

That previous pang of longing warped within her chest into something beautiful and overwhelming. Her own body failed to contain the sweet light blooming within. The darkness over her vision traded for a bright light. Her eyes and ears and mouth were open and now only love flowed in while power flowed out. Kara’s feet touched the ground as she held her hands out wide, now knowing that she didn’t need to fly to be the angel she was. Because she wasn’t just an angel, but also a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a lover.

A demonic cry filled the as Lillian stumbled back from the now blinding light of Kara. Due to her heighten stature, Lillian failed to consider the size difference between her and her now smashed alter. The back of her heel caught it just so, sending Lillian falling on her back, right into the hungry bonfire she created.

While Lillian may have now looked like a hell spawn, she certainly wasn’t fire proof.

Lillian’s desperate cries echoed throughout the night as the mighty flames reduced her to ash and nothingness within a matter of seconds.

\---

Lena sat curled in a ball on the meadow field, staring in disbelief and despair at the fire that had consumed both her tormentor and skin in span of a single night. Her torture was now over but now she didn’t know where her life would begin. She loved Kara dearly, but now that she had her wings back, why would she want to be with someone as broken and traumatized as her? Kara was beautiful and stunning. Not to mention powerful. What even was a selkie without their skin? 

The answer was nothing.

But as Kara approached her, she looked at the selkie as she was everything.

“It’s over, Lena,” Kara told her as she knelt down in front of her. “You’re free.”

“Thank you,” Lena whispered, her throat hoarse and eyes dry.

“Can I see your hands?” Kara asked softly, holding out her own.

Keeping her head down, Lena nodded and slowly offered her hands to Kara which the angel quickly took. Lena couldn’t help but marvel slightly at how Kara’s tan skin now seemed to radiate light, especially in comparison to Lena’s pale, scarred hands. 

She was so busy marveling that she barely noticed the sweet notes of Kara’s humming, but she most definitely noticed the delicious sensation running through her hands. The wound on her palm knitted itself together, the flesh melding back together in a smooth surface absent of the scars that Lena had come to familiar with. But it didn’t just stop there. The insides of her fingers tingled as skin that long since been clipped by the Luthor witch grew back in an instance. Her eyes watered as she flexed her fingers and felt the forgotten but greatly missed tug of the webbing between.

“Why…” Lena breathed as tears spilled down her cheek. As grateful as she was, there was no need for her to have webbed hands once again. Now that her skin and burned, she wasn’t a selkie anymore and this would only serve as a painful reminder of the world she has since lost.

“Well, I figured that they match all too well with this lovely skin of yours.”

Lena snapped up her gaze and gasped aloud when she saw the gray selkie skin in Kara’s hand. Instinctively, she snatched it out of Kara’s grip and pulled it into her chest before burying her face into it. It may have now had a smoky smell to it and be a bit dried out, but it was still so soft and just like she remembered. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until Kara pulled her into her arms. 

“Thank you,” Lena sniffled into Kara’s warm chest. “Thank you so much.”

“What kind of guardian angel would I be if I didn’t protect all of you?” Kara asked, squeezing Lena tighter. “Which reminds me, I have a few dryads and werewolves I need to heal really quick. But after that, do you want to meet up on our usual spot on the dock?”

“You still want to be with me?” Lena whispered, staring at the face of the beautiful blonde she loved so much.

“On the darkest night to the brightest day, I’ll want to be with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this horrible habit of slacking off once things get close to the end because I hate saying goodbye, but it looks like Stars and Sea is at that point. An epilogue might come in the future, but there aren't any definite plans. It has certainly been a wild ride and I will forever be grateful that so many of you joined me on it. Could I have made the ride smoother? Most definitely. But y'all hung on even in the craziest of times and I truly humbled. Thank you again so much for the time you invested into this. I am truly blessed and so thankful. 
> 
> [If you still want to be bothered by me, here's my tumblr ](https://aspirinforest.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. This is my first fic so feedback is much appreciated


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